Jul 232009

One of the things I am good at is seeing patterns. I am so good in fact, that often I see patterns that are not really there. Lucky for me, I am aware of the fact that what I think is a pattern might just be my own over analysis.

This comes up a lot when I write. For some reason, I hate to do anything repetitious. I think it stems from how I feel about my own favorite writers. Richard Laymon was a genuis of horror but man, I can pick his psycho female character out a mile away now. The same goes for Roger Zelzany who is like a father to me creatively, but his hero characters tend to be cut from the same mold. It feels like they are remixing their stories and that nags at me as I write.

If I write a story that centers around an oral scene, then I feel this great aversion to doing another oral scene in my next story. I edit out anything that reminds me of my last story and on some days, I edit out anything that reminds me of any story that I have written. It’s insane.

Over the years I have given myself permission to repeat some themes. Curvy women are one, because quite frankly I love you curvy ladies and there can never be enough erotica about you. Woman with glasses fall in that category and women of color will always be my first choice in erotica. I permit myself these things but still they nag at me sometimes. Queen Erishella came so close to having glasses but I resisted because it reminded me of Otto Von Madd.

Which brings me to Queen Erishella. A few weeks ago I was brimming with creative energy but I had no focus. I was writing a Librarian long story that pretty much crashed and burned on me. I wrote half of it but I realized every damn chapter fell into the same pace. Worse, I was a little bored with it. Claire suffered one indignity after another and even my dom heart couldn’t kick her around anymore.

So I broke out my XXXenophiles collectible card collection and did a random three card draw. I drew a Martian Queen, green skinned and four arms, Mistress Holly, a school teacher type, and Queen Pompador, who was an elegant 18th century lady with a man up her skirt. The fact that I drew three cards dealing with femininity and royalty was sheer coincidence but my brain took inspiration. I thought about the Flash Gordon comics strips by Alex Toth that I had bought and how whimsical they were. I realized I wanted to have fun.

Better yet, I hadn’t written a dominant female character since my old Scarlett Drake days. The image at the top of the post is a commission of her. George Sportelli did this piece for me, and it’s a 3.5 inch by 2.5 inch card. That image is pretty much life size. I haven’t written a Scarlett Drake story in ages but I still love the gal. For about six months I wrote a fictional blog told from Drake’s point of view and it was goofy fun. I have another picture of her hanging on my wall right beside me. I doubt I will ever write her again but every time I see her, it makes me smile.

I smile a lot not. Writing Erishella is fun. The only issue is that I am really just enjoying writing about Erishella and nothing else. World building is fun and without my tabletop roleplaying games to play anymore, I haven’t built a society in ages. Von Madd has always been about science fiction and an erotic workplace, but Erishella is about an entire culture. I can kill characters which is a weird delight as an erotica writer.

I wrote an Erishella story the other day and I have another one on the tip of my fingers but my old resistance to patterns is nagging me. My brain says I should write an Otto story for balance, or maybe a Volptumancer story but heck, I can’t do it. I want to write about Erishella’s armoror, and a small bit about the oath of service, and maybe a story about the traitors who plot against her.

What is really crazy about the whole thing is that there is no external pressure to do anything except what I want to do. I don’t have ratings. I don’t have deadlines and advertisers. I am free to do any crazy thing I want. I just need to accept it and let my muse run free without me trying to micromanage it.

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