May 262023

Twin Moon Pictures Presents is a series of articles designed to give you things to use in horror games based in the 1970’s. Although the articles will be written for They Came From Beyond the Grave RPG, the articles should be system neutral enough for your own 1970’s era games or stories. This article uses the Bigfoot monster from the Monsters from the Crypt supplement from Onyx Path Publishing.

Bigfoot is a gentle giant who hangs out in deep forests and wild places. What people don’t understand is that Bigfoots are a manifestation of the forest itself created to protect itself. A Bigfoot steps out of the bush and does their mysterious business and then disappears back into the shadows. Sometimes they helps lost children or stop people about to start a forest fire but for the most part, they are gentle enigmas.

A year ago, Belgium Mold infected several trees and bushes located in Whitnall Park in Milwaukee. Park authorities cleared these infected plants but needed to fill in the barren stretch of land. They imported trees from a nearby state park and replanted them in Whitnall.

Unfortunately, these trees were part of a mystical forest protected by a Bigfoot. The magic in these trees attempted to manifest a Bigfoot for Whitnall park but something failed. Maybe it was the frequent trash or the presence of radio and television waves in the air that disrupted the magic. Heck, it might have been THE DEVIL HIMSELF! For whatever reason, the Bigfoot that manifested came out wrong. He’s mean, his hair falls off like he has mange, and he’s taking it out on any damn person he encounters.

Another sign of the magical disruption is the presence of blood red dandelions. These bright red weeds defy are unknown to modern science, though a Mystic may be able to identify them. They grow around the transplanted trees, which might be useful for the Heroes to discover.

The first attack will be a pair of park goers found dead on a trail. The bodies are ripped apart by someone with amazing strength. The woman will have a bunch of the red dandelions in her purse. A big ass footprint might stand out in the blood. On a tree, about seven feet up, will be a crater where the Bigfoot smashed the man’s face into the tree.

There will be a new attack everyday. The Bigfoot barely needs a reason. Urinating on a tree, leaving trash, or making out behind a bush could be a reason for the Bigfoot to attack.

If the Heroes ever gather any dandelions and remove them from the park, feel free to throw the Bigfoot at them. Bonus points if the Bigfoot inexplicably attacks them in the city at a dramatic moment. Don’t let logic restrain you. This is a corrupted creature, unbound by the laws of nature or physics. Let it manifest out of a closet if it freaks the Heroes out.

Once there is an eyewitness, the police will be on the lookout for hairy people. They may well bring in the Heroes for questioning. Any attempts to blame a Bigfoot will fail.

There are three possible solutions.

Balancing Ritual – The Heroes can perform a ritual that brings the area back with Nature. An appropriate NPC can inform the Heroes of the ritual and step them through it.

The ritual involves taking a strange mushroom while the NPC chants. Every Hero that takes a mushroom turns into a Bigfoot. They gain the full stats and abilities of a Bigfoot along with their normal minds. They must then hunt down the Evil Bigfoot and destroy it.

When the Evil Bigfoot is destroyed, the forest will try to convert the Heroes into a Bigfoot. Each Hero gets two rolls of the most appropriate type to retain their humanity. If they fail, their character becomes the new NPC protectors of the area. The red dandelions will disappear.

Killing – The Heroes can destroy the Bigfoot physically. Good luck with hunting one of the most elusive creatures on Earth. Once the Bigfoot is dead, the forest will create a new Bigfoot, one in balance with the area, almost immediately. This Bigfoot will not attack the Heroes. The red dandelions will disappear.

Destroy the Transplanted Plants – This enrages the Bigfoot and will induce an attack. Fire or poison might be your best bet, both of which are pretty serious crimes if the Heroes are caught. If the Hero succeeds in destroying the plants, no Bigfoots will manifest in the future. The closing scene should be the character most connected with nature shedding a single tear.

May 252023

FantasticLand:A Novel is a 2016 novel by Mike Bockoven. It explores what happens when Hurricane Sadie smashes into an amusement park named FantasticLand and manned by a skeleton crew of three hundred some odd employees. The park gets cut off from the rest of the world and shit goes downhill fast. People split into tribes and open warfare breaks despite every side having plenty of food, water and shelter. In the end, the National Guard arrive and gets everyone out. It is up to the public and the lawyers to figure out what really happened.

If you ever went to Disney World and wondered who would win in a fight between the employees of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride and the employees from Epcot, then this book is for you.

It is a very compelling book but then again, I love disaster stories. Back in 1999, I lived through the “Flood of the Century” in North Carolina and my community was without power for weeks and cut off from the rest of the state. It was a stressful time that has been burned into my mind but also gave me an intense interest in seeing how other people handle disasters. I also love watching things break down and I love watching plans run straight into the brick wall of reality. So really, this book was made for me.

The secret sauce that makes this book work is that it is presented as a series of interviews with the survivors of the disaster. That means we only get to hear the accounts of those who lived, and they have very strong reasons to either lie to the interviewer or to themselves. It is a gold mine of unreliable narrators and I am already looking forward to re-reading it to see what lies I pick out.

It is a brutal book with some brutal scenes, but I think the interview style helps distance the horror and paradoxically, make it more intimate. Imagine the worse scene you ever saw in a horror movie, and imagine that being told to you second hand. You end up paying less attention to the grisly details and pay more attention to the impact it had on the person who watched or experienced it.

