May 072012

About this project: Bob Johnson got divorced this year and the fucking idiot is still missing his bitch ex-wife.  The woman had his balls in a jar and didn’t fuck him for three years and he still misses the she-devil.  We, his concerned friends, need to show the dumb fuck that there are other women out there.  Hell, there are women out there who will let him touch their boob without complaining about how the patriarchy is ruining the lives of women.

The goal of this Fuckstarter is to get Bob some ass.  There is a strip club nearby but Bob is terrified that his mother who lives goddamn three states away will somehow find out about it.  Gary has done some scouting and says that he met a stripper that is willing to do a house call.  The stripper, Kayln, is demanding the money upfront.

Our Goal: One Hundred Dollars.

Pledge One Dollar: A buck would be greatly appreciated and if you are ever in town, we’ll buy you a beer.

Pledge 10 Dollars: Now we’re talking!  Ten dollars gets you a picture of Kaylan in her bikini taken with our digital phone.

Pledge 25 Dollars: That gets you a picture of Kaylan’s tits before Bob slobbers all over them.  Unless you like slobber.

Pledge 50 Dollars: We will use Mike’s laptop camera to record the whole lapdance show.

Pledge 100 Dollars: Fuck dude, we will get you Kaylan’s panties.

Stretch Goal of 150 Dollars: Kaylan said for fifty dollars more, she’ll give Bob a handjob.  Come on, the dude went three years with his wife refusing to touch his dick.  The dude needs some loving.  We’ll give everyone who contributed a DVD of Gary’s amateur porn videos that he recorded with that freaky redhead that he dated last year.

Stretch Goal of 200 Dollars: Kaylan said that for two hundred dollars, she would suck Bob’s dick.  For that, everyone gets the OKCupid name of that freaky redhead.

Stretch Goal of 400 Dollars : Kaylan is willing to actually fuck Bob if we get this amount of money.  We don’t have anything else we can give you but come on, Bob really needs to get some.  Help a brother out.  

  2 Responses to “Fuckstarter: Bob’s Lapdance”

  1. Charities should hire you as a campaigner :p
    This made me smile, many thanks ^^

  2. Mystique – I have been threatening to write this one for awhile :)

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