Mar 282008

She lays flat on her belly. Her arms tucked under her head with her legs together. The curve of her ass is just begging for my hand.

I start slow. Light light light taps. I’m bouncing my hand off her ass. I remember being a kid and learning how to dribble a basketball. It’s that same touch. It’s not about power or force as much as it is letting the motion work itself.

My hand moves left to right. I bounce off one cheek and then the other. The speed picks up. My palm tingles and I slow down. Light and easy.

She moans. It’s a good moan. It is the moan you do when you slip into a hot bath. It is the moan of chocolate. It is the moan of stretching after sex. This feels good.

I remember when I used to make women do a different kind of moan. I spanked to terrorize. I spanked to spoil only myself. I spanked to hurt, to make them wince and to make them fucking notice I was there. I spanked like a bastard. I spanked like an angry teacher. I spanked to make them scream.

Now a days I only spank her. I spank because it makes her feel good. My precise blows are now a form of impact massage. My hand and all those cruel paddles are now just instruments of relaxation. When it starts to sting, I slow down. When it she starts to squirm, I strike gently.

I used to make fun of people like me. I called them spanking slaves. I rolled my eyes at the bottom who would make requests and I snickered at the tops who listened. Where was the terror? Where was the fear? What was the point if you’re not making them tremble?

But now I get it. I don’t have a wife who criticizes me non stop. I don’t feel like the only time I get respect is when I wield a paddle. I don’t have to justify every decision I make under the context that I am a sex obsessed goofball. I am a sex obsessed goofball but it’s a fucking asset thank you very much. I’m not angry, I’m not tense, I’m not unhappy and swinging a paddle to somehow spank my way back into self respect.

I don’t have to spank a beautiful ass to feel good about myself. I spank a beautiful ass because it makes her shoulders unclench, it makes her sleep better and some days but not always, she rolls over and begs me to fuck her. I spank her because it makes her happy and I am glad to be a part of that.

It doesn’t hurt that it is such a beautiful ass.

  10 Responses to “Spanking Enlightment”

  1. And yet another service top discovers their own. The kinky world is the better for it every time hat happens. Congratuations!


    -Mad (who’s lost her blogger password and can’t seem to get it back)

  2. You know… I like this side of you. :)

  3. I think I had a similar-ish moment, as far as the distinction between spanking for spite and selfishness versus spanking for pleasure.

    Strange, that sentence doesn’t even feel right.

    Anyway, yes, it’s a bit of a change, and it really is a “I get it” moment.


    postscript: Have you received my email?

  4. Congradulations! I can definately relate to that. I’m in a long term monogamous relationship, so all my recent experiences are with the same woman. My enjoyment comes from her enjoyment. Of course, my real power trip comes from teaching her to enjoy things she thought only crazy people liked. ;)

  5. I think there’s something of a balance, and it sounds like your finding it.

    e.g.- There’s times where I want to top my boyo just because I can and do what I want (within reason and safewords). There’s other times that I top him because it’s what he wants and I do what he wants (then again, at times what he wants is for me to top him just because I can).

  6. oh my stars and garters…
    you are just the sexiest man alive.
    i am in hyperdrive MELTDOWN.
    (that’s meant to be a sexy growl, but i’m a little lost on the spelling… plus, i’m so wet i can hardly stay in the chair ;p )


  7. perhaps.. i need a fuck from you too. my pussy is yearning for sex..

  8. i moan even beta.. you’ll love it.. fuck me baby…

  9. Mad-lalalalalala, I so refuse the term service top lol

    Lara- Thanks :)

    six- Shit, I have a draft of a response but never finished it. I will respond today.

    anonymous- Lately all of my power trips have been coming out of the terrible things I do to characters. They whine better.

    Jaenelle- What I find is that now that I don’t have a power imblance in my primary relationship, I don’t seek out a power exchange at all. Well, except for writing but I think thats because sex stories have the best dynamics.

    brightred- The spelling of the sexy growl has eluded every writer :)

    Anonymous2- Nothing like dirty talking anonymous comments to start a dreary Monday. Thanks bunches.

  10. You can plug your ears and sing like a three-year old all you like. Your post is the textbook definition of a service top. Does it help if I don’t mean it as an insult? I think that the kinky universe in general is much indebted to that particular creature.

    -Mad (who finally found her password, yay!)

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