Jul 162014

“Thank you for coming, Dr. Wei,” Dr. Pedwick said. “You come highly recommended for your skills and your discretion.”

Sexual Archeologist Kimberly Wei smiled. “I am always happy to help the High Museum. When we have time later, I would love to browse your collection of Folk Pornography.”

Dr. Pedwick frowned. He also looked disapprovingly at Kimberly’s expansive cleavage. “I am sure something can be arranged, though we prefer to call it Folk Sexual Expression.”

“Of course,” Kimberly said. She decided to release her long black hair from her bun to see if that would upset him too. Her silky hair flew around her head as she gave it a casual toss.

“Let’s go right to the problem, shall we?” Dr. Pedwick said. He turned around and hurried to the basement stairs.

Kimberly suppressed a smile and moved quickly to keep up. “I heard you discovered that the artifact in question has a secret inside?”

“It has several,” Dr. Pedwick said. He unlocked the basement door and led her through twisting corridors of shelves. “We recently x-rayed the artifact along with the others in the collection. We were surprised to discover that the interior was filled with gears and mechanisms that were baffling to understand. Even more interesting was that a scroll appears to be secured inside the artifact. It became obvious that what we thought was a curiosity was in fact a sort of puzzle box.”

“I have cracked a few puzzles in my time,” Kimberly said. Dr. Pedwick froze in his tracks. “And left them intact of course.”

“Good,” Dr. Pedwick said as he resumed walking. He had gone pale for a moment. “I don’t need to remind you that this artifact is priceless and belonged to one of the most important men in history.”

“And yet it might never be shown in an exhibit because of the prudishness of museums and their sponsors,” Kimberly said.

Dr. Pedwick ignored her entirely accurate observation. “Here we are,” he said. He unlocked another door and led them into a small room.

Sitting on a table under a single light was the artifact. It was a foot tall and covered in small metal scales. Two heavy balls formed the base of the artifact that leaned ever so slightly to the left. The tip was as wide as Kimberly’s gasping mouth. Two chairs sat to the side, waiting to be used.

“Da Vinci’s Cock,” she whispered.

“We prefer the term, Da Vinci’s Penile Facsimile,” Dr. Pedwick said.

Kimberly laughed. “Of course. Alright Doctor, I can take it from here. You may go. I will let you know if I unlock it.”

Dr. Pedwick made a face. “I thought I would be assisting you.”

Kimberly shook her head. “I work better alone. Besides, what would your colleagues think if they found out you assisted a sex archeologist?”

“Quite true,” Dr. Pedwick said. “Very well. Be sure to use the gloves in the box there and observe strict handling protocols. It is a priceless artifact.”

“And a pretty cock,” Kimberly said.

Dr. Pedwick made another face and left. The door clicked behind him.

“Be sure to use the gloves,” Kimberly mocked. “I’ve been on more digs and sites than he ever has!” She pulled out the latex gloves and put them on with a simmering fury.

After the gloves were on, Kimberly picked up Da Vinci’s Cock. It was heavy. The metal scales covered it from balls to tip. She tried pressing on a few of the scales and felt a little give. Yes, there were definitely some pressure points.

She tried a few twists like the kind that opened First Emperor’s Chastity Cage. That didn’t work.

She tilted the cock from side to side to see if counterweights would unlock it like it did with Madam Curie’s Radium Vibrator. That didn’t work.

She tried pressed the cock around the shaft to see if there was a secret button like there was on George Washington’s personal handcuffs. That didn’t work.

Kimberly frowned. Well, she didn’t expect it to be easy but it was always nice when it was. She set the cock down on the table and took a seat on a chair.

The cock leaned proudly on the table. The scales caught the light like a phallic disco ball.

Kimberly reached out and cupped one of the balls. They were larger than real life but still exquisitely shaped. It took a craftsman like Leonardo to make balls this realistic.

There was a click from the cock. Kimberly froze, her palm still cupping the ball.

“Hmm,” she said. She put her other hand to work cupping the other ball. Nothing happened.

Kimberly carefully rubbed the two large balls. She could feel the cold metal through her gloves but she was gentle as if she was rubbing flesh. She closed her eyes and imagined that both balls were warm and soft as she rubbed.


She opened her eyes. It was hard to tell, but the cock looked like it was a little bit straighter. She kept rubbing the balls to see if she could create any more clicks.

