Mar 292007

In Memphis they have a combination Burger King/Bank of America under one roof. They surround the building with signs bragging about this merger of gluttony and greed.

I had my camera in my hand and I was too stunned to take a picture. It was just too much. Atlanta had spoiled me with its health conscious attitude. In Atlanta, you have a gym on every block and every restaurant offers some sort of fish or turkey for those trying to eat healthy. In Memphis, they believe places that sell fried chicken should be in sight of one another. They believe cole slaw and fried corn nuggets are the only vegetable you need to offer as a side dish. At the hotel we stayed at, they had a salad bar that was untouched. In the vending machine they offered Vienna sausages for those who had gone too long without some sort of meat.

It was really weird for me. I love watching travel shows and I always get embarrassed when tourists visit some exotic locale and get snobby because things are just a little different. I tried to keep an open mind and not fall into native judgements but man, Memphis pushed a health tolerance I didn’t know I had. I went to a Subway to get a sandwich and they were offering pizza. Think about that. Subway is a place that sells sandwiches and invests in a national advertising campaign to promote their food as healthy, but the Memphis branch was selling cheese soaked pizzas. At that point, I didn’t think I was the snob anymore.

Do NOT get me started on the drivers. There was a guy at the convention who warned us that Memphis drivers see turn blinkers as a sign of weakness. We laughed it off but damn it, the mother fucker was right. Atlanta has one of the highest accident rates for any major city but watching three lanes of Memphis traffic merge into one lane where a car side-swiped a school bus; I am starting to think the reason Atlanta traffic is bad is because of all the Mississippi drivers we have.

Here is my last story about Memphis and I’ll be a good sex blogger again. On the last day we were there, we recieved our hotel bill. It had the usual

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