The Cabin Woman grinded on my cock. I was sitting upright and she was humping the hell out of me. Her pussy was a clamp around my cock and her hips were in constant motion. Long blonde hair bounced in my face as her mouth moaned an orgasm.
I was looking over her shoulder. The view screen for the bridge showed the freighter that we were attacking. One of the freighter’s shields flickered and failed. Plasma shots tore into the freighter’s weapons array. It was a mess of fire and shrapnel.
“Captain Blastpants, they still won’t surrender,” a crewman called out.
“Fuck them,” I said. The Cabin Woman groaned as she humped me. Profanity turned her on. “They had their chance to surrender. Activate the Blade Beam and expose their hull to space.”
The Blade Beam was an awesome weapon. It creates this large solid beam that shears through metal and bisects warships. With this in mind, you can imagine my surprise when instead of a large yellow beam of death; a rapid flickering of yellow light danced over the hull of the freighter and did no damage whatsoever.
“What the hell was that?” I asked. I pushed the Cabin Woman off of my lap. She started humping my foot as my intelligent pants zipped back up.
“I think we carved something onto their hull,” Old Nathan said. “I’m zooming in now.”
“The freighter surrendered,” Pious Pam said.
“Yeah, they probably shit themselves when the Blade Beam activated. Accept their surrender and tell them to change their underwear.”
The viewscreen zoomed in on what the Blade Beam did to the freighter. Old Nathan was right; the Beam Blade had performed an act of graffiti. It was quite legible. It said, “Captain Shitpants was here”.
The bridge was deathly quiet except for the moans of the Cabin Woman humping my leg. The bridge crew knew that all hell was about to be unleashed.
I stood up and kicked the Cabin woman off my foot. Geena, or was it Gia, looked up at me with disappointment in her lusty eyes. Cabin Women could be so needy.
“Morella, you have the bridge,” I said.
“Aye Captain,” Morella said. “May I ask where you are going?”
“I’ll be in the IT bay,” I told her.
I stormed off the bridge and headed for my quarters. My pulse was pounding in my ears. Captain Shitpants! The nerds in the IT department had gone too far this time! I had no doubt that the jokers there thought it would be funny to manipulate the Blade Beam firing sequence. I knew for a fact that they were giggling at this very moment. I was absolutely certain that they were dying to see the look on my face.
It was my own damn fault. It started when they had misprogrammed the shields and I ass fucked each of them as punishment. After that incident, the “accidental programming mistakes” had been escalating and after each occasion, my sexual punishment has escalated as well. It had turned into a process of fuck up and be fucked. They had just gone too far this time.
I went into my quarters and went for my personal treasure box. A dark mood had taken me. I prepared myself for revenge.
Wrist lasers? Check.
Nipple Drones? Check.
Lust Web? Check.
Pain Glove? Check.
I marched out of my quarters and towards the IT Bay. Pirates back in the days of ocean ships never had this problem. All they needed were sailors. Spaceships required all sorts of people to keep it functioning. We needed people who could fight, people who could maintain a space engine, people who understood life support systems, people who could repair metal and people who could do the math necessary for space travel. Most of all we needed nerds who could fix computer systems that ran almost all of this shit.
Sometimes nerds needed to be fucked back into their place.
I kicked open the door to the IT Bay. A music box blasted a song. I think it was “Females of All Species Greatly Prefer Recreational Activities”. The IT girls were sitting around the music player and yep, they were laughing.
I shot the music player with my wrist laser. It exploded nicely.
“Space Buddha!!” Jen-4 said. She was their leader. She was also a cyberdyne with long black hair and a video display instead of eyes. The holographic glyph of LOL that floated above her head changed to WTF.
“Lords of Space!” Mauna said. She was a tall girl with dark red skin, messy brown hair and glasses.
“We’re sorry, we’re sorry!” Ro yelled. She was the coward of the group but she also had huge tits which often saved her.
Not today they won’t.
