Slip and Sprain

Mar 202023
 

This past Friday I slipped on the ice outside and landed on my hand and ass. My ass hurts but nothing compared to the shooting pain that went up my arm. It turns out I sprained my wrist which is a first for me. According to the doctor, it will take one or two weeks to heal.

Let me tell you, as I get closer and closer to turning 50 next month, nothing makes you feel like an old man like slipping on some ice and going to the doctor. This is my second fall at this house and my first this year. I am going to get really aggressive/paranoid about identifying ice where I walk. I don’t know how many falls I have left in me before I break something.

Three days later and the pain is much better. I can type for short amount of times but I probably shouldn’t. All my writing has to go on hold. All of my physical book reading also has to go on hold so thank the Goddess for all the ebooks I have on my iPad. The blog will have to wait for a few days and hopefully, the next Vaquel story will be ready to go at the start of April.

Thank you for your patience.

Have You Read Where Monsters Lie?

Mar 152023
 
Watch out for the little guy. And the big guy. And the other big guy . .

Wilhurst is a very special gated community. Located outside of town, this sleepy looking rural collection of homes is the lair of a group of serial killers. Slashers like Richard the Clown, the confounding Puzzleman and the absolutely terrifying Fuckmaster are just a few the monsters that live here.

The killers have one rule, don’t kill in your backyard. Okay, they have a lot of rules, and all of them are enforced by a wicked little old lady named Zel. The rules are there to protect the slashers as they do evil on the world. There is a schedule and conforming to style but the most important rule is still, “Don’t kill in your backyard”.

That is the premise of the comic series, “Where Monsters Lie by Kyle Starks and Piotr Kowalski. In the first issues, Puzzleman fucks up and kidnaps some local kids to murder. Not only that, but one of the kids escapes and goes straight to the police. The issue ends with multiple police cars pulling up on the gated community.

I love this comic. There is only two issues out so far but I love it with my slasher heart. The killers range from scary to laughably neurotic. Richard the Clown wants to branch out into non-clown murders and Zel won’t let him. Puzzleman is in a slump and can only think of dick-traps these days. There are freaking HOA violations.

And murder. A whole lot of murder.

The Hammer Twins

Mar 132023
 

This is another sneak peak at the untitled book of sex demons that I am writing. All of these entries are works in progress and will likely be different from what I ultimately publish. If you have any feedback or questions, please leave a comment or email me as I am very undecided on a lot of aspects in this project.

The Hammer Twins

AKA: Minos Brothers, Galato and Omness, Xey Bokk Yi, The Judges of Depth.

“Mother was horrified. Father couldn’t look at me. My dearest friend, G____, was hysterical for weeks afterwards. The Vicar suffered a stroke and Grandmother somehow went blind. I had to leave and Uncle V____ was all too happy to pay for my trip to the Americas. Later, I heard they burned the dining table in which those glorious brothers had their way with me. Needless to say, they never celebrated Christmas again at de Alias Manor.” (Source: Baroness Maria de Alias, Consenting to Pleasure, 1914)

The Hammer Twins always manifest as two men. In ancient times, they usually had muscular human bodies with the heads of animals, most often bulls or lions. In more recent times, they frequently appear as muscular men wearing patchwork clothing. Closer examination will reveal that the clothing is made of stitched together underwear. Regardless of form, both are close to seven feet tall and are very well endowed.

The demons are aggressive and jovial partners who are only interested in their own immediate gratifications. They exude a thick musk that drives mortals to a state of near-nymphomania. The mortal is going to need that heightened arousal because the stamina of the Hammer Twins is legendary.

The Hammer Twins are relentlessly bisexual and have no trouble double-teaming mortals of all genders. They also always fornicate with an audience, preferably the loved ones or associates of the mortal they are fucking. The demons can be relentlessly cruel in demonstrating their superiority in the sexual arts. They have been known to repeatedly visit a household multiples times after the span of years.

The Hammer Twins always climax at the same time. Always.