Another great part of the book are the mysteries. Some characters go missing and their bodies are never found. There are two psychos dressed as Warthogs who terrorize everyone and no one discovers their identities. The actual crimes committed are still in question. The interviewed people can’t be trusted and the documentation is scarce. This uncertainty means folk will have plenty to debate and speculate on for a long time to come.

This book is going to be with me for a long time.

May 242023

Karl: Get your guns, we got a job. There is a twenty million bounty out on John Wick and he’s in town tonight.

Petro: John Wick? The Baba Yaga? That guy?

Karl: Yeah, go get your shit. He’s headed downtown and we can ambush him. Bam, bam, easy money.

Petro: Easy money? The guy who killed every goddamn assassin, bodyguard and work-for-hire gang member in New York city in a single night is easy money?

Karl: Well, it won’t be easy, I’m not going to lie. We’re probably going to get shot at but come one, he’s just one guy.

Petro: Didn’t he kill Big Stan in Madrid?

Karl: Yeah, he shot him.

Petro: And Fast Fred like a minute later?

Karl: Yeah, he cut his head off with Big Stan’s ax.

Petro: As then he used Fast Fred’s severed head to kill Tattoo Bob?

Karl: Yeah, that was pretty fucked up. Look, what’s your point?

Petro: My point is that I don’t think you and me are going to be the ones to stop John Wick. It is going to take some sort of super assassin, maybe a guy who’s blind and got Daredevil powers or some long lost secret brother with a one of a kind special sword. No, we ain’t special like that.

Karl: What are we supposed to do? Sit here like a pussy?

Petro: Think about it. John Wick is going to John Wick all over the place tonight and there is going to be a lot of people getting Wick-ed. Tomorrow, John Wick is going to go somewhere else and Wick that place up but here, in this city, people are still going to need tough guys with guns and there is going to be a hell of a labor shortage.

Karl: (Long pause) So, we should order pit some wings in the air fryer and sit tight?

Petro: Now you get it.

May 232023
Lovely cover that sadly doesn’t reflect the story at all.

The Order by Nadine Somers is an erotic book written in 2000. It suffers from an incredibly forgettable title for such an interesting book. This story is about a secret society trying to bring about a new age of uncontrollable lust using the power of an imprisoned Goddess. Two agents of a secret service dedicated to fighting the Occult is trying to stop them but I got to tell you, the two heroes spend more time getting fucked and used than they do getting any investigations done. It looks bleak for the world.

I simply adored this book. Over half of the book is about the villains led by the beautiful and wicked Countessa de Diablo. The Countessa is a magical dominatrix who sits on a living throne of fucking people. She is cruel and attended to by capable small army of sadists and masochists. We watch the bad guys fuck, dominate and humiliate everyone who stands in their way. This is one of those books that celebrates the villains.

The heroes are interesting as well. Tamara is the older, smarter agent and Max is the new recruit who is struggling to make sense of it all. Max gets dominated a lot, both by Tamara and the bad guys. He is a likable submissive male hero who is not a pushover.. I like the heroes but they are definitely minor characters here.

Thankfully, the book is self contained. The ending ties up all loose ends. Sadly, there doesn’t appear to be a sequel which is a shame. This book is wall to wall magical domination and it deserves a hundred sequels.

May 222023

Spring has struck and with it is a swarm of pollen. My wife is outside planting, watering and doing Stardew Valley things but in REAL LIFE. I am very happy for her even though when I go outside it is followed by sneezing fits.

I have been staying inside and working on smut for you, dear reader. Here is an update on my projects.

My Untitled BDSM Romance/Adventure novel is coming along nicely. I am currently writing the final chapter and final sex scene. It is very exciting. This is a story idea I have had for years and started a few times but could never hammer out the plot to something I like. That is no longer a problem and I like it a lot. It occurs to me that I really need to come up with a title so I can get started commissioning a cover.

My Untitled Demon List Book has been on pause. Each demon entry is its own little short story and I decided to put it on hold to focus more on the BDSM Romance Novel. Once I finish this first draft, I will be able to go back to adding entries to the demon list every other day. I am looking forward to going back to it.

Third, I have the next book in the Nymphopocalypse series, Escape From the City! I have begun outlining the choices and I am working very hard to keep it tight, interesting and not a million pages. Since this book takes place across a single city in the Midwest, it will be more wide open than the claustrophobic office building of the last book.

Finally, we come to the blog. With Twitter dying a slow twitching death, I am spending less time there. I still want to share my opinions on everything because I am that vain so I am toying with daily blog posts. It might require me to go into a more journalistic mode but that might be fun. I’m curious what you think.

As always, I appreciate you taking the time to read this and I hope you have an amazing day.

May 082023
I will admit this is one heck of a good cover.

I am always curious about erotic book series. So much of erotica is made to be disposable and generic so it appeals to everyone. When a book gets a sequel, there is a sense that the publisher has a bit more faith in this book than others. Or maybe this story is just so damn good that it demands a sequel.

At least, that is what I used to assume. Now I understand that a sequel usually comes about because the author wants to re-use previous characters or continue a successful premise. Or the series is part of a brand where different authors share a pseudonym and crank out sexual exploits.

