“Greetings mortals! It is I, Suckubeth, that demon queen who makes you scream, and scream and scream! I have returned after six long years to haunt this blog and bring you more sexy terror. With me as always is my Flaming-Skull-on-a-stick, Burny!”

“The seals have been broken and the rites have been forgotten! Run for your lives, mortals! Go read something wholesome for your soul, like that cookbook your mother passive-aggressively gave you!”

“Hush, Burny. These people miss me. The only horror they have had was a big orange guy with a mushroom dick. They are starving for something more salty, savory and sweet.”

“Oh dear, now I am hungry. I didn’t know a burning skull could get hungry.”

“Save that appetite because I have a story that will fill your stomach and your other needs. Read on, mortals.”

***

Emma hunched behind the decrepit counter. Her friends did the same. she did a quick head count. Oh God, there was only six of them left.

They never should have never picked the abandoned Eastside Mall for the Halloween party. Jacob should have never rented the generator to power up the food court. Olivia should have never brought her Ouija board.

Someone, or something, walked among the tables of the food court. It wore an ugly jumpsuit that had been stained grey with God knows what. On its head was a phallic looking mask. It carried a large club painted like a sausage in one hand, and dragged the dead body of Aidan in the other. It slowly dragged the body towards one of the empty restaurants and into the back kitchen.

“Who is that dickhead?” Kaitlyn whispered.

“You don’t know about Sausage Joe?” Ryan said. “He killed a bunch of people in the 90’s.”

“I don’t like history,” Kaitlyn said. It was true. Emma was pretty sure that Kaitlyn didn’t like math, science or biology either. The only thing that girl cared about was anatomy, preferably, but not exclusively, male.

“Why does he wear that stupid mask? It looks like a dick,” Kaitlyn asked.

“He was a mascot for a sausage store here in the mall,” Matthew said. He knew all the gory stories. “He wore that stupid outfit and people picked on him all the time. One day he snapped and killed a bunch of teens in the parking lot. He ground them all up for sausages.”

“Ewww,” Kaitlyn said. “Why didn’t the police arrest him?”

“Because they shot him dead,” Tyler said. “And I would too if Hailey didn’t make me leave my gun in the parking lot.”

“You don’t bring a gun to a party, Tyler,” Hailey snapped. “Don’t you watch the news?”

“Well maybe you bring a gun to an abandoned mall that keeps having serial killer attacks!” Tyler snapped.

“Wait,” Kaitlyn said. “You said he was shot dead. Is this someone else?”

“Well, no one knows for sure,” Matthew continued. Despite the danger, Emma could see him smiling in the darkness. “Every couple of years, Sausage Joe, or someone that dresses like him, attacks people in or around the mall. He has been doing this for years.”

“Why the fuck do people keep coming here?” Kaitlyn asked. “Fuck, why did we come here?”

“It is the only place in town the police don’t come to,” Ryan said. “If you want a party, and you don’t have someone’s house to use, this is the go-to place. I mean, it’s not like he kills everyone who comes here.”

Emma frowned. That sort of short-sighted thinking is why she broke up with Ryan when they were younger. He never thought bad things could happen to him.

“Usually, he kills a dozen people and then stops,” Matthew said. “No one know why he stops at twelve. Some people say it is because he makes sausages out of their bodies, and a dozen sausages is what you used to get with one of the bucket meal deals.”

“Hold on,” Emma said. “We saw him kill Aidan, Olivia and Joshua just now when we tried to escape through the doors.”

“When did he have time to put the fucking chains on the doors?” Tyler asked.

“It’s not important,” Emma said. “That’s three. He killed Isabella and Hannah back at the dried up water fountain, so that’s five.”

“And we haven’t seen Sarah and Nicholas since the séance,” Ryan added.

“That was a bad fucking idea,” Tyler snickered.

“That is seven,” Emma said. “Shit, he’s nowhere near twelve people.”

“There’s another way to make him go away,” Matthew said. “Sausage Joe was kind of an incel before incels were a thing. Some people have tried fucking him and that makes him go away.”

“Bullshit,” Tyler said.

“No, it’s true,” Hailey said. “My Aunt Lydia said that one of her friends fucked Sausage Joe when he attacked them one Fourth of July. After that, he left even though he had only killed one of them,”

“I heard a similar story,” Ryan said. “Except it was a gay guy who sucked off Sausage Joe during a Christmas massacre. He’s not picky.”

