Mar 192014

I pushed the Cabin Woman hard against the wall. My body pressed against her and I loved the way that she wiggled against me. She cried out as her intelligent shorts opened to reveal her plump ass. My intelligent pants opened so that my thick cock slid in between the canyon of her buttocks.

“I am going to fuck the shit out of your ass,” I whispered.

The Cabin woman whimpered.

I bit down on her shoulder. Her whimpers turned into a moan that started to turn into a scream.

“Captain Blastpants,” a voice said.

I stopped biting the Cabin Woman. She shuddered in relief. I turned away from her and faced the giant door in front of us. Two heavily armed guards stood to either side of the door.

“Yes?” I said.

“Captain Vicethighs will see you now,” one of the guards said. He looked at my Cabin woman’s bare ass. “Just you, though.”

“About time,” I said. We had been waiting for ten minutes and quite frankly, I am not used to sitting still that long.

“Fiona,” I said to the Cabin Woman. “This might take awhile. Give these nice guards a blowjob while I talk with Vicethighs.”

Her face blushed. “Uh, my name is Feira,” she said.

“You say that like I care,” I said. Sheesh, Cabin Woman should be fucked, not heard.

I walked towards the door. My pants zipped themselves up and the door opened before. I was surprised that guards didn’t search me before I entered but that was their lost. I felt better know that my laser sword and plasma blaster were by my side.

The doors closed behind me. Already I heard the sound of one of the guards enjoying my Cabin Woman’s mouth. I normally don’t pass around my Cabin Woman like that but this was different. I was trying to be friendly.

The room I was in was grand and fantastic. Trophies from a hundred battles hung in the air. There was a hologram of the raid on Demma Seven. Over here was a piece of the hull of the Right Fist. Frozen in stasis was a dying man I did not know but I certainly didn’t envy. It was a fitting room for one of the most fearsome pirates who ever travelled in space.

The trophies led to the fearsome pirate herself. Captain Vicethighs was nude as she sat on a throne wrestled from some plundered alien empire. I was taken back by the beauty of her dark brown body. She was older than my great-grandmother but wealthy enough to afford the best rejuvenation techniques. Long braided hair framed a face that was both cruel and playful. Full lips smiled around flashing white teeth. Small breasts bore the scars of a hundred battles. One long leg was draped over the side of the throne and I could see the outline of powerful muscles.

Only her eyes gave away her age. They were dark and intense like a shark that is never satisfied.

“Captain Blastpants himself,” Vicethighs said. “What reason do you have to come to my secret hideout and disturb my long deserved retirement? Have you come to kill me and take my treasure?”

“Of course not, Captain,” I said. “I merely come to seek your advice on a rumor about one of your past adventures.”

“Pity,” Vicethighs said. “I rarely get to use my toys anymore.”

There was a humming sound and I was suddenly surrounded by a dozen metal skulls. They flew down from the ceiling and circled me. The sharp metal teeth caught the light in a frightening manner.

“Are these the Castration Skulls of Oah?” I said. “I thought they were destroyed when you sacked the Jade Monastery?”

Vicethighs smiled. “I never destroy something useful. I find it handy to have something that can castrate a man in less than a second.”

One of the skulls stopped in front of me and snapped its teeth together.

My intelligent tights tightened uncomfortably.

“Ah, good idea,” I said. “Anyway, I came because I heard that you knew the location of the Lost Treasure of the Green King.”

“The Green King?” Vicethighs said. She sat up in her throne. “The treasure that is so vast that an entire robot fleet of ships is said to guard it? If I knew where it was, what makes you think I haven’t already taken it?”

“Because if you did, you would have bragged about it,” I said.

“Fucking right, I would,” Vicethighs said. She stood up and fuck, she was tall. “Yes, I do have the map but I never sought it. There was always easier treasure to be had and when I did have the time to get it, I realized that I didn’t need it.”

“Well then,” I said. “Give me the map and I’ll go snatch it. I’ll give you a share of the treasure.”

Vicethighs walked towards me. The skulls slowed down and came to a halt in a circle around me. As frightening as they were, I only had eyes for Vicethighs. Her hips moved back and forth like a dangerous sand reptile ready to strike.

“I don’t need a share,” Vicethighs said. “What I need is entertainment. I’ll make you a deal.”

I smiled. It looked like the old Blastpants charm was working again. “Shall I entertain you?” I asked.

Vicethighs laughed and chill went down my spine at the cruelty in her voice. “Yes, but not as you think. I shall give you thirty minutes to find the map. When your thirty minutes are up, my Castration Skulls will entertain me with your bleeding cock.”

