Jun 012016

A close-up of the escort cruiser appeared on the main screen. Engines flared as it turned for an attack run. The ship wobbled a little as the port engine failed but it quickly compensated. Energy shields flicked to cover and contain the large gaping hole we had inflicted in the hull.

My crew on the bridge had plenty of opinions on this development.

“They should have ran for it,” Morella, my First Mate said.

“Awfully loyal for mercenaries,” Skeven said from his engine station.

“Maybe they’re just pissed off,” Murder Girl said from the helm.

“Stupid shits!” Venda, my cyborg parrot, said from my shoulder.

“No, they’re just dead now,” I said. “Take them out.”

“Aye, Captain.”

The escort cruiser wasn’t waiting for my order. Multiple weapon ports opened with grim menace. Laser beams leaped forward, followed by twin balls of flaming plasma and far behind them, the steady flights of ship-killing missiles. It threw everything it had at us.

It was hopeless. Our shields refracted the lasers. A slight change of course evaded the plasma shots. Anti-missile missiles intercepted the missiles. All we felt was a slight shudder on the bridge as the shockwaves of distant explosions reached us.

Meanwhile, our own weapons responded. A storm of lasers overcame their shields and carved through their hull. Three high-mass projectiles disintegrated the front of the cruiser. Several missiles slowly homed in on the crippled ship and blew it apart. Their defiance was over and we will never know why they kept fighting.

“Captain, Blastpants, the Lube Convoy is hailing us,” One Eye Peter reported. “They wish to surrender their cargo in exchange for their lives.”

“I bet they do,” I said. “Tell the Convoy to shut down their engines and wait for our requisition crews.”

“And tell the crew leaders that I want full inventory reports within two hours!” Morella added.

“Aye,” One Eye Peter said and he relayed our orders.

A rare silence fell on the bridge crew. We had spotted the convoy just thirty minutes ago. Ten minutes later, we intercepted them and five minutes after that; the only escort ship was dead. The value of the lube was going to be high and the risk had been relatively low. We should be celebrating but instead, we were down and subdued like we were the ones just hijacked by pirates.

I looked Morella and she looked at me. We recognized the feeling. When you get used to fighting for your lives, you get used to the thrill. Killing an enemy too quickly was just as bad as climaxing right after entering someone’s mouth: you might be technically satisfied but you are still itching to fuck something over.

Fortunately, Morella and I were old hands at this.

“Any thoughts on our fight?” I asked Morella.

A cruel smile came to her lips. “I am a bit concerned about that last attack from the escort,” she said. “The missiles came close enough that we felt their explosions.”

Morella and I turned to the junior bridge officer on defense duty. Smart-Ass looked up from her console. We called her smart because despite her young age, she already had four degrees in the sciences. We called her ass because she had a fabulous one. She joined us when we stopped at a pleasure station. I think she said she was on spring break, whatever that meant. Her quick mind and knowledge of missile systems earned her a fast promotion to the bridge.

“I’m sorry,” Smart-Ass said. She nervously pushed her short blonde hair away from her eyes.

“Call him, Captain!” Morella snapped.

“Yes! Sorry, Captain!” Smart-Ass said. “I don’t know why the missiles got as close as they did!”

“You don’t?” I said. I walked over to her console and stared down at her. It was an old command trick, stare at a subordinate long enough and they’ll think of something for you to punish them for. For once, my cyborg bird was quiet and stared down at her too. I like to think that made us more intimidating.

“Uh,” Smart-Ass said as her mind raced. “I only activated eighty percent of the missile defense pods to save power usage, Captain. I didn’t think we needed full defenses against a cruiser using an obvious Veeker hull with the standard weapon configuration.”

I had no idea what she was referring to. For all I knew, she could have been right. I wasn’t going to admit that because I was never one to let facts get in the way of a good punishment.

“First Mate,” I snapped. “Correct me if I am wrong, but didn’t I order full defenses?”

“Aye, Captain!” Morella said. Her smile grew bigger.

“Did I order ‘full but partial if you noticed some fucking detail’, defenses?”

“No, Captain!” Morella said. She cracked her knuckles.

“I’m really sorry, Captain!” Smart-Ass said.

“It’s not just me you endangered, but the whole ship!” I said. “Are you going to apologize to the entire crew as well?”

Murder Girl snickered. She always had a giggling problem. I just hoped Smart-Ass didn’t pick up on it.

She didn’t. The young student was genuinely repentant. Her big blue eyes were wide and her face was paler than usual.

“I will gladly apologize to the crew, Captain!” Smart-Ass said. “It will never happen again!”

“Damn right it won’t,” I said. I tried to sound angry but I almost laughed out loud. Murder Girl’s giggles were infectious!

Fortunately, Morella never had a problem with levity. She lunged forward and grabbed Smart-Ass by her short hair. A hard push and Smart Ass was lifted from her seat and thrown onto her console. Morella pulled the junior officer until her legs were hanging off the side. My clever First Officer even had the presence of mind to turn off the console so Smart-Ass’ wiggling body wouldn’t activate anything.

It was my turn. I grabbed Smart-Ass’ always tight pants and yanked them down. They were snug but I was persistent. Her pants came down to reveal her cute round butt covered in a flimsy green pair of panties.

The bridge crew groaned as if with one voice. That was a pretty ass. We just needed to get rid of those panties.

“Venda, attack,” I commanded.

Venda hopped off my shoulder and flew down to Smart-Ass’ butt. The bird grabbed a beak full of panties and snipped through it. Again and again the cyborg bird pecked and pecked as it ripped the panties to shreds.

Smart-Ass cried out as Venda’s sharp beak pricked her but the girl was smart enough not to struggle too much. She couldn’t help wiggling and clenching though and I for one enjoyed her every flinch.

When there were no more panties to shred, Venda hopped away with the last of the green cloth. I am not sure what she does with it but it wasn’t any of my business. For all I know, she has a secret nest made of panty shreds. Let her have her secret pirate stash.

“Skeven, hold her arms,” Morella commanded. The bridge officer eagerly took his place in front of Smart-Ass. He grabbed her wrists with his big thick hands. She wasn’t going anywhere.

“Since you noticed her error, you start first,” I told Morella.

“Aye, Captain,” Morella said.

“Start what?” Smart-Ass said.

WHAP! Morella smacked Smart-Ass right on her smart little ass.

“Fuck!” Smart-Ass yelled. She jumped but Skeven held onto her arms.

WHAP! WHAP! WHAP! Morella tore into Smart-Ass. This wasn’t her first bridge spanking. The First Mate had powerful arms and a willingness to use them. She left bright red hand prints wherever she struck. Each blow threatened to knock Smart-Ass off the console. Like everything Morella did, it was an act of precision violence.

Smart-Ass squirmed, wiggled and writhed but there was no escape. She screamed, cried and shouted. Her ass clenched, quivered and shuddered.

It was a brutal spanking. Morella took her time and obliterated the girl’s ass. The bridge crew watched in silence because you want to give a beating like that the respect that it deserves.

ITen minutes later, held up my hand. Morella stopped and stepped back. She shook her hand and I knew it stung but not nearly as much as Smart-Ass’ bottom was stinging.

“I am so sorry, Captain!” smart-Ass yelled.

“Good,” I said. “You better stay sorry.”

WHACK! It was my turn. I brought my hand down in a slow lazy swing that connected with her red bottom. Her ass was hot to the touch. It was a light hit but I knew her sensitive ass wouldn’t be able to take it.

“Lords of Space!” Smart-Ass screamed. She almost jumped off the console. Skeven got a better grip and One Eye Peter helped him. They pinned her down in place.

WHACK! I struck her again. Unlike Morella, I wanted to take my time.

She was a joy to watch. Her bright red ass clenched before every slap. My slaps sent shockwaves through her tight bottom. After each hit, I let my fingers linger on her burning skin before pulling back for another swing.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry!” Smart-Ass yelled.

“You didn’t say, Captain,” Murder Girl added.

“Captain!” Smart-Ass screamed as I spanked her again.

“I am so sorry, Captain!” she screamed as I slapped her ass.

“I will never do it again, Captain!” she yelled as I gave her bottom another smack.

Morella grabbed her by the hair and yanked her head back. Smart-Ass’s eyes glittered with tears. I rested my hand on her bottom and let it warm my fingers.

“Are you sorry enough to make it up to your fellow crew?” Morella asked.

“Yes!” Smart-Ass said. “Wait, how?”

“Good question,” Morella said. “That must be why we call you, smart.” She pressed a button and her shorts fell from her waist to reveal a massive red bush of pubic hair.

Skeven stepped away. Morella stood in front of Smart-Ass and grabbed her hair. She slammed her sex onto smart-Ass’s face while her hands kept Smart-Ass pinned in a steel grip.

Morella shuddered. Her eyes clenched shut. It was an awkward angle, but Smart-Ass made it work.

My intelligent pants unzipped on their own. My hard cock flopped out, ready to board. I kicked apart Smart-Ass’s legs. She lifted her ass towards me. The edge of the console was smeared with her juices.

“Horny slut,” I said. I guided my cock into her waiting sex.

Fuck, she was wet. The heat of her ass burned my flesh where we touched but it was nothing compared to the heat within her. My cock throbbed within her molten sex.

I grabbed her hips and began to fuck her. She was tight so I went slowly. Thrust by thrust, I opened her sex.

The rest of the bridge gathered around. One Eye Peter was stroking his cock. Murder Girl had her shirt off and was pinching her remaining nipple. Skeven had his cock in hand, looking back and forth between smart-Ass’s ass and mouth.

They would get their turn but first it was mine. I picked up the pace, fucking her the slick vault of her sex. My fingers gripped her hips as I slammed into her.

Morella groaned. She turned Smart-Ass’ head to the side as her hips bucked. It was hard to see Smart-Ass’s mouth for all I saw was the jungle of Morella’s bush. Judging from the tightness of Morella’s lips, Smart-Ass made it work.

Skeven decided that he didn’t want to wait anymore and stepped up. He guided Smart-Ass’s hand to his cock and she gripped him. Despite getting smothered by Morella’s sex, Smart-Ass had the dexterity to start stroking Skeven’s member. She had the makings of a great officer.

“Yes!” Morella yelled and she pushed Smart-Ass’s face away from her sex. The First Mate shuddered from head to toe as she leaned against the console. There was a flush to her face and a relaxed smile that I rarely got to see. It made her beautiful.

Murder Girl didn’t care about beauty. She lifted her skirt and stepped up to Smart-Ass’ face. The skirt went over Smart-Ass’ head as she went to work on Murder Girl’s pussy. The junior officer put her free hand under the skirt and judging by Murder’ Girl’s moans, I knew right where they went.

One Eye Peter bit his lips. I felt sorry for him so I pulled out of Smart-Ass and waved him over. The look of appreciation in his eyes was better than precious metals. It was the little things that ensure a pirate’s loyalty.

He grabbed Smart-Ass’ tender buttocks and pulled them apart to expose her tiny asshole. Taking a bottle of lube from his belt, One Eye Peter squirted her ass liberally. He rubbed the lube into her ass and onto his cock. When both were shining, he slid his cock into her ass.

“LORDS OF SPACE!” Smart-Ass screamed from under Murder Girl’s skirt. “Son of a father-fucking cocksucker!”

The crew laughed and never broke their assault on her body. Murder Girl kept Smart-Ass under her skirt. Skeven happily fucked the junior officer’s hand. One Eye Peter steadily buggered her ass.

Morella approached me. There was an odd look on her face that I didn’t recognize. She reached for my cock and I gasped. Her powerful grip stroked my slick member.

“This initiation is going well,” she said, slowly pumping my cock.

I wasn’t sure what to do. We were rarely intimate. Her lack of respect for my bullshit was an important part of why she was a great First Mate. I focused on the conversation instead of the handjob.

“She was overdue,” I said. “She is a fantastic defense operator.”

