May 132008

The Official Erotiterrorist Muse, Pam Grier, is washing her gorgeous body. That must mean I am writing my ass off. I am on chapter 6 of my long story and man, it feels like I have written a dozen chapters. I think I will write faster now because I have the character’s voices down now, but I have a few scenes coming up that has me a bit nervous.

I don’t want to give away the story but let’s just say it centers around a sport. Writing sports action is surprisingly harder than I thought it would be. I’ve written sex. I’ve written fight scenes. I’ve written sex fight scenes, but sports is another beast. I find myself visualizing a sequence of actions but I don’t have the vocabulary of sports terms to illustrate the scene. I look the terms up and now I know the right terms, but will my readers? I’s a tricky balancing act.

There is also less sex than my usual stories but comedies are like that. This reminds me of a new bit of wisdom I want to trademark now.

Dying is easy
Comedy is hard
Sex comedy is fucking dog rape

A lot of sex is inherently funny. We make funny noises. There is always tension. Parts get squished and other parts go where they shouldn’t. Writing sex comedy is insane because you are building tension in the readers, and normally the comedy OR the sex releases the tension. In a sex comedy, you’re somehow letting both do the job without undercutting one another.

Make it too sexy, and the comedy becomes cute or adorable. Bleh.

Make it too funny and the sex is as arousing as Viagra spam.

As a final note; some free advice to writers. The reason you get your best ideas in the shower is that washing your body requires both hands which stimulates both sides of your brain. You’ve washed yourself so many times that your brain in on autopilot and you have all this excess brain power to use. I sometimes will take a shower in the middle of the day when stumped writing and it often helps.

If Pam Grier is in your shower, do not expect your brain to function as well. I’m just saying.

  2 Responses to “Washing and Writing”

  1. Grissom, in the last CSI. Well, the first two lines, anyway. Before that maybe? I don’t know.

    Yeah, I’ve done a few comedy stories that I was fairly happy with, but I’ve found I can’t really set out to write it. It has to come to me. “Hey, that’d be funny…”

  2. Once in awhile I can read my old comedies without wincing but man it is rare.

    I blame the HBO series ‘Rome’ for adding ‘dog rape’ to my vocabulary.

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