The Hammer Twins were companions and lovers to Emperor Hadrian of Rome during his reign. They stopped no less than three attempts on his life. There is speculation that they also impregnated his wife so that he may have an heir, though it is unclear which heir the rumors were referring to. (Source: Lijsbet Odendaa, Catalogue Daemonium 1592)

In 1825 Georgia, the Hammer Twins terrorized slave owners by posing as escaped slaves and seducing their wives as the slave owners were forced to watch. The source of their summoning was traced back to a local swamp witch who eluded all attempts at capture. The demons continued to plague the husband sand please the wives on an annual basis until the witch’s passing in 1831. (Source: Doctor Anthony Wiley, A Study of Uncommon Vices, 1834)

The Hammer Twins always take undergarments from the mortals they fuck, preferring clothing that is soaked is soiled with sexual by-products. They use these articles to patch their clothing. Sometimes they will leave their clothes behind and these clothes are highly sought after by Magicians for their potent sexual energy. (Source: Solom Lazarus, Adventures in Ascension 1941)

Their symbol are two cocks springing from the same scrotum.

Have You Read the Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove?

Mar 062023
 

Pine Cove had a drug problem. One third oft he town is on anti-depressants because the sleepy little beach town is a drab place to live during the fall and winter months. When one of the residents commits suicide, the only psychiatrist in town worries that her tendency to prescribe pills and skip the therapy might killed someone. She greatly over-reacts and puts all of her patients on placebos. The resulting withdrawal and lack of meds does some wacky things to the town.

And all of that happens before a giant seam monster rises from the ocean and comes on shore. The beast is a shape-shifter and it also has the neat knack of making everyone in town as horny as fuck. More wackiness ensues.

The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove is written by Christopher Moore. The story takes an ensemble approach as we follow the stoner constable, the very unstable retired b-movie actress, the unethical psychiatrist, a blues man who had encountered the sea monster before and my favorite character, an eager dog who is looking out for his owner. It reminds me of a lighter Carl Hiassen, although the murder rate is about the same.

This is a horny book, although only as horny as an R-rated book can get. It feels like the kind of thing I might write if I didn’t write full on erotica. It is also a fun book and I was sad to see it end. Fortunately this book is part two of a series of books set in the town and reading the first them in order isn’t necessary. I highly recommend it.

Fiction: Slingshot Maneuver

Mar 012023
 

Explorer’s Log: I am on day twelve of my thirty-three day journey to the star system designated “The Majestic Blast of the King’s Ejaculate” by Royal Astronomers. Today I will be using the black hole designated “Fury of the King” to perform a slingshot maneuver over a vast sector of empty space. I predict no trouble doing this dangerous maneuver. End Explorer’s Log.

Explorer’s Personal Log: I haven’t done this slingshot since the training programs at the Royal Navy Academy. To prepare, I re-read the materials we have on board and I almost wish I hadn’t. Time distortions, hallucinations, possible continuum fractures and reality bleeds are all possible, and that is everything goes right! King’s balls, I’ll be glad when this is over.

Vichard Ten double checked the calculations. The probe ship was running hot and there was a sheen of sweet on his dark brown face. He had shaved his head recently and he unconsciously ran his fingers over his smooth scalp as he looked at the numbers. The light blue material of his spacesuit clung to his muscular frame and the outline of his bulge.

Headbot hovered in front of Vichard’s open legs. The purple robot bit her bottom lip and stared at the tempting bulge. Electronic eyes looked up at Vichard.

“Master, you seem very stressed,” Heabot said in her sweet voice. “Wouldn’t a nice blowjob relax you? I have developed some new tongue techniques I think you would like.”

“No,” Vichard said.

Headbot whimpered.

Vichard smiled. He was stressed but he didn’t want to get distracted by a good face fucking. The next best thing was denying the needy robot and listening to her disappointment. The small ego boost soothed his thoughts of the ship shattering across time.

“Beginning approach vector,” the navigation computer said.

That was it. There was nothing left to do but ride it out. Vichard leaned back in his chair. There was a lump in the seat and the back leaned to the left. He had tried fixing it but the fault kept returning. He wished he could swap out the seat for a new one.

Headbot floated beside Vichard’s head. Holographic red hair shimmered around her head. “This is so exciting, Master! The odds of a rip in the space-time-“

“Hush,” Vichard said. Maybe he should whip his cock and out keep her mouth busy.

The probe ship jerked. The velocity counter on the navigation console jumped exponentially. Colors began to streak all around him.

“Fuck,” Vichard whispered.