Which brings us to Jennifer: Book One by that prolific they/them, Anonymous. It is published by Richard Gallen and Company in 1982 and it definitely falls in the “branding” class of erotica. The back cover is full of bombast as it declares “Introducing the most sexually adventurous heroine in contemporary fiction!”

So what is the book about? Well, Jennifer is a beautiful and successful photographer who is in high demand among fashion magazines and newspapers. She laments that men today are too sensitive and in touch with their feelings. Fortunately, a hot billionaire agrees with her and wants to put out a new magazine for men that teaches them how to be sexually confident again. Jennifer is assigned to meet with her former lovers and write about what real mean used to be like.

The fact that this was written in 1982 is hilarious to me. But today’s standards, early 80’s men were barely civilized and had no concept of consent. One of the male characters used to be a college professor who banged his students but now that women are too intellectual about their needs, he has turned to banging young men instead. Yes, the sexual revolution turned this man gay.

Not all men have turned gay though. The second lover has gone the other direction and is a pimp with six harem wives. A third male is still manly but also shares his women with his assistant and best friend. The billionaire, of course, is so damn manly that he fucks Jennifer better than anyone and her sister.

Did I mention that Jennifer has an equally hot twin sister? The twin is a part-time romantic rival for the billionaire and there is some dodgy threesome sex between them all, but for the most part, this is a story about Jennifer and what’s wrong with men today. The twin is an odd addition to the book and I find myself wondering why a series about “the most sexually adventurous heroine,” has a character that is in all ways, just as sexually adventurous. Then again, maybe anonymous just likes threesomes.

Eight books were promised on the back of the very first book and by the Goddess, they got all eight books out. The plots and sex are better written than a lot of 80’s porn but the gender politics are laughable. The book suffers from another 80’s trait of being enamored with the rich and mistaking money for competency. On the whole, I doubt I will be reading any more of the series.

May 032023

Explorer’s Log: I am on day two of my twenty-six day journey to the star system designated “Inevitable Climax From the Queen’s Attention” by Royal Astronomers. The cosmic ray radiation in this part of space is still playing havoc with the sensors. Some of my scans are just pure gibberish.

I am still compiling the data I gathered from the last planet I was on. The mutations I witnessed among the Crail were on a power scale I have not seen in a biological being. It might take the Royal Science Institute centuries to create a counter-measure for these beings, so the sooner I finish these reports, the better. End Explorer’s Log.

Explorer’s Personal Log: It has been only been two days since leaving the Paladin Brigade and I miss them already. They may have been psychotically unselfish and heroic, but they sure knew how to fuck.

Vaquel Di sat on Chairbot and stared at the biological data on the screen. A skintight red spacesuit clung to her body. Short pink hair crowned a frowning face. Brown cheeks bulged as she idly ran her tongue inside her mouth.

Chairbot hummed beneath Vaquel. Low vibrations pulsed through his seat, gently massaging her curvy ass. Miniature force fields subtly pinched Vaquel’s ass in a pleasing rhythm.

“Fuck, how the hell does a single humanoid body generate enough electrical power to power a starship?” Vaquel said. “The more I study these beings, the more I think the Queen should avoid the fuck out of them.”

BOOM! The ship shook from a sudden impact. Vaquel was nearly thrown from Chairbot but a mini-tractor beam kept her ass in his seat.


“ALERT! Identified Vessel Attacking!” the ship’s computer shouted.

Chairbot wheeled Vaquel from the science console to the navigational console faster than she could have walked. A tactical hologram appeared, depicting a large spaceship with smooth lines, multiple weapon ports and strange energy that arced from two coils located in the rear. It was coming back for another attack run.

She knew this ship. It belonged to a bounty hunter sent from some tyrant dozens of star systems back. What was that Tyrant’s name? Shit, what was the bounty hunter’s name? It had been a year since she had seen him. No, it was two years. What the fuck was he doing still chasing her?

A damage report scrolling across the screen. Shields were barely holding. Main weapons were offline. One of the solar sails was shredded. There no harm at all to the habitation module.

“Of course, not,” Vaquel whispered. “The fucker still needs to bring me back alive.”

“What should we do, Mistress?” Chairbot said.

BOOM! The ship shook again. The shield matrix collapsed.

“That’s not good,” Vaquel said.

There was a humming sound behind Vaquel. She spun in Chairbot’s seat and saw a swirling blue circle appear in the air. That circle was familiar too. It looked like a smaller version of the wormhole that the Glister used. What the fuck was that doing here?

The swirling circle dropped down two meters, sheering half of the science console as it dropped. The wormhole went into the floor and then vanished. There was a perfect circle-shaped hole in the floor.

“Queen’s tit!” Vaquel said, jumping out of her seat. “The fucker has wormhole tech?”

Another wormhole appeared, two meters closer. It appeared in the ceiling and dropped down to the floor. There were now two more holes.

“Hull integrity is intact, Mistress” Chairbot said.

“The fucker is going fishing,” Vaquel said. “He is probably trying to snag me.”

A blue swirl appeared above Vaquel. She dived forward as Chairbot rolled backwards. The wormhole dropped down and vanished, leaving another hole in the floor.

Vaquel’s mind raced. The probe ship was immobile. Weapons were likely offline. The asshole was going to get her sooner than later. She needed help and all she had was her intelligent chair.

No, that is not all she had.