“Well, I am not sucking off some killer,” Tyler said. “I’d rather be a sausage. Kaitlyn should do it, she’s the slut in the group.”

“Fuck you, Tyler,” Hailey said. “God, I can’t believe we’re dating. Kaitlyn is allowed to be as promiscuous as she wants.”

“Actually, I’m still a virgin,” Kaitlyn said. “I just read a lot of smut online and tell those stories so people will think I am cool. I am so sorry that I lied to you guys!”

“Shit, he’s out again!” Ryan said.

The six people peeked over the counter. Sausage Joe had his club over his shoulder as he walked to one of the other abandoned restaurants. He looked behind the counter and then moved to the next one. There were only two more empty stores to check, and then a wide hallway to the rest of the mall before he reached their location.

Emma looked at her friends. Kaitlyn whimpered. No wait, that was Tyler. They had all seen how fast Sausage Joe was at killing. The doors to the food court were how they got into the mall and now they are chained up. If they wanted to run for it, it meant running through a dark empty mall at night praying that they could find a way out.

Shit, Emma didn’t want her friends to die. Matthew was creepy with his interest in murder but he also snuck her R-rated DVDs when they were kids. Hailey had terrible choice in boys but they got through eight books of that vampire romance series together. Kaitlyn helped her buy her first dildo. Ryan was her first kiss, sext and handjob.

As for Tyler, well, fuck Tyler.

Sausage Joe inspected the old doughnut place. It was the last store on that side of the food court. Kaitlyn was hugging Matthew. Tyler was quietly sneaking into the back kitchen. Hailey was praying. Ryan licked his lips, as if trying to screw up the courage to do something.

“I’ll do it,” Emma said.

Ryan grabbed her hand. “Em, no!”

Emma pulled her hand free. To his credit, Ryan didn’t hold on. He always did respect her.

Sausage Joe came out of the doughnut place. He paused and then walked towards the store they were hiding at. The painted club was by his side and he took a few practice swings as he came closer.

When he was about twenty feet away, Emma stood up. “Hey, Sausage Joe. I heard you like pussy.”

Sausage Joe stopped in his tracks. He put the club over his shoulder. The ridiculous sausage mask bobbed as he nodded his head.

Emma’s heart was pounding as she came around the counter. None of her friends tried to stop her. She walked across the food court under flickering lights. A large blood stain was in her way and she walked around it.

Something crashed behind Emma. It sounded like a bunch of pans. Sausage Joe flinched and lifted his club. He stomped towards Emma. No, not her, towards her friends!

Emma acted fast. She pulled her blouse off to reveal the lacy black bra she wore in case someone cute showed up. “Hey dickheard, look, tits!”

Sausage Joe stopped in his tracks. He turned slowly towards her. She really regretted calling him dickhead. It was that stupid hat. It really did look like an ugly dick.

Fortunately, Sausage Joe set his club down on a dusty table. He reached for Emma and grabbed a bra-covered breast. His rough fingers sunk in and squeezed.

Emma winced. His hands were cold and his grip was really strong. He crushed her breast in one hand and then let go to crush the other. Back and forth he went, squeezing her tits with his left hand while his right hand hung by his side.

Sausage Joe pawed the bra cup. He was trying to pull it off. His fingers sunk in and tore the cup right off the garment. Emma cried out as he did the same to the other cup.

“Juicy,” Sausage Joe groaned. It sounded like a grinder chewing through meat.

He grabbed her right breast and squeezed again. Pain lanced through Emma’s breast. She dropped to her knees in agony.

Sausage Joe let go of her tit and grabbed her head instead. Powerful fingers clutched at her blonde hair. He held her in place as his other hand moved to his crotch. There was a fold in the grey jumpsuit that he reached into.

Emma gulped at what he pulled out. A thick member, remarkably clean, emerged from the jumpsuit. The head was a deep purple. The dick was monstrous in length.

“How the fuck did that guy suck this?” Emma thought.

Sausage Joe pulled her head to his sausage. Emma opened wide as the massive beast battered her teeth. It invaded her mouth and pushed into her throat. He pulled her head in until Emma’s nose was pressed hard against his filthy jumpsuit.

The smell of blood choked Emma. Sausage Joe grabbed her hair with both hands and his hips began to pump. The thick cock rammed her mouth as he fucked her head.

