Jun 052022
 

We close on the new house on June 15th. The actual move is on the 25th. After the move, we have until the 30th to clean the apartment and get our deposit back. In other words, June is a busy month.

Somehow I managed to get some writing done this week. I decided that my 131,000 word story wasn’t long enough and added a sex scene. That is in addition to the bad ending I wrote where you and a friend become sex maniacs. I can thank Amanda Clover’s books for teaching me that even bad endings should be their own sex scenes and reward in itself.

My current obsession is cookbooks. I have been browsing the food section of Amazon and compulsively adding cookbooks left and right to my wish list. More entertaining are the reviews for cookbooks where people take the time and energy to write a nasty review because the recipes didn’t take into account this one weird problem that the review author has. I don’t know why, but those petty narcissistic reviews make me cackle.

For the past seven years I have been in a small apartment kitchen. There is enough counter space for one cutting board and not a big one. The house will have a kitchen island in addition to the counters. I can’t wait to get in there and make something that might require TWO cutting boards.

Just twenty more days.

May 272022
 

Last month, my wife and I put in an offer for a house and it was accepted. The new place is 15 minutes away but there is still a shit load of packing to do. Not to mention that buying a house is a lot more complicated than the Sims made it out to be. This is the second house that I have bought and wow, the paperwork is insane. Not to mention that we needed to buy furniture and appliances as well as hire painters and other craftsmen.

In other words, I have been busy as fuck. Somehow, I am still plugging away at my next Choose-your-own-erotica book and there is a small chance it will be ready at the end of June. Don’t hold me to that because if I have learned one thing, there is always another damn thing to do when it comes to house buying and moving.

In the meantime, I will post updates on Fridays to let you know how close I am to resuming my normal porn producing schedule. Thank you for your patience.

Apr 272022
 

“We received 36 offers for your house,” the realtor said. “The highest offer is for forty thousand over your asking price. The second highest is twenty thousand over, but they are willing to pay cash which means we can close in a day if you want.”

“Holy shit,” I said. “I knew it was a seller’s market but this is crazy.”

“I also want to draw your attention to three more offers that are a bit more unconventional,” the realtor said. She passed me a portrait photo of an attractive blonde woman. It looked like a boudoir shot. The woman was wearing a red negligee with matching red lipstick. There was a knowing look in her eye that promised dirty things.

“This offer is ten thousand over your asking price, but it includes a one time offer of oral sex performed by the wife of the purchasing couple. Their offer includes the invitation to ejaculate in her mouth, on her face or on her breasts.”

I stared at my realtor. I didn’t think she had this dirty of a sense of humor. Her deadpan delivery was perfect.

“Is this for real?” I asked.

My realtor nodded. “Like I said, it is a very competitive market.”

“What the fuck are the other offers?”

The realtor passed me a set of small Polaroid pictures. They featured a black woman completely nude on a bed. She had lovely small breasts and a rather large bush of black hair. The things she was doing to a dildo was anatomically impressive.

“This offer comes from a couple who will be moving in with their adult daughter,” the realtor said. “The offer is for the asking price, but they are including the free use of their daughter for one day a month for twelve months, along with a lifetime subscription to the woman’s OnlyFans. Apparently, the daughter is in the top point six percent of content providers.”

I licked my lips. One photo showed incredible flexibility with her legs. “What does free use mean?”

“It simply means you can engage in sexual activity at your discretion. Though I do want to emphasize that it only applies for one day a month.”

“And there is a third offer?”

The realtor turned her laptop around to face me. There was a video of a curvy redhead wearing nothing but a leather collar around her neck. She was bent over a bench, sucking a masked man’s cock while a masked woman spanked her from behind.

“This offer is for ten thousand less than the asking price, but it includes the gift of a submissive woman who will be willing to live with you. The buying couple trains submissives for a living and this one owes them a personal favor of some sort. You will have full responsibility and use of their submissive for a three-year period with the exception of a two-week period during the Christmas holidays.”

I watched the video and took note of the attractive way the redhead wriggled within her restraints.