My intelligent pants zipped itself much tighter. I looked around the room. The trophies seemed to extend in all directions. It would take thirty minutes just to go from one end to the other.

“Any hints?” I asked.

“Oh yes,” Vicethighs said. “The map is on my body. Your time starts now.”

Now it was my turn to smile. If there is one place I am very familiar with, it is a woman’s body.

I started with the obvious. I reached between her legs. She smiled at me as my fingers pressed against her pussy lips and pushed in. The heat inside her sex was incredible. It was also tight as my intelligent pants were at the moment. She must have spent a lot of money to keep this spot feeling young.

Vicethighs moaned happily. “You are barely halfway in,” she said.

A metal skull chomped teeth a little too close to my head.

I pushed deeper inside her. My fingers wiggled and pushed through her tightly squeezing walls. I felt around for data chips, memory pips and anything else that didn’t belonged. All I found was a wet hot place that I enjoyed exploring.

“Not there,” I said as I reluctantly pulled my fingers out. My fingers were soaked and I wanted to put them in my mouth but I had my eyes on a bigger prize. I walked behind Vicethighs and looked at her tight round ass. Fuck, this was going to be even tighter.

Vicethighs politely pulled her ass cheeks apart for me. I pressed my finger against the tight hole of her anus. It resisted my pushing but hey, there was a lot of money at stake. I pushed firmly but gently and watched the tight ring of her ass slowly expand.

My finger slid in. Vicethighs shuddered as I penetrated her. I was right; her ass was ten times tighter than her pussy. My finger could barely move inside her ass. I felt around but damn it, I didn’t find anything there, either.

A metal skull nipped at my pants leg.

“Fuck, I got plenty of time left! Call off your skulls!”

Vicethighs laughed. “What kind of a pirate can’t work under pressure? In my day, we ate, killed and fucked while under constant attack.”

“Yeah and you had to drink rum out of shoes, I get it,” I said. Her breasts were small but I lifted them anyway to see if anything as hidden under them. I checked the soles of her feet and found nothing. I examined each one of her fingernails and toe nails to see if a map was inscribed into them.


A metal skull flew to the side of my face where I could just barely see it in the corner of my eye. That was fucking disturbing.

“Open your mouth,” I said.

Vicethighs was eager to help. She enjoyed my confusion. I looked inside her mouth but saw nothing.

Fuck it, I needed to be sure. I opened my mouth and kissed her. My tongue went into her mouth and felt around. I found her tongue, some perfect teeth and a lot of spit, but there was no map.

I broke the kiss and looked at her. Vicethighs had a new glow to her face. I liked to think it was from the kissing but it was probably from thinking about me losing my nuts.

That was when I saw it. White stars had appeared on her small breasts. A hyperspace notation was on her neck. I took a step back and yes, there were more stars on her flat belly.

“The map is electro-tattooed onto your skin,” I said. “When you said that the map was on your body, you fucking meant it.”

“Perhaps,” Vicethigh said.

“The map is incomplete,” I said. “Which means it activates by will, or maybe from predetermined stimuli.”

Vicethighs said nothing. A skull hovered close enough to my as that I could feel it’s anti-gravity field.

“I am guessing that since you are a pirate pervert like me, the electro-tattoo is keyed into your pleasure centers.”

“You are not as stupid as other pirates of your generation,” Vicethighs said.

“Thanks?” I said. I didn’t know how much time I had so I had to work fast. I stepped up to Vicethighs and I reached down and grabbed her ass. The star on her chest glowed and became more legible. I picked her up by her ass Vicethigh wrapped her legs around me. I carried her to her throne and set her down gently. She scowled at me when I let her go but her scowl turned into a smile as I knelt between her open thighs.

“You really think your tongue will please me?” Vicethighs asked.

“I’m betting my balls that it will,” I said.

I dived into her waiting sex. My tongue licked her smooth pussy lips open and delved in. Vicethighs shuddered as my tongue boarded her. My nose breathed deeply of the musk that emanated from her. She smelled like wealth.

Vicethigh’s thighs closed around my head and I kept licking. Her pussy was wet and warm and responsive to my tongue. My lust for treasure was quickly replaced with a lust for a delicious pussy. I devoured the rare delight before me.

I felt her fingers grab my hair. I glanced up and more stars appeared on her skin. White points of light shined from the darkness of her body. It was working.

I needed to reach deeper so I added a finger. As slick as she was, my finger entered her like a torpedo into a cargo bay. The walls of her sex clamped tightly around my finger and I feared that she would break it, but I kept finger fucking her. Being a pirate is all about the danger.

