Visitors to Euphoria have many ways of travelling around the great planet. They can rent an automated skimmer, ride a well endowed equine beast or rent a personal jetpack. However the most comfortable and most famous way to get around the planet is to ride the Trans-Euphorian Mobile Express, better known as the Golden Snake.

Established by Queen Erishella, the Golden Snake is a luxury anti-gravity train with stops at every major city, pleasure resort, slave market and tourist attraction on the planet. Being an anti-gravity train, there is no track and the route of the train is easily changed. The Queen has made it quite clear that being a stop on the train is a privilege and frequently has the train skips stops that have displeased her or worse, bored her. Because of this, every stop does whatever they can to appeal to the Queen’s sophisticated and sadistic tastes.

No expense is spared for those who ride the Golden Snake. Passengers are treated to leather seats imported from the Jungle system of Phob while being attended by the exotic service slaves from conquered worlds. A world-mind level Artificial Intelligence has been reduced to the role of executive chef and can provide any meal in the known galaxy. The air itself on board the Golden Snake has been brought at great expense from distant gas giants.

The most famous luxury is without a doubt the personal Mouth Slave that is assigned to each seat. These slaves kneel before every seat and offer their mouths in any way that pleases the rider before them. Passengers are encouraged to use the wide array of stimuli buttons to reward the Mouth Slaves for good service or punish them for inadequate licking.

The high prices of the Golden Snake may discourage most interested tourists but Queen Erishella, in her infinite mercy, has provided a method of payment for those less wealthy. For every one hundred kilometers that a person serves as a Mouth Slave, they gain one kilometer in credit towards a purchase of a Golden snake ticket.

–Euphorian Gazetteer

Visitors to the planet of Euphoria should be made aware that they will likely encounter merchants who claim to have in their possession an article of intimate clothing belonging to Queen Erishella. They will claim that this item possesses the power to heal libidos, seduce the uncaring and smells fantastic. They will offer this extraordinary item for the low price of a mere king’s ransom.

What they do not mention is that possession of the Queen’s underwear is against Euphorian law and can result in either a fine, years of sexual service or death.

After Queen Erishella discards an undergarment, the item is taken to one of her many shrines where it is put on public display. It is encased in laminatium where it can be admired by citizens and tourists for centuries to come. Shrines compete ferociously for the right to her latest undergarments, especially those worn during conquests made by the Queen.

Over the years, some undergarments acquire legendary statuses of their own. The Crotchless Panties of the Luc Temple, worn during the Queen’s Birthday Orgy is said to inspire erotic inspiration in any artist who sees them. The Shiny Blue Bra of the Paqt Temple is said to strike blind with envy those who are flat-chested. The Thong of the Mis Temple is said to cause irritation and discomfort in anyone who stands too long in its presence.

There are rumors that the underground undergarment market is supplied directly by the Queen’s government itself in order to profit from the high black market prices, but such speculation is of course treason.

–Euphorian Gazetteer

First time visitors to the planet of Euphoria should be aware of a recent musical trend.  If you find yourself dancing at a club and you find yourself inexplicably aroused and attracted to the person in front of you that is the antithesis of your usual sexual tastes, you have not gone insane but you are experiencing the new musical phenomenon known as Dubgrunt.

Dubgrunt was made possible by a new musical instrument called the Sextair.  The Sextair is a stringed pipe instrument that creates notes that also send subliminal messages to the listener’s libido.  The music is quite beautiful by itself but the sudden arousal and altering of sexual preferences based on the notes, temp and rhythm has made the Sextair the most important musical instrument ever created.

This incredible invention was created by the sensation-scientists of Queen Erishella for the Queen’s Band.  In her infinite mercy towards those less sensual than her, Queen Erishella has allowed its use by the masses.  The Queen collects a royalty on every song created with a Sextair so music pirates should beware.  Pirating a song that uses a Sextair is a Treasonous Offense and is enforced by the Queen’s Torturer’s Guild.  Albums of music pirates being tortured by the Queen’s Torturer’s Guild are quite popular as well.

Currently, the artist known as Pylie Sin is top of the music charts.  Her debut song, “Cocks, Cocks, Cocks” was the quickest song to ever reach number one.  Her follow up song, “You Touch Yourself” went double Astatine in two weeks.  She is currently on a one year tour of the Queen’s Pleasure Palaces performing songs from her new album, “Oops, You Climaxed Again”.

–Euphorian Gazetteer

The Monster Fuck Rally is an annual event that takes place at the remote island of Blood Sands. Biological Siege Monsters swim, fly and walk through the ocean from nearby Rampage Island to mate with each other at Blood Sands. The terrible beasts, many of them as large as the tallest buildings, fuck for seven days until the survivors return back to the ocean to go back to Rampage Island. The sexual adventures and dismemberments are recorded by satellites and transmitted to the entire population of Euphoria.

The Biological Siege Monsters are the descendents of the surviving monstrosities used by King Grim in the Genetic Wars with the Blade Alliance. These creatures were engineered to possess great strength, numerous natural weapons and a body mass that rivaled mountains. They were used to destroy cities, fortresses and populations.

