May 312019

Today I released a writing prompt game, Traveling the Planes of Desire. It is on and you can pay what you want for the four page pdf. I humbly ask for a minimum of two dollars due to the processing fees.

In this game, you are a mystic exploring a magical realm that is populated with the sexual desires of the human subconscious. You draw a card from a standard 52 playing card deck and then consult a chart. The suit determines the what you encounter, while the value determines the nature. From that inspiration, you write an entry about your encounter. It can be one paragraph or an entire short story. The goal is to spark your imagination and create adventures.

What I enjoy about writing prompt games is that with an audience of one, I tend to write more honestly about my emotions and feelings. Writing about sex always carries anxiety about what impression it will make on the reader, but a game eliminates that pressure.

Also, a game like this could easily be played with a group. They could take turns exploring places or they could collaborate on what weird realms they meet. A game like this could be an interesting ice breaker for your coven or collection of lovers.

This game is a hack of Takuma Okada’s Alone Among the Stars. I mentioned the game on the blog before and as you can tell, it is a big inspiration to me. My hack adds a sexual element as well as changing the list of terrain to different moods.

If you play Traveling the Planes of Desire, please drop me a line telling me a little of the places you discover.

May 132019

I would argue that anything Caitlin Kiernan writes is the very best but I am biased that way. This edition collects some really fabulous stories and I enjoyed every one of them. These stories are not just horror and weird fiction. These stories will fucking haunt you.

It is hard to describe Kiernan’s fiction without referencing other genres and that is a disservice as I feel most of her work transcends the genres they are related to. Take Lovecraft for example. Kiernan writes about strange ancient horrible monsters that live under the ocean and will probably devour us all BUT, when she writes it with her paleontologist background, it feels much more vivid, real and possible than when Lovecraft does it with his purple prose. Keirnan taps into the wonder and mystery of the ocean in ways that remind me of Joseph Conrad. I am repulsed and enchanted at the same time.

It is the same with her weird fiction. The hallmark of Weird Fiction is to not explain shit about what is going on, and Kiernan does that, but she also spends a lot of time with characters trying desperately to explain the unexplainable. Her weird fiction feels like it has undergone a rigorous peer review and they still couldn’t figure that shit out. Again, it just makes her fiction feel far more vivid than others.

I can’t pick a favorite story out of this anthology. Is it the story about Unicorn dildo? The family that live at the edge of some terrible gate? Or is it the reporter trying to make sense of his lover leading a cult into a suicide walk into the ocean? I haven’t even mentioned the one that explores whatever happened to Ann Darrow and her sorrow over Kong. And how about the nightmarish story about what happens when you get caught by a Fairy Queen?

There are too many treasures here to elevate one above the other.

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May 062019
The Emperor of Darkness has a familiar tan.

Orgy of the Dead is a 1965 movie written by legendary shitty director, Ed Wood. The premise is that a couple have a car crash near the wrong graveyard. At least, I think it is a car crash as the budget didn’t allow money for a car or a crash so we just have to rely on sound effects and a spinning camera. The couple wakes up and the woman blames the man for the accident. They stumble towards the graveyard where they hear music.

See, this isn’t your normal graveyard. No, this is a special place where the ‘Emperor’ rises from a coffin, gives a long monologue about the forces of darkness, and is then attended by a Vampira knockoff. Together they sit and watch as damned souls entertain them.

How do the damned entertain the Emperor? With burlesque acts of course! Each act is preceded by a short bio from the Vampira knockoff. For example, “She killed her husband on her wedding night, and now must dance with her husband’s skeleton forever!”

The damned soul then comes in a costumer, dances a little, then the camera cuts away and when it returns, the woman’s clothes are gone except for her panties. She then dances for way too long. The Emperor says whether they please him or not and we move on to the next dancer. Rinse, wash, repeat.

At one point, the couple gets caught by a Wolfman and a Mummy, who bring them to the Emperor. The couple is then tied up and forced to watch more burlesque acts. The drama of the film is whether the Emperor will let the Vampira knockoff kill the woman before the sun rises.

Now, I hope that what I described does not sound interesting because this movie was super dull. The burlesque acts go on way too long and though some of the women clearly have talent, the emphasis of every act is the dancer shaking their boobs as much as possible. The acting is worse than you can imagine. The graveyard is so cheap looking that I have seen better presentations at Party City. The Wolfman and the Mummy are the comic relief, and are remarkably not funny at all.

The only upside to this movie was the Emperor and the Vampira knockoff. The Emperor is played by Criswell, a psychic known for some of the stupidest predictions ever. Criswell flips back and forth between being a master of evil and a slightly bored narrator. He does have a good voice and if he was more well known, he would the source of a dozen memes.

The Vampira knockoff was played by Fawn Silver. Unlike Vampira, Fawn can act and she might be the only one acting in this movie. She doesn’t have Vampira’s extreme features but her more curvier body makes her nice to watch. Her eagerness to strip and stab the living woman brings the only real sexual friction to the movie. It is a shame that she is not more remembered.

Orgy of the Dead ends with the sun rising and the couple waking back up. Was it a dream? Nah, more likely it was a cheap movie made to sell tickets by showing tits.