While my finger fucked her, my mouth kept working. I nibbled the lips of her pussy. I flicked my tongue at the hard bud of her clitoris. I pressed my lips to her nether lips and gave her the most indecent of kisses.

Vicethighs growled. Her thighs tightened around my head and my skull felt like it would burst. Her fingers pulled at my hair worse than I do to my Cabin Women.

I stared up from her pussy. More stars appeared. Galactic markers were forming but none of them were legible. A nebula appeared on her stomach but I wasn’t sure which one it was.

The metal skulls chomped at empty air all around us.

Fuck, I had to break out the big gun.

My intelligent pants reluctantly unzipped and my cock came free. The metal skulls zoomed faster around us like sharks smelling blood. I fought against the power of Vicethigh’ thighs and lifted my head. I felt her desire dripping from my face.

“Do you dare?” Vicethighs asked.

“Watch me,” I said.

I guided my cock to her pussy. She was slick and ready but by the Lords of Space, she was tight! Just pushing the head of my cock into her was a challenge but the threat of castration was the best lube. I pushed into the inescapable gravity well of her legendary pussy.

“Fuck!” I yelled when I was finally inside her.

Vicethighs shuddered and I felt it around my cock. Her long leg wrapped around me and her ankles locked behind my ass. I knew that I wasn’t getting free of her unless she willed it.

“Show me what you have, young Captain,” Vicethighs said.

I pumped into her. The tension in her pussy was incredible. It was like fucking the universe’s slickest virgin. It was like fucking the grip of her fist. It was like fucking a nun’s ass. No wait, nun’s asses were never this tight.

Thrust by thrust, more stars appeared. I recognized the Loeg Nebula on her right nipple. The War Station of Vern appeared on her cheek. A flaring comet emerged from her belly button.

“Yes, yes, yes,” Vicethighs growled. “Fuck this map out of me.”

I fucked her harder. The vice of her thigh crushed my rib but I kept fucking. The tightness of her pussy threatened to make me climax but I kept humping. The chomping of the skulls was damn distracting but I kept pushing into her.

“Lords of Space!” Vicethigh cried and I felt her climax. I cried out as her pussy squeezed my cock to new extremes. I almost came again but I bit my lip and held back.

I kept thrusting. Numbers began to appear. A coordinate formed on the underside of her left breast. Another emerged on her waist. Lines crossed her body denoting interstellar longitude.

But no clue to where the treasure had appeared!

I switched to fucking slowly. I gave her nice long powerful strokes with my cock. I was on the verge of climaxing but I gritted my teeth and held back.

“Lords of Space!” Vicethighs cried again. I felt her climax like an earthquake around my cock.

I switched to fucking fast. I pounded her on her throne fast enough to make her small breast shake. I wanted to come so bad that tears leaked from my eyes but I still held back.

“Lords of Space!” Vicethighs cried. Her climax threatened to kill me as her legs squeezed the life from me.

“Two minutes remaining,” the Skulls announced in their cold, balls eating voice.

What the fuck was I missing? Her body was a galactic map. I knew this section of space but there was till no indicator of where the treasure was. I felt her thighs loosen as I fucked her brains out. Her eyes were closing into an orgasm stupor. There wasn’t any way to give her any more pleasure. What more did the fucking map want?

I had one chance left. I let go. I stopped holding back and I climaxed.

“FUCK!” I yelled. My seed shot from my body inside her tight pussy. The walls of her sex gripped and milked my cock. I was squeezed as I shoot what felt like a cargo ship of come inside her.

An X appeared on the curve of her right breast. I lifted my wrist communicator and snapped a picture. I fucking had it!

I then snapped a few more pictures of Vicethighs because she was fucking hot. How many other pirates had a picture of Captain Vicethighs while they were balls deep in her?

“Ah, you found it,” Vicethighs said. Her legs let go of me and I about fell out of her pussy. My ribs hurt and my cock was drained but fuck, I felt good.

“Don’t sound so fucking disappointed,” I said.

Vicethighs laughed. “When you find the Lost Treasure of the Green King, be sure to come back and tell me about it.”

“I will,” I said.

“Good, have you heard of the Diamond Planet?” Vicethighs said.

“That’s just a myth,” I said.

“No, I have been there,” she says. “When you come back, I’ll let you search for that map as well.”

My exhausted cock managed to throb.

  2 Responses to “Fiction: The Treasure Map of Captain Vicethighs”

  1. “Two minutes remaining,” the Skulls announced in their cold, balls eating voice.

    Yeah, I loved that line. :)

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