Emma gurgled. She grabbed his thighs and tried to push but Sausage Joe was too strong. The only thing she could was keep her jaw as slack as possible and hope it would be over soon.

It wasn’t. Sausage Joe fucked her face at the same inhuman pace. Spit fell from her violated mouth and splattered against her bouncing tits. The thick cock battered her throat with savage thrusts. Her scalp burned from the tugging on her hair but there was no escape.

Emma wondered what the others were thinking. Were Kaitlyn and Hailey glad that it wasn’t their mouths being abused? Was Matthew watching it all so he can add it to the scary stories he collected? Did Ryan regret letting her go or was he wondering why he never got a blowjob from her?

The thrusting dick bruised Emma’s lips. She choked but Sausage Joe kept going. The jumpsuit opened more to reveal giant hair balls.

There was the sound of running feet. Sausage Joe let go of Emma’s head with his right hand but held onto to her with the other. She tried to look but the monster’s cock kept ramming her mouth.

WHACK! Something hit the ground behind her. It sounded like a body.

Sausage Joe pulled out of Emma’s mouth. Oh shit, he must be mad. Someone did something stupid and now he was going to kill her.

Emma was pulled to her feet. Sausage Joe grabbed the front of her jeans and tried to pull it open. It was like he had never opened a woman’s pants before. Well, he probably hadn’t. Emma unfastened her jeans and then hooked her fingers in her pants and her black underwear before pulling them down.

Sausage Joe grunted. The silly blood-stained mask nodded. He held onto Emma as she stepped out of her jeans and underwear. Thank God she wore her sandals tonight.

Emma was spun around to face the counter her friends were hiding behind. A body was on the ground in front of her. It was Tyler and his head was tiled at an unnatural angle. One of those long metal pizza shovels was in his hand.

Relief washed over Emma. Fuck Tyler. She was so glad that it wasn’t one of her friends. The idiot must have been dying to do some violence.

Heh, dying. Emma started to giggle. Was this what hysteria felt like?

Sausage Joe grabbed her waist and pushed on her back. Emma bent forward and braced her legs. Something thick and covered in spit pushed against her shaved sex. The wide head pushed into her.

“Fuck!” Emma cried out. The massive meat fucked her pussy. It was too big. It was going too fast. It was unbelievable.

Sausage Joe grabbed her by the hair and pulled her head back. Emma’s body went limp as he pounded her from behind. Her arms and tits dangled as she was used.

Four heads peeked out from behind the pizza counter. It was impossible to read their expressions from this distance but all of their eyes were wide open. Wait, did Matthew have his cell phone out? Not cool!

The thick sausage rammed Emma’s pussy. Her eyes clenched shut as the orgasm hit her. A monstrous wave of bliss obliterated her senses.

Damn, how much of a loser was this guy that he couldn’t get laid with a dick like this?

Sausage Joe kept going. For a monster who only fucks every couple of years, he had amazing endurance. The sound of his hips slamming into Emma’s ass echoed through the mall.

Emma couldn’t take much more. Her pussy was sore. Both tits ached from the squeezing he gave them. She was going need an ice pack for her throat from the skull-fucking earlier.

Without warning, Sausage Joe pulled out of Emma and she dropped to her knees. The wet squishing sound behind her told her that he was jacking his dick.

There was a loud howl. Sticky wetness fell from the ceiling and onto Emma’s kneeling body. Wait, it wasn’t rain. It was Sausage Joe’s semen, arcing through the air and showering her with his filthy seed.

Emma stayed where she was. After what seemed like forever, the rain stopped. She looked up to see that some of the seed had landed on Tyler’s face.

“You got some of his spunk after all,” Emma whispered. She thought she was still hysterical.

Sausage Joe picked up his club. He tucked his shrinking dick back into his filthy jumper. The mask looked down at Emma and she wished she could see his face.

Emma didn’t say anything. He was supposed to go away now. That was the whole point. Well, unless that story was bullshit and they were all going to die anyway. Wouldn’t that suck?

Sausage Joe bent over. Emma flinched until she saw him grab Tyler by the shirt. The killer dragged the body towards the old sausage place. A smear of blood trailed behind the two.

Emma got to her feet on unsteady legs. She was never eating sausage again.

***

“What a lovely story to start the Halloween season. Girl meets Killer, Killer Bangs Girl, Killer brains Guy and keeps banging Girl. It is a timeless tale.”

