“You realize that since I have met you, I have signed more non-disclosure agreements than I have my whole life?”
Sara told me this yesterday at a new BDSM munch we were at. For those who don’t know, a munch is where a local community of BDSM interested people meet for food and to get to know people in their area. I have not yet determined what Atlanta law requires that this take place at a spot that serves abominable food, but I am working on it.
Anyway, the wife and I are still shopping through groups and yesterday we tried a group that appeared to cater to a younger crowd. I have to say I was a bit hesitant as I imagined a younger group would somehow be more shallow or cliquish. That’s real fucking judgmental of me at 33 but when your baby fat has turned into well fed husband fat, you tend to think that younger people are snickering at your belly. Or maybe it’s just me. Instead of snickering, they were the nicest most welcoming bunch we’ve met yet. It was a pretty pleasant surprise.
Sara tagged along which is really funny. When we first met, she couldn’t imagine even stepping foot inside a BDSM group. Now she’s planning to hit the dungeon club next Friday with us. In fact, she really got along well with this group yesterday and made friends hand over fist. I envy her speed dating skills.
On the other hand it just goes to show how strange and wonderful the whole BDSM munch experience is. The whole point is to provide a public place for those interested in BDSM to meet and see that the community is just normal folks. When you’ve had a conversation with a gal for thirty minutes about bit torrenting TV shows, finding out later that she is a professional domme is just a small character detail. The domme thing almost becomes insignificant compared to the detail that she spent two weeks downloading her favorite cartoon from the 80’s.
I think that is what always surprises me about these things. It’s just so mundane. I go through a cycle before every munch where I get excited, then I get nervous, then I freak out a little thinking the munch will be filled with people who find me boring and then I get there. Five minutes in, I’m looking at a bunch of people who are just as nervous, antsy and bored as I am, except they have been here longer. The topics are paddles and corsets, but these people are just as awkward as any company picnic or family reunion. I always feel silly afterwards for getting nervous in the first place. They are so freaking happy to see a new person yet at the same time hoping they don’t come across as a freak to you.
So if you’re into BDSM, go visit your local groups. Seriously. If I can do it with my anxiety issues, you can certainly do it. If Sara can do it, I know you can. Go join your local community and thrill them with a new person they can discuss their favorite TV show with. You’ll thank me for it.
4 Responses to “Bit Torrenting Domme’s and Bad French Fries”
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Good post Shon. I have thought about the local “scene”, but am paranoid about our relatively small community compared to a city like Atlanta. I joined the local online group and they have get togethers, but haven’t really considered going. I suppose if I met someone I knew, like you said, it wouldn’t be much more uncomfortable than meeting at a different event. But your comment about “the community is just normal folks”; I may not fit into that group…haha.
hey if they have bad food then count me out man. :)
hhtheh- Small town life makes everything complicated but I would suggest you think about meeting your online group. It’s an amazing experience to meet face to face people who share your interests.
Art- You have NO idea. Sara made the joke once that a little piece of my wife’s soul dies every time we go to one munch’s preferred crappy restaurant.
You know, it never occurred to me that serious BDSM-ers would be so shy, that’s very.. endearing. ^_^
Just goes to show that no matter our kink, we’re all still just people. I like that.