Mar 052008

Are you a horny male between the ages of 13 and 99?

Are you unable to get sex from real women so cybering becomes your only chance of getting off?

Are you a super stud in person but get laughed at by uppity online bitches who insist you use real words, complete sentences and punctuation?

We have the product for you!

Von Madd Laboratories is proud to introduce the AnaisBot! AnaisBot is an online program that monitors all of your typing and offers friendly suggestions to improve your chances of scoring! It is like having your own personal sexy nerd writing all the shit chicks like to read!

For example. Maybe you got the screen name of a hot MILF blogger. You might type something like this:

13InchesKid: hey I red your blog wanna jump on my cock u cuogar

The AnaisBot will detect that you wrote something mind-numbingly stupid and a pop-up will appear. The message will be something like this-

That was a really sexy thing you said! I bet her panties are soaked! I think it might sound a little better if you change it to this though: Hello. I just wanted to let you know that I find your posts very thoughtful and sexy.

AnaisBot is a constantly updating program that is supplied with regular upgrades to it’s vocabulary. It learns all the latest slang and STOPS you from typing it. AnaisBot will make it appear like you have some damn sense.

Not only does AnaisBot help you pick up online women, but it helps you cyber too. Just activate Hands-free Mode and you don’t have to type at all! Trust us, your online one night stand will thank you for it! Could you even type something like this with an erection?

13InchesKid: First I would rain kisses down on your breasts, ever so lightly so that my hot breathe could wash over your skin.

ReallyAGirl21: Holy shit. I need to send you naked cam photos of myself.

But that’s not all! Order now and get the SadeBot upgrade for half price! That’s right, now you too can cyber like a world class online dominant! Get hot bitches to beg YOU for sex for a change. SadeBot has been programmed with over 5000 IRC BDSM conversations. You’ll be mastering and dominating like a yahoo group member in no time.

Only 49 dollars if you order now! Operators are standing by! Just don’t try to hit on the operators, wait till you get the AnaisBot first you stud!

  7 Responses to “AnaisBot”

  1. And Dr Von Madd should consider the next version to be the one that corrects the text/l33t girls so those of us who are uppity online bitches don’t want to smack them or leave the room when we’re looking for intelligent cyber-stimulation.

  2. The AnaisBot can be changed to the the IndigoBot for no additional cost.

  3. “AnaisBot will make it appear like you have some damn sense.”

    Please… can we make this standard on all computers? PLEASE????

  4. I concur with sarengetty – please, make it standard. And 49.99 is damn cheap, you could sell it for at least 99.99 and all those l33t hot young fella’s would pay it to get guaranteed cyberzsp3ak!

  5. You’re gonna make a million! ;)

  6. Forwarded to my IRC channel with a customer base of 90% in there.
    The good doctor should hopefully be recieving some new orders over the next few weeks ;)

    Many thanks for the giggles ^^

  7. LMAO, I am SO sending this link to UrbanGypsy (Tess)…. she’s got plenty of potential customers lined up at any moment! hehe

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