Jul 232018

I have a soft spot in my heart, (and a hard part somewhere else) for Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, Queen of Halloween, Witch of My Dreams and Hostess with the Mostess. Most people think of Elvira as a great pair of boobs but she is more than that. She is smart and funny and a great pair of legs. Seriously, it is her humor that has carried her through the years when other pretty girl hosts have faded away.

It is that humor that also carries her comic books series, Elvira: Mistress of the Dark by Dynamite comics. In this limited series, Elvira is hosting her shoe when she opens the wrong trunk and ends up traveling through time to meet Mary Shelley on the famous weekend that inspired Shelley’s Frankenstein. Elvira and Mary team up to escape a terrible monster and it is the feminist horror creator team-up I never knew that I needed it. It was a lot of fun with plenty of smart humor, meta-references and of course, suggestive word play. It felt a lot like an unfilmed third movie in the Elvira franchise.

I am resentful that this is only a four issue mini series so I am urging to you to please buy all the copies so that will expand this into a monthly series.

May 272011

Pirate Fairies of the 8th Sea is a new black and white comic by George Webber. It features a pretty pirate Captain and her OMG adorable kitten crew. When I opened to a random page of the book and showed it to my wife, she squealed at the cuteness of the pirate kittens. Shit, I was almost squealing too. Their cuteness should be a crime.

There are two things I really loved about this book. First, the art is amazing. There is a high level of detailing that you don’t usually see in comics. Every page is a gorgeous piece by itself. The layout is a bit different in that you turn the book sideways to read it. You are flipping pages up to read. This creates an interesting effect of stacking art on top of one another.

The second thing I love about the book is that it takes place in a rather vague child’s story universe. The boat is barely big enough for the Capetian to sit in but it works. Although it has no sex, I consider this book to be a spiritual cousin to my Island princess stories in that they read like flights of fancy more than anything else. There is a dream quality to it that makes it terribly fun. Comics should be fun.

You can buy it from the author at the piratical price of Five dollars and shipping here.

Sep 172010

Captain Bluebush is a fun erotic comic by Mike Hoffman. It is a story of sexy pirates, a giant cock monster and orgies. Although filled with naked ladies, it is more of a slapstick comedy that was completely ridiculous. It is a shame that erotic comics don’t sell well anymore because this over the top story was a lot of fun. Instead of just mindlessly illustrating sex scenes, there was a kooky story of pirate extravagances. I want more comics like this.

Can I also just say that I am terribly jealous of the name, ‘Bluebush’? Cripes, the pirate naming bar has been raised.

This comic features a talking skeleton, sea monsters that look like giant cocks and a ape/woman marriage. As I write my own pirate novel, I am really toying with the idea of branching away from a psuedo-realism and embracing a more fantastical pirate story. I mean, the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise won’t be mistaken for a historical romance with their skeletons, krakens and voodoo women. Monkey Island is something I adore and it has ghosts and cannibals. I don’t want my pirate novel to be a comedy but I am leaning towards including some more fantastic trappings. A ghost or two can’t hurt.

Getting back to Captain Bluebush, I want to stress that you won’t find many great comics like this at the prices Hoffman is offering. I also highly reccomend Robin Screwso which is another great comic with the same comedic approach. You can buy both at Mike Hoffman’s site.

Aug 202010

My wife picked up the omnibus of Hack/Slash. “Why does she dress like a goth hooker?”

I shrugged. Good question.

So let’s get past that so I can tell you that Hack/Slash is one of the best comics you can read if you love horror. It takes place in a world where killers like Jason and Freddy Krueger walk around and kill teenagers with the frequency of mowing the lawn. Cassie is an adorable young woman who hunts these Slasher killers with the help of her gasmask wearing brute of a friend named Vlad, who grew up in a butcher’s basement. They hunt monsters and they sure as fuck do not make out with vampires.

Hack/Slash starts with a bunch of self contained mini-series. The Omnibus collects a shitload of them in chronological order. Although Cassie does not sleep with vampires or anyone who sparkles, she has a wonderful friendship with Vlad who might be my favorite character ever. Hot girl and deformed muscle guy are the best buddy story you will ever read. The fact that they kill supernatural mass murderers is often just bonus.

I love this series but what really inspires me is that the writers took a genre of fiction, and tried to construct a reality around it. In this universe, people with a lot of hate, rage, resentment or sexual frustration, have a chance of resurrecting when they die into horrible killers of the things that upset them. If you have ever watched a Slasher movie, it could easily exist in this universe. In fact, Hack/Slash often has official crossovers with franchise properties including Chucky and Herbert West.

