Nov 212011

Phone rings.

Me: Ahoy?

Lady: Hello Mr. Richards, I am hear to talk you about (Audio gets too quiet to hear)

Me: Say again? You got really quiet.

Lady: I am calling from MoneyBuddy (Not the real company name) and I was calling to (audio gets too quiet to hear)

Me: Yeah, your voice got really quiet again.

Lady: I am calling to let you know that there is a problem with your account because of the blog you have.

Internal Me Dialogue: Aha! The evil anti-porn fascists have finally noticed my little bastion of sexual freedom and are trying to shut me down!

Lady: The blog is called “Erotiterrorist”, did I say that right?

Me: Sure. (Hell, I came up with the name and I don’t feel that I have any right to dispute how it sounds)

Lady: Well sir, you have material relating to (audio gets too quiet to hear)

Me: Say that again.

Lady: (audio gets too quiet to hear) concerning rape.

Me: Did you say rape?

Lady: Yes, you have a review concerning rape.

Internal Me Dialogue: Are you shitting me? I recently reviewed a dirty book where I said that I was put off by a rape scene. Am I being censored for even stating that a rape existed? What kind of Orwellian nightmare is MoneyBuddy running here?

Besides, I am very anti-rape. I wouldn’t have anything promoting rape, except maybe Erishella who to be honest is a bad girl but all of her victims like it so I would think that is a fuzzy line especially when it comes to the campy space opera fiction that I write.

Me: So you are saying that I have a review concerning rape?

Lady (audio gets too quiet to hear)

Me: Again, I really can’t hear you.

Lady: You also have a few articles about rape.

Me: Really? (In a terribly skeptical and disdainful tone. I haven’t had a good sexual freedom argument in ages)

Lady: You have an article called, Rape Dogs of Sharpbaldes Island

Me: ….

Internal Me Dialogue: Oh snap. She got me there.

Lady: Did I pronounce that right?

Me: Yep, so what does Moneybuddy want me to do?

Lady: In order to comply with our Acceptable Use Policy and avoid the limitation
of your account, you will need to remove those items from …

Internal Me Dialogue: Remove a story about freaky nasty dogs that were imported as a punishment and were later turned into a protected species? Hell no, that shit was funny.

Lady: . . . that violate MoneyBuddy’s Acceptable Use Policy. Example/s: rape themed blogs and reviews as well as remove MoneyBuddy as a payment option, as well as all references to MoneyBuddy, including the MoneyBuddy logo and/or shopping cart, from

Me: (click, click) Okay, I just did it.

Lady: Oh. Well, we’ll do a review and everything will be restored.

Me: And the money in my MoneyBuddy account is still there?

Lady: Yes, you can still access it. You just can’t close the account until we unfreeze it.

Me: All righty. (Hang up)

So yeah, no more MoneyBuddy donation button but hey, I got to hear someone else say the words, “Rape Dogs of Sharpblades Island” in a very serious tone of voice, so that is a win.

  7 Responses to “Death of the MoneyBuddy Donate Button”

  1. Irony of the ToS: There are several organizations and individuals with “Moneybuddy” accounts who are acknowledged to either have committed rape or else to have colluded to cover up rape. There accounts are safe. One simply must not discus rape because that would be distasteful.

    I could so totally rant about this but it’s your blog. I’ll do my screaming on my own blog.

  2. For fuck’s sake – really? PO box may cost more but then we can send you cash…or checks…or money orders ;)

  3. JM Black – In my continuing obsession with the world of bureaucracy, I was fascinated by the woman who had to explain that Rapedogs were a violation.

    Musns- Thanks! Luckily no money is currently needed unless you want to buy a book :)

  4. Awesome, I love the inner dialog bits. Well, I hope you find alternatives to Mondaybuddy that can encourage others to send you money in that buddy type of way.

    And thanks for reminding me of the rape dogs.

    (I suspect, the Moneybuddy button would explode into flames on my site… *sigh*)

  5. t’Sade- It is totally worth having the MoneyBuddy button just to hear someone say your offending titles in an awkward tone.

  6. If your inner dialogues are always that amusing, you sure lead an interesting life with your mind :D

    And I wouldn’t think that fiction, especially concerning dogs on each other (not even humans)would raise flags, but perhaps its just a bot scan of certain keywords which they kinda freak out about (i wonder).

    Ah well, glad the phonecall was somewhat amusing to you.

  7. Mystique- The best thing about my last job is that my boss was such a stubborn moron that over reacted when he heard a word that he didn’t like, that I now have a much better understanding of the idiocy of large corporations. I am sure it all comes down to keyword searches.

    My inner monologue is always pretty hyper. It is a big help when writing stories I imagine.

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