“And now every time she sits at her post, she’ll remember the time she ate pussy and got fucked,” Morella added. Her gripped changed to a slightly twisting one.

“Ohhh,” I groaned. “It beats getting a fucking stripe on your uniform.’

“Remember when you were elected Captain?” Morella asked. Her thumb slid over the tip of my cock.

“Fuck,” I groaned. “I do. I came four times on my chair. One of those were in your mouth.”

“Mmm,” Morella said. She stroked a little faster.

“Yes!” One-Eye Peter yelled. He came deep in Smart-Ass’ beautiful ass. I doubt any man would have lasted long.

Skeven took his place behind her. He opted for her pussy instead of her sex. He grunted loudly with every thrust into her wet sex.

Murder Girl on the other hand was as quiet as a grave. A slight shudder was the only hint that she had climaxed. It was the same shudder she gave when she killed someone.

Morella’s hand left my cock and went to my balls. Her gentle caresses were so out of character that I moaned with every touch.

“Smart-Ass plans to go back to school,” Morella said.

I laughed. “That is her choice, though I would love to see her use her new pirate skills in academia.”

Murder Girl shuddered again. Her face was devoid of any emotion. There were no giggles now.

Skeven came. He screamed his orgasm and slapped the side of her ass. Muffled cries came out from under Murder Girl’s skirt.

“You should be last,” Morella whispered to me. “Step aside!” she snapped to the crew. ‘Captain needs to come!”

Murder Girl and Skeven disengaged. I walked up to Smart-Ass and gripped my cock. I wanted her mouth.

Smart-Ass looked up at me as she hung limply on her console. Her face was a wet mess of pussy juices. Seed fell from her sex and her asshole. There was a glaze to her eyes and a smile as big as a moon. The smart girl had already figured out that this wasn’t a punishment; it was a welcoming.

“Use me, Captain,” she said.

“He will,” Morella said. She grabbed the back of Morella’s head and pushed it to my cock. I stepped closer and entered her mouth.

Smart-Ass choked. Morella kept her grip on her head and forced her onto my cock. Back and forth she drove Smart-Ass’ head, controlling her motions as she face-fucked me.

I looked at my First Mate and the friendly eyes were gone. She was cruel again and Smart-Ass was the victim. It was fucking hot.

My attention went o Smart-Ass. She looked up at me with grateful eyes. Tears and pussy juice dripped from her face. Her jaw was slack as she was force to suck me. It too was fucking hot.

I came. A cascade of seed flowed out of my cock and into her mouth. Morella held Smart-Ass’ head still as the young woman’s eyes bulged in surprise. Flooded her mouth and she struggled to swallow it all.

“And that is why they call him Captain Blastpants,” Skeven said.

When I was finally done, I wiped my cock on Smart-Ass’ face. Morella released her head and the exhausted woman flopped on her console. My intelligent pants zipped back up and began a hygiene routine on my spent member.

There was a beep from the communicator. Morella checked her chair. “Captain, requisition teams are reporting in. Each team has secured a freighter and are awaiting orders.”

“Good,” I said. I headed back to my chair. ‘Helm, lay in a course for New Fortune. Sensors, keep an eye out for any pirates looking to poach our treasure. Engineering, make the adjustments for escort duty.”

“What about her?” Morella asked, pointing to Smart-Ass who was still laid out across her console.

I shrugged. “Let her rest. She still has her initiation party back at New Fortune to go to.”

Mar 312016

“Asshole!” Venda squawked.

I spun to my right and squeezed the rigger. My laser rifle corrected my aim and fired three pulses of light. The first pulse punched through the slaver’s armor. The second laser seared through some organs. The third pulse set his insides on fire.

The slaver screamed. I slipped another snack to my cyborg parrot.

“That is a kick-ass cyborg parrot, Captain” Levo Two-Cock said.

Levo was right. Venda did kick ass. I usually didn’t take her into battle because when you are a space pirate, most of your fighting is on spaceships that could suddenly decompress into vacuum. I didn’t know all of the upgrades that Venda had but I am pretty sure surviving space wasn’t one of them.

Today was different. We were on an unclaimed moon attacking a slaver’s colony that shouldn’t be here mining something valuable with slaves they shouldn’t have. I brought Venda because slavers are always fucking depressing even if you are killing them.

“Fucker!” Venda squawked and I turned to my left. Three pulses of red light penetrated, seared and incinerated another slaver.

Skinny Ann laughed. “I wonder who programmed Venda’s targeting. Asshole for right and fucker for left; who does that?”

I shrugged. Venda didn’t come with an owner’s manual or a user history index. I stole her from Captain Assfucker and I also took his nose at the time so I can’t exactly call him up and ask questions.

“Armory is secured. Where to now, Captain?” Levo asked.

I checked my communicator. The entire crew was tied into a private social network. Morella, my First Mate, was in orbit aboard the Savage Thrust and had disabled the slaver’s ship. Brownpants had taken over the mine entrance. Jen-4 had hacked the slaver’s own communications and The Pirate-With-No-Name was still trying to liberate the slave pens.

Wait, there was a notification of a private message. Was someone in trouble? I tapped it.

A small hologram appeared. It was two large green tits barely held in by black leather. A slaver’s personal key was wedged into the green cleavage.

A note read: “should I hold onto this or do you want to come get it?”

I checked the sender. It was Glara. She was so new that she didn’t have a nickname yet. I think we picked her up on New Fortune.

The green tits looked really nice. Was she flirting with me? Was she already bored with being a pirate and was looking for a job on my cock?

“Captain?” Skinny Ann asked.

“We’re heading to the slave pens,” I said, closing my communicator. “The Pirate-With-No-Name needs some back up.”

“You heard him!” Levo shouted to the rest of our band. “To the slave pens!”

Outside the armory was fucking chaos. Mining machines rumbled and shuddered as lasers zipped around us. Slaves screamed from the torture poles as my pirates tried to cut them down. Slavers screamed for mercy they would never get.

I don’t know if it was space pirate code to give no mercy to slavers but it sure as fuck was a Captain Blastpants rule.

“Asshole!” Venda squawked. I fired at a slaver to my right. The beam hit him in the crotch and fried him.

DING! I had another private message notice. I growled and checked the sender. It was Glara again.

Needles rained down on us. Slavers love needle weapons. They look nasty and you can load them up with poison. Almost none of the poisons were lethal; they just inflicted a lot of pain.

Levo and I ducked behind cover. The pirate behind me was stabbed by a hundred needles. He screamed in agony and writhed on the ground.

That is what I meant by depressing. The pirate would live but fuck, he was going to need some therapy.

Needles pinged against the mining machine we were hidden behind. Levo and I waited for the needle launcher to pause to reload.

In the meantime, I checked the message from Glara. The leather vest was open and one of her green tits was out. She was pinching her nipple. The nipple and aureole was yellow.

I may have groaned. Cheeky slut.

The pinging stopped. Levo was up in a flash and firing. I was still staring at that hard nipple.

“Got him!” Levo shouted.

“Someone help him!” I yelled at the screaming pirate. Two of my crew was already moving towards him.

We broke cover and went for the slave pens. I got another bell chime and another private message was waiting for me. I shook my head and kept fighting.

Slavers might be sadistic bastards but these guys weren’t cowards. They fought. They stayed organized and kept their heads. I guess you have to have some sort of discipline to keep control of slaves that always outnumber you. The slavers made us work for every meter we took from them.

They still died though.

We cleared a path to the slave pens. At least a dozen slavers died. They killed three of my group. I also received two more private messages.

I was starting to get pissed about the messages. Pirates fuck hard because we work hard. While Glara was fucking with me, she wasn’t killing slavers.

The door to the slave pens were barricaded. The Pirate-With-No-Name was inside with their group fighting slavers. The doors must have locked after they went in. Without a way out, our friends were trapped.

“Get that door open, now!” I yelled.

Some of my pirates stared at the door stupidly. Skinny Ann ran to get a drilling laser. Smart lady. That was leadership thinking.

I checked my messages.

The first message was an image of a dead slaver with his head resting on green tits. The message read, “Wish you were here.”

The second message was another image. It showed three slavers rapidly disintegrating. They must have been hit with a corrosive grenade. The message read “I bet your cock has a bigger blast radius.”

The third message was mostly thick black pubic hair. A slaver’s command card was sliding between her sex lips. There was no text but I was impressed. A command card meant she had killed one of the leaders if not the leader.

“Captain, we nearly have the door open!” Levo said.

I made a command decision. “Good. Skinny Ann, you’re in charge. Go assist the Pirate-With-No-Name and get these slaves freed. I need to investigate something.”

They were a good crew so they obeyed. I checked my communicator to find Glara. She was at a building that our scouts hadn’t identified. Judging from the command card she was currently masturbating with, I was guessing it was probably the command center.

Fuck. That was almost as impressive as her big green tits.

I made a straight line for her. The outside fighting had died down as the slavers were now holed up in fortified positions. There were still plenty of visual stimuli. Slave heads decorated traffic signs. Open pits contained the corpses of disobedient slaves. Blood was everywhere and most of it was dry before we ever landed.

I knew we were doing a good thing freeing these slaves and incidentally, securing a shit load of valuable ore for sale elsewhere, but the fact that slavers exist in this universe was fucking depressing. We have robots, clones and enough aliens who actually enjoy back-breaking labor but there will always be assholes who prefer to enslave someone else to do their work.

Maybe that was why I was looking for Glara. I was upset. I was disturbed. I needed a distraction and this crazy green pirate with the big tits was hitting on me.

Venda warned me of two more slavers before I reached the command post. The building was a bloody mess with casualties in the double digits. I tried to remember who I sent to clear this place but I wasn’t sure I had sent anyone. We didn’t know what was in here so it wasn’t a priority. Could Glara had done it by herself?

“You came,” Glara said when I finally found her. She was in the control room, surrounded by bodies and blinking monitors. Her vest was missing and her pants were neatly folded beside her. She sat on a desk with her legs open and her fingers playing with her sex. The command card was in her hand, soaking wet.

I was impressed. She had courage. If she was any other of my crew, I would have made her an officer right there.

“I came,” I said, setting down my laser rifle. “Your messages were very tempting.”

“Big tits!” Venda squawked. And they were.

Glara smiled. “I tried my best,” she said. “I have had my eye on you ever since I joined the crew.”

“Hmm,” I said, stepping closer. Venda sunk her talons deeper in my shoulder in case I moved quickly.

My hand lunged forward and grabbed her breast. Glara cried out as my fingers tightened around her nipple. A twist and a pull and she stepped closer to me.

“You know that I am the Captain, right?” I whispered. “And during times of battle, you don’t disobey a Captain’s order and you sure as fuck don’t distract him with dirty pictures.

Glara winced but she managed to smile. “Are you saying I was distracting?”

“Harlot!” Venda squawked and she was right. My pinch relaxed around Glara’s nipples.

“Lords of Space, woman,” I said. “I’m serious here. There is-Ukk!”

Glara grabbed my hand and her fingers did something painful to the inside of my wrist. I let go of her and she spun me around, still holding onto my hand. Venda left my shoulder and with a complaining squawk. Glara forced my arm behind my back and my shoulder was ready to pop.

“I’m serious too,” Glara whispered in my ear. Her breast pressed against the back of my trapped hand. I felt the hardness of her nipple.

“I am very serious about fucking you,” she said. Her free hand went to the front of my pants. Green fingers danced against the bulge in my pants.

“This is insubordination,” I said in my most threatening voice. My traitorous intelligent pants however happily unzipped and my erection popped into Glara’s hand.

“Is it?” Glara whispered in my ear. Her strong fingers wrapped around my hard cock. My knees trembled a little.

She started to stroke me. Her fingers felt silky against my cock. She licked the outside of my ear.

I groaned. I pulsed in her firm grip. My knees went a little weak.

“Harlot!” Venda squawked again. No shit, bird!