Vaquel ran down the interior of the probe ship. Another wormhole dropped from the ceiling and clipped pieces of the floor and ceiling. She ran in a serpentine path, trying to be as unpredictable as possible.

Two more wormholes formed and dropped. Both missed her but one carved out a section of paneling. She hoped that wall didn’t contain anything important.

Vaquel reached the storage locker. She yanked it open and pulled out a small examination bag. Thank the Queen, she hadn’t processed the contents and recycled it yet. She ripped open the bag and pulled out a small device in the shape of a ‘P.’

It was an honorary Paladin Brigade badge. The heroes told her that it also functioned as a communicator. She didn’t understand the science, but their resident genius assured her that it could reach across lightyears of space.

Vaquel pressed down on a button on the badge. “Emergency! This is Vaquel Di and I am under attack. A terrible villain seeks to capture me! I require assistance! Please respond.”

There was humming sound above Vaquel. She rolled to the left as a dropped wormhole barely missed her.

“Chum Vaquel, this is Mind Lever!” a voice replied. “Where are you?”

“About two days travel from your system,” Vaquel said. A wormhole formed above her head and she stepped to the left to avoid it.

“I have a lock on your badge,” Mind Lever replied. “It will take us a kilosecond to reach you. Can you hold on that long?”

Vaquel blinked. Only a kilosecond? Did she hear that right? How the fuck could they get here so fast?

“Yeah, sure,” Vaquel said.

There was another humming sound. This time it came from beneath Vaquel. She looked down at the wormhole below her feet.

“Oh, shit,” Vaquel said.

Vaquel fell into the wormhole, still clutching the Paladin Brigade badge. Blue energies swirled around her. A feeling of intense arousal suffused her body. She was instantly brought to the edge of climax and held there.

Seconds of unconsummated bliss stretched forever.

Vaquel fell out of the wormhole and onto a solid white floor. As soon as she hit the ground, something hard and metallic grabbed her by the throat. Metal hands grabbed each of her wrists. She was lifted into the air as her legs kicked.

A tall humanoid covered in skintight black cloth stood before her. Four mechanical arms extended from a pack on their back. Two of the arms reached from over their shoulders to hold each of her wrists. One of the metal arms from around his waist held her by the throat. A red helmet, devoid of any features, covered their head.

“Quit struggling and surrender,” the alien said. “I am a licensed bounty hunter under the employ of the Prober Supreme! My designated callsign is Obtanius Vergin Purfim Vorq. You have been targeted for specimen collection!”

“I know who you are, asshole!” Vaquel shouted. She kicked at him with her leg but the metal arms held her at a safe distance.

“And I know how many weapons this belt carries,” Obtanius said. The fourth metal arm reached out and grabbed the controls on her belt. Metal fingers clamped down and ripped it from her body.

Vaquel flicked her hand that was holding the Paladin badge. The small communicator flew and landed quietly somewhere out of sight. It was hard to tell with the alien’s helmet, but she didn’t think he saw her.

“There, you are completely neutralized!” Obtanius said. “Finally!”

Vaquel looked around. The interior of the ship was wide open and filled with strange machines. The place resembled a warehouse rather than a space ship. Debris littered the floor and Vaquel recognized pieces of her ship that wormholes had snatched.

“Now it is time to put you into stasis for the journey home,” Obtanius said. “It has been a long hunt but you are finally mine.”

Obtanius turned towards a large glass tube three meters tall. Still holding Vaquel by the throat and wrists, he walked over to the tube. Small jets fired from his back and the two of them lifted into the air. The seal at the top of the tube slid aside.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Vaquel yelled. It had not remotely been a kilosecond. “What’s the hurry? What have you been up? The last time I saw you, umm, you know, I can’t quite remember.”

Obtanius growled behind his helmet. “You don’t remember? We meet on a planet where the cursed species, the Entitled, hunt humanoid clones. You tricked one of them into fighting me and ran off! I was defeated in battle and taken prisoner!”

“Oh yeah,” Vaquel said. She remembered now. The Entitled were nasty little phallic aliens who rode machines to drive their cock-shaped bodies around. They only lived to fuck and dominate.

“Ouch, I bet they fucked you good, didn’t they?” Vaquel said.

Obtanius hovered over the large containment tube. The metal arms brought Vaquel closer to his red helmet. She couldn’t see his face, but malice radiated from him.

“Eighty day cycles to be precise,” Obtanius said. “Eighty day cycles of being fucked and examined as they sought to clone me. I barely escaped with my life and it took me another two-hundred day cycles to return to my ship. I have been trying to catch up with you ever since.”

“Wow, you must really hate me,” Vaquel said.

“Immensely,” Obtanius said. “Fortunately, I found some remarkable wormhole technology that I was able to repurpose for my needs. It is what allowed me to capture you without entering the treacherous space of your ship. Now you are here, helpless and lacking access to any of your deviant trickery. Specimen processing shall now begin!”

“Wait, wait, wait!” Vaquel yelled. “You are just going to drop me into stasis without even taking a small amount of revenge on me?”

“Ha!” Obtanius said. “This is another one of your delaying tactics, you sexual degenerate! I will not fall for it this time! Into the containment unit you go!”

The metal arms lowered Vaquel down towards the tube.

“Why would I be delaying you? You already won! I can’t beat you but you are sabotaging your own victory!”