May 012019

Explorer’s Log: Today is my thirty-second day in my sixty-four day journey to the star system designated “Damn, I wish I Was the Queen’s Lover” by Royal Astronomers. The patrols of large warships continue to be a problem. The probe ship’s stealth capabilities are no match for the patrol sensors. I had three near-encounters this morning and it was only through heroic efforts and my superior piloting skills that I have evaded pursuit and combat.

Late this afternoon, I discovered one of the reasons for the frequent patrols. A vessel took me by surprise near a debris field. The vessel was the same type as the large warships that have been chasing me. After deftly avoiding their ambush, the attackers opened communications in order to demand my surrender. They were surprised by my alien appearance and descriptive insults. The vessel identified themselves as pirates in opposition to the Prober Supreme. I convinced them that I was not a servant of the Prober Supreme or one of his creations. The pirates offered a truce and I generously accepted their ceasefire.

The pirates have invited me to dock with their much larger vessel. They are offering to transport me and the probe ship through the worse of the warship patrols. I am suspicious of their generosity, but since they are rebels with no respect for a central authority, I suspect their offer is a ruse to attempt to seduce me to their cause. I will take advantage of their naivety and get a free ride. End Explorer’s Log.

Explorer’s Personal Log: I’m taking a risk by boarding their ship but the Captain is handsome and it has been a busy few weeks. It will be nice to let someone else fly for a change. These patrols have worn my ass out.

Chairbot will remain behind on the ship. If the pirates betray me, Chairbot has been instructed to turn the probe ship into a bomb and blackmail the pirates for my freedom. Hopefully after the pirates have ravished me, of course.

“Your, your, your quarters are here” Captain Hellic said, pointing at an open doorway. The tall Seed-Walker had to stoop as he stepped inside. The tight fabric of his pants clung to his muscular buttocks in intriguing ways.

Vaquel Di smiled. That was an ass worth risking a ship for. Before she stepped into her quarters, she pressed a button on her belt. The top of her green spacesuit parted a few centimeters to expose her luscious brown cleavage. Running her hand through her short pink hair, she stepped inside.

The quarters were snug with a single bed, a hygiene chamber and a small table. Captain Hellic stood by the bed with an anxious look on his face. He tugged nervously on his bright purple beard.

“I, I, I hope the quarters are suitable,” Captain Hellic said. “The Corrupted Data used to be a ship for holding soldiers, so there is not much consideration for comfort. If you want a larger place, I am sure the crew would be happy to convert one of the armories into living quarters.”

“No, it’s quite nice,” Vaquel said. She bent over to press down on the mattress. It was not a coincidence that her hanging tits were facing Captain Hellic.

“Mmm, soft and squishy,” Vaquel said.

“Oh, uh, uh, uh, good,” Captain Hellic said. “I am glad the breasts, uh, bed is to your liking. We don’t get many guests and it will be nice to have a new mouth, uh, face around. The ship is mostly automated so we don’t need much of a crew. You met all of them at dinner.”

Vaquel sat on the bed and leaned back. She stretched one leg out and then the other. Captain Hellic stared and tugged harder on his beard. The green of her spacesuit was the same shade as the Seed-Walker’s skin. She wondered if her legs looked naked to him.

“Wait, those six people are your entire crew?” Vaquel asked.

“Yes, yes, yes,” Captain Hellic said. He was still staring at her legs.

“Oh,” Vaquel responded. Her dreams of being gangbanged dropped considerably in scale. That was disappointing but it was less likely that these rebels would try to kidnap her. She could go straight to fucking them now.

Vaquel pressed another button on her belt. The spacesuit around her legs slid upwards. The thick magnetic boots covered her feet but her lovely brown calves were revealed followed by her thick thighs. The spacesuit stopped retracting, leaving her pelvis still covered.

“What, what, what are you doing?” Captain Hellic said. He quickly moved past Vaquel and towards the door.

“Wait, stop!” Vaquel said. “I am just undressing. The way you were staring at my legs, I thought you were curious about my species.”

Captain Hellic stared at her brown skin; his eyes devouring every millimeter. He chewed the top of his mustache and pulled harder on his beard. “I apologize for staring,” he said. “It has been so long since I have seen a female of any species.”

“Feel free to take a closer look,” Vaquel said. She pressed another button. The spacesuit around her crotch retracted. The pink bush of her pubic hair was revealed. The hair was already slick with her desire.

“No, no, no,” Captain hellic moaned. He covered his eyes with a massive hand. “Please don’t do that. We took a vow of celibacy.”

A cold chill ran through Vaquel. She quickly pressed the button and the spacesuit slid back over her crotch. Afraid that celibacy might be contagious in some way, Vaquel pressed another button and her legs were covered as well.

“A vow of celibacy?” Vaquel asked. “Were you brainwashed by outside forces?”

Captain Hellic peeked through his fingers and saw that Vaquel was clothed. Lowering his hand, he answered her question, but he stayed by the door in case of sudden nudity.