Glara giggled. It was my cue to move. I slammed my free elbow into her stomach. She gasped and I twisted behind her. I grabbed the wrist that was holding mine and reversed the move. Now I was standing behind her with her arm pinned behind her.

“Oh, Captain!” she said. There was amusement in her voice.

“You seem to forget it,” I said. I put my free hand to work reaching around and cupping a lovely green breast.

Glara moaned. She pressed her bare ass against my hard cock. The smell of her hair filled my nose and it smelled sweet.

My hand squeezed her breast. Soft heat filled my hand. She was plump and pliable and I enjoyed pulling on the plentiful flesh.

“Great galaxies,” Glara moaned. “Don’t be too hard on me, Captain. I saw something I liked and I took it. Isn’t that the pirate way?”

I didn’t answer. My fingers kept pulling and squeezing. Her nipples were hard pebbles in my grip. A squeeze made her shiver. A pinch made her ass wiggle against my cock. A pull made her moan.

“You need to learn discipline,” I said.

A heel slammed into my leg. There was a flash of green flesh and black hair. The room spun. All of the air left my body. I’m not sure how but I was on my back and the green woman was on top of me. Yellow eyes bore down on me.

“Maybe later,” Glara said. “Right now I just want to fuck.”

She reached down between us and grabbed my cock. I did nothing as she slid back onto me. We moaned together as my body invaded hers.

“Harlot!” Venda squawked. She hopped closer to us. My bird stood by my head and looked at me quizzically with cyborg eyes.

“Good harlot,” I said. I agreed with Venda.

Glara grinded on top of me. Her pelvis moved in strange and mysterious ways. I shivered beneath her. My cock was trapped within the clenching vortex of her alien pussy and that was fine with me.

I reached for her ass. She moaned as I clutched her muscular buttocks. Her hard nipples rubbed against my chest as we fucked. Waves of space black hair covered our faces as we moaned together.

This was nice. I was getting my brains fucked out by an alien woman surrounded by dead slavers. Does it get better than this?

Of course it does.

I waited for the deepest moment of penetration before making my move. I grabbed fistfuls of her hair and lunged with my hips. Glara cried out as she rolled over with me inside her. My arm went across her throat and secured her in place. My hips went back to fucking her.

“You’re good,” I said to her. “You got the second best looking tits I have ever seen. Well, I guess they are the third best looking tits as there are only two of them. You have proven you are dangerous by taking out these assholes and you have proven you are brave by hitting on me and then hitting me when I get here. Plus you got that beautiful alien skin tone that I am a sucker for. You just have one more thing to learn.”

“What’s that?” Glara asked between grunts.

“I am the damn Captain,” I said. “And we do things my way.”

Glara moaned and wrapped her powerful green legs around me. I waited for them to clench tighter and choke be but they didn’t. She bit her lip and shook as an orgasm went through her.

Okay then. I guess she finally accepted that I was in charge. That was important. I liked her but pirates needed a hierarchy. I needed a hierarchy. It was useful when you fall for someone.

I fucked her on the command center floor. Computer monitors bathed us in flickering light. Scrambled speakers serenaded us with static.

Glara was pinned but she had more pleasures to share. Her pussy clenched tighter than a fist. Giant green breasts jiggled and wobbled for my pleasure. Dark lips promised to do many filthy things to me. Yellow eyes stared at me like I was good enough to eat.

“Harlot!” Venda squawked. The bird landed on Glara’s arm and lunged for a bouncing nipple. The sharp beak clenched around the tempting nub of flesh.

“Fuck!” Glara cried but this dangerous woman didn’t make a muscle to move Venda. She just laid there and took it. The evil cyborg bird just held on to that yellow nipple with cruel persistence. I knew how sharp Venda’s beak was. Glara’s self-control had to be amazing.

That was when I knew that I was in love with Glara.

I pulled out of her. Venda released the nipple and flapped away. I stood and Glara sat up to take my cock in her mouth. She sucked and I came.

Glara’s eyes widened. She coughed and my cock fell out of her mouth. I kept coming and splattered her green face and chest with my seed.

“Wow,” I said as I fell back into a chair. “I needed that.”

Glara looked at the mess I had made. “So that’s why they call you Blastpants.”

“Yeah, pirates aren’t too imaginative,” I said. “We don’t make much shit up.”

Glara nodded and stood up. She was damn sexy in motion. There was an efficiency to her movement that was precise.

When she flicked the dart at me, it was faster than my eye could follow.

I felt it though. It hit my thigh and was dangerously close to my balls. A numbness spread through my body almost instantly.

“Wha?” I said stupidly. I was in a weird mix of afterglow and poisoned paralysis.

“I could have killed you earlier,” Glara said. “I had plenty of chances but I was curious. Your cock has quite the reputation.”

I watched her bend over to pick up a slaver’s needle pistol. She pressed the button to coat the needles in lethal poison. It didn’t make them any less painful.

“Why?” I managed to spit out. My lips were tingling.

Glara walked over to me. I couldn’t help admire the swinging of her green breasts. They were almost worth dying for.

“Why?” Glara said. “Simple, Captain Assfucker wants his bird back. He is going to pay a lot of money for it too. There was a bonus for killing you painfully but I feel like I already got a bonus from that nice fuck you gave me.”

“Assassin,” I whispered.

Glara smiled and a red dot appeared on her head. There was a pop and the red dot turned into a black hole that went through her head. Smoke came out of her ears. Those lovely yellow eyes closed and she fell to the ground.

“Harlot!” Venda squawked beside me. One of her cyborg eyes glowed from the laser it had shot.

Harlot! Oh hell! Venda knew! Just like asshole meant enemy to the right, harlot must have meant assassin! Lords of Space, my fucking parrot saved me! If I could move I would have given her the entire pack of bird treats.

Venda hopped to my wrist. It pecked the skull glyph. A medical emergency was transmitted to my crew.

“Good bird,” I whispered.

Jan 272016

My cock pushed into the Cabin Woman’s ass. Her tiny asshole opened for me as I slid in. She cried out and grabbed the back of the chair.

“The Countess will see you-Lords of Space!”

I looked at the servant who had come into the waiting room. He was mostly cybernetic but the parts that were organic were blushing. Half of his face turned the same shade of crimson as his uniform.

“Wait here,” I told my Cabin Woman. I pulled out of her ass and my intelligent pants zipped me up. The Cabin Woman waved at me still bent over the chair.

“Take me to the Countess,” I told the servant.

He glared at me with one organic eye and two robotic. He turned without saying anything and I followed him through the mansion.

I took in the décor as we walked. Seven years ago, the hallways had been decorated with portraits of famous love scenes in history. Now the walls were decorated with holographic recreations of pirate ships exploding. Quite a few of the ships bore a resemblance to my own.

The servant paused in front of a door. He turned to face me and took a moment to not spit at me.

“The Countess is waiting for you, pirate filth!”

I smiled back at him. “That’s me!” I said.

He opened the door and I went in.

The room was another display of money and power. A balcony looked out on the city with only the barest flicker of a privacy screen. A large desk carved from a single giant tree dominated the center. The floor was made of priceless delicate tiles imported from the far side of the galaxy. Even the air was specially treated to be refreshing and soothing.

The Countess was standing by the balcony. We were alone, as I knew we would be. She turned to face me and I admit that even I was struck breathless by her beauty. Long red hair shone with a faint light around her face. Intelligent green eyes stared out from behind floating gold glasses that were merely cosmetic. Pale pink lips sneered at me and yet I still had an erection from their fullness.

She wore a thick dress of green and silver. Her breasts were fully exposed and I wondered if it was the fashion or something especially for me. A necklace held a silver amulet that dangled between her small pert breasts. The dress tightened to an impossibly small waist and I wondered if she indulged in rib removal surgery again. The bottom of her dress was a dozen different ends that snaked and moved on their own; revealing flashes of her long slender legs.

“Captain Blastpants,” Countess Matherine Pellis said. “What blight has brought you back to my world? What fecal matters do you bring to my attention today? What fresh stain will you inflict on my sovereignty now?”

She always makes me laugh. I walked over to her desk and sat down in the seat behind it. She stared at me with silent hatred.

“First, my ship needs refueling,” I said. “Second, we are low on provisions so we will require the normal re-stocking. Third, we suffered some damage on our tracking systems so if you could send a repair team that would be great. Last, my First Mate has a birthday coming up so I am going to take that necklace from you and give it to her.”

The Countess walked over to the desk. The ends of her dress swished and swarmed with menace. She stared at me from behind her floating glasses.

“And what if I told you to go to a black hole and fornicate yourself?” the Countess said.

“Oh, no problem,” I said and I stood up. “I’ll be leaving now and you won’t hear from me again.” I headed towards the door.

I walked six steps before she said, “Wait.”

I stopped but I didn’t turn around.

“And what if I said that I had six warships of the Pik Collective hiding on the moon, waiting for my command to destroy your precious pirate ship?” the Countess asked.

I still didn’t turn around. “Then you would have another hologram to decorate your halls.”

She walked towards me and I heard the swishing of her dress. “And what if I told you that I had twenty armed warriors right outside the door, ready to arrest you?”

At that I laughed. “I would say to get twenty more.”

The Countess came around to my side. She stared at my face but I saw her eyes dip for a split moment to my crotch. I was too much of a gentleman to mention it.

“And what if I said I had a hundred of the best neural surgeons in the sector, waiting to tear you apart, nerve cell by nerve cell, to figure out how to undo the neural lock you placed on me?”

I looked down at her bare breasts, intentionally not looking at her face. “I would say that you wasted your money. At the first sign of being captured, I would activate my own failsafe which would reduce my nervous system to mush.”

The Countess’ breasts rose in a gasp. “You would kill yourself? Wait, are you taking yourself hostage?”

This time I looked her in the eyes. “When it comes to you; that is the only hostage you care about.”

The Countess looked away. She knew it was true. She just hated admitting it.

I felt sorry for her but only for a moment. I remembered seven years ago when prison pods would orbit her planet containing captured space pirates. I remembered how the pods transmitted the screams and agonies of the prisoners as they died of starvation, exposure or worse. I remembered the look on my friend, Captain HellSnatch, as she died slowly in one of those pods.

All of this was on the order of Countess Matherine Pollis. So one very lucky day, my crew and I snuck into this very mansion and we brought along a certain criminal genius of medical skills. We captured the Countess and we made a few small adjustments to her brain. We could have reduced her to a vegetable or inflict endless torments but no, we just made a small tweak to her sex drive.

We made it impossible for her to climax without my touch.

“I’ve enjoyed out talk,” I said, “but I got a pirate ship to restock and refuel and since you’ve said no, I better be going.”

The Countess stepped in front of me. “You bastard, I will take care of it.”

“What?” I said, playing dumb. “Why would you do that?”

“You know why,” the Countess hissed. Her red hair glowed brighter.

My smile faded. “Then do it, now.”

The Countess raised her fingers to her lips. “Port Authority, restock and refuel the Savage Thrust. Also send a maintenance team over to assist with any repairs.”

She nodded as the Port Authority answered in her ears only.

I placed a hand on her breast. She gasped and her knees buckled. Her breast was soft and immaculate like only youth-treatments could provide. For me, it was a lovely breast to hold. For her, it was the first sexual thing she had felt since the last time I had been here.

What was it, two years ago? I wasn’t sure.

“How long has it been since I last fucked you?”

“One solar year, fourteen months and three days,” the Countess said.

“Have you tried vibrators?” I asked.

“Yes,” the Countess answered. Her defeated tone told me how well that worked.

“Did you try subliminal programming?” I asked.

The Countess nodded. I pulled on her nipple and she moaned.

“Anything else?”

“I tried Ugnian mold as an aphrodisiac,” the Countess confessed. “I tried a telepath. I sought out a teacher of the Six Mysteries.”

“Did any of them help?”

“No,” the Countess growled.

“Would you like me to fuck you now?” I asked.

“Yes,” she whispered and it came out like a hiss.

I squeezed her breast. “Suck me, first.”