Nothing happened.

Kimberly let go of the balls and reached for the shaft. She got a firm grip and tugged it across the table towards her.


“Oh, you liked that?” she asked the cock. She tightened her grip and slowly stroked down the length of the cock.


“You are a dirty puzzle cock, aren’t you?” Kimberly asked. She tugged up the cock all the way to the tip.


She tugged back down. Nothing happened. She stroked back up. Nothing happened. She quickened her pace and pumped the cock a few times. Nothing.

Leonardo Da Vinci was a master of many things but people were hung up on his drawings and his secret codes about who was married to whom. They overlooked his other skills like his unparalleled work in pressure plates and mechanism sensitivity. Kimberly had a thought on what she needed to do next.

“Oh, just like a man. They are always greedy.”

Kimberly leaned forward. She was glad that Dr. Pedwick wasn’t here. He would lose his shit.

She opened her mouth and her tongue darted out. She gave the tip of the metal cock a single lick.


Kimberly smiled and licked again, this time under the rim of the cock’s tip.


Kimberly kept licking. She licked the slit of the cock’s head. She took a long loving lick of the perimeter of the cock’s tip. She stretched her mouth and managed to get the tip of the cock into her mouth.

Click. Click. Click.

Now she was sure that the cock was moving. It straightened and no longer leaned to the left. The girth increased ever so slightly.

Kimberly kept licking. She ran her tongue down the length of the cock. She planted little kisses on the large balls. She nibbled her way back up the cock’s tip, her teeth biting ever so gently.

Click. Click. Click.

The metal cock wasn’t the only thing changing. Kimberly’s sex was damp. There was a heat between her legs that was responding to the genius of the cock’s crafter. She wished that she was sucking Leonardo’s real cock but this would do.

A gloved hand undid her pants. She shifted as she slipped latex covered fingers down past her panties, down past her trimmed bush and down into her sex.

Kimberly groaned onto the cock.


She opened her mouth as wide as she could and tried to take the cock into her mouth. It was too big. She choked on it as her lips struggled. Spit ran down the sides.

Click. Click. Click.

She plunged her fingers in and out of her sex. She imagined Leonardo looking down on her as she sucked his cock. She pictured his cock growing to immense sizes within her mouth. She fantasized about the groans he would make. Her fingers made wet squishy sounds in the secured basement room.

Squish. Squish. Squish.

Kimberly stopped trying to swallow the cock and instead showered it with kisses. Wet lips rubbed against the head of the cock. Her darting tongue traced facsimiles of veins in the metal shaft. Hot breath washed over the straightening artifact.

Click. Click. Click.

She stopped kissing the cock and pressed it to her cleavage. The heavy cock was slick from her spit. She stroked herself faster as she enjoyed the weight of the metal cock. Her mouth opened her tongue licked the tip as it nestled between her tits.

Squish. Squish. Squish.

The cock expanded in size. The metal scales shifted as she kept licking. Kimberly’s fingers rubbed harder against her clit. Her long black hair fell on the balls and a hinge appeared on the cock. The seat shook as Kimberly fingered herself.

Click. Squish. Click. Squish.

One long suck on the head of the cock and a panel opened. Kimberly kept sucking as a small rolled up scroll fell out of the cock. She trembled as a wave of triumph swept over her followed quickly by an orgasm deep in her sex.

Kimberly moaned. With shaking hands, she pushed the cock away from her mouth. It shined with her spit. With trembling fingers, she pulled her fingers out of her sex. They glistened with her juices.

She pulled her gloves off and put on new ones. Still breathing hard, she reached across and picked up the scroll. She carefully unfolded it to see what Da Vinci had hidden away all these years.

It was a small sketch. The famous face of the Mona Lisa looked back at Kimberly, as well as her bare breasts, wide hips, hairy bush and the deeply embedded metal cock inside of her. Kimberly was amazed. Somehow she had managed to get that monster metal cock inside her.

“Certainly explains the smile,” Kimberly said.

May 072014

“This isn’t what it looks like,” Gerald said.

Kimberly Wei, sexual archeologist, was skeptical. “It looks like you stuck your dick inside an ancient Roman statue,” she said.

“Well yes,” Gerald admitted. Her assistant’s face was a crimson mask of blushing. “But I swear, she was alive a moment ago. It was when she heard you coming that she turned into a statue.”