I tossed the Lust Web grenade at Ro. It exploded in front of her and wrapped her in hundreds of white bands. The web bands dissolved her clothes in an instant with fast acting acids. She fell off her chair and struggled to stand. The web strands made sure that was never going to happen.
I pointed at Mauna. “Take your shirt off, now!”
Mauna obeyed. She whipped her shirt off in record time to reveal dark red breasts the color of Tharkan sand.
I tossed the Nipple Drones at her. They activated and flew straight at her tits. Each drone latched onto a nipple and bit down hard. Mauna cried out as the Nipple Drones bit down with unforgiving sharpness.
“Fuck!” Mauna yelled. She tried to pull the Nipple Drones off but they had anti-gravity engines and teeth that would hold onto an open airlock.
“It was just a joke!” Jen-4 said. A hologram glyph of J/K hovered above her.
“This isn’t,” I said as I raised my right hand. The Pain Glove activated and little arcs of neural-stimulating energy danced along my fingers.
“Oh shit,” Jen-4 whispered. SOL hovered above her.
I grabbed her hair with my ungloved hand. I yanked her to her feet and then threw her over her desk. Her monitor crashed to the ground. Out of spite, I shot the monitor with my wrist laser.
My gloved hand pulled down her shorts. Her pale naked ass clenched in front of me. I brought the Pain Glove down lightly on her ass for a light smack.
“HOLY SHIT!” Jen-4 screamed. The Pain Glove had stimulated the nerve endings in her ass to magnify my light slap into a full roundhouse swing of unimaginable force. !!! floated above her head.
I held her head down as she jumped and squirmed. I wanted to give her a second to process the small taste of what was coming. I also just liked watching her ass wiggle.
“Lords of Space, Lords of Space!” Ro moaned. The aphrodisiacs in the Lust Web were kicking in. Everywhere that the web touched her skin was stimulating her sexual urges. She desperately wanted to fuck or hump something. It was too bad that the web prevented from doing anything but rolling around helplessly.
“Ow, ow, ow!” Mauna screamed. The Nipple Drones were pulling at her nipples as far as her breasts could go. They were also twisting in the air, twisting her nipples as well.
“How dare you sabotage my weapons,” growled at Jen-4. I lightly tapped her ass again. The Pain Glove made it feel like I had hit her with a paddle going the speed of sound.
Jen-4 screamed. :( appeared above her head. “We weren’t in danger!” she yelled. “We programmed it only to do it if it detected no functioning weapons on enemy ships!”
I slapped her ass again, this time as hard as I could. I forgot that I was wearing the Pain Glove. Jen-4 screamed as she struggled to escape my grasp.
“And what if the sensors were down? Or you made a mistake?” I yelled. “What if we fucking needed the Blade Beam to save our lives and instead it was making smart ass jokes?”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Jen-4 yelled. “We thought it was funny and you would fuck the shit out of us!”
A little of my anger faded. It was a little funny. It was also a little flattering to know that they just wanted to fuck me. I mean, I am Captain Blastpants, everyone wants to fuck me, but it is nice to see some people risk mutilation and death to tell me.
Ro let out a howl of sexual frustration. She struggled against the Lust Web but it wasn’t letting her go. Her giant breasts were being squeezed tighter and tighter with each futile effort she made.
Mauna was biting down hard on her lip. She was gripping the arms of her chair as the Nipple Drones increased their clamping strength and added more violent twists to their flight paths.
I looked down at Jen-4’s ass. Her ivory bottom had three very distinct handprints from where the pain Glove had tapped her. I also noticed that her thighs were soaking wet from her pussy.
“Are you nerds, sorry?” I asked.
“Yes!” all three of them yelled at the same time. SRY floated above Jen-4’s head.
I tossed a solvent bomb at Ro. It coated her in white foam that dissolved the Lust Web. Her hands free, she immediately started masturbating.
I pressed a button on my communicator. The Nipple Drones released Mauna’s nipples and she gasped with relief. Both of her nipples were now a bright white color from the clamping. She too started masturbating.