The Countess dropped to her knees faster than a Mupian whore. I laughed as she tugged at my intelligent pants. A seam opened and my hard cock flopped out.

She took me into her mouth instantly. Her eyes narrowed at the taste of the Cabin Woman’s ass but she didn’t stop. She sucked my cock between her lips and down her throat. Her hair glowed intensely around my crotch.

“Lords of Space,” I groaned. I always forgot how strong her need was. Right now the taste of my cock was unlocking parts of her body. She felt wetness between her legs. Sensitivity was returning to her nipples. An old heat returned to her sex.

She grabbed my ass. Her fingers bit into my cheeks as she tried to swallow my cock. I felt her tongue take long licks of my hardness.

I grabbed her glowing hair and pulled out of her mouth. She fought me but I was stronger. When I left her lips, she looked up at me with desperation.

“What?” she asked.

“Nothing, I just like the look in your eyes when you want my cock,” I said.

I slammed her face back into my crotch. My cock went back into her mouth. My balls slapped against her chin.

The Countess took it as I fucked her face. Spit fell from her hungry lips and landed on her small breasts. She looked up at me from behind her floating gold glasses. Her eyes were dazed and had trouble focusing.

I kept fucking her face. The Countess took it. One of her hands drifted down between her legs. She parted the swathes of her dress and fingered her sex. The violence of what I was doing to her mouth was nothing compared to the fury of her stroking.

The countess moaned. The moan turned into a cough and then into choking. I pulled out of her mouth and let her recover. When she tried to take me back in her mouth, I tightened my grip in her hair to stop her.

“Let me!” the Countess said.

That was the terrible thing about the neural lock. It didn’t suppress her desire. It just suppressed her ability to climax. It kept her on edge without any relief. It turned her into a pirate-cock hungry slut.

“I am going to fuck you,” I said.

Tears sprung from her eyes.

I dragged her by the hair towards the desk. The Countess crawled alongside me. Her dress slipped off her body. It must have been intelligent or maybe she had a quick release in there somewhere. Either way, by the time we reached her desk, she was naked.

The Countess crawled up on her desk. She tried to sit on it but I spun her around and forced her face down over the desk. I slapped her ass and she parted her legs.

“Beg,” I said.

“Please!” the Countess cried.

“Say it,” I commanded.

“Please fuck me! Please, please, please!”

“Do you need it?” I asked.

“Yes, yes, yes! I need to be fucked! Please fuck me! My port needs it so bad!”

“Do you need my cock?” I asked.

“YES!” she nearly howled. “I need your damned cock! I need your filthy pirate cock!”

“Hold yourself open,” I commanded.

The Countess reached behind her. She pulled at her bare pussy lips and held them open. Desire dripped from between her legs.

I thought about the pirates she had condemned to death. I sickened at the thought of giving the Countess anything.

Then I remembered Captain HellSnatch. She would have gotten a kick out of this. I did it for her.

I spat on my cock. My fingers ignored her pussy and went for the Countess’ ass instead. I pulled apart her tight buttocks and pressed my cock against her round brown hole.

“No! Yes! No!” the Countess cried out as I pushed inside her.

She was tight but I was insistent. My thick cock opened her so very slowly.

“You can make me stop at any time,” I reminded her. “Say the word, and I will stop right now.”

The Countess said nothing.

My cock slipped past her tight ring and into her ass. The Countess moaned as my thickness filled her. She trembled as I slowly invaded her.

“Want me to quit?” I taunted her.

The Countess shook her head. Bright glowing hair flew everywhere. She grabbed the edges of the desk. Her knuckles turned white.

I fucked her ass. Nice slow strokes violated her bottom. I took my time. I wanted this to last.

The Countess whimpered. She also humped the edge of the table. A few strokes later, she used one of her hands to finger her pussy. She had no shame left.

“Maybe I should take you with me,” I said as I slammed into her ass.

The Countess whimpered but she didn’t disagree.

“I could make you make my Cabin Woman and fuck your ass every day.”

The Countess moaned louder.

“I could fuck your ass while you suck each and every one of my crew.”

The Countess cried out and shook her head.

“Oh, you would like it,” I said. “As long as my cock is in you, you would enjoy sucking on my crew. You would service the women too. You would lick and suck and you would like it because I was fucking your ass.”

The Countess screamed. Her body trembled around my cock. The slut had climaxed.

I hadn’t so I kept fucking her ass. The spit had long dried so every thrust was awfully tight. It didn’t matter to her. I was tearing her ass apart but it meant she could come. No matter how hard I pounded, she kept stroking.

“Come again, Countess Slut,” I said. “You called me filthy, but you are the one coming on a pirate’s cock on your own desk. You will never sit at this desk again without remembering my cock in your ass. You will never forget how much you enjoyed me plundering this tight little hole.

The Countess screamed another climax.

I fucked her harder. There was no mercy left in me. I pounded her ass as cruelly as I could. I made it hurt. I made her pay for every climax with pain.

I fucked her ass for Captain HellSnatch.

The Countess came again. Her scream was a pitiful thing of lust and pain.

I pulled my cock from her ass. A tug on her glowing hair and the Countess fell to the floor in front of me. The silver amulet bounced on her chest. She looked at me with tear streaks behind her floating glasses. Her lips bled from where she had bitten them.

My cock was inches from her face. She tried to suck on it but I wouldn’t let her. I stroked myself. She stroked herself.

I came. A large load of seed splashed onto her face. I kept pumping and coming. Seed dripped from her floating glasses. Seed splattered her glowing red hair. Seed coated her face and dripped onto her tits.

The Countess came again; shaking and quivering as my seed fell onto her.

When I was finally, finished, I released her. The countess clutched to my leg and kept stroking.

“That’s right, I nearly forgot,” I said.

I reached down and ripped the necklace from her neck. The silver amulet was heavy in my hand. My First Mate was going to love it.

My leg kicked free of the Countess before she could come again. She was sobbing on the floor as I left her chamber.

May 132015

A vortex of laser fire came from the door to the ship’s bridge. It was a steady rain of hot death and already three of my pirates had fallen to the deadly torrent. My crew looked at each other and then at me; none of them were going to try to enter. It was certain death.

I let out a sigh. It wasn’t supposed to be this hard. This was a Ceung Freighter. The hairy talking centipedes were a docile race of traders and cosplayers. Scans showed that their hulls were full of diamond cortexs from gas giants. It was supposed to be a low risk, high yield pirate job. The Ceung were pushovers. The worse they would do to us is unflattering imitations of us when we left.

The Duron mercenaries that the Ceung had hired however were another matter. They were complete bastards and treated every fight as a matter of personal honor. They made us bleed for every inch we had taken of this ship.

I was done bleeding for the day.

“What now, Captain Blastpants?” Morella, my First Mate asked. She was using my full name which meant she was quit tired of kicking her ass kicked too.

“I’m going to toss this plasma grenade through the door,” I said.

Her brow furrowed inside her environmental suit. “You mean one of those defective grenades we got from raiding that trash ship?”

“It’ll work,” I said. “You know how fussy factories are. These grenades probably explode a percentage point out of tolerance of quality recommendations. It’ll be fine.”

Morella was about to say something else but she stopped when I tossed the grenade. An explosion of light came from the bridge. I frowned and she laughed. There was a noticeable lack of superheated matter.

“Fuck it,” I yelled and I was running through the door with pistol and laser sword drawn.

Duron mercenaries stumbled around. The malfunctioning grenade had merely blinded them instead of melting them. I worked with that. I shot a Duron who was clutching his eyes and used my laser sword to skewer a Duron who had tripped over a chair.

“Not so tough now, are you?” I yelled. I could almost feel that post victory blowjob.

My crew ran in behind me. Grim laughter filled the cabin as we slaughtered the blind mercenaries. These assholes had killed our friends and colleagues and now they were helpless. We gave them pirate mercy which is to say none at all.

“The best part is the bridge is still intact!” I said.

Morella let out a sigh. “You’re just lucky the grenade didn’t work like it should have.”

I smiled at her. “I always said I would rather be lucky then good.”

A glow caught my eye. It was coming from under a console. It was a weird orange globe that seemed to slowly be expanding.

It was the grenade. The plasma containment field was collapsing slowly instead of the micro-second that it should have failed.

“Run!” I yelled.

I turned and suddenly I was propelled upwards towards the bridge ceiling. I slammed into the ceiling and darkness engulfed me.

I awoke drifting in space. My suit had sealed itself and warning glyphs flashed before me on the holographic display on my helmet.

Oh fuck. Sixty-three percent of the suit was damaged. The oxygen recycler was offline. The propulsion system was offline. Radiation shielding had been compromised which I didn’t worry about because hey, I wasn’t going to be alive long enough to get space cancer at this rate.

I activated my communicator. Dead silence. A quick scan of the hundred warning glyphs told me that my communicator was offline too.

Well fuck. I was going to have to wait until my pirates looked for me using my suit’s transponder.

A nasty thought crossed my mind. I scanned the warning glyphs.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK! The transponder was melted too!

I was in a slow spin. The guidance thrusters were offline so there was no way to stop my rotation. I was curious about my ship. Hell, I was curious if my ship was even around. How long had I been knocked out? Could my ship had already left without me?

Slowly my body rotated in the right direction. I saw my ship, the Savage Thrust, still connected to the Cueng Freighter. The bridge of the freighter looked like a burst bra. A mess of debris surrounded the bridge but I was a good long distance away from it.

Shit, I must have been blasted out by the explosion. The plasma grenade should have just destroyed the inside of the bridge but instead it created a catastrophic breach. That might be why I was ejected out instead of smeared against a bulkhead.

Yeah, lucky me. I am going to suffocate out here instead of dying instantly. Praise the Lords of Space!

I wondered if Morella died too. Nah, she would survive just so she could bitch about me throwing that grenade. I realized she was going to do a great job taking over as a Captain. She’s smarter than I ever was.

Fuck, it didn’t take long for me to get morose. I stopped that shit right away. I was Captain Blastpants! I had fucked my way across the galaxy! I had a hot blue alien girlfriend! I had slapped more asses and squeezed more tits than any other pirate! I had nothing to be depressed about.

My joy lasted about three minutes. Dying sucked.

I thought about masturbating. I never did get that after battle blowjob. I couldn’t get inside my suit without exposing my flesh to the vacuum of space but maybe I could rub myself. I could dry hump my hand. If I could come one last time, the endorphins would help ease waiting for death.

My hand went to my crotch. The boarding suit armor got in the way. Fuck, most of the suit had been destroyed but of course the shit around my crotch was fine. I couldn’t even jack off before dying.

Was this the sad end of Captain Blastpants? Blown out into space by his own defective grenade?

I laughed. As endings went, it was pretty funny. I was bound to be remembered for it. Well, that and my massive cock.

My body rotated away from the ship. A galaxy of stars cascaded around me. The beauty of the cosmos surrounded me.

I thought about opening the environmental seals on my crotch. I wondered if I could jack off fast enough before I died. It was certain suicide but it was better than waiting to suffocate. I was also a little turned on the challenge.

Fuck, I had been a space pirate for so long; I wasn’t sure when I lasted masturbated. That was what Cabin Women were for. Did I even remember how?

There was a green star that caught my eye. Next to it was another green star. I watched them as my body slowly rotated but strangely I didn’t loose track of them. They were following me.

Were they ships? No, that was silly. How could ships even know I was here? Without a transponder, I was a single grain of sand in the vast ocean that is space.

The green stars became brighter. Maybe they were ships.

I got my first good look at them. They were women. Long green hair trailed behind them as they floated towards me. Large green round breasts floated in zero gravity. Long green legs tapered up to hairless pussies. Bright green eyes looked at me as green lips smiled.

Wow, I had gone fucking nuts from oxygen deprivation. I wasn’t expecting that. At least I was hallucinating hot women.

They were close enough to touch. I reached out for a plump breast. My fingers sank into soft flesh. I was impressed by how detailed my hallucination was!