“Mm-hmm,” Kimberly said. She examined the statue. It was a marble sculpture of a woman on her back with her legs spread wide. The details were exquisitely lifelike from the mole on the left breast to the slight curve of the statue’s big toe. The altar beneath the marble woman depicted a ritual of Bacchus that Kimberly as unfamiliar with.

Kimberly bound her long black hair into a ponytail before taking a look at where Gerald was stuck. It was hard to see past all of his pubic hair but it appeared that his thick cock was encased in the marble vagina of the statue. Kimberly was impressed with the craftsmanship of the statue’s vagina. Every fold of her labia was meticulously sculpted.

“You know this archeological site was only unearthed last week because of that freak landslide, right?” Kimberly said.

“I know,” Gerald said.

“And that we were very lucky to have been invited to help excavate and evaluate this temple?” Kimberly said. “In fact, if it wasn’t for the fact that there is an abundance of pornographic murals in this temple, they would have just examined it themselves instead of calling in sex archeologists.”

“I know,” Gerald said sheepishly. His cock pulsed inside the marble and he winced.

“So it is really unprofessional to stick your dick inside a statue that hasn’t even been examined properly yet,” Kimberly said. “

“I’m telling you, she was alive a moment ago!” Gerald said. “She came to life and said that she was here to aid in the coming grape harvest. Her name was Marsha.”

“That is not even remotely a Roman name,” Kimberly said.

“I wasn’t going to correct a statue that came to life on her name!” Gerald snapped.

Kimberly smirked. It wasn’t like her assistant to get snarky. Maybe the marble grip around his cock was making him testy.

“So you can’t pull out?” she asked.

“No, I’ve tried,” he said.

“It is an altar statue,” Kimberly said. “It probably needs an offering before letting go. You should climax.”

Gerald made a face. “It is pretty tight and cold in here. I can’t possible come here. I am not even sure why I still have an erection.”

“Hmm,” Kimberly said. “I have a solution.” She went to her workcase and took out one of her latex gloves to put on.

“Do you think there is a release mechanism in the statue?” Gerald asked.

“There is a release mechanism, but it isn’t in the statue,” Kimberly said. She took out a bottle of Von Madd Ultra-lube and squirted it onto her gloved fingers.

“Wait, why do you have a bottle of lube in your workcase?” Gerald asked.

“You’re not the first archeologist who has gotten his cock stuck in something ancient and pretty,” Kimberly said. “Penis related abrasions are the second most common archeologist injury right behind poison darts.”

“So we’re going to lube up my cock?” Gerald asked.

Kimberly smiled. Dimples appeared on her Asian face. “This isn’t for your cock,” she said.

Gerald watched as she stepped behind him. He felt warm slippery fingers open his ass. The blush on his face deepened in a dark scarlet.

“Whoa!” Gerald yelled.

Kimberly pushed inside his ass. She was surprised at how tight he was. She would have thought that a college student would be more adventurous. Her ass resisted but Kimberly’s gloved fingers were persistent.

“You need to relax,” Kimberly said. “Tell me more about Marcie.”

“Her name was Marsha,” Gerald said. He grunted and tried to remember. “She long black hair, like your’s. She was naked of course, and she sat on the altar. She called me by my name and offered herself to me. She told me I could touch her wherever I wanted.”

Kimberly slid her fingers deeper in Gerald’s ass. He was slowly unclenching. “And where did you touch her?”

“I grabbed her tits,” Gerald said.

“Of course you did,” Kimberly said. “How did they feel? Like marble?” Her fingers slid deeper into Gerald’s tight ass.

Gerald grunted. “No, they are soft. I told you that she came to life.”

“Yes, that is what you said,” Kimberly said.

“I can’t believe that you don’t believe me!” Gerald said. “Remember that time I turned into a were-jaguar? Or that time that mummy went down on you? We see weird shit all the time! We’re archeologists!”

Kimberly slid her fingers deeper into Gerald’s ass. He let out a loud groan. Kimberly felt her finger get drawn into his ass. She crooked her finger and searched for a small oblong protrusion. She found it easily.

“It is like you said,” Kimberly said. “We see weird shit but today, I just see a guy with his cock inside a statue.”

“She was real, I’m telling you,” Gerald said. “Oh, that feels good! She said that she had waited ages for a man.”

