Jul 112012

Explorer’s Log: It has been four weeks since I have left the Murs.  I am currently headed for the star system designated Queen’s Astonishing Cruelty by Royal Astronomers.  The Mur told me that another intelligent race resides there and I am checking them out for potential conquest.  I should reach my destination in two more weeks.  End Explorer’s Log.

Explorer’s Personal Log: It has been two weeks since the sex toy the Mur gave me has broken down and I am pissed.  For a science oriented society, they can’t make a vibrating machine that lasts longer than fifty orgasms?  I am so annoyed that I recommended a Peaceful Assimilation rather than the Humiliation Conquest they deserve.

Vaquel Di sat naked on the floor of the Deep Space Probe.  The Mur vibrator was in pieces on the floor with her.  Sweat glistened on her dark skin as she tried to reassemble the antigravity engine.  Her pink hair was plastered to her scalp with sweat.  She could turn down the heat in the probe but she was too intent on making this damn alien vibrator work again.


Before Vaquel could react, the ship shook violently underneath her.  She pitched forward and her heavy breasts landed painfully on some rather pointy machine parts.

“What the fucking shit hell?” she swore.  “Ship, report!”

“We have collided with an unknown entity and are experiencing zero forward propulsion.  Unknown entity is four times the size of this vessel.”

“So we’re stuck,” Vaquel said.  She ran to the navigation bay and looked out the view screens.  All she saw was green gas.

“What is the composition of the substance outside?” Vaquel asked.

The monitor came to life with a long scroll of chemical analysis.  Vaquel didn’t recognize half of what she read.

A terrible grinding noise echoed through the ship.


“We’re being squeezed?” Vaquel asked.  She sat down in the cockpit seat. “Activate ship’s laser!”

“Cannot comply,” the computer responded.  “Laser has been damaged by external squeezing.”

“Queen’s tits!” Vaquel swore.  What the hell was going on?  Vaquel had to think so she did what she usually did when confronted with a mystery; she proped her feet up on the navigation console and began to play with herself.

Vaquel stroked the outside of her sex.  Her fingernails brushed gently against the hairs of her pink pubic bush.

“Computer, how many of the substances we scanned are considered organic materials?”

“Forty-two percent,” the computer responded.

Vaquel thought about that.  She also rubbed two fingers alongside the lips of her sex.  Her greedy cunt wanted to be penetrated but Vaquel was teasing herself.  She pinched her sex lips together and flinched at the pain.

The ship shook again.  External pressure alarms flared and then stopped as the pressure resided.

“Computer, what is the ship hull status?  Any acids detected?”

“Negative,” the computer responded.

“Well, we’re not being digested,” Vaquel said. She stopped pinching her sex and slipped the tip of her finger inside.  Her sex clenched in frustration at the lack of penetration.

The ship shuddered as it was squeezed and released.  Vaquel paused in mid clench.

“Fuck me with a comet,” Vaquel said.  “I think some poor space creature is trying to fuck my ship!”

It would explain a few things.  It would explain why the creature had an urge to suddenly stop Vaquel’s ship.  It would also explain the lack of aggressive action except for the occasional clenching squeeze.  As theories went, it wasn’t exactly good science but it did fit with Vaquel’s personal experiences.  When Vaquel was horny, she tended to mount anything penis shaped too.

“Computer, transfer manual controls to me,” Vaquel ordered.

She put her right hand on the control stick.  Her left hand she left on her cunt.  Vaquel could easily multitask.

She tried putting the ship in reverse.  The space organism squeezed tighter.
Vaquel changed from reverse to forward thrust and the squeezing stopped.  She was able to move the ship a few meters before all forward motion stopped.  Vaquel assumed she was hitting bottom.

She went back into reverse for a second followed by three seconds of thrust.  The organism squeezed tighter this time but Vaquel was able to double the amount of space she could travel.  This was progress.

It was also fucking sexy.  Vaquel slipped two fingers deeper into her cunt.  The damn space thing was getting more action than Vaquel was.

Vaquel drove the ship back and forth.  The space organism squeezed and relaxed.  The green outside turned to multiple explosions of blue and yellow.
Vaquel thrust her fingers back and forth inside her.  Her cunt clenched tightly around her wet fingers.  The walls of her sex were slippery and sensitive.


“That means it is working,” Vaquel said.  Of course, it was working if Vaquel’s theory about a horny space traveling organism was correct.  She just had to rely on her experience of being horny herself that she could recognize it in an unknown species.

“Let’s add a little kick,” Vaquel said.  “Computer, turn off stabilizers.  Let’s get a little bumpy, for her pleasure.”

The loss of stabilizers was felt immediately.  The ship shook violently.  Vaquel strapped a belt across her chest to keep her in her seat.  The control stick was vibrating so hard that her hand was getting numb.  The seat shook so much that her tits bounced back and forth across the strap.

It made masturbating a hell of a lot harder but she didn’t stop.  Vaquel jammed her fingers into her wet cunt and kept them there.

She didn’t have to stoke because the shaking was more than enough stimulation.
“Climax, damn it,” Vaquel swore.

The area outside the navigation pod changed colors.  The explosions of blue and yellow light turned to swirls of red and purple.  Streaks of violet raced across the space organism.

“Glory to the Queen!” Vaquel climaxed.  Her cunt clenched deathly tight around her fingers.


“Just a little more,” Vaquel said.  The red swirls morphed into white light.  Maybe she should stop what she was doing but Vaquel didn’t think so.  Her hunch was that if she stopped now, the space organism might get even more frustrated and then become really dangerous.  Vaquel knew that she would.

“SQUEEEEEEE!” All the speakers on the ship blasted an incomprehensible wail.  Vaquel winced under the sonic assault.

Suddenly there was the sight of stars and space once more.  Something green and glowing drifted away from Vaquel’s ship.  They were free!

“Activate stabilizers and enforce hull force fields!” Vaquel commanded.

The shaking stopped.  The warning lights on the console faded away.  The hull was being held together by force fields and a little luck, but it was holding.

Vaquel took a better look at the space creature.  It was immense with an open orifice that looked like it was designed to accept Vaquel’s ship.  Tremors of color raced across the skin of the creature.

“Great, I met a new race and it is a Space Cunt,” Vaquel said.

The Space Cunt floated lazily in post orgasmic bliss.

  6 Responses to “Fiction: Mistaken Anatomy”

  1. Your mind must be a wonderful and scary place. I can not imagine how you come up with all of these fantastic ideas, but I do know that I enjoy them immensely.

  2. anonymous – I have to admit, three hundred episodes of Star Trek helps.

  3. Space Cunt. Bloody awesome! Love it :)

    xx Dee

  4. @ Anon
    I’ve been wondering the same thing for over 5 years and love every twisted, amazing and sexy part of Shon’s mind <3

    As for the inspiration for this… yeah will just leave it be, cute story though.

    PS: Are there sex toys that Euphorians cannot break from overuse anyways? :p

  5. Mystique – I imagine to the Euphorians, they consider a durable sex toy to be something like cold fusion or perpetual motion. They still get cranky when their toys break though.

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