“We, we, we took the vow of celibacy as a crew,” Captain Hellic said. “The Prober Supreme manipulates the masses with his hedonistic inventions. He keeps them in a state of languid docility while conducting his foul and perverse experiments! Some of my crew have been subjects in his labs. To keep ourselves from succumbing to the weird temptations we encounter, we have vowed to remain celibate until the Prober Supreme is defeated and overthrown!”

“And how long have you been a pirate?” Vaquel asked.

“Eight, eight, eight solar cycles,” Captain Hellic said. “It has not been easy.”

“You poor bastards,” Vaquel said. “Are you sure about your vow? It isn’t healthy to restrain yourself like that. You can indulge your carnal needs with me. I won’t tell your crew.”

Captain Hellic’s fist ripped tufts of his beard from his face. “No, no, no,” he moaned. “That would be a betrayal not only of my vows, but of the trust they put in me as a leader. I must refuse. In fact, I should leave right now so I don’t give in to temptation!”

Before Vaquel could say anything, Captain Hellic ducked through the doorway. A sliding door closed behind him and locked into place. Vaquel was alone.

“Queen’s tit!” Vaquel swore. “No gangbang, no ravishing and not even a fucking goodnight licking!”

Vaquel kicked off her boots and pressed a button on her belt. The entire spacesuit slid away from her body and retracted into her belt. She took her belt off and tossed it aside as well.

“Fuck these celibate pirates!” Vaquel snapped. “What the fuck is the point of being a pirate if you are not going to get laid?

Vaquel laid back on the bed. Damn, it was soft. She spread her legs on the silky sheets and enjoyed the lack of friction. Curious, she tried out the pillow. The soft foam shape conformed to the shape of her head and spine, providing optimal comfort.

“Damn, if military ships get beds this nice, I see why there are no rebellions,” Vaquel said. She was definitely going to include this in her report back to the Royal Navy.

“This bed is wasted on celibates,” Vaquel said. “Luckily, I am not one.”

Vaquel reached between her legs. She pushed through the soft forest of her bush and stroked the outside of her sex lips. Slow lazy circles sensitized her needy pussy.

With her other hand, Vaquel grabbed a breast. She started by pinching the side of her heavy brown tit. The little jolt of pain was answered by a clenching in her sex.

Vaquel’s fingers moved clockwise around her breast, delivering tiny pinches to the soft flesh. Her other fingers pushed inside her pussy lips and sank into wet heat. She pinched harder and harder as she circled her tit.

The lights dimmed, perhaps due to a sensor noticing Vaquel was in bed. With the decrease in illumination, Vaquel’s hips began to roll. She switched from stroking her sex to humping her fingers.

Vaquel moaned. She closed her eyes and pictured the Captain. He was between her legs, holding still as she grinded on his cock. She had convinced him that his vow was still valid if she did all the work. All he had to do was lay on top of her while Vaquel fucked his brains out.

A shudder ran through Vaquel. She would break the Captain’s resolve. Her fingers closed around her nipple, picturing the Captain’s purple beard against her brown breast. He would bite her with a need that has been building for eight years. In accordance with her fantasy, Vaquel cruelly pinched and twisted her sensitive nipple.

“Oh, Captain,” Vaquel moaned.

Vaquel resumed stroking. The imaginary Captain was aroused now. He was going to pummel her wet pussy. He was going to pound her into this extremely comfortable bed. He was going to probe this sex hole to depths never explored before.

“You have a visitor at the door,” a voice said.

Vaquel froze. The voice sounded very natural and it took her a second to realize it was automated.

“Would you like to let them in?” the voice asked.

“Fuck,” Vaquel whispered. Yeah, she wanted them to come in but she also didn’t want to scare their celibate ass off. She sat up and grabbed the folded blanket at the foot of the bed. Laying back down, she pulled it over her body.

“Please respond with ‘yes’ or ‘no’,” the voice said.

“YES!” Vaquel said.

The door opened. A short but lanky Seed-Walker came in. Bright yellow hair fringed his face and head. Vaquel remembered him from the dinner. His name was Mops. He leaned back out the doorway and looked both ways before closing the door.

“Excuse, excuse, excuse me,” the pirate said. “I’m sorry to bother you but my shift just ended and I wanted to take advantage of this moment to talk to you alone.”

“Oh?” Vaquel asked. She sat up, pinning the blanket to her chest. The warm, but thin material outlined her round breasts. “Why did you want to talk to me alone?”

Mops’ dark green skin flushed to a lighter shade of green. “I, I, I wanted to talk about this vow we made, me and the other pirates that is. Because the Prober Supreme creates a culture of sexual indulgence, we decided the best way to fight it was with sexual abstinence.”

“Ugh, I know,” Vaquel said. She could feel her pussy drying by the second. “Your Captain told me about it. He said it was very important to you guys.”

“It, it, it is, but the thing is, it is a lot harder to do in practice than in theory,” Mops said. “I joined the crew two years ago and it has been really difficult. I keep making simple mistakes. I get really angry for no reason. I have an ear ache that won’t go away and I bet it is due to sexual frustration.”

“Okay,” Vaquel said. “Where are you going with this? I was in the middle of relieving my own ear ache.”

