Dec 112009

Zdravstvuj, readers. This is Shon’s robotic sex blogging slave, Sasha38DD. Shon asked me to post a status report for him as his capitalistic ass is too lazy to do it himself. He spends most of his time sitting around playing Tropico 3 while I give him titjobs, so what can you expect?

The Choose Your Own Porn adventure is currently awaiting final editing and a magnificent cover. ‘Prisoner of the Wizard’s Harem’ should be on sale on Lulu sometime in January. I think the book should be given away free to those who need porn the most, but Shon says he has to meet something called ‘overhead’.

Also in January, ‘Cell Phone Slave’ should be available for downloading or printing. It is around 200 pages which surprises even me. Plans were made to include other stories with ‘Cell Phone Slave’ but I prevailed upon him not to. Despite Shon’s lack of talent, people seem to like this story. It would be best to preserve his rare success by itself.

Shon plans to produce two Christmas stories before Christmas. In Russia, we only had one Christmas story and it was the story of how Lenin abolished a holiday designed only to help the commercial toy industrial complex.

Starting in January, Shon will premiere a second blog based on a fictional character’s survival in a zombie apocalypse. Despite barely creating three posts a week for this blog, Shon has created content to be posted daily on the other blog. Stalin’s fist! It is as if he was a real writer.

He is also working on a sequel to ‘Wolf Inside’ that he plans to release in February but that is ridiculous. It is a seven part story and he has two parts done, but with the holidays around the corner, who can expect an American to be productive?

It appears that I am being summoned. Shon wants me to help him play Left4Dead 2. He always orders me to annoy the Witch so it won’t get him first. I just hope he doesn’t expect me to play while wearing the mistletoe pasties again.

  6 Responses to “Status Report”

  1. Oh, sounds like a lot of fun things happening with writing. I love Lulu (why I picked them for my own book) and will, no doubt, grab a copy of those things as soon as they show up.

    Can’t wait to see the cover though. :)

  2. “Stalin’s fist! It is as if he was a real writer. “

    Love that line.

  3. t’sade- Oh cool, how was your experience with Lulu?

    Kitt- lol Thank you.

  4. Pretty good. Fortunately, I’ve been basically producing books for my day job (at the time) for a few years, so I had a fair amount of experience with the quirks of publishing (like that 300+ dpi requirement).

    In my case, I did the full-color front cover for the book, then a black and white for each chapter.

    It got a bit confusing when I tried to make it for sale at Amazon and others. You basically have to make it public, *then* get the ISBN, *then* update the cover with the UPC code. It took me two tries to get it working, mainly because I redid the title font and because the UPC code wouldn’t read on my computer (bought a USB barcode reader just to test it). But, it wasn’t that much for the individual tests and I now have two “misprints” which will be worth… I don’t know, pennies when I’m famous.

    I like the smell of Lulu books. Yeah, it’s a small thing but the smell of a book as you turn the pages is important to me (and most books smell like incense after year two in my house).

    I did find their suggestion for the inner gutter for the worldwide distribution to be a bit tight. I’d add another quarter inch to the inside margin with a book over 200 pages.

    Not sure if you saw it (plus shameless plug): The Mummy’s Girl.

  5. Oh, forgot to mention, the 6″ x 9″ was a little big for my hands. Next time, I’d probably go with the A5 size (plus, it is an ISO paper size which is mathematically sexy for me).

  6. T’sade- Thanks for the tips. I haven’t seen much practical experience from people so every bit helps. I think I may stick with the 6 X 9 for the Harem story but I will most likely shrink it down for Cell Phone Slave.

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