The two green women grabbed me. They stopped my rotation and the stars stopped spinning. One of them smiled at me and touched my faceplate while the other floated down to my crotch.

A warning glyph appeared. Something was attempting to open my environmental seals on my pants.

I remembered an old story told by Captain Crazy Bite. It was about floating women in space. There might have been a butt plug involved. He had a name for them, Qansons, I think. It was a good story but it was just another bullshit space pirate story. You know, like haunted asteroids or brothel workers that paid their customers.

I squeezed the tit again. My other hand reached down and grabbed a handful of ass. The green woman giggled soundlessly in space.

Fuck, Qansons were real.

The other Qanson was still messing with my environmental seal. She was persistently trying to get into my pants. I liked that in a woman but I was worried about the whole vacuum exposure part.

I tried to push her away. She took my hand and guided it to her green lips. Her mouth opened and she took three of my fingers into her. I felt her tongue flick over my fingers as her cheeks sucked inward.

That felt nice. My glove was thick but her tongue was talented. I could only imagine what it would feel like against my bare flesh.

The Qanson near my face stroked her self. I watched her lips open in a soundless moan. Green hair floated around us as she masturbated vigorously.

I tried communicating with her. My fingers let go of her tit and pointed back at my ship. “Take me back there, please!” I yelled.

Of course my communicator was fried but I hoped they could read my lips. Maybe she could sense my message psychically. I thought really hard at her.

The green woman stroked faster. The other Qanson wrapped her thighs around my leg and rubbed herself against me. She kept my fingers in her mouth as she humped my leg.

I tried pantomime. I pointed at myself and then at the ship. I made some vague motion that resembled flying. I grabbed my throat and contorted my face into the act of choking and dying. On a whim, I used the Intergalactic Hand Signal for distress and rescue.

The Qanson nodded and I let out a sigh of relief. She leaned forward and pressed her plump green breast to my faceplate. A green tit with a dark green nipple filled my entire view.

Yeah, I was going to die out here. I wasn’t bitter. It seemed kind of fitting that I would be killed by the neglect of horny space anomalies. This kind of irony made me believe there really were Lords of Space who controlled everything for their amusement.

The Qanson humping my leg humped faster. She also kept sucking on three of my fingers. I was impressed by the width of her mouth.

The other Qanson rubbed her green tits back and forth across my faceplate. I appreciated the view but it was annoying to be so close to tits and not be able to kiss them.

Shit, why was I keeping my helmet on? I was debating killing myself just to jack off earlier; why not do it for a pair of great tits?

I pressed a button on my helmet. I laughed when I got the confirmation glyph for opening my helmet. Every other damn thing in this suit was melted but lock still worked. I pressed the button again to confirm that I wanted to open it.

The faceplate retracted. I winced as I prepared for the cold suck of death to drain the atmosphere of my suit but instead I got a large breast smashing into my face. Instinct took over and I opened my lips and bit down.

I was alive. Despite being exposed to the ravages of space the breast was surprisingly warm. I found her nipple and licked it. The Qanson shivered and her breast jiggled in the zero gravity.

The Qanson pulled her tit away. She smiled at me and leaned in for a kiss. I took a deep breath in an open helmet as she came. Maybe I was already dead and this was the afterlife.

Or maybe the Qansons had their own life support field. That made more sense. I mean, I didn’t know if it was scientifically possible. I’m a space pirate not a scientist.

She kissed me and I forgot about science. Her tongue was soft and fluid inside my mouth. Warm lips kissed mine as her hands wrapped around me. She kissed me softly as we floated in space.

The other Qanson kept humping my leg. Her lips opened and released my fingers. I reached out and cupped her neck instead. She rode my leg with an increasing passion. Her sex pressed tightly against my knee as she rubbed back and forth.

She climaxed. I felt a pulse of energy shoot up my leg and fill my body with warmth. She suddenly stopped humping my leg and I felt the literal afterglow of her orgasm.

The Qanson that was kissing me whimpered in my mouth. It was a jealous sound. She wanted to come too.

She broke the kiss and glided up my body. I saw every perfect inch of her smooth green body. Her thighs opened in front of me and then closed around my head. My lips opened and my tongue sought her sex.

The Qanson’s pussy was hot to the touch. My tongue parted her sex lips and delved inside. She tasted sweet with a faint touch of ozone. Her pussy juice tingled as it went down my throat.

The other Qanson messed with my crotch again. This time I helped her. I pressed a button and my pants opened like a first time pirate. My cock was free in the vacuum of space.

But not for long. The Qanson’s mouth engulfed my cock. An electric charge shocked my cock but it was brief. Warm wetness surrounded my cock and I groaned into the other Qanson’s pussy. I was finally getting my post battle blowjob.

We drifted in space together. I licked one Qanson while the other sucked me. The Qanson I ate humped my face while her friend bounced her face on my cock.

I stripped off my gloves so I could feel their soft flesh. They stripped off my remaining clothes so they could touch me. I sank my fingers into firm asses while they gripped my hairy arms and thighs. We writhed and grinded our hips in each others’ mouths.

The Qanson’s thighs tightened around my head. A glow came from deep within her sex. I licked faster and harder until the glow flashed into a green star.

The thighs released me. The green woman arched her back and drifted away from me in orgasmic bliss. The green glow radiated from her sex like beacon in the dark of space.

The Qanson sucking my cock stopped. She held onto my cock with one hand as she spun around. Her ass was presented to me and her legs parted. It was clear what she wanted.

I grabbed her hips and completed a docking maneuver. My cock slid into her from behind and the Qanson clenched tightly around me. Another jolt travelled up my cock and up my spine.

There is a trick to fucking in zero gravity and it just comes down to practice. Being a space pirate I had the skills and the Qanson did as well. I wondered how many people these two had fucked in space.

We fucked in the dark emptiness. She reached back and I grabbed her arms for support. Our bodies humped in a slow economy of motion. Her long green hair floated around us while our sexes merged.

The other Qanson recovered and floated back to us. She came up along side me and kissed my chest. Tiny sparks flew with each kiss. Her other hand went under her friend and I felt fingers at her sex. She rubbed her friend while she sucked on my nipple.

A new surge went through me. It came from her mouth on my nipple, shot down my body and travelled through my cock into the other Qanson’s pussy. It was a powerful force and I felt my heart skip a beat. We were completing some strange circuit.

It came again, running from tongue to nipple, to cock to pussy once more. This time I swore my heart skipped two beats.

It came again. My vision got a little fuzzy. I realized this was probably unhealthy. It was most likely going to kill me.

Ha! I should already be dead; naked as I was in space! Every thrust was an extra bonus of pleasure I had cheated from my certain doom. I wasn’t going to quit now.

I fucked the Qanson faster. Her green back arched beautifully. If she screamed something I couldn’t hear it in space. The other Qanson kept rubbing and sucking; sending a near constant surge of energy through me.

The Qansons climaxed. A green light exploded from the area of her pussy. I clenched my eyes shut but I couldn’t shut the green star out.

She dismounted from my cock. The circuit was broken. As soon as her pussy left my cock, the green woman beside me grabbed my cock. It was slick with her friend’s juices and her grip slid easily over me.

One tug, two tug and I came on the third. I shouted and it was a soundless cry. My seed fired from my body and froze instantly in the cold of space.

I came for a long time. Streams of come turned into glittering ice. The Qanson kept stroking me until every drop had turned into a comet.

I was exhausted. Darkness crept around my vision. I was dying. Shit, maybe I was already dead and this was the tail end of my death hallucination. That was cool. At least I came.

I felt warm flesh take both my arms. Two sets of breasts pressed against my ribs. As my eyes closed, I saw my seed twisting in space like strange diamonds.

“Lords of Space!” someone yelled.

I woke up. I was in an airlock. My naked ass felt the cold metal beneath me. I was looking up into the eyes of several of my crew.

“Captain, we thought you blew yourself up on the bridge!” it was Morella. Was their concern in her voice?

“Technically someone else blew me,” I said as I sat up. “Wait, how did I get here?”

Morella frowned at me. “You tell us! The airlock alarm went off and said we had an intruder. And why are you naked?”

I laughed. I could still taste ozone on my lips. My cock had a layer of frost around it from where the Qanson’s pussy juices had frozen. It was going to be one hell of a story to tell.

Shit, who was I kidding? They were never going to believe me.

Apr 152015

The Cabin Woman choked as I fucked her mouth. She looked up at me with fear in her single big green eye. My cock was too big for her mouth but that wasn’t stopping me.

I climaxed. A flood of seed entered her mouth, filled her cheeks and spilled out of her lips. She tried to pull away but I grabbed the feathers on her head and kept her pinned to my crotch. I held her there as my cock continued to pump seed into her mouth.

“Swallow it all!” Venda said. My cyborg parrot looked down from her perch on my shoulder.

“What she said,” I groaned.

The Cabin woman tried but there was too much come. Too much of it fell onto her tits and the floor.

My communicator beeped. It was my Quarter Master, Mr. Cash. “The Finance Consultation is about to begin. We’re just waiting for you.”

“On my way,” I sighed. I pulled my cock out of the Cabin Woman’s mouth and wiped it on her face. “Make sure to clean everything you dropped. We’re guests here.”

“Use your tongue!” Venda chirped. The Cabin woman nodded and licked my seed off the floor with her mouth. It was strange how my crew obeyed my cyborg parrot quicker than they obeyed me.

I started walking to the meeting. My intelligent pants zipped up over my cock. The hallways were surprisingly tall considering that our hosts were Wuats and barely over a meter tall.

I freely admit that I was slow walking to the party. I had been dreading it all day. My ship, the Savage Thrust, had taken a beating and we stopped at this repair asteroid to get back into shape. A renegade Wuat clan owned this asteroid and although Wuats were famous for their technical skills they were equally famous for the hard bargains they drove. My Quarter Master assured me that we could afford their prices but he used to be a banker and his definition of affording something could sometimes be “hey, let’s eat protein paste for a month.”

I reached where I thought the meeting was being held and was obviously mistaken. Instead of tables, chairs and charts, there was a bar, a live band and a bunch of Wuats standing around drinking from mugs the size of their heads. The band was loudly screaming a power ballad about misaligned plasma couplings.

Many of the Wuats were half naked. Wuats were an off shoot of humanity that grew up on high gravity worlds. They were a meter tall with squat thick bodies that were full of muscles. For a short race they were insanely tough and could survive just about anywhere. Their race had a reputation for being great at building things but I suspect that was just a side effect of devoting themselves to building the perfect beer brewing machine.

I was about to turn around when my Quarter Master spotted me. “Come on in, Captain!” he yelled. He had a mug in each hand and he was sitting on the shoulders of a bare-chested Wuat male. The Wuat was grinning and nuzzling the back of his head against Mr. Cash’s crotch.

“Glad you could make it, Captain!” Mr. Cash said. “This is Noz Cablestrong. We just came to an agreement to service the power core on the ship!”

“Good?” I said uncertainly. “Is this the financial consultation?”

“Hell yeah!” Mr. Cash said. He handed me a mug.

“We don’t negotiate shit without plenty of music and beer!” Noz said. He tightened his grip on my Quarter Master’s thighs.

I sniffed the mug I was handed. Several hairs in my nose died. The Wuats were certainly a hardy race.

“We just sort of mingle and negotiate our fees,” Mr. Cash said. “In fact, behind you is the Mistress of the Weapon Crafters. Mrs. Hammershock, the Captain is ready for your quote!”

I turned to face a busty Wuat woman though I guess all Wuats are busty with their short tick bodies. Mrs. Hammershock had long blond hair tied into a massive braid. Her more massive breasts were about to fall out of her tight blouse but knowing Wuat construction, I bet there was no chance of that happening. A workman’s skirt was wrapped around wide hips. She took a long drink from her mug and then let out a nice equally long burp.