Erotica shares a lot with horror. People in these genres do not act like normal people. People who exist in an erotic universe fuck with very little motivation and people who exist in a horror universe do not engage in self preservation. These universes are fundamentally different from the universe you and I walk in, and I always enjoy works that understand this. Once a writer stops trying to explain why the federal government has never shut down Crystal Lake and focuses on the oddity of a world that allows this to happen, I feel the story can only improve.

So if you love horror, adorable girls who dress like goth hookers or want to read about freaky killers getting their comeuppance, then you really need to check out Hack/Slash.

Nov 232009

The Blonde Avenger was an erotic comic published in the mid 90’s. Drawn by P.M. Butler, the art was gorgeous. he man crammed his pages with art. Muscles, hair, clothing and tits were given equal attention. The man had a style all his own and I would fucking love to know where he is now.

The other thing that the Blonde Avenger had going for it was that it was a really funny comic. They parody everything from Superman to Sgt. Rock. Everything was ridiculed and for a porn comic, it was actually funny. Comedy is hard and I think erotic comedy may be the hardest.

The first five issues centered around a female villain called Maneater. She captured men, sucked them off and gained her powers. She was like a vampire who needed semen. The men she sucked turned old and feeble.

That is the greatest porn super-villain parody ever. What do men like? Blowjobs. How does this busty woman destroy you? With the thing men like. Diabolical.

In issue #3 we discover that the Avenger was sent here as a baby from a overly liberal planet on the verge of destruction. On Earth, she is raised by sexually frustrated scientists who die in a vibrator accident. Blonde Avenger vows to rid the world of unsatisfying sex.

That is a pure 90’s invention. See, back when Democrats were in power the last time, people thought that liberals were out to take away their freedoms. It wasn’t till conservatives took office and actually took some freedoms away that people realized that maybe a conservative is not porn’s best friend. Unless you are in a bathroom stall, then it’s cool.

Blonde Avenger started as an erotic comic book and transitioned into a non-erotic parody with cheesecake elements. It didn’t do so well, which frustrated the creative people involved.

We know this because the Blonde Avenger had its own fanzine created by the creators and focused mostly on Cindy Johns. Cindy became the living spokesmodel for the Blonde Avenger. She dressed like her, answered emails in her voice and posed for cheesecake photos. She also detailed her personal feuds with every person in the industry who snubbed her.

As a fan I only had the first couple of issues. Recently I went on a hunt for the other issues and was surprised by how much focus Cindy received. The only thing I can compare it to is if you watched Wonder Woman and then the second season was all about Demi Moore begging you to watch more Wonder Woman. I want to see more Wonder Woman, but every episode is just Demi bitching about the low ratings. Demi is nice to look at, but where the fuck is Wonder Woman?

Where the fuck is the Blonde Avenger?

You know, if the creators of Blonde Avenger had a blog to vent their frustrations instead of venting it in the comic book, maybe the issues would have been more interesting. Which brings my to Erotic Blogging Tip from the 90’s, #1- Decide if you are an entertainer or a diarist, and stick to it. If you give people erotic content, don’t expect to keep them entertained with your gripes about how hard it is to create erotic content. Actually, you can do both, just make sure you keep creating content.

I own all five of the original series which can still be bought from Eros Comix. There are allegedly 27 issues of the second series, but damn if I can find them. My sentiment about the series is summed up in this picture.

As a porn writer, I am intrigued by how they struggled when they stopped doing hardcore sex and only did cheesecake. Cindy writes that she felt used because people were only interested in the sex. I think she misses the point that comics with sex that are well written are fucking rare. Marvel and DC comics have a hard time making non-sex comics centered around women, and they have color pages and sixty year old properties. Blonde Avenger had great art, great funny plots and a lot of great sexy scenes. Of course people are going to stop reading when you stop doing the things you were great at doing. I love Star Trek but I am not going to keep watching if it takes place in an office cubicle.

Having said all that, I am still a fan of the series. The art and humor was fantastic and when it was dirty, it was able to be sexy and funny at the same time. I’m trying to track down the old issues but it isn’t easy. I am also looking to find P.M. Butler and see what else he has done.

May 302008

‘Bomb Queen: Woman of Mass Destruction’ by Jimmie Robinson is self contained comic book about a sexy evil supervillian dictator of a town that may be more evil than she is. She runs the town of Newport City; killing people who offended her, molesting those who arouse her and humiliating every one for the sheer joy of it. ‘Bomb Queen’ as a book is a power mad sexual fantasy gone horribly crazy but unlike 90% of Internet erotica that deals with these same themes, Jimmie Robinson brings some intelligence and insight to the project. This is less of a story about a sexy villianess who rules a city as it is about the kind of city that would have such a person as it’s champion.