The metal arms stopped moving. Obtanius towered above her. “Sabotaging myself? Explain!”

“Look, you won, right?” Vaquel asked. “Some alien cock reamed you silly for eighty days and you are just going to tuck me in stasis and deliver me to your boss? You need your revenge! If you don’t avenge yourself on my helpless body, you will experience regret and a lack of closure! The psychological damage will be immense!”

The arms pulled Vaquel away from the containment tube. Obtanius flew down to the floor with his captive. The metal arms forced Vaquel’s hands behind her back and then forced her to her knees. Thankfully, the hand around her throat released her.

“You may be right, specimen,” Obtanius said. “But why would you care for my mental well-being?”

“I don’t,” Vaquel said. “But once you put me in stasis, I doubt I will ever wake up from whatever the Prober Supreme has planned for me. I’m a sensation seeker, and if the last sensation I get is taking your vengeance, well it is better than nothing.”

“Your degeneracy never ceases to amaze me,” Obtanius said. “Faced with certain doom, you only care about more stimulation!”

“That’s me,” Vaquel said. “A sexual degenerate that has managed to outsmart you over and over again.”

Obtanius lunged forward. One of his organic hands grabbed Vaquel’s left breast. Angry fingers hooked into the tight red fabric and pulled. A wide swatch of cloth pulled free and her heavy brown breast popped out.

“I have learned of many painful stimulations from my time with the Entitled!” Obtanius yelled. He grabbed the fabric around her right breast and pulled. The fabric ripped from her body and her other breast was exposed.

Vaquel’s pussy clenched with excitement. “Tell me more.”

“This is called crate smashing!” Obtanius yelled He swing downward with his open gloved hand and slapped the side of Vaquel’s left breast. WHAP!

“Fuck!” Vaquel yelled. “Warm me up, first!”

WHAP! Obtanius backhanded her tits. The right breast smashed into the left breast. WHAP! He came back around with another open hand slap that stung her tit and smashed it into her other breast.

WHAP! WHAP! Repeatedly, Obtanius slapped and then backhanded Vaquel’s breasts. Mocking laughter came from behind the smooth red helmet. He picked up speed, knocking Vaquel’s heavy tits back and forth in a constant collision.

Vaquel hissed with each slap. The stinging blows enflamed her sensitive flesh. She tried to lean away from his blows but the metal arms holding her wrists behind her back kept her in place. There was no way to escape the rain of slaps.

“I have thought of these appendages of yours often,” Obtanius said.


“How they bounce and jiggle when you move.”


“They are structurally superfluous and yet I want nothing more than to hold one in my hands.”


“Feel free to hold one now!” Vaquel shouted, eager for a respite from the slapping.

“No,” Obtanius said. “But I will enhance your torment.”

The lower metal arms reached for Vaquel’s breasts. Cruel fingers pinched her nipples. Vaquel cried out as the arms pulled, stretching her breasts forward. She tried to lean into it but the arms holding her wrists pulled back.

“Hydrogen death spark,” Obtanius whispered. “Even with their shape deformed, they are still mesmerizing.”

“Thanks,” Vaquel hissed.

The slapping resumed. WHAP! With her nipples pinched and her tits stretched out, the intensity of the slaps were twice as strong. The stinging pain blossomed into bursts of agony.

Vaquel whimpered. The bounty hunter had learned some new tricks. She was helpless and his slapping hand was utterly without mercy. Tears sprang to her eyes. She was almost tempted to beg for mercy but then he might oblige her and put her into the stasis chamber. No, she had to hold out.


How much longer until the kilosecond expired? It felt like a dozen had passed. That was even assuming that the Paladin Brigade could get here that fast. They weren’t a species that travelled through space. Why were they so confident that could be here so soon?


Vaquel’s pussy was wetter than an ocean world. Each slap and backhand send a lightning bolt of pain through her stretched tits that went all the way to her greedy cunt. It made it awfully hard to keep track of how much time had passed. If she could just get one finger onto her pussy, then she could counter some of this pain with much needed bliss.

“I see your pelvis is gyrating,” Obtanius sneered. “You are no doubt aroused by the painful stimulation of your mammary sacks.”

“And don’t forget the humiliation of being captured and helpless,” Vaquel said.

Both lower metal arms released her nipples. Vaquel sighed as the painful pinching came to an end and then winced as blood flow returned to her tender nipples. The sigh turned into a gasp as the metal hands went straight to her crotch and ripped away the cloth. Vaquel’s bare pussy dripped onto the floor.

The lower metal hands went to Vaquel’s underarms and lifted her from the floor. She ascended until Obtanius’ helmet was level with her pussy. A gloved hand traced the contours of her pussy. She tried to grind against his hand but he wouldn’t give her the satisfaction.

“You have deforested yourself,” Obtanius said. “I have long been haunted by the pink hairs that covered this orifice but I find your bare lips to be even more disturbing. One can see the moisture clinging to your vaginal lips.”

“Just wait until you see how it feels when you are inside it,” Vaquel said, undulating towards him.

“You would like that,” Obtanius said. “No, I refuse to give you the pleasure you desire. I will not stimulate your vaginal orifice or your oral orifice. I have seen how much pleasure you derive from both.”

“That might be the sexiest thing you have ever said,” Vaquel said.

