Oct 012008

Wu Han, Master of Spanking, passed away one night after spanking his Sixty-six concubines. An autopsy revealed that he suffered a fatal heart attack while spanking his fifty-third concubine but Wei Hao kept spanking. Only when he had finished spanking his favorite concubine, the delicate Mei Rou, did he allow his body to die. Such is the willpower of the Master of Spanking.

The hour of his death was marked in the great scrolls and the monks went out into the world to search for his rebirth. For the Master of Spanking so loved the asses of the world that he choose not to go to Nirvana, but to stay here on the mortal plane where the bottoms are warm and soft.

Villages were searched. Great cities were examined. Astrologists were consulted. Finally, six months after the death of the Wei Hao, the monks heard of a baby who laughed when he was spanked. The villagers said the baby laughed in a mocking tone as if utterly unimpressed with the punishment he was given. The baby’s name was Shi Da.

The monks traveled to the small village and tested the baby. First, they laid out sixty six paddles that belonged to the Master. Shi Da with bright eyes crawled to a worn purple paddle with an ivory grip. The monks smiled for this was the Master’s favorite paddle.

Next, the monks placed the baby on a spanking bench with uneven legs. The baby wobbled for a moment on the narrow beam but he kept his balance. Back and forth the baby crawled and never did he fall off. The monks were pleased.

Finally, the Master’s sixty-six concubines were brought to the village. They kneeled on the ground and placed their heads on the ground. They lifted their bare asses towards the baby. Shi Da was let go and he crawled around, giggling. When he reached the supple ass of Mei Rou, did he stop. The baby stood on it’s two shaking legs and slapped Mei Rou’s ass. One, two three time with his tiny hands.

The monks rejoiced. They gave the parents a wagon full of gold and took the baby back to their monastery. There they trained him in the Hundred Palm Slap, the Seven Cryptic Canes and the Eighty-Two ways to compliment an ass. Shi Da was taught all of the mysteries of the art of spanking and as well as the terrible secret reason the art was so important to the safety of the world.

It would be twenty-five years before the monks realized they had the wrong baby.

To be continued,

  6 Responses to “Fiction: The Master of Spanking”

  1. Almost exactly what I was hoping for when I read your twitter dream:)

    Thanks! I look forward to more.

  2. Thanks, I had that last line in my head and I knew I had to post this first chapter before I had even plotted out the rest lol.

  3. the last line is pure genius. the whole thing is wonderful (especially how the Master kept spanking after his heart had failed), but that last line… magic.

    i’m enthusiastic about this new project.

  4. …just wow, the wrong baby….

    All that searching and then to find out 25 years later.

    I’m intrigued but it’s no Dr. Von Madd :P

  5. Miss Blue- Me too, I am hoping to finish it this weekend.

    Me- I do have to wonder what the accountability is for picking the wrong baby.

  6. It’s forgiveable I think – because he sure sounds like the right baby!

    xx Dee

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