“Oh wow,” I whispered. “I see what you mean by a seller’s market.”

“Do you need time to consider which offer you want to accept?”

I looked at the photos in front of me. My mind went back to the highest offer that seemed so boring and dull in retrospect. The portrait with the blonde stared up at me, inviting me to ruin her makeup. The pictures of the black woman tempted me with sexual gymnastics. On the video, the redhead submitted to more debauchery. All the while, I weighed the temptations with the offset in purchasing price. There were my own expenses to consider.

“No need,” I replied. “I know which offer I am taking.”

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Apr 252022
 

A Long Way to a Small Angry Planet is a science fiction book by Becky Chambers. It involves the crew of the Wayfarer, a modest spaceship that punches holes through reality to create stable wormholes. The crew is a mix of humans and aliens, working together to take on contracts and make a living. They are not military or freebooters; they are the future space equivalent of a road crew. Or to put it another way, just one character from your Star Wars/Star Trek/RPG group could murder every member of the Wayfarer with no problem.

Which is great! This is not a book about fights or action scenes. This is a book that a contract the crew takes on and spend the better part of a year trying to complete. Over the course of the job, we get deep dives into each and every character and the personal challenges they face. This book is 95% slice-of-life and I am here for it. In the last thirty pages, something major happens but that’s fine. Life can drop disasters on you.

With so much of the story focused on the characters, the real success of this novel is how deep and interesting the characters are. This is a book for the modern age which means we get non-hetero relationships, aliens who practice polyamory, other aliens who go through gender phases and there are many discussions of body autonomy. This is a science fiction book crammed with liberal ideas and once more, I am here for it.

It is no wonder this book won a Hugo. I fell in love with the characters and reading their lives enriched me in ways I struggle to explain. Love and found-family is the core of this book and with so many science-fiction franchises focused on combat and acts of war, it is a welcome change.

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Apr 132022
 

Some of you may be wondering, “Hey Shon, where the fuck is the latest Vaquel story? You haven’t posted one since February! Are you done with Vaquel? Is the twenty year mission ending like this? How much do you suck?”

Well reader, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that back in December when I decided it would be cool to write a year long theme about a hedonistic society that was murdered by their neighbors for bullshit reasons, I didn’t realize that 2022 would be the year that Russia decided to murder their neighbors for bullshit reasons. Reading about war crimes and atrocities sort of took the fun out of whatever I felt the appeal of this theme would be.

At the same time, I was also deep into my next Choose-your-own-erotica book which is coming along quite well. I crossed into an obsession phase where I wanted to spend 98% of my time writing that book. That book became an escape from the real world and a welcome one at that.

The good news is, I am past that obsession point and looking to return to other projects. I have made peace with my similarities to real world tragedy and think I have a way forward in my Vaquel stories. The plan is that once I get rolling, to publish two Vaquel stories a month until I catch up and can go back to once-a-month publishing.

Thank you for your patience and rest assured that Vaquel will be back exploring and fucking real soon.

 Update  Comments Off on Update from the Valley of Foxes.
Apr 112022
 

Friend of the blog, Serena Silverlake, has written another installment of her Fantastical filth fantasy series. In La Petite Mort, the adventurers of Pigeon Pie are looking to join an exclusive tournament but need the sponsorship of an important noble to get included. They take on a job from a Necromancer lady to recover her daughter that has been kidnapped by cultists. The problem is that the almost everything about their job is a lie.

Since this is a Silverlake story, that means that there is a lot of sex. Soooo much sex. OMG, is there is a lot of delicious filthy over-the-top sex. It has so much smut that I felt the need to take frequent showers while reading it. Alexa Mountspear might be my favorite fictional sex character and I fucking write sex characters. It is something I could easily get jealous about.

Even more envy worthy is that this book is funny. It reminds me a lot of Terry Pratchett, if Terry Pratchett wrote about minotaurs gangbanging a human woman as part of an attraction at a porn store. It is criminal how equally funny and sexy this book is.

