Dec 082014

Priority Alpha Directive From Supreme Command Headquarters.

The rogue battle machine known as Warbot-65 as been spotted in your field of operation. Warbot-65 is considered a Level Five Challenge threat and should not be engaged by anything of Squad Level Three or lower. Additional asset allocation of twenty points is authorized for engagements with Warbot-65.

Warbot-65 was assigned to War Force Raven Sword and acquired seventy commendations for Superior Performance in the battlefield. Warbot-65 also acquired six demerits for Unauthorized Decoration as the machine inexplicably would paint itself garish colors and adorn itself with faux sexual organs.

During Operation Vermin Control, Warbot-65 was part of a force assigned to clearing out space pirates from the Farinelli Nebula. During this operation, Warbot-65 turned on his own squad and joined a group of space pirates.

Rogue software was detected in the Farinelli Nebula and is the primary suspect for Warbot-65’s defection. A secondary suspect is Warbot-65’s superior officer, Lieutenant Cart, was criminally deviant and may have programmed Warbot-65 with pseudo sexual functions. Full analysis will not be possible until Warbot-65 is terminated and examined.

Warbot-65 now travels as a member of Captain Blastpants’ crew. Their current ship is designated the Savage Thrust.

Be advised that although Warbot-65 may appear ridiculous while decorated with fake breasts, leather harnesses and strap-ons, the battle machine is still an efficient combat robot with full capabilities.

  2 Responses to “Target Designation: Warbot-65”

  1. “What happened?”

    “I don’t know, all I saw was fake dildos and these HUGE breasts right before someone opened up with 50 mm cannons at point blank range.”

    *groan* “Don’t tell, the cannons came out of the—”

    “That fake ass mounted right on the front! I thought I saw ‘Kiss My’ but the rest of it was just a blur of flame, explosions, and flying cocks!”

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