“We received 36 offers for your house,” the realtor said. “The highest offer is for forty thousand over your asking price. The second highest is twenty thousand over, but they are willing to pay cash which means we can close in a day if you want.”
“Holy shit,” I said. “I knew it was a seller’s market but this is crazy.”
“I also want to draw your attention to three more offers that are a bit more unconventional,” the realtor said. She passed me a portrait photo of an attractive blonde woman. It looked like a boudoir shot. The woman was wearing a red negligee with matching red lipstick. There was a knowing look in her eye that promised dirty things.
“This offer is ten thousand over your asking price, but it includes a one time offer of oral sex performed by the wife of the purchasing couple. Their offer includes the invitation to ejaculate in her mouth, on her face or on her breasts.”
I stared at my realtor. I didn’t think she had this dirty of a sense of humor. Her deadpan delivery was perfect.
“Is this for real?” I asked.
My realtor nodded. “Like I said, it is a very competitive market.”
“What the fuck are the other offers?”
The realtor passed me a set of small Polaroid pictures. They featured a black woman completely nude on a bed. She had lovely small breasts and a rather large bush of black hair. The things she was doing to a dildo was anatomically impressive.
“This offer comes from a couple who will be moving in with their adult daughter,” the realtor said. “The offer is for the asking price, but they are including the free use of their daughter for one day a month for twelve months, along with a lifetime subscription to the woman’s OnlyFans. Apparently, the daughter is in the top point six percent of content providers.”
I licked my lips. One photo showed incredible flexibility with her legs. “What does free use mean?”
“It simply means you can engage in sexual activity at your discretion. Though I do want to emphasize that it only applies for one day a month.”
“And there is a third offer?”
The realtor turned her laptop around to face me. There was a video of a curvy redhead wearing nothing but a leather collar around her neck. She was bent over a bench, sucking a masked man’s cock while a masked woman spanked her from behind.
“This offer is for ten thousand less than the asking price, but it includes the gift of a submissive woman who will be willing to live with you. The buying couple trains submissives for a living and this one owes them a personal favor of some sort. You will have full responsibility and use of their submissive for a three-year period with the exception of a two-week period during the Christmas holidays.”
I watched the video and took note of the attractive way the redhead wriggled within her restraints.
“Oh wow,” I whispered. “I see what you mean by a seller’s market.”
“Do you need time to consider which offer you want to accept?”
I looked at the photos in front of me. My mind went back to the highest offer that seemed so boring and dull in retrospect. The portrait with the blonde stared up at me, inviting me to ruin her makeup. The pictures of the black woman tempted me with sexual gymnastics. On the video, the redhead submitted to more debauchery. All the while, I weighed the temptations with the offset in purchasing price. There were my own expenses to consider.
“No need,” I replied. “I know which offer I am taking.”