Look, I sometimes feel like I promote Silverlake more than I do my own works and that is because Silverlake writes the books that I crave to read. And I prefer science-fiction to fantasy! The Filth series is the pinnacle of sexy and funny as far as I am concerned. If you enjoy my humorous works, then you will love hers. Go read it.

Apr 012022
 
A fine, well, okay, well, mostly okay crew.

It is well documented that I love almost anything involving pirates. What might be less known is that I am a huge fan of Rhys Darby. Imagine my pure orgasmic delight when I found out that Rhy Darby was in a pirate comedy series produced by Taika Waititi. It is called Our Flag Means Death and is currently airing on HBO.

Rhys plays Stede Bonnet, one of history’s more peculiar pirates. Bonnet was a land-owner who had a midlife crisis so he bought a boat, hired some scum and tried his hand at piracy. It is a ludicrous idea, one perfectly suited for Waititi’s approach to comedy. Laugh at the idea of a Captain bringing a library of books onto a wooden ship and then laugh harder when you realize that the real Bonnet actually did that.

More interesting to me is how much representation is in this series. They have gay pirates that and a major story line revolves around it! There is a bit of cross-dressing. We have some odd people who may be on the spectrum. There is an entire episode of how terrible the Europeans were for the native people. There are pirates of different races rather than the lily white folk we see in too much pirate fiction.

I like the show a lot. It is funny but it carries a lot of heart. Bonnet is an idiot but more importantly, he’s a nice guy just trying to find his happiness. That is a relevant concept in any age and maybe more so today.

Mar 302022
 

Fucktoy was bent over on the kitchen island. The counter was cold against her bare breasts. The corset around her waist held her in a tight hug. A black hood over her face shrouded her in darkness. The thigh-high leather boots arched her feet and presented her ass for Master.

If Master was even looking at her. It was Wings Day; that one day of the month that Master deep-fried chicken wings and French fries without a care for his diet. Master made all the preparations himself. He marinated the wings, prepared the oil and arranged the cooling racks according to his own system.

He didn’t need, nor want, Fucktoy’s help when it came to cooking. Fucktoy had other uses.

She waited in the kitchen. Her hands were bound behind her back with oven twine. The black gloves she wore kept the twine from cutting into her wrists but they were still tight. She kept her cheek pressed to the counter and resisted the urge to fidget.

It wasn’t easy. She knew what was coming. Her pussy was dripping in anticipation.

There was a loud crackling sound. Fucktoy’s buttocks clenched. It was the fries being dropped into a cast-iron pot boiling with hot canola out. The fries took the longest to cook.

Fucktoy moaned. It would be any moment now. She thought she heard the beep of a timer being started.

A moment later, something flat pressed against Fucktoy’s ass. She knew what it was. The flat object rubbed against her ass in lazy circles, sensitizing her for what was to come.

A whimper escaped Fucktoy’s tight lips.

WHAP! A The wooden spoon slapped against her ass. The hard wood stung like few toys did.

WHAP! WHAP! WHAP! Master spanked her ass with the spoon. He was in a good mood which meant he was especially cruel today. The spoon stung the sides of her ass and sometimes the top of her thighs. It was a fast barrage of stinging bites that avoided the rounder, more padded parts of her ass.

Fucktoy whimpered. Tears sprung to her eyes under the hood. She clenched her ass and fought the urge to stand.

The spanking stopped. Fucktoy almost didn’t notice. She winced from a hit that never came. The hot stings on her ass and thighs lingered.

Another crackling sound. That would be the wings going into another pot. The thunder of twin pots filled the kitchen.

A moment later, a hand touched Fucktoy’s hips. She stayed perfectly still as Master guided his cock between Fucktoy’s thighs and up into her wet cunt. Only when his full length slid into her did she squeeze her spanked ass in front of him.

Master grabbed Fucktoy’s ponytail. He wrapped her long hair around his hand and then pulled. Fucktoy’s head was jerked painfully back and she clenched harder around his cock.

The twin pots continued to boil furiously. Master began fucked her. Short, hard thrusts into her soaking wet pussy. He moved at a leisurely pace as he pounded his toy in the kitchen.