“I, I, I was wondering if you might be able to provide me with some relief but keep it secret from the rest of the crew,” Mops said. “I don’t want to disappoint my crew or Captain. I am just not as strong as they are.”

“Relief is a two-way interaction,” Vaquel said. “Satisfy me and I’ll keep your secret, you degenerate celibate.”

Vaquel tossed the blanket from her body. She sat up and turned so her legs hung off the side of the bed. Spreading her legs, she pulled her pussy lips apart in what Vaquel considered to be a subtle invitation.

Mops’ eyes bulged in delight. He shed her overalls in seconds to reveal a short but limber body. A thick root hung between his legs. What it lacked in length it made up for in girth.

“We, we, we might need to go slow,” Mops said. “It has been a long-aaahh!”

Vaquel squeezed his cock in her hand. “No, I don’t do slow,” she said.

Mops groaned incoherently. His cock throbbed in her hand.

Vaquel pulled the pirate between her legs. She guided the tip of his root to her sex lips. The head was a little too big but Vaquel was wet enough to try. She reached behind Mops and grabbed his ass.

Mops overcame his shyness. He pushed into Vaquel. The thick head spread her open and then the rest of his shaft soon followed. One long persistent push and he was inside of her.

“Fuck,” Vaquel said. “Maybe you’re right and we should go slow.”

Mops growled and grabbed her by the thighs. He was face to face with her plentiful tits. Leaning forward, he took a bite of her brown breast. As soon as his teeth clamped down, his hips pumped with a furious speed.

“Queen’s tit!” Vaquel cried out. Her pussy took the cock bombardment. Thankfully, the shortness of the cock prevented her deeper areas from being battered but what was being penetrated took a beating. While her pussy was being fucked, her breast was getting crushed by Mops’ eager bite. The pain was far greater than the pinching she experienced earlier but it also made her clench three times as hard.

“Mmmm, mmmm, mmmm!” Mops said with a mouth full of tit. His hips smashed into Vaquel’s thighs and made a clapping noise. Drool leaked from his lips and dribbled down her breast.

Vaquel shuddered with pleasure. This was more like it! Brutal and sweet! She was going to be sore in the morning but this was the fuck she had been craving!

Mops opened his mouth to moan and Vaquel’s breast fell from his lips. There was an angry ring of bruises on her tit from where his teeth had clamped. Mops ducked down and bit her other breast; subjecting it to the same intense pressure.

“Shit, shit, shit, yes, yes, yes!” Vaquel cried. The pain pushed her over the edge. She wrapped her legs tight around the Seed-Walker as he brought her to a screaming orgasm.

Mops groaned into Vaquel’s breast. His body began to shake as he kept humping. The thick cock trembled within her and then suddenly released a thick load of hot seed.

“Damn, already?” Vaquel asked.

“You have a visitor at the door,” the door said.

Mops froze and then quickly pulled out of Vaquel. Yellow seed spilled from his cock. He spat her breast out and babbled “Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me.”

“Get back and fuck me,” Vaquel said.

“Would you like to let them in?” the door asked.

“Fertilizer, fertilizer, fertilizer!” Mops swore. “Don’t tell them I was here! There is a maintenance hatch in the hygiene chamber! I’ll try to come back later!”

“Fine,” Vaquel sighed. She was still in the throes of her orgasm but hungry for more.

“Please respond with ‘yes’ or ‘no’,” the door said.

Vaquel waited until Mops ran into the hygiene chamber and closed the door. “Yes,” she said. As the door opened, Vaquel remembered just in time to throw the blanket back over herself and lay down.

Another pirate walked in. She remembered this one. He was a mass of muscle and a deep brown color. Three sprouts of white hair were arranged equidistantly on his nearly bald skull. Vaquel had fantasized about how he would be the one to hold her down while the others used her. His name was Jekin.

“Excuse, excuse, excuse me for intruding,” Jekin said. He closed the door behind him. “I have come here to come here to make a trade offer.”

“Do pirates usually make trade offers at the start of someone’s sleep cycle?” Vaquel asked.

Jekin reached into a pocket on his overalls. He pulled out something that sparkles. It looked like diamonds.

“I, I, I had to wait until everyone thought you were sleeping,” Jekin said. His voice dropped to a low whisper. “See, I have something indecent to ask you.”

Vaquel smiled. She sat up and her blanket fell from her chest. “Indecent? Please tell!”

Jekin stared at her exposed breasts and licked his lips. “Ah, you might not know this but me and my crew have taken a vow of celibacy. It is more of a political statement actually, and one that is easy to do when there are no women on board. But now that you are here, I would like to fulfill some of my urges in a manner that is not known to the rest of the crew.”

A thrill of desire went through Vaquel. “Are you trying to purchase sex from me like a common whore?”

“No, no, no!” Jekin said, still whispering. “The diamonds are to purchase your silence. The sex would be mutually enjoyable.”

“Oh,” Vaquel said, a tad disappointed. “All right, leave the diamonds on the counter and get in.” She tossed the blanket off of her body.