Someone cried out behind him. He turned in his seat and saw himself. His double was jacking his cock and shooting a load onto a double of Headbot. The robot bobbed and weaved as she sought to catch all the come.

“We did that two years and eighty -wo days ago,” Headbot said.

The double looked at Vichard, his cock still spraying come. “What the fuck?” he shouted.

Before Vichard could answer, the double and his robot disappeared.

“Time displacement,” Vichard said.

There was a scream. Vichard jumped out of his chair. Where did it come from?

A wave of nausea came over Vichard. He doubled over and as he looked at the floor, he thought it looked strange. When the nausea passed, he stood back up and noticed the ship was inverted.

He was on the ceiling. Had gravity inversed itself? Not taking any chances, he activated the magnetic lock in his boots.

“Master! I am picking up strange new programs!” Headbot said. “I now know ninety three explicit songs about spankings!”

The ship began to vibrate. There was another scream. A dark man that might have been Vichard slid across the floor and vanished. Red and purple light streaked across the interior of the ship. A four legged equine creature appeared and vanished.

An avalanche of sound assaulted Vichard. He clamped his hands over her ears and dropped to his knees on the ceiling. The sound was unbearably loud and he thought his head would explode.

And then the sound was gone. There was a taste of something sweet in his mouth. Vichard opened his eyes and was glad to see the floor under him.

“Queen’s tit,” someone said in front of him.

Vichard looked up. On their knees was another person. She was dark brown and wearing a purple spacesuit that clung to her generous curves. Short pink hair clung to her head and reminded Vichard of his own before he had shaved it.

Vichard stared at her. Every other apparition had appeared and vanished so he wanted to enjoy looking at her while he could. Nipples pressed against her purple spacesuit and he wanted to reach out and pinch them. She had a cute mouth that was made for cock-sucking. He wondered what it would be like to pull on that pink hair.

The woman stared back at him. Her eyes stripped him as she looked him up and down. She licked her lips and rose to one knee.

“Mistress!” something said behind the woman. A purple chair rolled up beside her. “Be careful! This being might be dangerous to your perfect bottom!”

“Master!” Headbot said beside Vichard. “I fear this creature might be carnivorous and hungers for your sweet penis!”

“Did your chair just talk?” Vichard asked.

The woman nodded. “That’s Chairbot. He’s mostly harmless. What about your flying fuckface?”

“She’s Headbot,” Vichard said. “She is mostly harmless too. I’m surprised you two are still on my ship.”

The woman snorted. “You two are on my ship.”

“Actually, Mistress,” Chairbot said. “Scans are inconclusive and fluctuating, but I am currently detecting the presence of two ships at the same time.”

“That can’t be good,” Vichard said. He stood up to his full height. The woman did too, standing just a head shorter than him. He got distracted by the way her curves shifted inside her spacesuit.

“Actually, Master, I have a theory,” Headbot said. “I believe our ships are from two co-existing realities that are very similar to one another. You and this carnivore share similar genetic markers and are of the same species. I have also detected that the talking furniture shares enough characteristics with me to be considered a Yeth as well.”

“Let me guess,” the woman said. “Your ship is attempting a slingshot maneuver around a black hole.”

“Exactly,” Vichard said. “The similarity of our ships and passengers must have created a connection through the black hole. I bet as we get further away from the hole, we will bleed back into our own realities.”

“Or disintegrate across space as we fail to re-integrate,” the woman said.

“Ha!” Vichard laughed. He was thinking the same thing. “I have a feeling I’ll survive. I’ve meet time-travelers who say we meet up in my future.”

“Fuck, you’re right. I forgot about my own time-travelers. We have to have already survived this,” the woman said. “My name is Vaquel but the way.”

“Vichard,” he said. “And do you serve King Umaxander?”

“Queen Erishella here,” Vaquel said. “How much longer do you think we have in this co-existing ship?”

“A kilosecond, maybe more?” Vichard said.

Vaquel took a step closer and placed her hand on Vichard’s crotch. Her fingers grasped the outline of his erection perfectly. She smiled as she gently squeezed.

“So, we should start fucking right away, right?” Vaquel said.

“Fuck, yes,” Vichard said.

Vaquel smirked. She looked cocky and so damn Euphorian in her sexual confidence. Vichard felt a homesickness rise within him alongside the growing lust.

