For a limited time only, Sheba’s is proud to announce the return of the Sheba Taco! You have heard about it, you have dreamed about and sometimes you thought it was as rare as a drama free threesome, but now it is finally here!

Just imagine: a crunchy corn shell shaped to fit between the thighs of a beautiful woman. Fresh lettuce that was shredded moments before you ordered it. Cheese made from real dairy products*. Real ground meat that came from a cow that grew up on an all cowgirl ranch. ** All of it prepared by a topless Sheba’s employee! ***

Choose from three types of salsa! We have Summer Affair for those who like it hot! We have Passion Fruit for those who like it sweet and running down their chin! We also have Vajayjay, our unique special salsa that you won’t be able to stop eating!

Sheba’s Tacos are available for a limited time only. Customers always say they eat Sheba’s Tacos but no one really believes you until they see you eat one. Studies have shown that men and women who eat Sheba’s Tacos are 70% more likely to satisfy their female sexual partners. ****

* Most of our competitors get their cheese from Russian sex slaves. It is not remotely sexy. Look it up.

** Most of our competitors use sand, pseudo meat and the leftover fingers of Yakuza employees who have dishonored themselves.

*** Log into your local Sheba’s website to watch a livecam of Sheba’s employees as they make your food.

**** Von Madd Culinary/Sexual Correlations Study 2010.

Entrees

Double A’s – Two small burgers for those who like to put it all in their mouth at one time. Each burger has a thigh pressed meat patty, lettuce, cheese, onions and our special Sheba Sauce. There is no pickle. Who the $*#% eats pickles these days?

Junior Knockers – Two small burgers that are the same size as the Double A’s, but contain no onions or Sheba Sauce because some customers are afraid of flavor. Each burger still has a thigh pressed meat patty, lettuce and cheese.

Double Whammies – Two large burgers, each bigger than a handful. Each burger has a thigh pressed meat patty, lettuce, cheese, onions and our special Sheba Sauce. Still no pickle. Seriously, stop asking.

Nibbles– Eight chicken tenders you can’t wait to put between your lips! Comes with dipping sauce of your choice, Sheba Honey, Barbeque Babylon, Ranch Cream or Caribbean Sass.

Foot Solomon – A big hot dog for big appetites. Ladies love this succulent plump sausage crammed with flavor and meat. Men like it too and here at Sheba’s, we don’t judge! Put whatever you want in your mouth! It’s all about the love.

Foot Solomon come with Western Romp Chili on a toasted bun. If you ask for ketchup on this perfect dog, we just might hurt you.

Venus Salad– Other places offer stale salads crammed inside a boring plastic package. At Sheba’s, all our salads are made the moment you order them by a busty vegetarian that wants you to eat healthy. All Venus Salads contain three kinds of lettuce, cucumbers, tomatoes, carrots croutons, and come in our special Venus Clam Bowl made of more lettuce but shaped like something that you will want to stick your whole face in. Comes with your choice of suggestive looking dark cheese shavings or not.

Dressings include Sheba House Italian, Ranch Cream, French Delight and Thousand Island because some of you are still eating Thousand Island because you had it as a kid and you have never tried another dressing, but $*#%, at least you are eating salad.

Sides

French Kisses – These fries are hand made in the back of the store by barely legal women who love potatoes. Infer from that what you will.

Nippy Tots – Deep-fried grated potato products shaped like the peak of Sheba’s breast.

Drinks

Sheba Juice – This special blend of five fruits squeezed between the massive breasts of a Sheba employee will quench your thirst and run down your chin.

Sheba Juice has been scientifically proven to improve the flavor of your sexual discharges. (Ref. Von Madd Blind Taste Tests of 2011)

Sheba Shake– No other restaurant can offer a milkshake shook between the thighs of a Sheba employee while she sits in our special Spinner Seat. Each cup comes with a signed photograph of the Sheba employee with your shake between her legs.

Flavors are Chocolate Heaven, Vanilla Daydream and Strawberry Romp

Soda– Sheba’s does not carry soda. For real. That ^$#% is not good for you. We do this because we care about you.

Dessert

Thong Sunday – Two scoops of your choice of vanilla or chocolate ice cream, topped with whipped cream, caramel and a special collector thing worn by a Sheba’s employee. Collect all sixty-nine!