“Excuse me,” she said while her burp still rang in my ears. “I’ve taken a look at the damage to your weapon systems and I think we can fix her back up for just twenty MegaCreds.”

“Are you drunk?” I snapped. “Twenty MegaCreds? Are the missiles made of precious metals? Do the lasers give me blowjobs when I fire them? That’s ridiculous!”

Mrs. Hammershock shrugged her shoulders, making her massive tits jiggle in interesting ways. “What’s ridiculous is that you were fighting at all with your old system. I might be able to shave one MegaCred off the price as a discount for the mentally handicapped.”

I was about to respond when the band started a new, louder song. A wave of noise hit my ears and I clutched my skull. Venda chirped something on my shoulder but I couldn’t hear her. Mrs. Hammershock banged her head in tune with the music.

“I can’t negotiate in this noise!” I yelled.

“Use the bargaining closet!” Mr. Cash yelled.

“The bargaining what?” I yelled back.

“I’ll show you!” Mrs. Hammershock yelled.

She grabbed my wrist and dragged me through the party. I was annoyed at being held by the wrist instead of the hand but I knew better than to try to fight her grip. Besides, if we were getting away from this noise, she could drag me by my shorts hairs.

She went to a door I hadn’t noticed and pressed her hand against it. Sensors read her palm print and the door opened. Inside was a room barely big enough for two people to stand shoulder to shoulder. At least it was tall enough for me. A monitor screen took up half a wall and I assumed it was for looking at contracts.

We crowded into the room and the door closed. Thankfully it was sound proof and I couldn’t hear the Wuat band anymore. The ringing in my ears took a little longer to go away.

I looked down at Mrs. Hammershock. She finished off the rest of her mug and let it drop to the ground. Another burp erupted and filled the tiny room.

“Alright, now we can do some real negotiating,” I said. “Normally I pay three MegaCreds for a full weapons overhaul and I just think that-Whoa! What are you doing?”

Mrs. Hammershock had a firm grip on my crotch. Her thick strong fingers closed around my growing bulge.

“I’m negotiating,” Mrs. Hammershock said. “Twenty MegaCreds is a reasonable price for our fine craftsmanship but as Mistress of my department I have certain price variances I can apply.”

“Rape and pillage!” Venda chirped from my shoulder.

“Hush,” I said to Venda. Looking down at Mrs. Hammershock, I asked a stupid question. “What kind of price variance?”

“I saw the video of you raping that heiress,” Mrs. Hammershock said. “You have a fine cock for one of your race.”

“Technically that was consensual since we were filming it for her reality show,” I said. My cock was throbbing under her firm grip. “But if you are looking for a repeat of that performance, I can work something out.”

“Shit, I just want you to fuck my brains out,” Mrs. Hammershock said.

“What about Mr. Hammershock?” I said. “I like to know what kind of danger I am risking before I fuck a married person.”

“Fuck Mr. Hammershock!” she snapped. “You’ll be in more trouble if you don’t get to the fucking right now!”

She drove a hard bargain. My intelligent pants unzipped on their own. Mrs. Hammershock lifted her skirt to reveal thick hairy legs and the thickest blonde pubic patch I had ever seen. I stared at her and tried to figure out how this was going to work. Just as I decided to pick her up, she grabbed my hips and pulled me down to my knees. There was no resisting her superior strength and I fell to all fours.

“What exactly do you have in mind?” I asked right before she grabbed my head. Her grip was tight as she pulled me by my hair to her crotch.

My face pressed against the thick bush of her hair. I burrowed into her hair and opened my mouth. I tasted flesh and my tongue licked the familiar taste of pussy.

I had a sudden flash to my Cabin Woman that I used earlier. It occurred to me that I was now in the same position she was in earlier. A smile came to my lips as I kept licking. Even Captains have to use their mouths sometimes.

“Lick it good!” Venda chirped. I felt her talons prick my back as she moved to a better position.

“What the bird said!” Mrs. Hammershock said.

She lifted one of her short legs and slung it over my shoulder. The weight of a hundred kilos pressed down on my body. I grunted into her pussy and judging from her shivers, I think she liked it.

The raised leg made it easier to reach her pussy. My lips played with hers and my tongue drank from her sex. She tasted like metals, beer and that feminine musk that all women of every species have. The weight on my shoulder was a burden but that burden was easily lifted by the joy of licking a soaked pussy.

“Quan’s Hammer!” Mrs. Hammershock moaned. “Your mouth is better than my washing bot!”

I took that as a compliment.

“On your back!” Mrs. Hammershock yelled.

She gave me a shove and my arms collapsed beneath me. Fuck, she was strong! I quickly rolled onto my back just in time to see her knees drop to either side of my head. Thick thighs encased my head as her yellow bush fell on my face.

I grabbed a quick breath before being smothered in Wuat pussy. I went back to licking because I knew it was the only way to escape. She was too strong for anything else.

Mrs. Hammershock straddled my head facing my cock. She grabbed my cock with her powerful grip. I thought she was going to stroke me but no, she was just content to hold onto my pulsing member while I ate her.

I licked with all my cunning. My tongue performed tricks learned from all across the galaxy. Swirls, taps, flicks and even bites were in my arsenal.

“Fuck!” Mrs. Hammershock yelled and her pussy quivered on my face.

Venda chirped something but it was hard as fuck to hear her with my ears encased in thighs.

The thighs tightened around my head. She was close to orgasm. I licked faster.

The constriction increased around my head. Pain flashed through my head. She was about to come at any moment. I licked harder.

The vice of her thighs escalated. I swore I could feel individual points of my skull about to burst. How much more did she need to come? I licked with everything I had.

“Quan’s Hammer!” Mrs. Hammershock yelled. A flood of juice splashed my face and I was reminded of my Cabin Woman once more. The thighs relaxed and I knew I would live to lick again.

Mrs. Hammershock lifted from my face. I gasped for air and let out a nervous laugh.

“Good,” Mrs. Hammershock said. She crawled on top of my head towards my cock.

“Hold on,” I said. My hands covered my cock.

“What foolishness is this?” Mrs. Hammershock said.

“Knock five MegaCreds off the price,” I said.

“What? That slices our profit margin to almost nothing!” Mrs. Hammershock said.

I shrugged. It was hard to look stern on my back holding my crotch and my face glistening with pussy juice. “Take five off or we can leave the Bargaining Closet right now.”

Mrs. Hammershock growled. I worried that I had pushed it too far.

“Take it or leave it!” Venda chirped. The cyborg parrot floated over to my shoulder.

“Fine!” Mrs. Hammershock said. “Now give me that cock!”

I pulled my hands away. My cock stood proudly like he always does when people are haggling over him.

Mrs. Hammershock stood up. She grabbed me by my shoulders and lifted my body from the ground as if she was carrying a doll. With ease she picked me up and sat me up against the wall.

I watched as she pulled off her skirt and tossed it to the ground. The bush I had just eaten was soaked with her juices and my spit. She stood over my cock and I felt it drip onto me.

“Wait,” I said before she could lower herself. “Fifteen MegaCreds is still too much. Ten seems more reasonable.”

A scowl crossed her otherwise lovely face. “Half price? That is an insult to my entire clan!”

I reached between her legs. My fingers found the slick cleft of her sex and slipped easily in. She clenched her eyes shut as I pushed three fingers deep inside her. Her sex tightened around my fingers and I bit my lip to keep from yelling.

“If my fingers feel this nice, just imagine how my cock feels?” I said. I stroked the inside of her sex to make my point.

“Ten MegaCreds, you bastard!” Mrs. Hammershock said.

I pulled my fingers out and she lowered herself onto me. She gripped my cock a bit roughly but I deserved that for teasing her. She guided my cock into her pussy lips with the precision of an engineer. I let out a grunt as her weight settled onto me.

“Quan’s Hammer, this feels good,” Mrs. Hammershock moaned.

I reached for her ass and squeezed. My cock throbbed inside the tight prison of her sex. Powerful muscles clamped down on my cock and I doubted I could escape her if I tried.

“Ready to be fucked, pirate?” Mrs. Hammershock said.

I grabbed her braid and pulled on it as hard as I could. Her head didn’t even budge but a smile came to her lips.

“Ready and waiting, craftswoman,” I said.

“Good,” she grunted and she rocked back and forth. Her thighs clamped around my legs and the muscles in her pussy were twice as strong. She placed her hands on my shoulders for support and I winced as her fingers dug into my flesh. Venda climbed onto my head and peered down at us.

“Oh shit,” Mrs. Hammershock moaned. “That’s the socket action I need.”

“Socket action!” Venda chirped.

I reached into her shirt and pulled out one of her breasts. A pale mountain of flesh came out. It was heavy in my hand and I brought the pale pink nipple to my lips. I bit down hard as I tried to pretend that I was a fearsome space pirate and not a customer getting humped in the closet.

“Harder!” Mrs. Hammershock yelled.

I bit down harder. Mrs. Hammershock humped me faster. Her pussy was so wet that she was soaking my balls. A wet spot formed on my intelligent pants

“Harder! Harder!” Venda chirped. Mrs. Hammershock listened to the parrot and grinded on my lap. My cock was trapped within her fantastic pussy muscles. Her mass shifted back and forth on my soaked lap.

I released her tit and pulled out the other one. Both of her tits were too much for my hands to hold but it was fun trying. My fingers sank into both of them as Mrs. Hammershock fucked the hell out of me.

“Quan’s Hammer, Anvil and Bucket!” Mrs. Hammershock yelled.

“Eight MegaCreds,” I grunted.

“What?” Mrs. Hammershock said. She didn’t stop fucking me.

“You heard me, eight MegaCreds or I get up and leave right now,” I said.

“Bastard!” Mrs. Hammershock said. She fucked me harder. Her fingers dug deeper into my shoulders.

“I mean it!” I said.

“Means it!” Venda repeated.

“You son of a defective womb!” Mrs. Hammershock yelled. She fucked my cock with raging fury. Her fingernails broke the skin as she clutched.

“Make it five MegaCreds!” I yelled. My fingers twisted both of her nipples. I felt her pussy quake around my cock.

“You are a thief, a weak drinker and your ship is poorly maintained!” Mrs. Hammershock said. Her hips grinded with a new circular motion that almost ripped my cock off.

“Last chance or we stop, NOW!” I yelled.

“Leave it or fuck it!” Venda said.

“Damn you, yes! Five MegaCreds!” Mrs. Hammershock said.

I pulled both of her tits to my mouth and bit down. Mrs. Hammershock yelled inside our small closet. I felt her pussy clench so hard I thought my cock wouldn’t survive.

“FUCK!” Mrs. Hammershock yelled. Her pussy spasmed around my cock. She threw back her head and screamed a mighty orgasm.

Even though I had just climaxed recently, I came again. My seed surged up inside her and unlike my Cabin Woman’s mouth; Mrs. Hammershock’s pussy didn’t spill a drop.

Mercifully, Mrs. Hammershock stopped. She stood up and pushed her tits back into her shirt. I was proud of the small bite marks I had left on her large mounds. She bent over and I admired her squat ass before she put her skirt back on.

“You drive a hard bargain but repairs will commence at the price of five MegaCreds,” Mrs. Hammershock said. The fury was gone and replaced with casual calmness.

“Great,” I said. My intelligent pants zipped themselves up while Venda settled on my shoulders. I winced as her tiny talons touched the bruises forming.

Mrs. Hammershock reached down and grabbed my hand. She pulled me to my feet with a single jerk. Before I could thank her, she already had the door open and a wall of sound crashed into me.

I stumbled back into the consultation party. I grabbed the first mug that was offered to me and swallowed it in one gulp. My throat caught fire and I doubled over coughing until someone tapped me on the shoulder.

It was Mr. Cash. He was still on the Wuat’s guys shoulders but he lost his pants somewhere. The Wuat lost his pants too and his cock looked as thick as my arm.

“How did the bargaining go?” Mr. Cash yelled over the music.

“Exhausting but I got the weapons repairs down to five MegaCreds!” I yelled.