“It does make you wonder if Emma will now have a thing for meat between her legs.”

“Burny! I am surprised and delighted by your awful pun. I am beginning to rub off on your eternal damnation.”

“I could only dream that you would rub off on me, sexually.”

“True Burny, so true. As for you mortals, maybe you will get your chance if you keep reading these stories. I will catch your souls later.”

“Greetings, mortals! It is me, Suckubeth, the sassy lassy with the cursed chassis! Joining me as always is my Flaming-Skull-on-a-Stick companion, Burny.”

“Mortals, stop touching yourself, right now! Every stroke gives her more power over your fragile soul!”

“Oh let them stroke, Burny! Everyone deserves a little pleasure before they join my collection of damned souls. That is why today’s story is a delightful treat I like to call, “The Pleasers”.

“No! That story is too seductive and will teach them bad habits like staying out too late and giving blowjobs to strangers!”

“One can certainly hope, Burny.

Read on, mortals.”

***

At exactly one am on Halloween, Angelica stepped out of her car. She pulled down the skirt to her nurse’s costume. The brisk October breeze went right through the thin material. She was thankful for the white stockings she had chosen to wear. They should help keep her warm.

The street was dark. Rows of houses stretched out before her. Most of them had their lights turned off to let people know they were no longer giving candy. Here and there, purple lights shined like beacons on select houses. Street lights illuminated parts of the road but mostly there was darkness.

Angelica was glad that she wore a nurse’s uniform. She was Hispanic with dark skin and black hair; all of which blended too easily into the dark. At least the white should make her stand out to any cars.

She headed for the first purple light. The road was a slope but that was why she was wearing sensible shoes instead of the heels from last year. The rules were to wear something sexy and Angelica’s overflowing cleavage, short skirt, tight stockings and red lips certainly made up for the lack of heels.

The purple light called to her. Her heart race as she walked up the driveway. She felt her mouth go dry as she climbed the porch steps. A paper skeleton leered at her from the door. She pressed the buzzer and stood up straight.

The door opened. A woman towered over Angelica. The black dress she wore clung to her body. Red hair framed a pale face. A bat necklace dangled between pale exposed breasts. She smiled to reveal pointed teeth.

There was a pause and Angelica blushed. The woman was waiting for the ritual words.

“Use me please!” Angelica said. She put her hands behind her back and waited.

“Lift your skirt,” the woman said.

Angelica did as she was told. She pulled up her skirt to reveal a shaved sex. No panties were allowed on Halloween.

The woman leaned down and pressed her fingers to Angelica’s sex. She pushed and her fingers slipped in.

Angelica gasped. She was wet. She had been wet ever since she stepped out of her car. She knew she was going to be wet all night.

The woman used her free hand to pull aside the shoulder of Angelica’s nurse costume. She dipped down and planted a kiss on Angelica’s shoulder. A tremor ran through Angelica and she let out a moan.

The woman bit down. Sharp points clamped down on Angelica’s shoulder. At the same time, the woman’s fingers stroked Angelica’s sex.

Angelica gasped. The bite was intense and grew stronger with every passing second.

The fingers dug deeper into her sex. The fingers stroked faster.

Angelica gritted her teeth. It would be bad to scream. It was against the rules to draw attention to oneself. She was here to receive whatever was given to her.

The woman kept biting. Her fingers kept stroking.

Angelica began to squirm. She couldn’t help. Pain and pleasure wrestled for control of her body.

Suddenly the woman let go. She pulled her fingers out of Angelica and stood up. Looking angelica in the eyes, she brought her wet fingers to her mouth and sucked on them.

“You may go,” the woman said. She continued to lick her fingers.

Angelica walked away on shaking knees. She pulled her skirt down when she reached the street. Her shoulder ached and she knew it would bruise. Her sex ached and she knew it was just the start.

She passed a house and then another. A dog barked at her from a dark house.

Across the street was a man walking in the opposite direction. He was dressed like a superhero from a movie she hadn’t seen. He waved at her and she waved back. He was a fellow traveler this night.

Three more houses and she reached another purple porch light. A paved path guided her to the door. She climbed the steps and was frightened by a toy bat that suddenly hissed at her.

She pressed the door bell. She heard someone cry out inside the house.

The door opened. A handsome dark man with no shirt answered the door. The sound of a hard spanking came from behind him.

WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!

