Sep 102013

First time visitors to the planet of Euphoria should be aware of a recent musical trend.  If you find yourself dancing at a club and you find yourself inexplicably aroused and attracted to the person in front of you that is the antithesis of your usual sexual tastes, you have not gone insane but you are experiencing the new musical phenomenon known as Dubgrunt.

Dubgrunt was made possible by a new musical instrument called the Sextair.  The Sextair is a stringed pipe instrument that creates notes that also send subliminal messages to the listener’s libido.  The music is quite beautiful by itself but the sudden arousal and altering of sexual preferences based on the notes, temp and rhythm has made the Sextair the most important musical instrument ever created.

This incredible invention was created by the sensation-scientists of Queen Erishella for the Queen’s Band.  In her infinite mercy towards those less sensual than her, Queen Erishella has allowed its use by the masses.  The Queen collects a royalty on every song created with a Sextair so music pirates should beware.  Pirating a song that uses a Sextair is a Treasonous Offense and is enforced by the Queen’s Torturer’s Guild.  Albums of music pirates being tortured by the Queen’s Torturer’s Guild are quite popular as well.

Currently, the artist known as Pylie Sin is top of the music charts.  Her debut song, “Cocks, Cocks, Cocks” was the quickest song to ever reach number one.  Her follow up song, “You Touch Yourself” went double Astatine in two weeks.  She is currently on a one year tour of the Queen’s Pleasure Palaces performing songs from her new album, “Oops, You Climaxed Again”.

–Euphorian Gazetteer

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