I turned off my Pain Glove and reached between Jen-4’s thighs. My gloved fingers went into her pussy and slid right in. She moaned with pleasure and :D appeared above her.
“Fucking nerds,” I said. “Next time prank my shower, but don’t fuck with the ship weapons.”
The IT women just moaned as they enjoyed their personal pleasure.
“You two, get over here,” I snapped. I pulled my fingers out of Jen-4 and grabbed her by the hair. I yanked her down to her knees. She grabbed my thighs and looked up at me with her video display. 8==> flashed above her.
My intelligent pants unzipped themselves and my cock sprang out. Jen-4 opened her mouth and sucked the head of my cock. She wrinkled her nose when she tasted my Cabin Woman’s pussy but she kept sucking.
I pulled my cock out of her mouth. “No, it was probably your idea, so you get something more special,” I said.
? floated above Jen-4’s head.
I turned around so that my ass was in front of her. I reached behind me and grabbed her head. Jen-4 didn’t fight as I pushed her face into my ass. Her mouth opened and I felt her tongue licking my asshole.
FML appeared above her head and I laughed. Cyberdynes have highly sensitive sensory organs. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what she tasted right now. Considering the groans I heard, it was pretty interesting.
The other two IT women crawled up to me. They were on their knees and they leaned forward to lick my cock. I felt Ro’s heavy breasts press against my thighs as Mauna’s curly hair brushed my other thigh. Ro sucked the head of my cock while Mauna licked the shaft.
I moaned happily. This was almost worth having “Captain Shitpants” burned into a freighter hull. I am sure it will prompt a lot of speculation when they get to port.
In the meantime, I was enjoying the three mouths on me. I thrust into Ro’s mouth as Mauna sucked on the side of my cock. I shivered as Jen-4’s tongue played with my asshole. I stood tall among the IT women as they paid for their mischief with their mouths. It felt pretty damn good.
The nerds were enjoying it too. Ro stroked herself so fast that when she climaxed, I felt her moans around my cock. Mauna took my cock from her and swallowed me completely as she played with herself. Her red hands were buried in her pussy as she choked on my cock.
Even Jen-4 was masturbating as she licked my ass. It is probably what kept her licking despite her disgust with the task. I reached behind and smothered her face in my ass. I wanted her to get as deep as she could.
Mauna and Ro took turns with my cock. Ro was a hungry suck on the tip of my cock while Mauna took me all the way down her throat. When one sucked, the other licked what they could. Mauna licked the base of my cock while Ro went for my balls.
As for Jen-4, all she licked was my ass and it felt fantastic. It wasn’t that her tongue was nimble and pushing against my ass. It felt great simply because the next time she thinks about pranking me, she’ll remember the taste of my ass.
My balls tightened and I took mercy on Jen-4. I pulled her off my ass and took my cock out of Ro’s mouth. I stroked my cock as I pulled Jen-4 around to join her fellow IT nerds.
I pumped my cock in front of all three of them. “No more sabotaging weapons, right?”
All three of them nodded. Their faces were flushed from their orgasms and their punishments. Jen-4 kept rubbing her tongue with her fingers.
I stroked myself faster. “And no more Shitpants jokes,” I added.
They all leaned in closer. Ro opened her mouth first but the others followed her lead. :P appeared above Jen-4.
I climaxed. Being a fair space pirate captain, I gave them all an equal share. My seed splashed on Jen-4’s optical screen, Ro’s waiting mouth and Mauna’s cheeks. I also got come into their hair because I can be a bastard that way. I kept stroking and coming until all three of them were splattered with come.
“And let that be a lesson to you!” I said.
“Yes, Captain!” they said in unison. <3 floated above Jen-4’s head.
My intelligent pants zipped up and I turned around to leave. I stopped and turned back to face them.
I turned back around and aimed my Wrist Laser. ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! I blasted all three of their work stations. The nerds crawled away from the burning wreckage as fast as they could.
“That should keep you busy,” I said. Fucking nerds were insatiable.