Dec 122006

It’s winter here in Atlanta. Slowly but surely every woman is switching over to their sweaters. Stylish clothes are giving way to neck to waist coverage of skin. Shapely and unshapely curves are averaged out by thick cloth that keeps hypothermia away. Some erotic oriented people might be depressed by such a devolpment.

I take a different view. When I see a woman who wears a sweater, I can’t help but wonder what they are wearing underneath. They could be wearing anything under the protection of a sweater. They could be wearing a lacy bra. They could be wearing a t-shirt that proclaims their allegiance to their favorite sex act. Why, they could be wearing nothing at all except bite marks and handprints from the deviant sex they had this morning.

This idea of sexy surprises is only heightened by the tendency of the season to wear holiday themed sweaters. Decorated with Christmas trees, images if snow and elves, the sweaters look like wrapping paper now. To me, shopping mall crowds look like a hundred women begging me to unwrap them. They’ve gone to the trouble to wrap their chests, isn’t it only polite to take off their sweaters and see what presents they have waiting for me? Maybe it’s purple pirate lingerie?

How will I ever know if I don’t at least peek?

  8 Responses to “Unwrapping”

  1. Shon, you know I love you but the idea of a holiday themed sweater is making me queasy.

    There is a definite allure to wearing more and unwrapping the layers, slowly and sensually, but please let’s not advocate that the outer layers have Santa and have elves, and reindeer and gingerbread men woven into the fabric. At least not on anyone over the age of 7.

  2. Tess- Sad but True- Women in the South are given holiday sweaters when they turn 18. It’s a fact.

    Not a happy fact, but that’s the way it is. I saw teenagers wearing Christmas sweaters this weekend.

  3. It’s not just in the South.

    How come men don’t wear holiday sweaters, huh?

  4. AAG- We wear holiday boxers. Same concept :)

  5. Just because one is given a holiday sweater doesn’t mean one must wear it!

    In my mostly non-Southern experience, the women who wear holiday sweaters don’t look very unwrappable.

  6. Tess, you took the words right out of my mouth!

  7. wordslut- never judge a woman’s sweater till you ummm walk ummm to the Piggly Wiggly in her turtleneck? I’ve got nothing.

    Madame X- You make it sounds like christmas tree sweaters with working lights are a bad thing.

  8. I think Christmas tree sweaters with working lights are actually illegal in parts of NY!

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