Newport City is a twisted place. Crime Zones exist in the city where anything is legal. The population revels in the decadence. Someone’s death is entertainment. Instead of sympathy they have scorn for the weak. There is no innocence. The average citizen takes pride in their perversion. These people love Bomb Queen because she embraces their values and so they forgive her anything.

The first collection is about a race for mayor of Newport City. The incumbent is a lackey for Bomb Queen while the challenger is running on a platform to clean the city of crime. Ass, tits and bombs ensue.

The first time I read this book, I thought Robinson was making a statement about the kind of people who would re-elect a war criminal to a second term. Another time I thought he was making a statement about the youtube generation who will make the most depraved videos into instant hits. Now I realize that Bomb Queen is not a thinly veiled reference to something in the real world as much as it is making us think about ourselves, the audience.

I stopped reading Usenet erotica because so many stories there were about illegal acts that disturbed me. I would trudge through dozens of rape stories to find a BDSM story I liked. Even when a story was labeled as just BDSM, sometimes rape or even killing would makee a surprise appearance. After awhile you stop being disgusted with the stories and start speculating about the writers and their readers. How was this entertainment to them? Was it for the horror? Was it for the power trip? Was it pure sadism or a sort of thrill of darkness? It is easy to make judgments but sexuality is never simple. Jimmie Robinson understands that and I applaud how he doesn’t voice judgments himself. He just tells a story about the strange connection between monstrous acts and the people who see it as entertainment.

And one thing ‘Bomb Queen’ is, is entertainment. Fights abound. Horrible deaths occur on every other page. The costume designs are works of art when it comes to crassness. Rape, pedophilia, and incest are background jokes which never let you forget how fucked up all of this is. I read each issue alternating between grimacing, laughing, thinking and being exhilarated.

So give ‘Bomb Queen’ a try. All four mini-series are in collections now. If you have to read a comic about superheroes, might as well read one that has a crazed half naked bomb throwing bad ass chick, right?

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Apr 032008

‘Bitch in Heat’ is an erotic comic series that I keep coming back to. Considering that it started around 1997, that’s a pretty nice achievement. I read a lot of erotic comics in the late 90’s. Most of them were European because quite frankly, they have a fearlessness that we can learn from in our porn making. I might flip through my collection once a year but ‘Bitch in Heat’ is something I always go back to when I knew to kick start my erotic writing mind.

Written and illustrated by Giavanna Casotto, and published by Eros Comix, every issues has several self contained stories with a wide range of plots. Sex acts range from bondage, to blackmail, to domination, to threesomes to role playing.

To me the strongest draw to this series is the fact that the protagonist is the same brunette woman in every story. She might be a maid in one story and a rich lawyer in the next, but she is always there. She is physically based on Giavanna, and normally I would say something snarky about writer’s egos, but for this medium, it really works. It creates the illusion that you are following a favorite actress in another porn movie. As watchers of porn, hell, as watchers of television, we are conditioned to follow favorite actors no matter what they do. People don’t stop watching Harrison Ford because he is no longer Han Solo. They follow him and are predisposed to like his brand new character at the moment.

It works the same way with this female character. I would make the argument that it makes the BDSM elements even more enjoyable. It is a little hard to feel sorry for the victimized teacher when three pages ago you watched the bitch terrorize her doctor coworker in another story. It creates a cyclic feel of nothing is permanent. She’s not always the victim, which makes when she is all the more special.

The other reason I keep coming back to these 11 year old comics is that they capture the range of stories you can do in porn. Many of them have ironic endings while other stories end with a a simple joke. Some of dark stories of betrayal while others are more slapstick farce. Although bondage and voyeurism are common themes, the stories touch on damn near everything after awhile. That’s good. Too many writers focus on niche interests, repeating them over and over like a polished act. ‘Bitch in Heat’ however is a sort of erotic fiction primer. If you are a starting erotica writer, picking up an issue will show you how one person handles many themes. It’s porn 101 which I have to say, is not as easily available as you may think.

Finally, I really enjoy the art. Black and white is an under appreciated medium in erotica. There is a playfulness that manages to not cross over into camp. On the other hand there are images that are just vulgar but the black and white transform a close up pussy shot into something exotic. Every issue is just beautiful.

Go to Eros Comix and order yourself some already. At $3.50 an issue, you can’t go wrong.