May 192008

Softcore model and perpetual crush object, Erica Campbell, has decided to retire. To the amusement of porn lovers, she has declared that she is leaving porn to serve Christ.

Man, J.C. gets all the babes.

Erica has always had a special place in my heart. I came across her pictures years ago on Usenet. She was so damn beautiful. I’ve never been able to figure out what quality that she has that entrances me, but I suspect its just simple beauty. I can think of models sexier, models more innocent and models more amazing but Erica was just damn pretty.

As a porn writer, people like Erica are constant inspirations. When you write so much porn, and read so much porn, your sense of perspective fades. You start thinking orgies are a logical conclusion to a story, you think all women might enjoy a spanking in the right circumstance and you don’t even blink when you read a story about institutionalized bondage. You get so caught up in trying to explore and expand your own horizons, that you lose track of the base impulses that drove the basic parts of your libido in the first place.

I have to admit that Erica’s declaration of love for Christ made me giggle a little. Declarations of faith are indistinguishable from parody. On the other hand, she could have just left modeling and never given an explanation at all. She announced her faith because she wanted to share it with her fans, and no matter what you might think of someone’s beliefs, that’s a pretty nice thing to do.

I want to focus on one thing she said on her site.

I understood the loneliness of the people that I would talk to…because I myself was so lonely. The more I shot…the deeper my darkness got…..the more I understood the pain of others. My friends and my fan. There is ONE common thread to so many of us online here…..the need to be loved, accepted, cared for, the need to have SOMEONE understand you and connect with you. At the end of so many of these emails was that loneliness. SO many men have asked me what they were doing wrong, how to find a special girl like me for THEM. How to fill that “void” in their hearts…in their souls. For a long time I thought I was helping to fill that void in the lives of so many, and in a way I was. But it was all a lie. I could never fill that void for anyone…only be a sinful band aid for it. Only cause the loneliness to deepen….only cause my own soul to ache more.

That paragraph could have came from any of a dozen bloggers and sex writers I have been friends with over the years. People are so tied up in the unhappiness of their sex lives. People look to porn writers, bloggers and writers for answers and you know, we just don’t have any answers. We have compassion, we have sympathy and beleive me, we are hoping for you to find happiness. I will never have the success Erica had, but even my own small success has flooded me with heartbreaking letters.

For Erica, she thinks the cure is God. I hope it works for her. For me, I think happiness comes from personally working on it. I write to entertain and to create an ideal erotic happiness that people will strive for. So far that has worked for me.

I’m going to miss Erica. I am a little saddened that there won’t be any new pictures of her. Selfishly, I want her to keep modeling. Personally though, I am happy she has answers for the problems she faces.

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