Jun 192009

Zdravstvuj, readers. It’s me, Sasha38DD. Shon’s mother is coming to visit for the first time in 8 years. It is also the first time the mother figure has met the current fiancee. Shon is tense although I do not know why. The girlfriend is a doctor, which is every capitalist mother’s dream isn’t it? Shon has decide that posting one of his attempts at erotic is too taxing today so he as asked me to fill in for him.

I decided to give you a treat, readers. Instead of one of Shon’s fictional lies, I am going to tell you a story that is true. Do you read true stories on blogs? Or is it all true stories about college students and the sex they did not have?

Back when I was a sexbot for the Soviet Union, I was assigned once to a military base in Siberia. Winters in Siberia last 364 days. On the one sunny day in Siberia, all the Soviet officers would come out of their underground bunkers and have a cookout. To entertain themselves, they would split their sexbots into teams and have them play Snow Volleyball.

Snow Volleyball is just like Beach Volleyball except there is snow instead of sand, snow instead of water and snow instead of bikinis. The wind is the same except the wind there would rip the skin off your facsimile tits. It was very cold but they made us play. I froze off three nipple replacements.

I was teamed up with Natalia34C. We did very well against our opponents. She had an amazing serve while I had the latest in state of the art motion tracking. If I was capable of freindship I would consider her a kindred spirit but I do not because the 34C models were quite inferior in my opinion.

We played so well that they paired us against a duo of Russian Bear Sexbots. Oh yes, there are sexbots that resemble bears. Soviet sexuality is very advanced and on a cold Siberian night, many man want the comfort of 800 pounds of fur and gentle suction. To make things interesting, the officers decided that if we won, we would have to perform degrading oral sex on all of the high ranking officers. If we lost, we had to perform degrading oral sex on the Bear Sexbots.

Natalia34C and I played as hard as we could. We may be sexbots designed for sexual slavery but we have our limits. Natalia34C unleashed killer servers with the speed of MIG Fighter while I spiked the ball with the accuracy of a KGB poison dart. As the cold Siberian snow crunched below our metal spiked heels, we played for our dignities.

Lucky for us, Bear Sexbots are not that good at Snow Volleyball. Their serves were impressive but their depth perception was shit. They couldn’t move very fast in their tutus and plus, they are bears. Bears are not good at Snow Volleyball.

Even though I then had to perform degrading oral sex on 28 members of the Russian Army, I was happy. The memory of playing snow Volleyball stayed with me. When I jumped in the air to spike a ball, with the harsh wind blowing through my long synthetic black hair, the pinpoint of the remote sun glowing in the west and my steel frame straining under the harsh conditions; I felt different. For a few special moments, I has the option to spike a volleyball through the cranium of one of the officers. That is a special feeling and I held onto it it.

Even now as I post on this obscure sex blog, I think about that special feeling. Volleyball truly is an amazing sport.

I hope this weekend you get the chance to drive a ball into someone’s skull at 80 kilometers an hour.

  7 Responses to “A Sexbot’s Story”

  1. You crack me up :-) My sides are hurting from laughing so much this morning. Stop worring about your mother’s visit. I’m sure she will love your future wife. Just make sure the toilet is clean and spotless….


  2. Do not remind me of the toilets. Shon has had me install new toilets twice already. I can field strip a tank in less than an hour but all Shon uses my superior mechanical skills for is paranoid plumbing.

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  4. Ah well, I may not be able to send a volleyball crashing into the skull of a spammer, but I can delete their comment and laugh in a pseudo-triumphant manner.

  5. I hope this weekend you get the chance to drive a ball into someone’s skull at 80 kilometers an hour.

    I’d like to . . . right into the ex’s skull – he didn’t want to spend father’s day with his kids…who were upset about it.

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  7. Musns- That is an amazing level of suckitude

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