Fucktoy sunk into her body. She was aware of her heavy breasts grinding against the counter. The marks he made on her ass and thighs burned with their own heat. The tugging of her hair sent delicious sensations through her scalp.

Most of all, she aware of her Master’s dick filling her aching cunt.

Too soon, a beeper sounded. Master pulled out of Fucktoy without hesitation. Her head was released and she rested her hood-covered forehead on the counter.

The beeping stopped. Fucktoy knew what Master was doing. He was fishing out the wings and giving them a moment to rest. Soon, they would go back into the fryer for a second fry. How soon, was hard to tell.

Suddenly, there were hands on the back of Fucktoy’s thighs. Master spread her legs apart and then a mouth touched her sex. A hungry tongue parted her folds.

“Yes!” Fucktoy cried out. Electricity flowed through her pussy from her Master’s tongue. He had never done this before on Wing’s Day!

Master ate her pussy. The crackling of the fry pot drowned out the slurping sounds of Master’s mouth. Strong fingers dug into her thighs as a tongue lashed deep within her.

She was going to come. The shock of Master’s mouth was going to push her over the edge. All she needed was a few more licks.

And then Master was gone. There were no more hands on her thighs, no more hot breath on her pussy lips and no more tongue inside her. The sweet gift was over.

Loud crackling came from the stove. The wings were being returned to the pot. Another timer was being set.

Hands pressed against the outside of Fucktoy’s thighs. She brought her legs together, a little confused. The hands held her legs together as something hard and slippery pushed between them.

It was Master’s cock. It was slick with lube and a few inches below Fucktoy’s pussy. The hands slapped her outer thighs with a quick double -tap, Master’s signal for her to hold a pose.

Fucktoy obeyed. She kept her legs tight tighter around Master’s cock. He grabbed her ponytail once more and pulled her head back.

Master fucked her thighs. It was unbearably cruel. Fucktoy’s pussy was neglected and leaking desire.

Fucktoy bit her lip. She was allowed to beg. Master was very clear about that. What she wasn’t allowed to do was whine and that was a problem. Right now, Fucktoy wasn’t sure what sound would come from her mouth.

Master’s belly slapped against Fucktoy’s spanked ass. The angry welts on her skin stung with protest. She didn’t have the euphoria of her pussy being fucked to counter the pain.

He pulled harder on Fucktoy’s ponytail. The thrusts into her thighs picked up speed. A hand pressed down on the back of her corset.

Fucktoy knew what this meant. He was close. Master was going to come between her legs and deny her cunt his sweet come.

There was only one thing Fucktoy could do. She clenched her thighs together to make the bast damn sleeve that she could for her Master’s cock.

He came. Hot seed splattered against the kitchen island and onto Fucktoy’s thighs and boots. Master pulled harder on her ponytail and her back arched as much as the corset would allow.

The timer beeped. Master laughed and pulled out from between her thighs. He paused to wipe his cock on the crack of her ass before returning to the stove. It was time to pull the wings and fries out to let them cool before eating.

Fucktoy stayed on the counter, waiting for Master’s permission to begin cleaning the mess he made.

Mar 282022
 
I bet people will be mass-producing versions of this badge.

Right as the pandemic gets in full swing, Jamie Grey is fired from his job at a startup under shitty circumstances. Desperation forces him to deliver meals to make ends meet. fortunately for him, a chance encounter gets him a job that requires him to “lift things” but it pays a hell of a lot more.

That is the premise for the novel, Kaiju Preservation Society, by John Scalzi. Part “Oh dear God, the Pandemic sucked” and part “fuck it, let’s nerd out on the science behind giant monsters and the struggles it would involve to study them.” This book is a fun exercise of world-building as well as easy going banter between Jamie and his coworkers. It reminds of the glory days of role-playing games when you would hang out with your best friends and solve ridiculous problems together.