When the spanking paused, Angelica spoke. “Use me please.”

The dark man looked over his shoulder. “She is still busy but come in.”

He stepped aside and Angelica entered the house. They were in a foyer and down the hall; a living room could be seen. Someone cried out as the spanking continued. It was a male’s voice.

“Turn around,” the dark man said. He now had a crop in his hand. Maybe he always had one in his hand.

Angelica obeyed. She also gathered up her skirt to reveal her plump ass. Her buttocks clenched. She hated crops. She hated them with a terrible heat within her pussy.

WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! The spanking from the living room continued.

The man pushed Angelica’s head against the door. He pinned her there while the tip of his crop traced over the curves of Angelica’s ass.

Her pussy clenched in anticipation.

WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! The spanking grew louder. So did the cries of the male voice.

WHISH! The air was cut and then a sliver of pain stung Angelica’s ass.

“Fuck!” she cried out.

WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! The spanking continued.

WHISH! Another swing of the crop and another slice of pain formed on Angelica’s bottom.

WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! The spanking echoed down the hallway.

WHISH! Another precise strike of the crop hit Angelica’s ass. She cried out and clenched her skirt in her hands.

The man pushed harder on her head. He ground her face into the hard door.

Angelica’s pussy clenched with need.

“Fuck!” the male voice yelled. Something terrible was happening to him.

Angelica wished that she knew what it was.

WHISH! WHISH! WHISH! A flurry of crop strikes hit her. Angelica’s own screams drowned out the male’s voice. A rain of sharp stings fell on her ass and she quivered against the door.

“There,” the dark man said. He let go of her head. “You may go.”

Angelica quickly pulled her skirt down. Her ass burned from the contact with the skirt. She winced and whimpered silently as he opened the door for her.

WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! The spanking had resumed behind her.

She quickly left the house. The crop marks burned her ass with every step. The cool October wind was no comfort.

Angelica reached the road and paused near a streetlight. She was so wet. That last house had been so hot. Who was being spanked? Was he another Pleaser like herself? How much longer would he get his ass spanked? Would they give him any relief when it was over?

Her hand moved to her skirt. She could lift her skirt and stroke. She could give herself what she craved and be done in less than a minute. It was against the rules but Angelica was so wet that she couldn’t stand it.

The thought of disobeying the rules brought her back to her senses. She took six deep breaths and then continued her journey.

One dark house, followed by another and then another. She turned a corner and walked past a large yard. A bright moon watched her as she looked for more purple lights.

She found one. It was across the street. She hurried her way across and entered the yard. A row of small orange lights guided her to the door.

Someone was already on the porch. It was a woman dressed as an ice princess from a cartoon movie. She was bent over the porch rail as someone fucked her from behind. The long blond braid from her wig bounced over the rail’s edge.

The man that was fucking her was dressed as a pirate. He had an eye patch and bandana. He fucked the ice princess with a frenzied pace.

Angelica wasn’t sure what to do. Who was the home owner and who was the pleaser? She stopped a few feet away from the porch and waited to be called on.

The pirate pulled out. He slapped the ice princess on the ass. “You can go now. You! Come over and finish me off.”

The ice princess stood up and pulled her dress down. She had the biggest smile on her face. She went down the steps with the awkwardness of the well fucked. As she walked past Angelica, she patted Angelica’s arm with almost sisterly affection.

The pirate was waiting. His cock protruded from his pants. Angelica went up the stairs and he grabbed her shoulders. He pushed her down and Angelica fell to her knees. The crop marks on her ass flared and her pussy grew wetter.

“Use me please,” Angelica said.

He pulled her head to his cock. The smell of pussy was overwhelming. Angelica opened her lips and took him into her mouth.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” the man groaned.

The pirate let go of her head and Angelica went to work. Her hands went to his thighs to steady herself. She bobbed on his cock and let her tight lips do the work.

Angelica sucked. She sucked on the cock of a stranger and tasted the juices of another. She sucked while on her knees on a stranger’s porch. She sucked because she loved to be used by others.

The pirate groaned. His hands went to her shoulders and gripped tightly. He was trying to control himself but his hips were thrusting towards her mouth.

Angelica’s pussy clenched tightly. Oh fuck, she wanted to be fucked. She wanted this hard cock in her sex. She wanted to be bent over the railing and fucked like the ice princess.

But she kept sucking. This was his desire and she was here to please this night on Halloween.