He grabbed the back of Vaquel’s head and sunk his fingers into that short pink hair. As he tightened his grip, Vaquel gasped. Her eyes glazed with ready submission.

Vichard kissed her. She opened her mouth to his and his tongue invaded her. He claimed her mouth and she gave it to him.

Vaquel held onto his bulge. The harder he kissed, the tighter her grip became. The thin material of his suit provided no protection as she chocked his cock.

The kissing continued. Their tongues danced and fought. He bit her bottom lip. She sucked on his tongue.

Vichard reached between them, his fingers skimming over her belt. It felt like the same technology he used. A press of a button and the purple material slid down from her shoulders to expose bare skin. A second later, both heavy brown breasts flopped free. Before the material could finish retracting into her belt, Vichard already had a plump tit in his hand.

“Gods of the Overmoon,” Vichard thought. The woman’s breast was a perfect combination of softness and weight. Her nipple was as hard as pressed carbon. He sunk his fingers into her breast and enjoyed the way she moaned into his mouth.

Vaquel held onto his cock. The grip was nice but the urge to dominate grew stronger. He broke the kiss and turned her head to the side so he can kiss her ear. As his tongue flickered over her lobe, Vaquel’s moans grew louder.

“Let go of my cock,” Vichard whispered. “You haven’t earned it yet.”

Vaquel gave a husky laugh. “Make me.”

Vichard almost moaned. He had missed Euphorian flirting more than he realized. His fingers found her nipple. Vaquel giggled with anticipation and then cried out as his fingers twisted her sensitive flesh.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Vaquel moaned. She let go of his cock.

He bit down on her ear. Vaquel cried out again. She grabbed him by the hips but she left his bulge alone.

Vichard let her ear slip free of his teeth. He pulled her head back until she was looking up at the ceiling. His other hand let go of her breast.

“You want me to fuck you, slut?” Vichard asked.

“Yes,” Vaquel said.

WHAP! Vichard brought his free hand up and slapped Vaquel’s breast.

She cried out and rose on her toes. That was pretty impressive in those boots. A lovely handprint colored her brown tit.

“Do you deserve this cock?” Vichard snapped. WHAP! WHAP! He struck both breasts this time.

“Yes!” Vaquel shouted. “I deserve your fucking cock!”

“Is your slutty cunt worth my cock?” Vichard demanded. WHAP! WHAP! WHAP! WHAP!

Vaquel cried out from every slap. The smile on her face grew wider with each slap. She had almost forgotten the question.

“Yes!” Vaquel shouted. “My slutty cunt will fuck your Queen-damned brains out!”

WHAP! Vichard gave her a final slap and then let go of her hair. As Vaquel regained her balance, he pressed a button on his suit. The light blue material covering his legs receded into his belt. His thick rod popped free and stood at attention.

“Then prove it, slut,” Vichard said.

Vaquel growled. “Chairbot, initiate Pumping Tower Program #3.”

“Yes, Mistress!” the purple chair said.

Before Vichard could ask, Vaquel pushed hard on Vichard’s chest. He fell backward into the robot chair. Soft force fields softened his landing. As he sat in the chair, the force fields spread the cheeks of his ass.

Vichard laughed. “You’re going to make your robot do all the work.”

“No, your mouth will do some work too,” Vaquel said. She tapped a button and the rest of her purple spacesuit melted away. Smooth brown legs led to thick thighs which gave way to smooth brown pussy lips.

Vaquel jumped onto the arms of Chairbot. In an instant, Vichard had a close-up view of Vaquel’s sex. The lips were already glistening with her juices. Sharp nails grabbed the top of Vichard’s smooth head and pulled her to her cunt.

Vichard was happy to obey. He pressed his lips to Vaquel’s sex and groaned at the musky smell. His mouth opened and his tongue emerged to explore this delicious territory. It had been so long since he had Euphorian pussy that he had forgotten what it tasted like.

She tasted like sex.

Vaquel groaned. Her fingernails dug into Vichard’s scalp as she grinded against his face. She moved like a bed-slave, graceful and primal as she fucked his face.

Meanwhile, Vichard felt something press against his asshole. It was the frictionless tingle of a force field. He relaxed as the field extended upwards, stretching Vichard’s small hole and then expanding inward.