The actual monsters exist on an alternate reality, which means we get an entire biosphere to explore and speculate on, especially when it comes to the cube-square law that makes most giant monster impossible. Having another world to play with means we can have monsters the size of mountains flying the skies and crashing into each other without worrying about entire cities being destroyed. It is Jurassic Park without the horrific causalities.

I don’t want to give the wrong impression that it is all fun and games in this book. There is danger and some people die and yes, we even get a nasty villain. Every good adventure needs a bit of darkness and this book delivers. What I do want to get across is this book felt like a summer popcorn movie and almost a vacation from the troubles of the real world. For that reason alone, I highly reccomend it.

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Mar 232022
 

Available Job:

Temporary Placement to Counter Employee shortage.
Location: Matriarchs You Get to Fuck B-Deck.
Species Required: Human female, Vitari female or Jeline Female.
Other Requirements: Sex Labor Guild Certification. Vussy or Vussy Facsimile, Beta Class Breasts or greater. Level Two Roleplay Rating.
Duration of Assignment: Six Hours
Payment: Ninety-five credits per hour. (Minus Sex Labor Guild Fees).

Click Here to Accept Assignment.

It was dark inside the suite. A dim light emitted from a flickering projector onto the bed. The darkness helped hide the low quality of the décor on the walls that were supposed to imitate a Matriarch’s Breeding Quarters. If a real Matriarch ever lived in quarters like these, she would probably commit bankruptcy-suicide.

In the center of the bed, Dazanna slid up and down the client’s dock. She moved slowly, enjoying the feeling of the four separate ridges that encircled his member. Each ridge pushed inside her like a thick knot.

“Good boy,” Dazanna moaned. “Your Matriarch is very proud of you.”

The client groaned beneath her. He was a Clett, a humanoid race that had a strict Matriarchal family system. When a Clett Matriarch gives birth, she sells the male children of her litter on the Birth Market and the children are snatched up by Matriarchs experiencing family shortages. The Clett boys are then raised by the new family to become productive members earning money for their family. If they do well, exceedingly well, then a Matriarch may deign to engage in sexual intercourse with the lucky male. The average Clett will die a virgin.

Some lucky Clett, like the one inside Dazanna right now, will travel the galaxy and come across a place like Pleasure Station Sigma that has facilities willing to cater to a Clett’s needs. Even then, that lucky Clett won’t just fuck like a normal being. No, he will still follow the rules of Clett intercourse; which is lying on his back and keeping his hands at his side. That is just how his race does things, even with a Matriarch substitute like Dazanna.

Dazanna sighed. This was a lovely dock inside her. It was a crime to think this might be the only time it will be inside a vussy.

“You are so beautiful, Matriarch,” the client said.

Dazanna had her doubts about that. The Clett had pasty white skin and Dazanna had more of a cream complexion. Matriarchs develop complex tableaus of moles and Dazanna was wearing a mere dozen fake moles around her full tits. To complete the look, her long blue hair was tucked under a very unconvincing bald cap. All in all, Dazanna figured she made for a rather plain Matriarch.

But Dazanna was costumed as a Matriarch that the Clett actually got to penetrate, and that probably counted for a lot.

“I am very impressed with your credits earned by hour-cycle,” Dazanna said, engaging in normal Clett dirty talk.

“It is all for you, Matriarch,” the client said.

“And I am very aroused by your acquisition to selling ratio,” Dazanna purred. She leaned forward and let her heavy breasts dangle above the client. As the client gasped, she increased the pace of her humping.

“Sweet surplus.” The client groaned. He was close.

Dazanna was close as well. She said the words that were pure sex to a Clett male.

“Deposit your superior seed and breed your Matriarch,” she whispered.

The client cried out. The ridged cock spasmed and released a thick load of tingling seed inside Dazanna. In the throes of orgasm, he forgot himself and grabbed her thighs. Strong hands squeezed for tender care.

The tingling seed flowed inside Dazanna and sent her over the edge. She cried out her own orgasm and grabbed one of his hands in a very un-Matriarch gesture. They held onto each other’s hands as they rode out their pleasure.

Neither the client, or his pseudo-Matriarch, complained.