“Great!” Mr. Cash said. “The Mistresses of the Engine Crafters are ready to discuss their estimate! I think they are sisters! They want to charge us thirty MegaCreds!”

I looked at the Wuats he was pointing at. They were dark women with shaved heads and even bigger tits than Mrs. Hammershock. Both of them saw me and licked their lips in unison. They started heading towards to the Bargaining Closet and waved at me to join them.

Lords of Space, this was going to be one long fucking night.

Apr 062015

This is a Secure Notice from Bank of Galactic Spiral in accordance with your Service Agreement. If you wish you not receive notices in the future, please log in with your Bank of Galactic Spiral account and pay the recurring daily fee.

The apostate banker, Jozas Loor, has been confirmed to be in your area! He currently using the alias is Jozas Cash in violation of the Proper Naming Clause in his Lifetime User Service Agreement.

Jozas Loor’s crimes include but are not limited to thirty counts of Willful Truthfulness in Explaining a Service Contract, twenty-five counts of Waiving a Late Fee, fifteen counts of Offering Cheaper Alternatives, nine counts of Having Sex in a Manager’s office and three counts of Urinating on a Bank Official.

Customers of Bank of Galactic Spiral are advised to report any sightings of Jozas Loor as soon as possible. They are also strictly forbidden from listening to or soliciting financial advice from Jozas Loor.

Employees of Bank of Galactic Spiral are advised to stay out of urinating range of Jozas Loor. Also, do not pay any heed to Jozas Loor talking about ‘other dimensional intelligences that really run the Bank of Galactic Spiral’ as this information is clearly ridiculous and completely untrue as stated in your Employee Service Agreement.

Jozas Loor’s current employment is with the space pirate, Captain Blastpants. This is a clear violation of Jozas Loor’s Employment Service Agreement.

Mar 092015

Purity Warning! This message is for Fathers and Husbands only!

The Nelf bitch terrorist, Gli WorldSong, has been sighted within Patriarchy Preserve Space. If you see the alien whore, Fathers and Husbands are to contact your nearest Purity Defender. Your duty is to shame and humiliate the lesbian cocktease until law enforcement arrives.

Do not be fooled by her long blue hair and slender Patriarchy Approved thin body! Gli WorldSong calls herself a Doctor despite her obvious weakness of having a female brain. Her small waist, perky breasts and tempting lips are because she is a member of the Nelf race. If she was human, she would be just as fat, dirty and unappealing as a human dyke.

Keep an eye on your Daughters and Wives! Gli WorldSong is a known distributor of Female Birth Control, Femi-evil Propaganda, and Pseudo-Penises! Secret lectures given by the alien menstruator were directly responsible for the last Misbehaving Daughter Uprising! The bitch whore slut is a known critic of the Fathers and refuses to shut her lying stupid cunt sucking face!

Be warned that Gli WorldSong currently serves as the ship’s doctor for the pirate vessel known as the Savage Thrust commanded by Captain Blastpants. Blastpants is a known Gender Traitor who willingly allows women to hold positions of power despite frequent studies that we have transmitted to his ship.

Jan 212015

Today I had two women competing to be my Cabin Woman. One would have the pleasure of serving as my personal pleasure toy and the other would go back to whatever shit jobs there were to do on this ship. That was why both women were squeezed in between my thighs and trying to suck on my cock at the same time. The brown one had more of my cock in her mouth but the green one was doing amazing things with her tongue on my balls. It was going to be a hard choice.

“Captain Blastpants, we found it!” One Eyed Peter yelled. “Five thousand cubic kilometers worth!”

The crew on the bridge cheered with joy. Both of the Cabin Woman candidates looked up and I pushed their heads back onto my laps. The green one took my cock in her mouth while the brown one sulked. Oh, that as going to count against her.

“Lick the balls, lick the balls!” Venda my cyborg parrot said. Venda was always on point.

I petted Venda and looked at the main monitor. The asteroid in question appeared with some helpful graphics around it. Lords of Space, it was huge!

“Five thousand cubic kilometers of Orgasmiam,” my First Mate, Marella, said. “That is enough to buy a space station, or a dozen. Shit, each member of the crew could get their own space station if they weren’t picky about the size.”

“I just can’t believe Mad Crazy Psycho was right,” I said. “There really is a giant chunk of Orgasmiam just floating in this asteroid field. We’re damn lucky he came to us with it. I don’t feel bad about the money we spent for this information.”

“Or that damn minefield we spent three weeks picking our way through?” Marella said.

“It is a shame we lost six pirates to mines but hey, their posthumous shares to their family are going to be huge,” I said.

“Aye,” Marella said. “All our shares will be.” She was in a great mood. It was rare to see my redheaded friend smiling. She had plenty of reasons to. That was a shit ton of wealth just waiting to be plucked. We could all retire on this find.

The green woman had my entire cock down her throat. The brown woman realized that she as losing and kissed the base of my cock with passionate fervor. It was a great moment. I had two hungry mouths on my lap and more treasure than I could count in front of me.

Something red arced across the monitor screen and smashed into the asteroid. A rainbow explosion of light flashed across the monitor as all five thousand cubic kilometers of Orgasmiam disintegrated before our eyes.

“No,” I whispered, too stunned to shout. All around me, the crew on the bridge erupted in wailing sobs. They were too heartbroken to speak as well. Even Venda was speechless and I wasn’t sure if the cyborg bird even understood money.

“FUCK!” Marella yelled, who was never too anything to keep from shouting.

“Captain, we’re being hailed!”

“On screen!” I yelled, finding my ability to shout. “Who the fuck did that?”

A woman appeared on screen. Her stoic Asiatic features cracked a smile at my misfortune. A blue Pik Collective uniform stretched across her enormous breasts. Her impeccable posture meant her breasts threatened to burst from the uniform fabric at any moment. My rage lessened for a moment as my eyes were drawn to her cleavage by the gravitational pull of the mass of her tits.

“Tits!” Venda chirped from my shoulder.

“Captain Gan!” Marella shouted while I stared at tits. “You destroyed the largest discovery of Orgasmiam ever found!”

“I am Captain Kianna Gan of the Pik collective,” Captain Gan said.

“Yes, she just said that!” I snapped. I stood up and the potential cabin women fell back on their knees. I glared at them and they both started kissing my cock. Just because I stood was no reason to stop a blowjob.

Kianna lifted a hand to block her line of sight to the women sucking my cock. “I am informing you that your ship, the Savage Thrust, is a documented pirate ship and is under arrest. You have been accused of thirty acts of piracy in this system as well as two counts of molestation of a Pik Collective Officer. A full list of crimes is being transmitted to you as I speak. I also have a warrant for your Captain, Captain Blastpants, if that is your real name.”

I gave Kianna a funny look. “You really don’t need to tell me the charges every time we meet. Also, I would like to argue about those two counts of molestation. I mean, I fucked your tits and I have spanked your ass, but molestation sounds a bit much. I mean, you did enjoy the spanking as I remember.”

“Fuck that!” Marella said. Man, she was pissed. “Why the fuck did you blow up the Orgasmiam?”

“Orgasmiam is a controlled substance,” Kianna said. “The ability to give any sentient being an orgasm just by being in close proximity to the material gives Orgasmiam the potential to be a weapon of mass distraction. I was perfectly within my rights as an officer of the Pik Collective to destroy it.”

Now Marella was speechless. The wanton destruction of so much wealth had paralyzed her.

Kianna’s smile grew wider. She was enjoying our displeasure. “Now I will ask you once to surrender. As you can see the Solemn Pledge has you outclassed. We have three times your weapons and twice your shields. Resist and I will not hesitate to destroy you and add your ashes to the scattered particles of the Orgasmiam.”

“Open fire!” Marella yelled.

“Fuck that!” I yelled. “All power to engines and get us the fuck out of here!”

Luckily I was the Captain and the crew obeyed my orders. The Savage Thrust fired engines and took off on an escape course. Immediately the ship rocked as the Solemn Pledge peppered our hull with lasers and mass drivers.

I fell back into my chair. My intelligent pants wisely zipped up over my cock. The two kneeling women returned to between my thighs and tried to kiss my zipper open. I gave them credit for staying on their job.

Damage reports came. The Solemn Pledge was blasting bits and pieces out of us. We were fast but the Solemn Pledge might have been faster. Kianna was catching up to us and judging by her rate of fire she was eager to avenge her two counts of molestation.

“Damn father sucking whore cunt!” Marella yelled. Yeah, she wasn’t going to be much good.

Fortunately for us, I had a cunning plan.

“Helm, plot a course for the mine field,” I said.

Old Nathan was at the helm and he was a good space pirate. That meant he obeyed right away despite our certain doom. The Savage Thrust went straight for the mine field at a reckless speed.

The Solemn Pledge kept firing. My combat screen was filled with information about the weapons that narrowly missed us.

The Cabin Women candidates weren’t distressed by our imminent deaths. The brown woman left a trail of spit on my bulge. My intelligent pants actually unzipped a few inches. The blue woman sucked on the tip of my bulge under my pants. I wondered if should could make me come in my pants. Maybe I should promote one of them before we all died.

Nah, that would show a lack of confidence. I was Captain Blastpants and the one thing I was known for other than my giant loads of come was being confident. I would fake being cocky until the very end.

“We’re all going to die!” Venda chirped. She was a parrot, she got to disagree.

“Entering the minefield!” One Eyed Peter announced.

A lifetime of space piracy sprang before my eyes. I thought of the women I had fucked, the men I had killed and the treasure I had looted. I thought of the friends I had lost and the enemies I had gained. I thought about mistakes I made and choices I will answer for if there was an afterlife.

Mostly though, I thought about tits.

“A mine exploded!” One Eyed Peter cried.

That was weird. I didn’t feel anything.

I glanced at the combat screen and saw the Solemn Pledge loosing speed. They must have hit a mine! Their port engine was leaking plasma. I watched it collide with another mine as they tried to stop their momentum. They hit a third mine before stopping completely.

“Open fire, fuckers!” Marella yelled.

This time my crew obeyed. The Savage Thrust let loose with everything we had. A terrible volley of revenge crashed into them. The Solemn Pledge rocked with explosions as large parts of the hull was reduced to wreckage.

They were near death.

“Again!” Marella said.

“Delay that!” I snapped.

Marella turned to me. “Kill those assholes now! I know you love Gan’s giant tits but they cost us a fortune!”

The entire bridge crew looked at me. I saw the anger in their eyes. I also saw their distrust of me. I had spared Kianna’s life before and they expected me to do it again.

Now it is true that I did like Kianna’s tits but I also liked her. The Captain was relentless despite all the times I bested her. I had fucked her tits and she still came after me. That took armored ovaries and I respected that. In a different situation, she would have been a hell of a Space Pirate.

But she had gone too far this time. I couldn’t spare her.

On the other hand, I didn’t respond well to my First Mate telling me what I had to do.

“Open a channel to the Solemn Pledge,” I commanded.

Marella snarled but she said nothing. Her fingers clenched awfully hard around her laser pistol though.

“Have you come to gloat? Captain Blastpants” Kianna yelled from the view screen. Her bridge was on fire and some of her crew was trying to put it out. A single strand of black hair had escaped her military bun and was hung sexily over her face. Her uniform was torn and I could see the top half of a black bra holding one of her giant breasts.

“If you set up this minefield you should be aware that you are violating the Articles of Safe Travels as established in the Omigon Accords!” Kianna added.

“Good to know,” I said. “I am calling to see if you would be willing to surrender.”

Marella snarled. Quite a few of my bridge crew snarled too.

“Never!” Kianna said. “I remember what happened last time I surrendered!”

I smiled. Damn, her tits had been nice and soft. “Fine. I will fire a single beam weapon at your ship every five minutes until your ship slowly crumbles and falls apart around you. It will be a slow and humiliating way for your crew to die. Shit, it might take all day.”

Marella laughed. My crew laughed.