“However, my imprisonment with the Entitled has taught me that there is a third orifice that will give me pleasure to stimulate but will deprive you of any sexual satisfaction.”

“Really?” Vaquel said. She was intrigued.

The metal arms spun Vaquel around to face away from the bounty hunter. Gloved hands ripped the spacesuit from her ass. It took a lot of ripping because there was a lot of brown ass to expose.

“Yes, your anal orifice!” Obtanius said.

Vaquel started to laugh but stopped herself. The alien was sincere. He thought fucking her ass would be unpleasant for her.

“Oh no!” Vaquel said. “Please don’t fuck my ass!”

It was an act of supreme self-control for Vaquel not to wiggle her butt.

“Prepare for anal violation, specimen!” Obtanius announced.

Vaquel shuddered.

The metal arms lowered Vaquel closer to the ground. Her feet touched the floor and the arms holding her underarms shifted to her ankles. Metal hands forced her legs apart at a severe distance. The hands holding her wrists pulled back and extended her arms at a painful angle. With her arms controlled, the metal hands forced Vaquel to bend over at the waist.

Vaquel clamped her mouth shut to keep from moaning. Desire dripped from her pussy and onto the floor. Her slapped tits dangled in front of her.

Gloved hands spread apart Vaquel’s buttocks. Something wet, hot and slippery sprayed her asshole. A thumb rubbed the lubricant into her tight ring.

“You are shuddering with fear, specimen!” Obtanius declared.

Vaquel didn’t trust herself to answer out loud.

Something thick and pulsing pressed against Vaquel’s asshole. She barely had a chance to relax before it pushed into her tight sphincter. The thick phallus invaded her intimate space and slid deep inside her.

“Queen’s tit,” Vaquel swore. He was bigger than she remembered. Parts of his cock vibrated. She had forgotten that his member was cybernetically enhanced. There was no forgetting it now as the vibrations grew stronger.

“Yes, this orifice is quite pleasing,” Obtanius groaned. “And what’s more exquisite is that you feel no pleasure at all!”

Vaquel gasped and then clenched her mouth shut again.

“No sarcastic quips now, specimen?” Obtanius gloated.

Vaquel shook her head and fought the urge to push back on his cock.

“Your silence is my victory!” Obtanius yelled.

The bounty hunter held onto her buttocks with his gloved hands and began to fuck her. Precise, almost robotic thrusts pushed deep into Vaquel’s ass. It was a tight fit and Vaquel felt like she was taking an entire starship up her butt.

Vaquel was helpless in the alien’s metal arms. Her arms hurt from the constant tension and her tender tits bounced together with each thrust. She couldn’t reach her dripping pussy which made the hunger she felt between her thighs all the greater.

It was glorious.

“Every insertion into your anal orifice is a denial of your degenerate needs!” Obtanius gloated.

Vaquel whimpered.

“Every vibrating pulse in your ass is a vibrating pulse your vaginal orifice will not feel!” Obtanius shouted.

Vaquel shuddered with near-orgasmic delight.

“Every forceful violation of your posterior orifice is a declaration of my victory over you!” Obtanius growled.

“Oh fuck,” Vaquel moaned. Why did the alien bounty hunter have to talk so dirty? She was trying her best to no react but his verbal humiliation of her was so damn sexy. Worse, the vibrations from his cybernetic cock were so powerful that they were penetrating her sex. The asshole might actually make her come.

“Prepare for more pain, specimen!” Obtanius declared.

The cybernetic phallus expanded. It was only a slight increase in girth but it was enough to make Vaquel shout with pleasure. The vibrations increased as well, radiating bliss through her body.

“Ohhhhhhhh fuuuuuuuuck,” Vaquel shouted, unable to control herself.

“That sounded suspiciously like pleasure,” Obtanius said. He stopped fucking, his cock still vibrating in her ass.

“No,” Vaquel gasped. She struggled to think. “I am just, uh, cursing my pathetic state and your, uh, superiority.”

Vaquel could hear how terribly unconvincing she sounded. The ruse was up. The alien would have to be completely unaware of humanoid sexual relationships to believe that lie.

Obtanius laughed. “I enjoy your statement of my superiority. Almost as much as I enjoy violating this orifice!”

The alien resumed fucking Vaquel’s ass. He fucked her harder than before as his ego swelled with pride. The vibrations from the cock doubled in intensity.

Vaquel felt her climax coming and she almost didn’t believe it but she shouted her joy as it crashed into her body.

“GLORY TO THE QUEEN!” she shouted, forgetting all pretense at lying.

“Hydrogen death spark!” Obtanius shouted. His cock expelled a thick volume of alien seed within her. There was too much for her ass to contain and it back flowed onto Obtanius’ cock.

BOOM! Something hard hit the ship.

“What despicable trickery is this?” Obtanius shouted.

The arms holding Vaquel suddenly released her. She dropped down to the floor, first onto her knees and then onto her slapped tits. More seed popped out of her ass.

Metal ripped loudly. A red fist punched through a wall. It was followed by a being that appeared to be covered in red overlapping bricks. A small mask covered its mouth. Three white eyes locked in on Obtanius.

“Brick!” Vaquel shouted. The Paladin Brigade was here!

“ITS PUMMELING TIME!” Brick shouted as he charged forward.