There was a gasp and then a flood of salty sweetness. Angelica moaned and swallowed. Her tongue and lips drained all that he had to offer.

“Oh wow,” the pirate said. “Good job.”

Angelica’s pussy clenched tighter. She could drown a pirate ship in her pussy she was so wet.

The pirate pulled out. “You may go,” he said, freeing her. now it was his turn to walk awkwardly as he headed inside and closed the door.

Angelica rose to her feet. She licked her lips for any lingering traces of the pirate or the ice princess.

The purple porch light went out. A surge of pride filled Angelica. That was one house that was too sated to continue.

She returned to the street. There were fewer lights than she remembered. The next one was across the street and four houses down.

Angelica hurried. She didn’t see the ice princess. Perhaps she was always ready at the house Angelica was going to. Maybe the purple light would turn off before Angelica reached it.

The light stayed on. A jack-o-lantern burned on the porch. A plastic sign promised candy to ghosts and ghouls.

Angelica rang the doorbell.

She waited.

The door opened. A short woman with a simple domino mask answered the door. The rest of her was naked. It was an effective costume.

The masked woman had a vibrator in her hand. Angelica gasped. It was the new Von Madd Hurricane with the large sphere attachment.

“Use me please,” Angelica begged.

The masked woman smiled.  “Reach up,” she said.

Angelica looked up. Leather handles hung discretely from the roof of the porch. She was so eager that she almost jumped for them. They were set high so Angelica had to stretch to grab and hold onto them.

She felt wonderfully exposed.

The masked woman turned on the Hurricane. A powerful hum came from the device. A louder moan came from Angelica’s lips.

Angelica watched the Hurricane come closer. The masked woman didn’t bother to lift Angelica’s skirt. She just placed the sphere end against Angelica’s stocking covered thigh and slowly moved it upwards.

The deep vibrations made Angelica’s leg quiver. As it neared her sex, Angelica felt tears spring to her eyes. Fuck, she wanted this.

The masked woman touched the vibrator to Angelica’s sex. It was powerful, almost too powerful. It was perfect.

Angelica lost herself and cried out. The woman’s hand clamped over her mouth a second before she screamed. Angelica’s cheeks flushed with shame at the terrible mistake she almost did but the masked woman just laughed.

The masked woman pressed a button. The vibrations began to oscillate. Round and round the vibrations penetrated Angelica’s soaking pussy.

Angelica screamed again into the woman’s hand. Her knees buckled and her arms shook as she held onto the hanging handles.

“Come, little nurse,” the masked woman said. “Come as I look into your eyes.”

Angelica nodded. She wanted nothing more than to obey.

The masked woman pressed another button. The sphere end began to rotate in the opposite direction of the oscillating vibrations.

Images and sensation flashed through Angelica’s mind. She felt the sting of the crop once more on her thighs. She tasted the ice princess’s pussy. She felt the sharpness of the vampire woman’s bite. She felt the surge of the pirate’s seed going down her throat.

This time Angelica moaned with the masked woman’s hand clamped over her mouth. She felt the dam collapse and a huge orgasm swept over her like a wave. Her knees gave out completely and Angelica hung from her arms as she came.

Throughout it all, the masked woman watched her. She stared into Angelica’s eyes as Angelica moaned, squirmed, shuddered and came.

The masked woman smiled and turned off the vibrator. She brought up to in front of Angelica’s face so she could see how soaked it was. Angelica blushed at the mess she had made.

“You can go now,” the woman said. “And be sure to come back next year.”

The masked woman went back inside. Angelica let go of the handles. To her surprise, she stayed on her feet.

The October wind blew and was colder. Angelica barely felt it. The heat in her sex was an inferno. The crop marks were hot sparks on her ass.

She returned to the street in search of more houses to visit.

***

“Like I have always said, it is not Halloween until you come on a stranger’s porch.”

“Is that why you told two stories this year about trick-or-treaters? Or are you running out of infernal ideas?”

“Why, Burny, I am pleasantly surprised by your snarky criticism! You are growing a spine which is quite the trick for a flaming skull on a stick.”

“Does this mean you will shave a few years off my damnation?”

“Of course not, Burny! In fact I plan to add a few. I like snark but save it for other demons.”

“Well, fuck.”

“Fuck is right. But remember, only stop at houses with the purple lights.

As for you mortals, I’ll catch your souls later.”