“Slow and painful!” Venda chirped. My parrot was bloodthirsty too.

Kianna said nothing. Her stern composure was immaculate.

“Or,” I said.

Marella stopped laughing. So did my crew.

Kianna arched an eyebrow. “Or?”

“Or you strip down and masturbate right there in your command chair,” I said. “If you entertain me then I will leave and you can spend the next week getting your ship back together.”

“Asshole,” Marella said. I threw her a stern look but I saw she was smiling.

“You are a walking perversion!” Kianna said.

“Hit her ship with cannon one,” I said.

A crew member chuckled and I watched Captain Gan struggle to stay on her feet as her ship rocked.

“Fine!” Captain Gan yelled. “I accept your terms and I will add a count of sexual coercion to your crimes!”

I leaned back in my chair. My intelligent pants unzipped. The two women between my thighs dived for my cock with their mouths. I grabbed both of them by the hair. “Only use your hands,” I whispered. I wanted to make this last.

I looked up at Kianna. “I don’t see you stripping,” I said.

Kianna looked at me with fury but she reached for the zipper at the top of her uniform. She pulled it down to reveal the black bra that held her breasts. Once again the Pik Collective proved their superiority with engineering by the fact that any bra could hold those giant tits.

She wiggled out of her uniform and struggled to get it past her hips and round butt. Regulation black panties covered her sex. She started to take her boots off but I interrupted her.

“The boots stay on,” I said.

The fury in Kianna’s eyes changed to smoldering hatred.

“Get that bra off!” Marella yelled. “We want to see those tits again!”

The crew laughed as Kianna bit her lip. As professionally as she could, Kianna stripped off her bra and zero ceremony. It didn’t matter. As soon as her giant breasts became free, gasps and moans were heard all around me.

“Those aren’t moons!” Venda chirped. She was right.

By the Lords of Space, she had perfect breasts. Hard pink nipples topped beautiful mountains of soft flesh. They hung with the weight of their magnificence. I don’t know what they fed Pik Collective women but it was working.

“Get those panties off!” One Eyed peter yelled. He was always a pussy man.

Kianna stripped off her panties with the same military precision. The bush of her sex was trimmed into a precise triangle that I was sure was in accordance to some regulation.

“Grab those breasts!” I yelled now that she was nearly naked. “Let us see how soft they are.”

Kianna glared at me but she obeyed. She sunk her fingers into the bountiful flesh. I watched the pale flesh spill out of her grip. There was simply too much to grab.

My cock throbbed. The blue woman stroked the base of my cock while the brown woman stroked the tip. I saw Kianna’s eyes flicker to my lap and I saw disgust come to her lips. It galled her that I was deriving pleasure from her humiliation.

I wasn’t the only one. Marella pulled her shorts down and was fingering her thick red bush. Old Nathan leaned back in his chair and was pumping his cock. Big Zally had her pants down and had three fingers buried in her wet sex. In fact, with the exception of the women stroking my cock, everyone on the bridge was stroking off to the sight of Kianna.

Oh, how she must have hated that!

“Pinch your nipples” someone yelled.

Kianna did as she was told. She pinched both nipples although she was going a little easy on her self.

“Pinch and twist!” Venda chirped.

“You heard the parrot!” I snapped. The crew laughed.

Kianna twisted her nipples. She bit her lip to keep from showing discomfort. We didn’t care. We were too busy watching those fat tits roll and stretch with her twisting.

“Harder!” Marella snapped.

Kianna twisted her nipples savagely. The pain was obvious on her face. Dam, I wish I was there to twist them myself.

I noticed something. The crew behind Kianna had stopped with their chores. They were watching their Captain get humiliated and quite a few of them had smiles on their faces. One of the female crew members licked her lips while a male crewman was leaning awfully hard against a chair. They might have been Pik Collective but they weren’t immune to a naked busty woman.

“Bite one of your tits!” Old Nathan yelled.

Kianna hesitated.

“Prepare to fire,” I commanded.

Kianna quickly dipped her head down and pulled a breast to her mouth. Lords of Space, it wasn’t even hard for her. She pulled her breast to her mouth and bit down.

A dozen groans of pleasure moaned all through out my bridge.

“Now bite the other one!” Big Zally said.

Kianna obeyed. She sank her teeth into her other breast. Her dark eyes glared hatred at us. It made her look hotter.

“Enough play,” I said. “Sit in your chair and start fingering yourself.”

Giggles erupted among my bridge crew. Kianna released her breast from her mouth and a pink bite mark glowed. She sat down with as much dignity as she could and placed her hand over her sex. Her palm rubbed up and down over her sex.

“No, no, no,” I said. “Spread those thighs. Don’t use your whole hand, use two fingers. Your pussy is our prize and we demand to see it.”

An angry pout formed on Kianna’s lips. That was quite the trick. I hadn’t seen someone be angry and pout at the same time. This might be the reason I kept saving her life; she always had a new surprise for me.

Kianna spread her thighs and moved her hand. The bridge crew laughed when they saw the dampness of her pubic hair. She reached between her legs and just as I had ordered, used to fingers to stroke herself.

The crew grew quiet as they saw her fingers part the pink lips of her sex. All you could hear was the stroking of cocks and the fingering of pussies. Even Venda quietly watched from my shoulder. Everyone was watching the proud Pik Collective Captain masturbate for our amusement.

“Pinch one of your pussy lips as you stroke,” I commanded. My cock throbbed in the hands of the two women stroking me.

Kianna stared right at me as she obeyed. She winced as her sharp nails dug into her pussy lip. Her other hand stroked faster perhaps to counteract the pain.

“I should have known a deviant like you wouldn’t be satisfied with mere self stimulation,” Kianna accused.

“True,” I said. “Now grab some of your pussy hair and pull while you keep stroking.”

Kianna snarled but she did what I said. Her fingers clenched around her short curly hair and pulled with all her might. A red flush came to her cheeks as she struggled with the discomfort.

The potential Cabin Women stroked me faster. They switched places and the brown woman was at my base while the blue woman rubbed my tip. They worked well together.

“Rub your juices onto your tits,” Marella said. Her voice was huskier than usual.

Kianna took the opportunity of this new command to stop pulling her pussy hair. Her fingers dug deep into her sex and then she brought them up to her breasts. She smeared her juices onto her breasts. They began to shine.

“Lords of Space,” Old Nathan groaned and then he loudly climaxed.

Kianna’s nose wrinkled with disgust. She kept stroking though. Her hips began to writhe as she stroked harder.

“Suck on your fingers,” I commanded. “Suck on them like they were the cocks of my crew.”

“Disgusting hedonist,” Kianna said as she brought her lips to her mouth.

We watched in awe as her cheeks caved in around her fingers. Her lips formed a tight seal as she sucked hard on her fingers.

“Fuck,” Marella whimpered and judging from the rapid thrusts of her own fingers, I think she came.

Kianna’s body shuddered. She tried to hide it but those large tits of her shook like they her ship had taken another hit. Her fingers slowed down inside her sex and she was taking deep breaths.

“Faster,” I commanded her. “Use both hands and fuck your pussy for us.”

Kianna’s fingers left her mouth and a line of spit connected back to her lips. The spit broke as her fingers went down to her sex. She was using both hands but she was still holding back.

“Faster, Captain,” I told her. “Pound that pussy of yours.”

Kianna narrowed her eyes at me. She knew how close she was. She stroked herself faster and her face became neutral as she tried to hide her pleasure.

The women at my lap stroked me faster. I pulled them by their hair until they were on either side of my legs. Their hands moved together as they tightened their grip on me.

“Look at my cock, Captain,” I told her. “Look at my cock as you fuck yourself.”

One of Kianna’s crew women gasped behind her. Several of them had turned bright red with a mixture of anger and lust. All of them were clenching their hands to keep from using them.

Kianna’s eyes went to my cock. She watched the brown hand and the blue hand pump my thick member. She saw how hard I was.

Her fingers went faster. She stroked deeper. Her stoic façade broke slightly and a moan came from her lips.

Someone on my bridge came, shouting their orgasm.

“Picture me fucking you,” I said.

Kianna shook her head but I knew the image had already taken hold. Her thighs widened; her fingers pumped faster and she bit her lip. Kianna kept shaking her head but her eyes wouldn’t leave my cock.

I came. I never took my eyes off of her as the two women kept jacking me. My cock erupted like a volcano and made a mess on my lap.

“Damn,” Kianna whispered and her eyes clenched shut. She froze in mid stroke and pulled out a finger to grab a plump breast. She squeezed her tit tightly as her body writhed and wiggled on her command chair.

“Cut transmission,” I commanded and the display screen went dark. “Set a course for New Fortune. We have some repairs to make.”

Marella looked at me from her station chair. She was cleaning her fingers with her mouth and giving me an odd look.

“Do you have a problem?” I asked her.

She smiled. “That was exceptionally cruel. You made her pleasure herself for us. I’m broadcasting her little performance to the entire ship.”

I smiled back at her. “And the next time you tell me what to do in front of my bridge crew, they’ll be watching your performance next.”

Marella’s smile faltered for a moment. “Aye, Captain.”

I turned my attention back to the women at my feet. “Well, I have a mess on my lap. You’re both Cabin Women, clean it up.”

Both of them dipped their heads back onto my lap and cleaned me with their mouths.

Jan 122015

Warning for Every Member of the Alliance of Free Asteroids

The renegade, Lt Marella Stones, has been recently spotted in Arc Four. She is not to be trusted in any way, shape or form. For the love of the Lords of Space, do not proposition her. Contact a Freebooter Captain immediately and assist them in any way in her capture or termination.

The charges against this renegade include Revealing of Freebooter Secrets to Space Pirates, Exploitation of Secret Asteroid Hideouts and Flagrant Disregard for Freebooter Traditions of Fair Warfare.

Lt Marella Stones formerly served aboard the Zero Taxation with mixed distinction. She earned six citations for Outstanding Aggression but also was accused of four counts of Striking Superior Officers as well as three counts of Violently Declining Sexual Propositions. She also refused to pay the voluntary Tithe of Profits for the Freebooter Widows, Orphans and Pets Fund.

She was scheduled for retraining back at the Freebooter Academy when she engineered a one-woman mutiny and marooned the entire crew of the Zero Taxation on a space wreck. She then became a space pirate using the Zero Taxation as her ship until it was destroyed by Pik Collective forces. Marella currently serves with Captain Blastpants aboard the Savage Thrust.

A reward of Four Thousand MegaCreds and the ownership of a Medium Asteroid are being offered for any information leading to the arrest or termination of Lt Marella Stones.

Dec 082014

Priority Alpha Directive From Supreme Command Headquarters.

The rogue battle machine known as Warbot-65 as been spotted in your field of operation. Warbot-65 is considered a Level Five Challenge threat and should not be engaged by anything of Squad Level Three or lower. Additional asset allocation of twenty points is authorized for engagements with Warbot-65.

Warbot-65 was assigned to War Force Raven Sword and acquired seventy commendations for Superior Performance in the battlefield. Warbot-65 also acquired six demerits for Unauthorized Decoration as the machine inexplicably would paint itself garish colors and adorn itself with faux sexual organs.

During Operation Vermin Control, Warbot-65 was part of a force assigned to clearing out space pirates from the Farinelli Nebula. During this operation, Warbot-65 turned on his own squad and joined a group of space pirates.

Rogue software was detected in the Farinelli Nebula and is the primary suspect for Warbot-65’s defection. A secondary suspect is Warbot-65’s superior officer, Lieutenant Cart, was criminally deviant and may have programmed Warbot-65 with pseudo sexual functions. Full analysis will not be possible until Warbot-65 is terminated and examined.

Warbot-65 now travels as a member of Captain Blastpants’ crew. Their current ship is designated the Savage Thrust.

Be advised that although Warbot-65 may appear ridiculous while decorated with fake breasts, leather harnesses and strap-ons, the battle machine is still an efficient combat robot with full capabilities.