“I didn’t know you spoke Latin?” Kimberly said. She rubbed the found gland in a gentle circle.

“She was speaking English,” Gerald said. “She’s a fucking magic statue! She can speak whatever she wants!”

“Look, its Occam’s razor,” Kimberly said. She rubbed faster. “What is more likely; that you fucked a magic woman who turned into a statue when I came into the room, or I caught a student fucking a statue?”

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck!” Gerald cried. His ass clenched around Kimberly’s finger. His cock exploded and released a load of seed into the statue. Gerald yelled his orgasm and then popped out of the statue.

“Thank fucking God!” Gerald yelled. He grabbed his cock with both hands as if he would never let go of it again.

Kimberly pulled her fingers out of Gerald’s ass. “Thank Professor Smith,” she said as she disposed of the glove. “He taught me that trick when got his dick stuck in a false Grail.”

Jan 292014

Queen Secmis slumbered. The rituals had been denied her. Instead of having her body dismembered according to tradition, her brother/husband/king had ruled that she be mummified without honor. She died wrapped in cloth hearing the screams of her beloved.

Anubis did not appear to weigh her heart.

The afterlife eluded her.

Queen Secmis dreamed of her loved one. She dreamed of warm thighs and dusky skin. A never ending river of pleasure flowed from between the queen’s thighs. Her tongue grew thirsty for something sweeter than water. Endless dreams were her life.

She heard sounds. The cracking of rock. Strange voices and stranger words.

She felt herself be moved. She felt the sway of camels. She felt the rocking of a boat. She felt the rumble of a thing she did not know.

More strange voices speaking so many words that she didn’t understand.

The silence returned. Queen Secmis returned to the sleep of dreams.


Kimberly Wei, sexual archeologist, gently applied the calipers to the bust of the mummy. The wrappings had carefully preserved the ancient breasts for thousands of years but no one had even taken a measurement. It simply just wasn’t done at these proper museums which is why Kimberly was doing it. She understood that such a magnificent bust wouldn’t have been so protected if it wasn’t important to the people who wrapped the mummy.

“I estimate the bust to be 42D,” Kimberly said out loud.

She waited for confirmation from her assistant, Gerald. All she heard were snores.

Kimberly shook her head. Gerald was out cold. Well, it had been a late night. She and Gerald had been working on this Mummy since early this morning and it as now pushing midnight. Honestly, she was surprised that he had lasted this long.

Kimberly still had plenty of energy. This was a rare opportunity for her. When the British Museum of Egyptian Antiquities asked her to examine the mummy of the Unknown Queen, Kimberly had jumped at the chance. The Unknown Queen had been acquired in 1923 but the obscene nature of her sarcophagus had intimidated the archeologists of the time. Besides, her name had been removed from the official records of her era, so how important could she be? This mummy had lain here in the Museum storage room for ages.

She leaned back and took a look at the sarcophagus again. An endless series of cocks have been carved into the stone. Fat cocks, thin cocks, cocks that leaned, cocks that stood straight, limp cocks, hard cocks, cocks with rings, cocks with jewels, cocks with ridges, cocks that were smooth and cocks with veins surrounded the sarcophagus. It was just the kind of thing that male archeologists averted their eyes from and museums stored far away from public eyes.

“Why so many cocks?” Kimberly asked. It didn’t make sense. Actually, not a lot about the Unknown Queen made sense. She was found in a burial chamber far away from the King she was married to. There were no pots holding her organs. There were no treasures for her to take into the afterlife. Only one servant was buried near her and that was of another woman who’s corpse was mangled.

“The Unknown Queen was in serious disfavor with her husband,” Kimberly said out loud.

Gerald’s snores didn’t add much to the conversation.

Kimberly leaned back in her chair and looked at Unknown Queen’s body. The tight wrappings revealed a shapely body. Heavy breasts had survived the ravages of time. Wide hips tapered down to long legs. She would have been a beauty.

A familiar heat blossomed between Kimberly’s legs. There was a tingling in her nipples. Lurid thoughts danced through her mind.

“She must have been an adulterer,” Kimberly said. Her hand drifted down to her shorts. “As pretty she was, I bet she had no shortage of admirers.”

Kimberly tried to imagine how bored a Queen might be. Pampered, cared for and powerful yet ultimately an object of statehood. How easy it must be to loose one’s self in an affair.