“Petals of my father,” Jekin swore as he looked at her body. He tossed the diamonds onto the counter and missed. The diamonds dropped nosily to the floor but Jekin didn’t care. He ripped open the front of his overalls to reveal a slender cock, already hard and pointing to the right.

“That will do,” Vaquel said.

Jekin bent over and picked Vaquel up. He lifted her body as easily as if they were in low gravity. One hand on either hip, he lowered her onto his cock. The slender root pushed up inside of her.

“Ohh!” Vaquel moaned. The narrow cock reached deep inside her pussy. She wrapped her hands around the pirate’s neck as she hung in his arms.

“You, you, you have an extremely damp orifice,” Jekin whispered.

Vaquel didn’t think it was a good idea to mention that the dampness was fifty percent seed from Mops. “I bet you say that to all the women you break your vow of celibacy with.”

Jekin snorted. His powerful hands locked her in place. He jacked his cock using her body as his se toy. The rest of his body locked into place with only his powerful arms doing all the work.

Vaquel bounced up and down. The thin cock impaled her with every drop. Her already sensitive sex spasmed and clenched. She locked her fingers tightly around his neck even though she had no fear of him dropping her.

Jekin’s eyes were locked on her breasts, more specifically, the ring of bite marks that adorned each mound.

“Curious, curious, curious markings,” he said. “Are they tribal identifiers?”

“Yeah,” Vaquel lied. “They tell people where I like to be bitten.”

Jekins grunted and kept staring. The sound of wet fucking filled the room. It was joined by the slapping of Vaquel’s heavy breasts against her chest. Jekins grunted, increasing in volume as he slid Vaquel faster up and down his root.

“Make me come, pirate,” Vaquel groaned. “Make me come with your celibate cock!”

Jekins groaned. His fingers dug painfully into Vaquel’s hips. He pumped Vaquel on his cock with terrifying speed.

“Yes, yes, yes, glory to the Queen!” Vaquel cried.

Jekins shuddered as Vaquel climaxed. He slowed down and his grunts took on a deeper tone. His hips began to pump and his fucking became more deliberate.

“Do it,” Vaquel whispered. “Come inside this tight sex hole. Give me your years of come.”

Jekin’s grunt turned into a whimper. He was close.

“You have a visitor at the door,” the door said.

Jekin’s eyes bulged but he didn’t stop. He pumped her twice as fast on his cock for four more strokes and then he stopped completely. Hot seed filled Vaquel’s pussy as the pirate held her in place. After six spurts of his cock, Jekin slid Vaquel off his cock and tossed her to the bed.

Vaquel shrieked as she hit the bed. “What the fuck?”

“I, I, I got to get out of here,” Jekin whispered. “Good thing there is a hatch in the hygiene chamber!”

“Would you like to let them in?” the door asked.

Vaquel sighed. Jekin ducked into the hygiene chamber, his cock dripping with Vaquel’s juices. Vaquel reached between her legs and touched her now empty sex.

“Please respond with ‘yes’ or ‘no’,” the door said.

Vaquel tossed the blanket back over her body. “Yes!” she yelled.

The door opened. The pirate had light green skin and a lack of any hair. Optical enhancers covered one eye. He was slender as Jekin’s cock. Vaquel remembered his name because it sounded filthy.

“Hey, Nighole,” Vaquel said with a yawn, feigning sleep. “What brings you by?”

“Excuse, excuse, excuse the interruption of her dormant cycle,” Nighole said. He looked both ways before stepping into her quarters. He closed the door behind him and relaxed when the locks clicked. “I have something of a delicate situation to discuss.”

“Does it involve your vow of celibacy and how you would like to break that vow but keep it secret from the rest of the crew?” Vaquel asked.

Nighole paled to a lighter shade of green. “Great, great, great Cutter! How did you know that?”

“It is a common problem with perversions like celibacy,” Vaquel said. She threw the blanket off her body and sat up. “Lucky for you, I am willing to help sentients break such a filthy habit.”

“Oh, oh, oh my,” Nighole said. He stared at her body. The optical scanner zoomed to get a better look. “What is that discharge around your sex lips? It looks like Seed-Walker come.”

“Nah, that is just my natural juices,” Vaquel lied. “I get really turned on helping celibates break their vow.”

“Interesting, interesting, interesting,” Nighole said. He pulled at a seam on his overalls. A gap from his neck down to his crotch opened in the red fabric.

Vaquel reached for his cock. It was a decent length. Not as long as Jekins or as thick as Mops, but perfectly adequate. Vaquel wrapped her fingers around it and gave a tight squeeze. It pulsed in her hand.

“I, I, I do have a second request as well,” Nighole said.

“Oh?” Vaquel said. She rubbed her thumb over the head of the member. A drop of yellow liquid leaked from the tip.

“Can, can, can you restrict my air passages while we copulate?” Nighole asked.

Vaquel’s grip tightened around Nighole’s cock to a painful extreme and then released. “Get your ass in this bed and I will choke the fuck out of you.”

Nighole almost shoved Vaquel out of the way as he climbed into bed. The impatient pirate flopped on his back, his cock waving in the air like an antenna. He laid on the bed and grabbed the headboard behind him.

