Jan 122015

Warning for Every Member of the Alliance of Free Asteroids

The renegade, Lt Marella Stones, has been recently spotted in Arc Four. She is not to be trusted in any way, shape or form. For the love of the Lords of Space, do not proposition her. Contact a Freebooter Captain immediately and assist them in any way in her capture or termination.

The charges against this renegade include Revealing of Freebooter Secrets to Space Pirates, Exploitation of Secret Asteroid Hideouts and Flagrant Disregard for Freebooter Traditions of Fair Warfare.

Lt Marella Stones formerly served aboard the Zero Taxation with mixed distinction. She earned six citations for Outstanding Aggression but also was accused of four counts of Striking Superior Officers as well as three counts of Violently Declining Sexual Propositions. She also refused to pay the voluntary Tithe of Profits for the Freebooter Widows, Orphans and Pets Fund.

She was scheduled for retraining back at the Freebooter Academy when she engineered a one-woman mutiny and marooned the entire crew of the Zero Taxation on a space wreck. She then became a space pirate using the Zero Taxation as her ship until it was destroyed by Pik Collective forces. Marella currently serves with Captain Blastpants aboard the Savage Thrust.

A reward of Four Thousand MegaCreds and the ownership of a Medium Asteroid are being offered for any information leading to the arrest or termination of Lt Marella Stones.

  2 Responses to “Wanted: Lt Marella Stones”

  1. “How did one women steal an entire ship?”

    “Could you please… get my balls out of the airlock door before… asking questions?”

    “How did she get all ten of you in the same door?”

    “Balls. Out. Of. Airlock!”

    “Damn, you don’t have to all yell.”

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