Aug 102012

This pink vending machine sits in the back of the sex store.  The guy at the register has no idea what it is for; the owner doesn’t tell him shit.  For that matter, no one has ever seen anyone restock the machine or come by to take the money.

The vending machine doesn’t have any windows or pictures.  It just has a slot for coins and door at the bottom.  You can put in any denomination of coins you want, even pennies.  Once it reaches a dollar, something rattles and you can open the door.

Sometimes the vending machine dispenses an ordinary box of condoms.  Other times it drops a very cheap vibrator.  Most of the time the vending machine gives out unremarkable items.

It is the other times that get people talking.  One woman claims it gave her a prototype Von Madd vibrator that was solar powered and was the best thing she ever experienced.  Your best friend swears he got a DVD collection porn movies he saw as a teenager.  Your sister says she got a pair of fishnet stockings that have never torn.  A friend of your uncle claims he got a cell phone that had the phone numbers of every girl in town.

Some of the items are not so great.  Everyone has heard of that envelope filled with dirty pictures of the minister, his wife and their live-in nanny.  Your high school friend once got a giant poster of their mother posing nude.  Rumor has it that the mayor got a VHS tape that once he found a VCR to play it in; it showed how his wife banging his accountant and that is why he left the city.

You never know what could come out of the pink vending machine.  It could be nothing important.  It could be your greatest wish.  It could be your worse nightmare.

What you do know is that you have a dollar of quarters in your pocket.

  3 Responses to “Play With This: The Vending Machine”

  1. Hell yah. Life is about taking chances. And, even if I saw my mom having sex, I’d still watch it.

  2. t’Sade – Speaking as a guy who found naked pictures of his mom when he was 7, I highly unreccomend it :)

  3. My dad is a painter. I grew up with pictures of my mom naked in oil and watercolors around the house. Related, I also got to see his next two wives naked in the same way. He used to have his third wife in a nude pose in the guest bathroom (e.g., the one me and my brother used when we came over). It was sexy but not pornographic. After that, I found it easier to just see the beauty in everyone. And I learned to appreciate life because of that.

    I learned long ago that my mother probably went down on my father. And when I see pictures of them at their marriage, I can see why.

    Those little things pretty much ruined any disgust I’d have. I’m not going to fuck any of them, but it was actually comforting to know they were like me… insecure about their bodies, probably fumbling in the dark, and just as creative as me.

    Now, the strange part is knowing that my parents, brother, at least one aunt and uncle have read Mummy’s Girl. One of them asked me to write more porn at a family reunion.

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