Vaquel liked his enthusiasm. She climbed on top of the pirate. Taking his cock in hand, she held it in place as she slowly impaled herself.

“There we go,” Vaquel moaned. She settled on his crotch, placing her knees on either side of his hips. Her own hips swiveled, as if trying to screw his cock deeper into her slick sex.

“Wet, wet, wet you are,” Nighole said. “Is everyone in your species this wet?”

“Only if they are lucky,” Vaquel said. “Ready for the second part of your request?”

Before Nighole could respond, Vaquel leaned forward and grabbed his throat with both hands. The thin neck was supple and her fingers sunk in. She could feel his muscles underneath fighting her.

Nighole gasped for air. His visible eye bulged and then rolled into the back of his head. A blissed smile spread across his green face.

A sudden thrust from Nighole’s hips nearly knocked Vaquel over. She tightened her grip as the alien continued to thrust into her. The harder she squeezed, the faster he fucked her from his prone position.

“Queen’s tit!” Vaquel cried. Up and down Nighole’s hips bounced with Vaquel on top of him. There was a frenzy to his motion that sent Vaquel bouncing one direction then the other. It was like trying to stay on a malfunctioning jet bike.

But this bike had a cock and that cock was giving Vaquel a wonderful ride. Not only was it driving deep up inside her, but the member pulsed and squirmed. It thrashed wildly within her slick sex.

“Oh fuck,” Vaquel cried. Her pussy was taking another beating. The impacts on her pelvis were starting to ache. This was getting dangerous.

Vaquel squeezed tighter with her hands.

Nighole gasped. His green lips turned white. He stuck out his tongue and it pulsed before Vaquel’s eyes.

The alien’s hips fucked faster. Vaquel squealed as she struggled to hold on. Pink hair and brown breasts bounced with wild abandon. The headboard banged against the wall like a battering ram.

“Glory to the Queen!” Vaquel cried. Her orgasm came quickly and she nearly lost her grip on Nighole’s throat.

Nighole kept thrusting into Vaquel’s climaxing sex.

“Glory to the Queen!” Vaquel cried again. Her second orgasm sent a spasm up and down her spine.

Nighole kept thrusting.

“Glory to the Queen!” Vaquel cried once more. The third orgasm turned her body into a pulsing star of pleasure.

Nighole suddenly stopped in the middle of a thrust. He held the position, holding Vaquel up in the air with the power of his hips. A second later, a hot flood of seed filled Vaquel’s sex. Only then did he collapse back onto the bed.

“Whoa,” Vaquel said. She let go of Nighole’s throat. His cock continued to pulse inside her, stuffing her pussy with more and more alien seed.

“Ahhhhhh, ahhhhh, ahhhh,” Nighole gasped. His one eye unrolled and looked glazed. The optical scanner zoomed in and out, unable to focus.

“You have a visitor at the door,” the door said.

Nighole shifted to the side and Vaquel fell from his tilted lap. He sprang from the bed with panic. He looked at the door and then all around for an escape.

Vaquel sighed. Seed flowed from her sensitive pussy. Bruises were forming on her thighs.

“There is a maintenance hatch in the hygiene chamber,” Vaquel said.

Nighole nodded and stumbled towards the hygiene chamber door.

“Would you like to let them in?” the door asked.

“Let’s give the guy a moment,” Vaquel said. Nighole entered the hygiene chamber and closed the door behind him.

“Please respond with ‘yes’ or ‘no’,” the door said.

Vaquel tossed the blanket back over her body, wincing as from a dozen bruises on her pelvis. “Yes!” she yelled.

The door opened. It was yet another pirate. This one only wore pants instead of overalls. He was a pale shade of green, but his arms, shoulders and chest were covered in thick blue hair. His mouth was shaped more like a snout. Vaquel assumed he was an example of the Prober Supremes’ experiments.

“Hey, uh, can’t quite remember your name,” Vaquel said. “Slasher? Poker?”

“Stabber, Stabber, Stabber,” the pirate said with a low growl. “You are probably wondering why I am here but-“

“Look, my sex is pretty sore right now but I could suck you off if you want,” Vaquel said.

Stabber winced, which Vaquel thought was a weird reaction to being offered a blowjob, but when Stabber jumped into the room and closed the door, she realized he was afraid of other pirates hearing. The eagerness in which he opened his pants told her that her offer was appreciated. He pulled out a rather long looking cock, nestled in a thick bush blue pubic hair.

“Might, might, might want to be quick,” Stabber growled. “I thought I saw C-E prowling the corridors.”

“You guys should have worked out a rotation,” Vaquel said.

“What, what, what do you mean?” Stabber asked. The growl in his voice deepened.

“Never mind,” Vaquel said. “Get over here.” She sat up and tossed the blanket aside.

Stabber forgot his question at the sight of Vaquel’s naked body. He stepped forward and took one of her brown breasts in his hand. His fingers gently grazed her skin as he pulled.

Despite the soreness between her legs, Vaquel felt a flesh of desire. She took his cock in hand and pulled him closer. The long member twitched in his hand. She took him into her mouth and closed her lips around him.