Vichard growled into Vaquel’s pussy. The anal stimulation was perfect. His cock responded with an aching hardness that begged for a woman’s touch. The little robot must get a lot of practice fucking Vaquel’s ass. He pictured her impaled on this chair and his cock pulsed faster.

“May I suck on one of your perfect breasts, Mistress?” Headbot said.

Vichard snorted into Vaquel’s pussy. His robot was calling Vaquel, Mistress? How easy his robot’s loyalty changed with the opportunity to put someone new in her mouth!

“You may,” Vaquel answered.

A moment later, Vaquel cried out. Sharp nails dug into Vichard’s head. Her cunt pressed hard against Vichard’s face and threatened to smother him.

Vichard chuckled. Headbot was good at what she did. The angle of his head allowed him to see Heabot’s floating head sucking on one of Vaquel’s plump breasts. There was a slight hum from the robot’s vibrating lips.

“Oh fuck,” Vaquel moaned. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

She grinded harder into Vichard’s face. Wet pussy lips smeared across his nose and mouth. The woman fucked his face with no care for his comfort.

Vichard felt deeply homesick. He was also intensely aroused. His cock throbbed. The force field in his ass pulsed while the seat under his balls vibrated. It was tempting to grab his cock and jack it but he resisted. He was saving his seed for Vaquel’s cunt.

The face-grinding suddenly stopped. As Vaquel froze in place, Vichard aggressively licked her pussy. He felt the familiar clenching of her sex.

“Glory to the Queen!” Vaquel screamed, coming on Vichard’s face.

Vichard kept licking.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Vaquel yelled. She started to pull away but Vichard grabbed her ass and held her to his face. His tongue swirled inside her.

“Glory to the Queen!” Vaquel cried as she came again.

Vichard couldn’t wait any longer. He grabbed Vaquel’s hips and pulled down. The post-orgasmic woman meekly complied. Headbot floated away from Vaquel’s breast, leaving a lovely set of teeth marks around her nipple. Chairbot lowered the arms of his chair to provide Vaquel with room to step down. The woman reached between her legs to guide his cock as she sat down on him.

The two of them cried out together as he filled her pussy. It was a perfect fit. They were made for one another. She clenched around him while he pulsed inside of her.

Vichard licked the pussy juices from his lips. Vaquel looked back at him with lust-glazed eyes. She was putty in his hands.

He slapped her ass. Vaquel cried out and her eyes regained focus.

“Fuck me,” Vichard commanded.

Vaquel nodded. She grabbed his shoulders and her hips began to move. Tight vaginal muscles held his cock as she grinded on his lap.

The force field in Vichard’s ass vibrated more intensely. The vibrating seat under his balls expanded to encompass his entire ass. As Vichard clenched, he could hear Chairbot moan excitedly under him.

“What should I do, Master?” Headbot asked.

“Oh, I’m your Master again?” Vichard remarked. “Just a moment ago, you were calling her Mistress.”

Vaquel groaned and continued to fuck Vichard.

“Please, Master,” Headbot begged. “I was only play-acting. Your cock is all I desire in my mouth.”

“Hmm,” Vichard said, relishing Headbot’s subservient flattery. “You may nibble on this slut’s neck. Her tits are mine.”

Vaquel bit her lip in a moaning smile.

“Thank you, Master!” Headbot said. She flew behind Vaquel and rained kissed on the back of Vaquel’s neck.

“Queen’s tit,” Vaquel moaned. She froze as she leaned back into the robot’s kisses.

Vichard growled and grabbed both of Vaquel’s tits. The squishy flesh was crushed in his grip. Vaquel cried out and her thighs trembled.

“Keep fucking me, slut,” Vichard commanded.

Vaquel resumed grinding. She held tightly onto his shoulders as her pussy wrenched his cock back and forth. Juices flowed from his unbelievable cunt and soaked his balls. She rocked back and forth with an almost manic need.

The force field in Vichard’s ass extended slightly. It was like a firing button had been pressed in his libido. Vichard could hold back no longer. He held onto tightly to Vaque;s abundant tits as his cock erupted inside her.

“Tribute to the King!” Vichard shouted. Every nerve in his body exploded in pleasure and pushed out through his cock.