Kimberly slipped her hand under her shorts. She was tired. She was too excited for sleep. She had spent the day examining the remains of a beautiful woman. Her body was aroused and Kimberly was just tired enough to rub one out while her assistant slept at his desk.

She unbuttoned her shorts and pulled them down. She ran her fingers through her hairy sex. A moan escaped her lips as her fingernails brushed her lips.

Queen Secmis heard a sound. It was different from the strange voices and the click tick of things she did not know. This sound she knew.

It was a moan.

Kimberly blushed with the wrongness of what she was doing. She was a guest in the British Museum of Egyptian Antiquities; she shouldn’t be masturbating like some sort of sex freak. She certainly shouldn’t be masturbating right next to the mummy of the Unknown Queen. Most of all, she really shouldn’t be masturbating so close to her sleeping assistant. Gerald might think it was an invitation.

All of these thoughts just made her stroke faster. She unbuttoned her shirt with one hand and pulled a breast from the cup of her bra. She pinched her nipple and shuddered.

All of those thoughts were perfectly good reasons to stop so she thought of a few reasons to keep going. She was doing the Museum a favor by examining a Mummy they were too prudish to check out. The Unknown Queen was long dead and wouldn’t mind her pleasure. As for Gerald, well this is what he misses for falling asleep.

Kimberly plunged her fingers inside her sex.

Queen Secmis heard the wonderful sounds of a wet delta. Her tongue ached with thirst. Her own delta began to flow after ages of dryness.

A smell came to her. After ages of dust, stone and death, this new smell was from paradise. It was the smell of a woman in heat.


Kimberly squeezed her breast as she stroked her pussy. She looked at the mummy of the Unknown Queen and tried to imagine her life. Did she sleep with the woman that was found in her chamber? Yes, that was most likely. The cocks painted on her sarcophagus were some sort of ancient lesbian shaming.

The Unknown Queen liked women. She probably would have liked Kimberly. They would have been lovers in secret until tragically found and executed.

Kimberly almost cried out but she bit her lip hard to keep quiet.


Queen Secmis shuddered. She knew that sound. Tawa had made that sound while in her arms. It was the sound of pleasure bitten back by teeth and lips.

Queen Secmis slept no more.


Kimberly paused in midstroke. There was a sound of cracking paper. There was a charge in the air. There was a smell of sex that did not come from Kimberly.

The mummy of the Unknown Queen sat up. The ancient bindings held on as the body rose to her feet. The Mummy turned and stepped out of her sarcophagus.

Kimberly pulled her fingers out of her sex. The mummy tilted her head as if listening.

Kimberly released her breast. The mummy took a step towards her.

Kimberly licked her lips and debated what to do.

The mummy knelt down before Kimberly. Wrappings parted to reveal a jaw opening. Dark lips glistened as a red tongue licked them.

Gerald kept snoring.

Kimberly’s heart was pounding. She was a sex archeologist; this wasn’t her first mysterious resurrection of an ancient corpse. It was her first mummy and she wasn’t sure what to do. There was no training for this.

Kimberly Wei parted her legs. Sometimes it was best to go by instincts.

The mummy crawled forward on her knees. Cloth covered hands grabbed Kimberly’s thighs. The mummy’s head dipped down towards her sex.

“Oh God,” Kimberly whispered. The mummy was as cold as stone but her mouth was as warm as the desert. Hot lips nibbled on her sex while a nimble tongue lapped at her.

The mummy drank from Kimberly’s pussy. Kimberly almost grabbed the mummy’s head but remembered how fragile mummies are. She grabbed her own breasts instead; her fingers sinking into her ample flesh as she sought to control herself.

The mummy lapped at her sex. Wider and wider the mummy pushed Kimberly’s thighs as the tongue went deeper and deeper inside her. The mummy didn’t need to breathe as it licked, licked, licked and licked.

Kimberly squirmed in pleasure. She had never felt a tongue so nimble. She had never been devoured so utterly. She had never been eaten by someone who had waited ages to taste pussy again.

“Oh, oh, oh, yes!” Kimberly whispered. She felt her orgasm ripple through body. Her toes curled. Her fingers clenched painfully hard around her breasts. Her teeth bit hard into her lip. The pleasure exploded thought her body and Kimberly loss consciousness.