The pirate tasted minty. Vaquel licked and relished the flavor. The cock wiggled and she took more of him between her lips. Centimeter by centimeter, she took him down her throat.

Stabber growled. It was a deep rumble that came from his chest. One hand went to the back of Vaquel’s head while the other continued to gently scratch her breast.

Vaquel swallowed more of his long cock. He hit the back of her throat and she barely had half of him inside her. She grabbed the base of his cock and gently squeezed.

The cock twitched in Vaquel’s mouth. Stabber kept growling and his hips bucked. Vaquel choked but quickly recovered.

“Good, good, good, mouth,” Stabber said.

Vaquel nodded with Stabber’s cock in her mouth. She stroked the base of his cock while her lips sealed around the middle. Her tongue licked the underside of his member with sweeping motions. She looked up at him and held his eyes as she pumped and licked.

Stabber growled. The blue mass of public hair straightened and stood on end. His cock wiggled and twisted in Vaquel’s mouth.

There was a clang from the hygiene chamber. Stabber’s growl suddenly stopped. He turned his head towards the hygiene chamber door.

“Did, did, did you hear that?” Stabber asked.

Vaquel pulled back on his cock. She moved her head from side to side so that the head of his member bulged against the sides of her cheek. Pressing her thumbnail against the underside of his shaft, she traced a line down his length to his balls.

Stabber forgot about the noise. He turned back around to look at Vaquel. The low constant growl returned.

“Been, been, been so long,” Stabber moaned.

Seed filled Vaquel’s mouth. She swallowed the first spurt but more kept coming. Her fist tightened around his cock and resumed pumping. More seed gushed into her mouth. The thick liquid tasted sweet. She struggled to keep it all in her mouth.

“You have a visitor at the door,” the door said.

Stabber pulled his cock from Vaquel’s mouth. Yellow seed smeared across her chin. He quickly sealed his overalls and pulled out a knife his pant leg.

“Whoa!” Vaquel said. “You don’t need a knife! Just take the maintenance hatch in the hygiene chamber!”

Stabber looked at his knife and sighed. He reluctantly stuffed it back into his pant leg and went into the hygiene chamber.

“Would you like to let them in?” the door asked.

“Queen’s tit, I want to but I wish they spaced themselves out more,” Vaquel said.

“Please respond with ‘yes’ or ‘no’,” the door said.

“Why not? Yes!” Vaquel said. She reached for the blanket and stopped. Why fucking bother?

The door opened. In walked C-E, the first mate on the ship. The Seed-Walker was mostly cybernetic, with strange metal bits all over his body. Every bit was a different color and he looked like a walking rainbow.

“Thank you for permitting me entry, Vaquel,” C-E began but he stopped when he saw her naked body.

“Sure, close the door behind you,” Vaquel said.

“Uh, yes,” C-E said. He walked in and sealed the door behind him. “You are probably curious why I have arrived.”

“No, not really,” Vaquel said. “I’ll skip to the good part. I will help you break your vow of celibacy, and yes, I will not tell the rest of your crew. My pussy is feeling a bit tender right now and my stomach is really full, so we’ll have to get creative. Do you understand?”

“Sexual creativity was my prime function before turning pirate,” C-E said.

“Good,” Vaquel said. “Now do you want a handjob or would you rather fuck my tits?”

“I prefer an alternate gratification,” C-E said. He opened a slit in his overalls to reveal a long, thin and very shiny cock. The cock buzzed and extended a few centimeters.

“Well, you got my curiosity,” Vaquel said. Despite the soreness in her sex, Vaquel felt the familiar heat of desire.

The cyborg approached Vaquel on the bed and gently grabbed her shoulders. He rolled her over onto her stomach and pulled her legs off the edge of the bed. His hands went to her buttocks and Vaquel heard a tiny motor. A second later, something warm and slippery splashed against the crack of her ass.

“Ah, now this is what I expected on a pirate ship,” Vaquel said.

Strong hands spread Vaquel’s buttocks apart. The slippery fluid sprayed onto her asshole. There was another squeal of motors and then something pressed against her anus. It vibrated pleasantly against her.

“Queen’s tit,” Vaquel sighed.

A hand pressed down on the back of Vaquel’s head. “Prepare for anal integration.”

“Integrate me, fucker!” Vaquel said.

C-E’s cock pushed again Vaquel. Her asshole barely had to stretch to allow the slender tip in. The unknown lubricant eased the passage and it wasn’t long before his entire shaft was inside her. The cybernetic cock vibrated at a steady pulse.

“Damn, that feels good,” Vaquel moaned. Juices flowed from her jealous sex.

“I regret losing most of my original organs and being turned into a horrific machine, but at least my genitals received an upgrade,” C-E said.

“Yeah, sad story,” Vaquel said. “Could you please just fuck my ass?”

C-E pushed down harder with his hand. Vaquel’s face pressed down into the mattress. His hips rocked back and forth with mechanical precision. The slender vibrating cock pumped her tight asshole with increasing speed.

“You are right,” C-E said. “I am just a horrible mockery of a Seed-Walker. I should remember my function and violate your ass like I was designed to do.”