More beings followed through the hole. There was an orange woman crackling with electricity. A humanoid covered in shiny metal armor flew into the room and fired laser beams from his shoulders. Another orange humanoid followed behind in a floating chair, their head four times the size of their body.

“No! You will not take my prey from me!” Obtanuis said. “Leave now or I will bring you all back to the Prob- CLANG!”

Obtanius’ threat was silenced by Brick fisting his face. The bounty hunter flew through the air and crashed into strange machinery. The armored humanoid flew after him, pelting him with laser blasts.

The electric alien landed near Vaquel. Triple breasts bounced under her spandex as she moved. An environmental helmet covered her face but Vaquel recognized her friend, Sparkera.

“Are you okay, Chum Vaquel?” the alien asked. “Dual Brain bashed together a space ship in his laboratory as fast as he could but we feared we might be too late.”

“I’m great, Sparkera,” Vaquel said, slowly rising to her hands and knees. “Just give me a moment to feel my legs again. Wait, you guys made a space ship to come get me? And you got here in a kilosecond?”

“I’m sorry it took that long,” Sparkera said, oblivious to Vaquel’s disbelief. “What did this villain do to you?”

“Oh, the usual,” Vaquel said. “He attacked me for no reason, damaged my ship, slapped my tits and then fucked me ass.”

“That monster!” Sparkera said. “Brick, hit him hard for me!”

“WILL DO, SPARKY!” Brick said.

The jackhammer sounds of brick hitting a metal helmet echoed through the ship.

“Chum Vaquel, do you want us to take this villain back to our world and hold him in one of our super-prisons?” Sparkera asked.

“That sounds great, actually,” Vaquel said. She rose to her feet. More seed dripped out of her ass. “This asshole has been bothering me for years. How long will you keep him prisoner?”

“Kidnapping and violating someone is a serious crime,” Sparkera said. “He’s looking at a minimal of twenty years.”

A smile spread across Vaquel’s face. Brick was straddling Obtanius, still raining punches on the bounty hunter’s face. One of Obtanuis’ legs was twitching.

“Hey, wherever you lock him up, make sure he has a picture of me to keep him company,” Vaquel said. “I wouldn’t want him to get lonely.”

“Chum Vaquel, that is awfully kind and generous of you!” Sparkera said.

“It is, isn’t it?” Vaquel said.

May 012023

The next book in the Villain for Hire series by Jay Aury is avaiable for purchase. In this installment, Magneron, the villain with a bunch of henchwomen, is settling into his new evil lair. Some asshole mad genius is trying to capture Magneron’s resident mad genius and hot lamb girl. While Magneron deals with that, he is also mentoring a hot villain chick on her first for-hire act of villainy. At the same time, he is still mentoring the daughter of a very nasty super villain. Wackiness and villainy ensues!

As a long time superhero nerd, I am very impressed with how much thought has gone into the world building. It feels like someone’s longtime superhero RPG campaign and I mean that in a good way. This world exists on its own and while there are plenty of jokes that would apply to two major comic franchises, it never feels like a parody or a homage. This world and the characters stand on their own.

Another thing that impresses me is that this book is a nice juggling of three different elements. There is a lot of superhero action, that is genuinely exciting. There is a lot of comedy that never detracts from the seriousness of the story. Finally, there is hot sex that satisfies the erotica premise, without infecting the rest of the story with porn logic. It is a real feat in how these parts work together without overwhelming each other.

So yeah, Jay Aury has a very special series here that is a must read for anyone who longs for superhero pron outside of big media franchises. You should totally be reading this series as it is only getting better.

Apr 262023

I was in the mood for a movie night so I went to the red box in the living room. Inside was a promotional card from a 1974 movie, a small slice of film from an adult movie, and a roll of old movie tickers. I tore off a ticket from the roll and spoke a word that made my throat hurt.

There was a smell of popcorn. The Usherette stood to my right. She was a blonde today, with short curly hair crowned by a tiny ted box hat. The red jacket she wore was open to expose a red lacy bra that held enormous pale breasts. Gold epaulettes sparked on her shoulders. The ruby lipstick she wore looked wet.

““What would you like to see today, sir?” the Usherette said.

“Maybe a Giallo,” I said. “Something with gloved murders, gorgeous lighting and pretty woman with thick long hair.”

“I know just the movie,” the Usherette said. “Your ticket please?”

I handed her the ticket. She placed the yellow paper on her lip and then sharp teeth bit down. As she handed me back my half of the ticket, while her tongue stretched out to hold the other half. This she removed from her tongue and stuffed into the cup of a bra.

“Please take your seat and enjoy the show,” the Usherette said.

I walked to my couch and sat down. The Usherette walked to where my television hung on the mantle. Red heels lifted her fishnet-covered legs and I saw the underside of her bare ass peeking out from under her jacket. She waved a hand and the television, mantle and lamps disappeared. In its place was a white screen bordered by red curtains.

The Usherette knelt beside me. Her jacket was gone and so was her bra. A red tray hovered in front of her. It was supported by gold chains that connected her pierced nipples to the outer corners of the tray. The nipples stretched in a delightfully painful looking fashion. Despite the weight of the tray, her tits were still pert.

“Please help yourself to a concession,” the Usherette said.

