Sep 252007

Last Friday I was pulled away at the last moment to a work trip to Orlando. This picture was taken when I entered Florida around 10pm. I just got back last night after four days of lovebugs, humidity and Disney vendors operating out of fast food restaurants. My brain is very wacky right now. I came up with an idea for two more blogs because such insane ideas are what passes for normal thinking in Florida.

This was my first trip to Orlando and I knew there were theme parks there, but I was not prepared for how every single business in Orlando designated themselves as a Disney Parasite. While eating inside McDonalds, an employee tried to hard-sell us Disney tickets because as you know, people who come to Orlando don’t bother to make any plans, they just figure they will pick those tickets up with their egg mcmuffin. Drug stores, gas stations and our hotel were constantly offering us ticket packages. I bet if we asked the streetwalker we saw, she would have offered us Disney tickets to go with her blowjob.

There was also something surreal about being in Orlando and being too busy with work to go to any of the parks. It was a lot like going to a strip club: You’re looking at hot bodies all night long but you can’t do anything with them. I did manage to go play some miniature golf at a pirate theme course around ten at night. I’ll have to see how those pictures turn out.

Erotica, sexy thoughts and more pictures later this week.

  5 Responses to “Kidnap Attempt Unsuccessful”

  1. There are a few things I don’t like, one of them is strip clubs. It doesn’t matter if it is male or female, if I can’t play with it, I lose interest rather quickly. Even a lap dance isn’t really that exciting when you know it can’t ever get beyond a tease.

    Disney World is like that for me also. So many things, but I find the entire thing so sanitized for Main Street, USA that I quickly lose interest. Admittedly, I’ve only gone there once (and even have one of those engraved bricks on the walk). Then, I read about how it really works, with the Reclaimation project, their own “country” that Disney function in, and everything else and I wonder how it got that way.

  2. Obviously, there needs to be an x-rated Disney World Annex, where not only does the streetwalker try to sell you theme park tickets, but she gives you a blowjob in the guise of Minnie Mouse. Or Cinderella. Or Goofy.

    Maybe this already exists…?

  3. that’s cool, haven’t been to orlando yet though

  4. t’sade- Much like any amusement park, I am more interested in how they run things than I am in the actual product. I devour how a strip club runs more than I actually want to go to one. Strip Clubs really fascinate me because at the end of the day, they sell nothing.

    The sanitation bored me too but let me tell you, they really pimp Tinkerbelle. Holy crap, the sexual merchandise they sell for her was bizarre.

    Oatmeal Girl- Man, Jasmine would have my money every day.

    Red velvet- Avoid white clothes, apparently the lovebugs swarm that color. That is something I wish someone had told me.

  5. Yeah, behind the scenes are a lot more fun.

    And Tinkerbell porn… yummy. I have almost a fetish for cartoon women.

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