“Glory to the Queen!” Vaquel countered, her own pussy spasming around his ejaculating cock.

Headbot and Chairbot both cried out at the same time. Vichard thought it was strange and part of him suspected something, but he quickly lost the train of thought as Vaquel’s pussy milked the come from his cock. Moaning robots became the least of his concern.

He wanted more.

Vichard let go of Vaquel’s tits and grabbed her ass instead. Vaquel cried out as he leaned forward and rose from Chairbot’s seat. The force field retracted from Vichard’s asshole, leaving a wonderful void behind. Headbot flew away as Vichard picked Vaquel up with his cock still embedded inside her. He intended to carry her to the bunk nearby but lust overcame him and he lowered her gently to the ground instead.

“Yes,” Vaquel moaned. “Fuck me on the Queen-damned floor!”

Vichard grunted and settled on top of her. He wondered what it would be like to serve a Queen. Would she be as terrible and awe-inspiring as King Umaxander? He shuddered at the thought of her no-doubt perfect breasts. What would it be like to sink into a royal pussy?

Vaquel wrapped her legs around Vichard and he focused on the pussy around his cock. He braced himself and began to fuck. Simple, primal thrusts on a hard floor ploughed into the damp cunt before him.

“Yes,” Vaquel hissed. She pulled his face down to hers. Their lips met. He bit her tongue. She dug scratches into his back with her fingers. Pain and pleasure mixed between them in that delicious way that only a fellow Euphorian can give and receive.

Vichard fucked this beautiful brown woman into the floor. His cock claimed a cunt already filled with his seed. He invaded her mouth with his tongue as his hips pummeled her thighs.

The ship vibrated. Weird lights streaked at the corner of his vision. He heard voices, dozens and then hundreds of voices grunting and groaning in disappointment.

Vaquel’s heels dug into his ass. Her pussy clenched tighter. Desperate whimpers erupted from her lips and into his mouth.

Vichard’s hips accelerated. He pounded into Vaquel, trying to outrace their inevitable separation. As realities began to pull apart, Vichard fucked as hard as he could to keep them together.

She came first. Vaquel’s mouth moved but he couldn’t hear her cry. The beautiful woman became transparent.

But Vichard could still feel her pussy around his cock. There was another spasm and then his own orgasm broke from his body. Hot seed rushed from his cock and filled her fading grasp.

There was a blinding light and then a shudder that shook the entire probe ship. Vichard fell forward to land on the hard floor. A sticky mess was on the ground beneath him.

“Master, we are back in our own reality,” Headbot said.

Vichard rose up. There was a lot of come on the floor in front of him. He wondered if Vaquel had any of it inside her.

Loss filled his heart. He would never see her again. One day, he would return back to the planet of Euphoria, but she would be on her own version.

“Master, are you okay?” Headbot asked.

“Check our future flight plan,” Vichard said. “Do we do another slingshot with a black hole?”

“One moment,” Headbot said. “Yes, in four years time.”

Vichard smiled. It was unlikely that this strange coincidence across two realities would happen again, but there was still a chance. Next time, he would be inside her ass.

“Clean this mess up, Headbot,” Vichard said. “I have a report to file.”

“Yes, Master,” Headbot said. She dove down to the floor and opened her mouth.

Vichard stood up and rubbed his head. The scratches Vaquel had made were still there. However, the sadness was already fading. In fact, he felt refreshed in a way he hadn’t felt in a long time.

With a slight spring to his step, Vichard returned to the leaning chair at the navigation console.

Xergan the Singer

Feb 222023
 

This is another sneak peak at the untitled book of sex demons that I am writing. All of these entries are works in progress and will likely be different from what I ultimately publish. If you have any feedback or questions, please leave a comment or email me as I am very undecided on a lot of aspects in this project.

Xergan the Singer

AKA Carla Geas, Ta Qíngyù, ♫♪♪♫, Green Eyes

Xergan the Singer has no consistent form. They flow between male, female and non-binary sometimes from moment to moment. They may retain a form for the length of an entire song, and more rarely, for an entire musical set but for the most part, their appearance is mercurial and fluid.

