Von Madd Oath

I swear by Aphrodite, Eros, and Kinsey that I will fulfill according to my genius this oath:

To honor and respect all others who seek erotic knowledge, whether they be scientists, artists, prostitutes or simply pleasure seekers.

I will apply my erotic knowledge for the benefit of sexuality according to my ability and judgment, and not for the forces of unhealthy Puritanical restrictions.

I will never use my knowledge to harm others without their consent.

I will treat all forms of sexuality equally and will not curb my research to prejudice sexual practices that are not my own.

I will never fuck my lower ranked employees for pure sexual gratification; I will do it for sexual gratification and to further research.

If I fulfill this oath and do not violate it, may it be granted to me to have endless sexual experiences and be honored wit fame among all sexual people for all time to come; if I transgress and swear falsely, may my sexual organs fail and cause me to be an object of ridicule for all time.