After the Gene War, King Grim declared them Heroes of the Kingdom and allocated them Rampage Island as their new home. The monsters possess little to no intelligence and were happy with their isolation. They spend their time fighting, knocking down trees and screaming howls to the uncaring sky. Many of them feed on each other, their natural healing abilities making it possible to provide a meal to an enemy and survive.

Due to the unstable genetics of the Siege Monsters, many permutations and mutations appear among the creatures. One beast may be a giant flying moth that excretes radioactive fire while another creature might be a three headed flying best that screams hypersonic cries that shatter tanks. New variations are appearing all the time.

Although their genetics had been heavily modified, they still possessed sex drives as no Euphorian scientist would ever think to remove a sex drive, even from towering forces of devastation. Even though the monsters are radically different from one another, it doesn’t stop them from mating with each other. A monstrous bird will mate with an even more monstrous squid. A horrifying blob monster will penetrate a terrifying crab creature. Their sex drive overcomes any differences in shape.

The Siege Monsters travel to Blood Sands due to some instinct that scientists have yet to understand. It may simply be that the violence inherent in their mating is something that they would rather do away from their home.

It has become a hobby among the wealthiest of Euphorians to construct great buildings on Blood Sands during the non-migration period. The wealthy compete with each other create the most fragile buildings, the most glorious temporary monuments and the most spectacular collapses for when a hundred foot tall monster tries to hump a two hundred foot tall four legged creature that sprays fire. This gross expense of wealth only to see it destroyed has become a way for the truly wealthy to stand out from their less wealthy peers.

Queen Erishella has recently begun banishing war prisoners to Blood Sands one day prior to the mating season. Flying vid-cameras record the futile efforts of survival for the thrill starved Euphorian citizenry. Ratings reached their peak when an entire encampment of prisoners drowned in a flash flood of Siege Monster ejaculate.

Souvenir Sex Toys are made from the remains of the Siege Monsters that die during the mating season. They are alleged to greatly enhance virility, make breasts fuller, tighten vaginas and remove wrinkles.

–Euphorian Gazetteer

The early history of Euphoria was a time of chaos and instant gratification. Most Euphorians were content to molest each other and indulge their own appetites to the point that technology barely reached crude metal making. The world was broken up into small country-states, each ruled by one of the Seven Lords and Ladies of Pleasure. The Lords and Ladies never worked together and in fact wasted precious resources by battling each other.

This pitiful state of affairs continued until the appearance of the famed bandit, Qang. At first Qang was content to attack and raid the properties of the Seven Lords and Ladies but soon his great ambition pressed him for more. He understood that the people of Euphoria were happy to fuck and die for themselves because they never had anything higher to aspire to. Qang decided to give them a reason to live outside of their own desires. He would lead them to fight and die for his desires.

Qang raised a great army and over a bloody period of twenty years, he conquered all of the Lords and Ladies of Pleasure. He appealed to the greed of the Euphorians by offering them great treasures that the Lords and Ladies had locked away for themselves. He impressed the masses with his public molestations of the Lords and Ladies and he won the adoration of the masses with his creative executions of all who opposed him. He was a man of the people, taking into account that the average Euphorian is a bloodthirsty pervert.

With the bones of Lords and Ladies of Pleasure, Qang created the Skull Throne. Qang declared himself King and guided his people to a new age of prosperity. Under his guidance, he founded the Great Library of Deviance, dedicated to discovering new joys for the people of Euphoria. He founded the War Academy, where the greatest brutes and sadists could perfect their craft in his armies. He created the Order of Science, where the best and the brightest were given riches and bed slaves for their scientific achievements.

King Qang ruled for fifty years before he died of natural causes. His heart stopped when his daughter, Upata, fired an arrow into his chest. Queen Upata had her father buried with great honors and declared a week of abstinence as the planet mourned.

During this week of abstinence, many visions were reported by the population. Prophets came forth and declared that they had seen King Qang enter the Underworld where the Gods of Night fuck and eat the spirits of the deceased. Instead of being eaten, King Qang had organized a resistance and overthrew the Gods of Night. Now the Gods of Night exist as servants to Qang who rules the Underworld as an extension of the Skull Throne. He lost his title of King but is now known as Father Qang. He now judges the souls of those who die and rewards the wicked and loyal and punishes the docile and traitorous.

Queen Upata honored these great prophets with a personal orgy that lasted an entire month. She dismissed the temples of the Gods of Night and had them replaced with states of Father Qang. People are free to worship whomever they please as Queen Upata was a merciful Queen. They just shouldn’t expect the same mercy from Father Qang.

The Arch-Heretic, Tesi, argued that the visions of the prophets were just a result of hallucinations brought upon by the forced week of abstinence. Tesi also argues that the month long orgy was the final bribe paid by Queen Upata to ensure that her father would replace the planet’s religion. Tesi was punished by King Fong with an amazingly creative and debasing ordeal that was immortalized in a series of holomovies and books known as ‘The Story of T’.

Curiously, the heresy never caught on with the general populace. A survey conducted by the Order of Science determined that the average Euphorian believed that if Queen Upata engineered a massive religious hoax to seize spiritual power, then it was only more proof about how worthy she was in holding the Skull Throne.

–Euphorian Gazetteer