What doesn’t change is their voice. Their voice has incredible range and evokes emotions with a single note. If accompanied by a band, their voice is the most powerful component of the song. If you ever hear Xergan the Singer sing, then you will be able to recognize that voice for years to come no matter what shape they possess. (Source: Solom Lazarus, Adventures in Ascension 1941)

People don’t listen to Xergan the Singer sing, they become touched. Some mortals experience emotional breakthroughs. Others feel an intense longing or lust that changes the course of their life. Some magicians report receiving special insights through the music akin to a vision quest.

Xergan the Singer frequently has sex with their admirers. They sing as the fuck, often composing a song that is deeply personal for the person or persons they are having sex with. These individual songs result in an aural ecstasy that eclipses the physical pleasure.

As a lover, Xergan the Singer is as volatile as their appearance. Some of his more dedicated groupies report Xergan the Singer being passionate and gentle at one encounter and selfish as well as downright cruel at another.

It is well known that Xergan the Singer has a fondness for chocolate with green candy shells.

Attempts have been made to record Xergan the Singer through the centuries. The resulting recordings are usually completely silent, even if a band is also performing. Some speculate that Xergan the Singer doesn’t actually sing but communicates their songs through psychic emanations.

However, Julie Harlot claims that she recorded Xergan the Singer at a nightclub in New Orleans. She used a wax cylinder believed to have belonged to Baroness Maria de Alias while also using some microphones of her own arcane design. According to her, the recording worked and induced a high state of nymphomania in those who listen to it. Unfortunately, the cylinder was stolen by forces unknown within a month of the recording. (Source: Julie Harlot, Hacking the Algorithm of Desire! 2021)

Their symbol is a scale of six musical notes alternating with the Greek symbols for Mercury.

Have You Played Final Girl?

Feb 202023
 
Final Girls, Assemble!

Final Girl is a boardgame for one person. You play a Final Girl trying to rescue Victims and find equipment to empower yourself while a KIller stalks the map, killing victims. The game ends with the Killer killing you, or you killing the Killer. It is a card driven game with some interesting time mechanics and some very thematic elements.

I enjoy this game a lot. Most horror games try to are aimed at groups and therefore work hard to empower everyone at the table so they feel useful. In my opinion, that dilutes what makes most horror movies scary/ If everyone has a shot at the monster, than is it really a monster?

In this game, only the solo player has a chance with the killer. You will always have six of more Victims. These utter idiots die faster than balloons in a pin factory. That’s good, because saving one feels like a victory and watching one die really proves the danger of the killer. It makes one player the star of the story and allows the rules to do some clever things.

Another aspect I enjoy about this game is that it is modular. The expansions are called Feature Films and include a Killer, a Setting and two Final Girls. Each of these components come with their own rules to make them unique but you can mix and match them with other expansions as you like. This lets you use the Camp Killer in the Suburban Houses setting against the Girl who survived a poltergeist. It gives the games quite a big of replayability.

The downside to this game is that like a lot of solo games, there is quite a bit of set up. My first few games took me an hour and a half to play. They command a lot of table space. Also, the core Set whish is around 15$ doesn’t come with a scenario on its own. You need to buy the Core Set AND a Feature Film to play, which may cause some confusion with buyers.

Those caveats aside, it is a great game for horror movie lovers. My wife and I will play a game while the other watches and kibitzes. We are making our way through the expansions and have greatly enjoyed our time. The fact that we have already bought all of the expansions that are currently available tells you how hook we are.

Have You Read Booty Royale?

Feb 172023
 
Seriously, it should have been called Titty Royale

Booty Royale is an erotic manga series written and drawn by Rui Takato. It features an 18 year old karate expert, Misora, who wants to become a singer. She gets hired by a sketchy modeling agency who puts her into clothed erotica modeling. After a few gigs, the agency tricks her into entering a martial arts event where if she looses, she has to get gangbanged by one hundred men. And this is just the first story in a very thick book

As you might have guessed, this is a very silly series. Misora is placed in embarrassing situations with degrading punishments at stake. Sometimes the peril is being forced to jump rope without a bra for a sleazy video or, in a lot of cases, outright sexual assault. Misora always overcomes these challenges with her karate skills and can-do attitude. The stories are half porn, half martial arts epic.

You know, I am never sure with Japanese erotica if the creators are engaging in satire or not. Some of the situations are hilarious, like when Misora has to crack a watermelon using only her giant breasts. At other times, the sexual assaults that Misora is threatened with, or the assaults carried out on other characters, feels a bit too brutal for such a silly premise.

