Feb 122008

I filed my divorce papers yesterday and the whole experience was weird. Last time I tried filing it was the Monday after the Super Bowl and the courthouse was deserted. I thought it had more to do with it being a Monday than with it being the day after a sports event. I was wrong. Yesterday it was slammed, with a line to get in that stretched out into the street.

At one point while standing in line, a large brute of a man cut in front of me. The temperature was about 4 degrees and this brute was only wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants. He had a knit hat on his head with the words ‘bad boy’ sewn into it in glittering purple letters. He was also carrying a single apple in a plastic bag. Maybe I’m a coward, but I said nothing as this guy cut in front of me because I couldn’t figure out if he was such a bad ass that he didn’t wear warm clothes and he ate apples and didn’t give a fuck what anyone thought, or if he was mildly retarded.

Once I got into the courthouse, they require you to take off your jacket, empty your pockets, chunk everything into an x-ray scanner, walk through a metal detector and then pick up your stuff. The funny part is the entire metal detecting area is about three feet square and god damn it, those deputies want you to keep moving! After freezing your ass outside, you have to enter into a high speed strip and redress procedure in an area the size of my closet.

let me tell you something, deputies really stare at you when you start giggling.

So I make it past the front door and into the filing area. Lucky for me, there is no line again. Weirdly enough, the only guy working is the same guy who rejected my paperwork last time. This makes me feel good because I have the paperwork ‘he’ wanted, so nothing could go wrong.

I stand there for five minutes while the guy deliberately ignores me. Well of course. Waiting on the one guy who is there would make sense.

Another clerk sits down at his post, gives the other guy a funny look and then asks me what I need. I tell him, give him my paperwork and here is where it gets weird:

Apparently, the person who can sign off on my paperwork is missing, and they do not know where he is, or when he is coming back. The clerk is clearly embarrassed and tells me he’ll go ahead and process my paperwork, but he can’t give me a court date . He promises that when the important guy is found, and he does his job, that they will drop a letter in the mail letting me know when I need to arrive at court.

I expect that kind of wacky office drama at the biscuit shop. I was less excited to see hear this from the people handling my divorce. Sigh.

Who knew that the television sitcom ‘Night Court’ was really a documentary?

  2 Responses to “Filing Papers-Too Strange For Fiction”

  1. Wait, so they don’t have a backup for the person who sets up the court dates? I thought that this was a bureaucracy?

    Oh, I can so see a story coming from the experience of going through the metal detector….

    Also- the bad ass had to be confident enough in himself to wear something that said “bad boy” in *glittering purple* letters. Machine stitched or hand-sewn? It had to have been given to him by a girl because how many guys would willingly buy that.

  2. Funny, I now remember there being a butterfly on the hat. I think I insta-imagined that.

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