Sep 262011

Sheba’s now serves breakfast! That’s right, the fast food restaurant that always gives you everything you want is now making your mornings worth getting up for.

Each breakfast item is handmade every morning by a team of Sheba Employees who all happen to be mothers. Sheba’s firmly believes that no one knows how to make a biscuit like a mother. It is all part of Sheba’s “Mother’s I’d Like to Eat” (MILE) food mission.


Sheba Biscuit –a delicious flaky biscuit with a wonderful scrambled egg cooked with three kinds of cheese.

Sheba Face Smother – Two delicious flaky biscuits each containing a wonderfully scrambled egg cooked with three kinds of cheese. Your doctor won’t approve but seriously, wouldn’t you rather die happy?

Sheba Bacon – Other places will stick bacon on a sandwich or add it to a meal but at Sheba’s, we give you what you want with no hassle. Enjoy five delicious pieces of salty magnificent bacon. All of the bacon is fried by a Sheba employee who was topless at the time. Sheba can not guarantee that you will be able to actually taste the nudity of the Sheba employee but maybe you can.

Morning Kisses – Sweet French toast nuggets that are a gentle way to wake up your mouth. Comes with dipping syrup of your choice, Scandalous Affair Strawberry, First Morning Bliss, Ready Again Blueberry and Morning Wood Maple.


Sheba Juice – This special blend of five fruits squeezed between the massive breasts of a Sheba employee will quench your thirst and run down your chin.

Sheba Juice has been scientifically proven to improve the flavor of your sexual discharges. (Ref. Von Madd Blind Taste Tests of 2011)

Sheba Coffee – Our special blend of Sheba coffee that is the exact shade of black as Sheba’s breasts. This will wake you up and give you enough energy to go back home and have sex before going to work.

Soda– Sheba’s still does not carry soda. For real. That ^$#% is not good for you. We do this because we care about you.

Quick Special

Sheba Biscuit And a Slap – Sometimes you don’t have time for a full breakfast or a meaningful human interaction. That’s why Sheba’s has two drive-thru lines. One line is for all our regular customers and the second line of the Biscuit And a Slap Special. Slide your debit card and go pick up your food, cause you don’t have time to mess with cash.

It comes with a delicious Sheba Biscuit stuffed with cheese and scrambled eggs. You are also allowed to slap the ass of the gorgeous Sheba’s employee who wears a thong for maximum hand-on-bottom contact.

Warning* – Slapping the Sheba employee’s ass twice will result in a 100$ charge on your debit card.

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