The art is lovely to look at and some of the action scenes are downright fantastic. Your mileage on the erotic peril may vary but there is a lot to be had. I was equally amused and offended and I;m not sure if I will be continuing the series. Speaking of which. there are twelve English books of the series at the moment.

Fiction Bite: My Secret Valentine

Feb 142023
 

Around ten in the morning, there was a knock at my back door. I didn’t recognize what it was at first because, well, it was the back door. The knocking was loud and a bit insistent. Why didn’t they just come to the front?

I went to the back door at the kitchen and peeked through the curtain. The first thing I saw was a black hood, skin tight with only a hole for a mouth wearing bright red lipstick. The hood alarmed me at first. Maybe it was some sort of bizarre morning robbery, though the lipstick suggested otherwise.

Then I noticed the rest of the person. They wore a long red coat that I recognized from somewhere. The coat clung to their body and the obvious feminine curves underneath. Bright red heels covered their feet and I felt a moment of sympathy for what it must have taken to walk over my cracked sidewalk in these heels.

Weird, but kind of sexy.

I opened the door. The hooded woman smiled. I knew that smile but I couldn’t place where. My wife was at work and this was not remotely her style.

The woman had a card in her hand. She presented it to me, but her angle was off. That was when I noticed the hood had no eye holes or even slits. She was probably blind inside that hood.

I took the card. It was a Valentine’s Day card. The front said, “Happy Valentine’s Day!”

Inside was blank except for a woman’s handwriting.

“Please do not ask my name.
Please do not remove my hood.
Please unwrap your present.
Please use my mouth.
Please use my cunt.
Please put your hand around my throat.
Please hurt my ass but don’t mark my tits.
Please return me to the porch by 4pm.”

It was signed, “Your Secret Valentine”

Huh. This was a first for me. I should have closed the door. Or, failing good marital sense, I should have at least brought my Secret Valentine inside.

What I did instead was reach for her coat. I undid the buttons as the woman bit her lip. Taking my time, I opened that bright red coat and unwrapped my present.

She wasn’t quite naked underneath but it was close. A lacy red bra held up lovely breasts. Red hearts stickers covered her skin. Matching red lace panties covered her sex. More heart stickers covered her thighs.

I hooked my fingers in her panties. My Valentine shuddered. I pulled on her panties and peeked. She was shaved and it looked recent. Lovely.

Wait, what was that on her hip? A small tattoo of a dolphin riding a rainbow adorned her skin. It was a good thing she was blind or else she would have seen me smile.

I knew that dolphin. This was Katie. She was in my wife’s book club. I followed her on Facebook. We had mad met several times at parties and vacations. I had seen this coat in pictures on social media. I had no idea she felt this way.

Well, I had a little suspicion, but just a little. I wonder what her husband thought of this. Or does he even know?

Yeah, not my problem.

I took my Valentine by the hand. “Come on in,” I said, “And mind the step.”

We left her coat by the kitchen door. Her bra I left on the counter. She kept her panties on as I ate her out on the living room couch but took them off before fucking her on the ottoman. Later, she rode me while I squeezed her throat.

It was a good start to a lovely day.

A Moment of Bliss

Feb 132023
 

Time management is key to working from home. I have to set aside time to work, eat, do chores and spend time with my family but I also have to schedule my fun time. If I don’t, I will never do the fun things because there is always one more story to write or one more chore to do. Eventually I burn out and then I spend an entire day doing nothing.

One way I combat this is setting aside a Moment of Bliss every day. This is a time when I do whatever the fuck I want. Some days it can be as simple as getting back to a book I am reading or something more substantial as cooking a recipe that has captured my imagination.

Lately it has been listening to erotic audio on OhCleo. I have always been a fan of audio erotica but rarely seem to find the time to just stop and listen without multitasking. The Moment of Bliss gives me that time and I am very grateful for it.

Another thing I have been doing is playing more journal games. I have already talked about Thousand Year Old Vampire, but I also love returning to Umbra by Anna Blackwell. It is amazing what writing purely for yourself can do for your creativity.

What about you? Where are you going to find your moment of bliss today?

 Older Entries