Oct 092007

I demand more sex.

I demand naked bodies dancing around the clock. I demand fucking on my television screen. I demand giant breasts on my billboards. I demand sexually suggestive names for food, double entendres for street directions and outright vulgarity for movie titles.

I want a free upgrade for sex on a plane. I want a blowjob every time I get on the bus. I want a strip show on every car of the train. I want joggers to not be allowed out of the house unless they are wearing tight clothes doused in water.

Paychecks should come with money shots. Apologies aren’t sincere until pants are dropped. Sex education should be a public sponsored television channel. Work appropriate clothing should include a g-string or mesh. Every man and woman should know at least seven different types of knots. Your tax forms should come with vibrators.

Prayers should end with an orgasm.

There should be no drugs except cock and pussy.

There should be no war except the war on abstinence.


  12 Responses to “Purple Ramble”

  1. My prayers always end with an orgasm… ;)

  2. Selena- That’s how you know you’re doing it right :P

  3. That is a brilliant rant. Brilliant. I agree all of those demands. Who do we hold hostage to get them met?
    (Especially the “I demand more sex!” – she says in exasperation)

    Your last line is really the best, though. (And I don’t mean the Fuck) Abstinence is the most inane way to promote safe sex or to encourage teens to wait a bit or to employ birth-control.

    Now, where do I go for knot training? :)


  4. Eve- Knot training at my house! Bring rope.

  5. this reads like some wild-eyed beat poem, shouted from the lips of a blood-red cock.

  6. Oatmeal girl- lol, That is an image I will not be forgetting for awhile.

  7. an inadequate repayment.

  8. The only prayers I ever say are when I am about to come …

    xx Dee

  9. I know I am day behind (I was busy… err… praying) but A-fucking-MEN!! I love this rant.

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  11. We may be twins – double the order please.

  12. I too demand the same. How can we go about getting our demands met?

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