Kimberly awoke in her chair. Her seat was drenched. Gerald still snored.

The mummy of the Unknown Queen rested in her sarcophagus. Kimberly stood up on shaking knees and approached it. She looked at the mouth and it appeared dried and cracked.

“Did I just imagine the whole thing?” she whispered out loud.

That was when she saw the delicate hand prints on her thighs.

Queen Secmis slumbered. It was a deep sleep devoid of strange voices and stranger words.

She dreamed of a hairy oasis that quenched her thirst.

Dec 252013

Kimberly Wei, sexual archeologist, rubbed her eyes. The symbols on the bones were starting to blur into one another. The humid air of the Brazilian rain forest plastered her long black hair to her neck and shoulders. She pulled her hair into a ponytail. That made it easier to rub her scalp and soothe some of the tension that had been building in her neck.

The tension wasn’t just in her neck. The tension originated between her thighs. The carvings of the bones that she had been studying depicted a complex rite that was obviously related to fertility. The bones were covered with tiny depictions of men and women copulating in all sorts of flexible positions. Kimberly had spent the last six hours looking at sexual acts that she wasn’t sure were physically impossible. It was turning her on and making her thighs damper than the rain forest. The men especially seemed to be enormously endowed.

That wasn’t unusual. Ancient people might draw a human figure as simply as a stick figure but they would draw genitals with the descriptive enthusiasm of a teenager. Kimberly would know for she was an archeologist with a specialty in sexual customs. Archeology tended to ignore anything that was the least bit lewd as museums don’t like to show exhibits that are mostly cock and pussy. Kimberly had made it her career to examine and study what most archeologists stuff into a brown box.

The light in her lamp dimmed for a moment and plunged the tent into darkness. The light came back on but it was worrying. Kimberly and her assistant were deep in the Brazilian Rain forest and a supply run for batteries would take days. They were only on day three of the dig and Kimberly didn’t want to spare a moment from her discoveries. She could send Gerald by himself but she doubted he could find his way. He was an excellent student of archeology but he had the direction sense of a drunk chicken.

Kimberly returned her attention to the bones. The one she was studying was confusing. There were no women depicted but there were a lot of men. Some men had small cocks while others had large cocks. The large cock men also had the head of cats which might depict spirits or holy men.

She turned the bone over. The carvings seemed odd until she realized that the entire bone was depicting a cock. Weird ridges and strange bumps decorated the bone. It looked familiar somehow.

“Oh wait,” Kimberly said out loud. She liked to talk to herself out loud so she could have an intelligent conversation. “This looks like that stone that I found earlier.” It had been found among the bones. She had Gerald working on cleaning it up.

Kimberly wondered if Gerald was still awake. More importantly, she wondered if he had finished cleaning the stone phallus. It wouldn’t hurt to check in on his tent and find out. She wanted a good look at the phallus so she could picture it when she masturbated before sleeping.

She left her tent. The camp fire was still burning. The sounds of the forest embraced and surrounded her. There was so much life out there in the trees.

The light was off in Gerald’s tent. Kimberly unzipped the front flap and stuck her head inside. “Gerald? Are you awake?”

A shape leaped at her. She was tackled to the ground. Kimberly lifted her knee twice into her attacker’s groin and slammed her elbow into their face. The attacker didn’t budge.

The creature growled and the camp fire illuminated the monster. A jaguar head stared down at her but powerful human hands gripped her shoulders. Something large and heavy slammed against her thighs and she looked down. The large heavy thing was the beast’s cock.

Kimberly slammed her knee into the cock. The beast howled and stood up. Kimberly scooted backwards on her back and rolled onto her feet. She was an archeologist; this wasn’t her first midnight attack by a strange monster. Whatever this was, she would deal with it.

She got her first look at the monstrosity. Jaguar head, human body and monster cock were the most obvious traits. Less obvious was the boxers that the giant cock had burst through. Even less was the compass hanging on a chain around the neck of the creature. The scar on the chest was the final clue. It was the same scar that her assistant had when those Creationists threw a brick at them in Tennessee. This monster was Gerald!

“Good boy,” Kimberly said softly.

The monster roared. Its cock throbbed and bounced between his legs.

“Very good boy?” Kimberly tried.

The beast took a step forward and claws extended from his fingers.

