Apr 122007

Are you a new dominant?

Are you a dominant who sometimes gets that insecure uncertain feeling?

Are you an experienced dominant who sometimes could give a rat’s ass about what to do next?

If any of these apply to you, then you will want to hear about this exciting new product from Von Madd Laboratories!

The Dominant Directional System (DDS) provides you with constant directions for your submissive. Using satellites, a microchip implanted in your submissive’s ass and the latest in Patriot Act spy technology, the DDS is constantly updating itself with new information to help your BDSM scene go smoother. Drawing from such powerful resources like Yahoo Groups, blogs and phone sex lines, the DDS is all the mentoring you will ever need!

Just put on the special DDS mirror sunglasses and insert the ear piece. Now enter in a few facts about your submissive like whether he/she is a brat, is an only child, is a pain slut, or has unresolved mother issues and the DDS will take a full minute to make the right calculations. Once primed, the DDS will begin feeding you instructions that only you can hear.

>”Smack her ten times with the red flogger.”

>”Suck in your stomach and growl menacingly.”

>”Ask her, ‘Who’s your daddy, bitch?'”

>”Put condom on.”

>”Fuck her ass like you mean it.”

Choose from several different voice options such as

>Strict English Lord

>Cruel Military Interrogator

>Bored Housewife

>Know-it-all Dom Who’s Only Real Dom Training Was a Two Hour Management Course at Kinko’s.

>Sexy Blogger With A Goatee

And now with the latest upgrades, the DDS is 78% less likely to commit the following errors that previous models have performed.

>”Smack her ten times with the red Flock of Seagulls.”

>”Stop and ask her if the reason she likes spanking is because her mother never really showed any discipline to her because she was a step-child.”

>”Ejaculate and put the condom on.”

>”Grab him by the throat and force him to play six hours of Worlds of Warcraft.”

At the low low price of $299.99, now is the time to buy! Act now, and you can get a $100 discount if you lend your current submissive to Von Madd Laboratories for the weekend. Get the dominant advice you need today, order now!

  6 Responses to “Dominant Directional System”

  1. lol – hrs of WoW ; definately not a punishment for any who enjoy that pasttime!

    That was great – brought a huge smile to my face this morning.


  2. I love the voice options, especially Sexy Blogger With A Goatee.

    hmmmmmm……I wonder…..



  3. Musns- Every morning deserve a big smile.

    eve in chains- Hmmmm . . .:)

  4. Finally a device that will give men a clue!!

  5. sarengetty- The DDS works for both sexes. The sad thing is, men have a hard time asking it for directions.

  6. oooh – my man has no issue with asking for direction; now where was that 800 number?


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