There was a tub of popcorn, perfectly salted and buttered. A selection of my favorite candy filled one side. Two giant cups held my two preferred sodas. Three hot dogs, still steaming and covered in my favorite condiments, sat in fresh buns.

I took the hot dog and the cup holding my orange soda. The Usherette stood, wincing as the tray pulled on her nipples. Gingerly, she sat down on the couch beside me.

There was the clicking of a film projector, even though there was nothing behind me but a wall. The lights dimmed in the living room. A red exit sign glowed over the entrance to the hallway.

Trailers for movies I hadn’t heard of played on the screen. I ate my hot dog. When I was done, I reached and took the tub of popcorn from her tray.

She sighed as the weight was removed from the tray.

The movie started. I hadn’t seen this one. There was a married woman who was being stalked by a blackmailer. Her friends were being killed by a mystery man and the blood was bright red.

The Usherette placed her hand on my thigh. Sharp nails dug in at tense moments. When characters confessed their fears, her little fingers traced circles on the inside of my thigh.

The married woman had sex with her blackmailer to appease him. The Usherette’s hand moved to my crotch. My cock pulsed under my jeans. Skilled fingers traced the outline of my erection. Sometimes the fingers would clench and I would gasp at the pleasant sensation.

The sex scene ended. The Usherette released my bulge. Her hand went between her legs and she quietly stroked herself. She would shudder and the tray would bounce.

More murders occurred. Italian jazz played as women walked down beautifully light streets. The married woman told her best friend that she thought her husband was behind it all. The best friend told her she was crazy.

I was nearly done with the popcorn. The salt had parched my mouth past the point that soda could help. I needed something else in my mouth.

“Something sweet,” I whispered to the Usherette as I set the empty tub back on her tray.

The Usherette nodded and put her fingers to her lips. Red lips parted and something just as red peeked out. She pulled a long strand of red licorice came from her bottomless throat. She handed the candy to me.

It tasted like cherries.

The movie was reaching the end. The Usherette’s hand went back to my thigh. The wife was cornered by the blackmailer in her house. The best friend and the husband arrived. All three had been working together. The blackmailer was a lover of the best friend. It had all been a plot to drive the wife to suicide but she was taking too long. Now they would just kill her.

Sharp nails dig into my jeans. The wife fights back in a rage. She kills the best friend but the husband and the blackmailer are closing in. The blackmailer suddenly kills the husband just for fun. There is just the mad blackmailer and the heroine.

The hand shifts to my crotch. Fingers grip my bulge as the married woman backs away in fright.

The police suddenly arrive. Guns fire and the blackmailer drops dead. A policeman reveals that he had been tracking the blackmailer for some time. The married woman is comforted. The end.

There are no end credits. The lights come back on and the Usherette is already swinging herself to straddle my lap. The concession tray is gone. The jacket is back but it is wide open and tender nipples hover in front of me. She reaches down and touches my crotch. The fabric of my jeans and boxers unravels at her touch to expose my hard member.

It is time to pay for the movie.

The Usherette holds my cock as she lowers a shaved pussy onto it. Infernal heat grips my hardness and squeezes. I groan as she begins to ride me. Both hands go to cup her ass while my eyes are locking on her bouncing breasts

Up and down, the Usherette fucks me with a fury. Her curly blonde hair lengthens and darkens until it is an exact match for the married woman in the movie. I squeeze her ass as hard as I can and she makes the same whimpering sounds as the heroine. Music begins to play, matching the Italian jazz soundtrack.

The fucking is savage and quick. She comes twice before I expel into her. As I come, sharp nails dig into the back of my head, prolonging my ecstasy.

And then she is gone. My pants and underwear have been repaired and constrain a damp erection. My television is back and the music has stopped.

The smell of popcorn and pussy remain.

Apr 242023

Some movies I only know through Tumblr, back when Tumblr allowed porn. Belle de Jour was one of those movies. I would see gifs of a pretty blonde either getting whipped or having mud thrown on her. I had a vague impression that this movie was about a woman’s masochistic fantasies.

A week ago I decided to give the movie a try. The movie opens with the pretty blonde lady riding with her husband on a carriage ride. He gets mad, has the drivers pull over, bind the woman and then strip and whip her. Then he instructs her to fuck the woman.

And then we cut to the woman, idly daydreaming about what we just saw. We find out the woman hasn’t had sex with her husband yet and he is terribly patient about it. The woman just looks sad.

The woman discovers that there is prostitution ring in town and she decides to go check it out. After a brief interview, she agrees to work as a prostitute but only in the afternoon so she can get back to her husband. They come up with the alias, Belle de Jour.

Or does she? I have my doubts. The woman’s life of a prostitute is exciting, scary and sensual. She falls in love with a gangster who is so rakishly wild and eccentric that he looks like he came out out of a romance novel. Matters escalate and her husband gets shot and a friend betrays her confidence. Everything looks bleak but in the final scene, her husband is fine and everything is roses.

Which begs the question, is the ending another fantasy of the woman or was the whole movie a fantasy? The director refuses to say and that is fine with me. I feel like this movie is a tribute to secret fantasies and normally, a “it was all a dream” would piss me off, but it doesn’t here. Maybe because it never felt real to begin with. In a lot of ways, this movie felt voyeuristic in the sense that I was directly inside the woman’s fantasies.

Although a bit slow at times, I can see why this is considered an essential movie to watch in the erotic genre.