The Oracle of the Pond

On the sidewalk that curves like some men’s cocks,

Past where the right thinking people live,

Through the part where you have to click Whole Post,

Into the pubic hair like shrubs

Under the silent watch of the Phone Sex Tower

There lies the Oracle of the Pond.

I had several questions for the Oracle. “Oracle, am I a freak for having both a Pirate and a Librarian fetish? I mean, is that weird?”

The Oracle had no answer.

I tried another question: “Oracle, does it make me a bad person that when I met a Dominatrix, the first thought that crosses my mind is how sweet it would be to hear them beg for my cock?”

The Oracle was silent again.

That didn’t discourage me. “Hey Oracle, I see all these doms becoming masters of rope, spanking, photography and so forth, but my skill is writing. Their skills make submissives strip off their clothes and join in. My skill makes women masturbate while I’m not there. Did I pick the wrong hobby?”

The Oracle answered.

“Thanks Oracle! I think you’re right. Writing turns the mundane into the sexy. Their skills require a partner where as I can take something as dull as a walk to the grocery store into something sexy. That’s too important to worry about how much tit and ass I get out of it. You’re so wise.”

I left the Oracle a little smarter and a lot hornier.