There was a shotgun in her pack. It was back in her tent and she would have to get by the jaguar monster to get it, but she would if she had to. Before she resorted to that though, she had to give Gerald one more chance to take control of whatever had happened to him. She needed to appeal to him personally.

“Gerald, you are my best assistant,” she said.

The creature took another step closer. He bared his teeth which suddenly had a lot more canines.

“Gerald, you really don’t want to rape and kill me,” she said.

The creature roared and his cock stood fully erect.

Kimberly shook her head. She was going about this wrong. She didn’t need to appeal to his humanity. She needed to appeal to the beast in him.

“Would you like to look at my tits?” Kimberly asked.

The creature stopped in its tracks.

“I know you have been looking at them,” Kimberly said. Her hands cupped her tits. “The sweatier I get, the more you stare at my chest. You are not very subtle, you know, but just this once, I’ll let you get a peek. Would you like that?”

“Yessss,” the monster snarled.

Kimberly nodded and reached for the bottom of her shirt. In one fluid motion, she pulled it over her head and tossed it aside. Her tits hung snugly in her sports bra.

“Come closer and I will take my bra off,” Kimberly said.

The creature walked towards her. The claws retracted. The beast’s nose was twitching as he walked and Kimberly hoped that he wasn’t smelling the musk between her legs.

The beast was a foot away from her when she reached for her bra. Kimberly pulled on the bottom of her bra and let her brown breasts flop out. The beast purred as her firm tits were revealed. She tossed the bra to the side.

“Would you like to kiss them?” Kimberly asked. “Only kiss, no hands” she said.

The creature was enough of her assistant to obey her. The monster dipped his head down and his long feline tongue came out. Rough sandpaper licked her hard nipple.

Kimberly shivered. A fresh surge of arousal between her legs gave her ideas.

She reached out and grabbed the beast’s cock. She couldn’t even get her fingers around it.

The beast purred.

“You can kiss me again,” Kimberly said.

The creature licked her other nipple. Rough sandpaper brushed against her breast and lifted it.

Kimberly stroked the beast’s cock. The air was humid and moisture was already clinging to the cock. Her hand glided all the way up to the tip of his enormous phallus.

The creature purred and licked faster. The rasping tongue was all over her tits. It scraped and tasted the top of her tits, the bottom of her tits and the sweaty canyon between them.

Kimberly stroked faster. She used both hands and was able to encircle the cock. She slid her hands all the way down to the enormous ball sack.

The creature purred louder. It bent down and opened its jaws wide.

“No teeth!” Kimberly snapped.

The monster’s ears flattened and its mouth closed. It resumed licking. The rough tongue flicked back and forth between her hard nipples.

Kimberly’s archeologist mind studied the beast. It bore a striking resemblance to the cat creatures in the bones. Maybe the phallus that Gerald was cleaning was some sort of fertility artifact. Perhaps the ancient people had used the item as a sort of male aphrodisiac. It certainly cured her shy assistant of his inhibitions.

She looked down at the giant cock in her hands. Kimberly tried to imagine the primitive woman that could take such a cock. Maybe there was an artifact for the women to use.

The monster purred and Kimberly stopped her speculation. The creature was breathing hard and leaning against her. It buried its face in her long black hair and was sniffing her neck.

Kimberly stroked faster. Her hands tightened around the enormous phallus. She stroked him from base to tip with a quickening speed.

The beast roared. Seed erupted from the monster’s cock and splattered Kimberly’s shorts. Enough seed to fill a bucket poured forth.

Then the beast bit down. Without warning, it clamped onto her shoulder. Pain blossomed from the numerous sharp teeth and Kimberly worried that the monster would crack her shoulder with the power of its bite.

Steam poured off the monster. Kimberly felt difference in mass as the monster reverted back to a human shape. The pressure of the teeth subsided to the pressure of a normal bite until it was just a limp Gerald biting on her shoulder.

“Enough of that,” Kimberly said. She shook the seed from her hands and gently pushed Gerald back. He collapsed to the ground. A loud snore came from his open mouth.

Kimberly shook her head. That was her Gerald. There was many a night that she had heard him jacking off in his tent followed shortly by the sound of snoring. That was why she knew the best way to beast the beast was to simply get it off. The trick was making him settle for a handjob instead of a pelvis destroying fuck.

“Good thing I am a sex archeologist,” she said.