Vaquel wasn’t sure if C-E was being sarcastic or melancholic but she didn’t care. The vibrating cock felt wonderful. The lubricant kept everything slippery as her ass was relentlessly fucked.

“My cock sensor tells me that you can take a forty percent increase in anal desecration,” C-E said. “Do you concur?”

“Desecrate that ass!” Vaquel yelled.

C-E complied. The hand on Vaquel head twisted her short pink hair to painful levels. The hips crashing into her ass increased in speed and the impact on her buttocks was intense. The cock inside her pulsed to a higher level of vibration while also slowly increasing in girth.

“Queen’s tit!” Vaquel cried out. She grabbed the mattress sheets and held on. Her legs kicked to no effect. The bed underneath her pussy became soaking wet.

“Yes, yes, yes,” C-E cried. “This is my true function! Being a pirate is a waste of my potential! I should be destroying anal orifices every day! I will stage a one-man mutiny! This ship and crew will obey me if I have to fuck every ass myself! We will begin a rampage across the galaxy! No ass will be left intact!”

“Oh fuck, that is what I am talking about!” Vaquel cried. “Keep talking dirty like that!”

Vaquel let go of the mattress and reached under her pelvis. Even though her pussy was sore to the touch, Vaquel furiously rubbed her sex lips.

“I will make a new vow!” C-E yelled. “I will take a Vow of Anal Dominance! The Prober Supreme himself will be impaled on my glorious cock!”

“Glory to the Queen!” Vaquel cried out. She came on her fingers as the cyborg took her ass.

“All who give their allegiance to me must first give their ass!” C-E yelled. His cock pushed deeper inside Vaquel.

“Whoa!” Vaquel cried. She didn’t know her ass could be penetrated that deeply.

“Entire planets will walk funny after I have conquered them!” C-E cried. The vibrations from his cock tripled in power.

“Shit!” Vaquel cried. It was too much. The cock was too deep and the vibrations were too strong. She wanted to resist but the bottom half of her body was turning numb as it was being ripped apart.

“My cock will break a billion ASSES!” C-E’s words ended in a scream. His hips came to a stop and his cock ceased vibrating.

Hot seed filled Vaquel’s ass. There was too much. Seed spilled from her ass despite the cock plugging it.

Vaquel was too afraid to move. C-E pulled out of her and more seed oozed from her ass. The loss of his cock left a void inside her. She wondered if she would be able to walk tomorrow. Fuck, she wondered if she would be able to walk again.

“That was weird,” C-E said. “I am not sure where that megalomania came from. Please disregard my previous statements as I will be resuming my vow of celibacy immediately.”

Vaquel sighed. “It was too good to be true. You are not the first guy who becomes a lot less ambitious after he climaxes.”

“Perhaps,” C-E said. “I defer to your wanton experience. If you excuse me, I will now exit your quarters before I am discovered.”

Vaquel was too exhausted to get up. She heard the door open and close, followed by the click of a lock. It occurred to her that he was the only pirate to fuck her and leave by the front door.

A burp rose within Vaquel’s throat. It had the sweet aftertaste of Seed-Walker come. Vaquel dragged her sore and exhausted body onto the bed and laid her head on the pillow. Her ass hurt too much to lay on her back and her pussy was too sore to lay on her stomach. She rolled onto her side and closed her eyes.

“You have a visitor at the door,” the door said.

Vaquel laughed. Who was left? The entire crew had come by. Did someone want seconds?

“Would you like to let them in?” the door asked.

“Damn it, I guess I do,” Vaquel said.

“Please respond with ‘yes’ or ‘no’,” the door said.

“Yes!” Vaquel snapped.

The door opened. It was the Captain. He stepped inside her quarters and closed the door behind him. As he turned around to speak, he noticed Vaquel’s naked body and the words died in his mouth.

“Forget something?” Vaquel asked.

“No, no, no, but I have been reconsidering your offer,” the Captain said. He pulled hard on his beard. “Celibacy is hard, and I may have been too hasty in refusing your generosity.”

“Let me stop you there,” Vaquel said. “While you were out, I ah, attended to my own needs. Now I am exhausted but if you want to get off, feel free to go ahead. Just don’t touch me.”

Captain Hellic tugged his beard with both hands. “Agreed, agreed, agreed,” he said. He opened a seam on his overalls and reached inside. Out came a massive cock with a thick head

“Queen’s mercy,” Vaquel swore. She was both aroused and terrified. It was a shame that she hadn’t enjoyed that fine organ earlier, but it was too late now.

Captain Hellic walked up to the bed. He spat into his hand and stroked his cock. The thick root swelled to a larger size.

Vaquel stared at the immense cock. Maybe if she was really careful, she could take it inside her pussy? The walls of her sex ached in disagreement. There was no way that thing was going in her ass. Could she suck on it? Her bloated stomach protested the thought.

No, Vaquel wasn’t going to do any of those things. Besides, fuck the Captain, he had his chance. His crew are better pirates than he is.

Captain Hellic stroked his cock. His eyes were locked on Vaquel’s thick brown legs. He reached out with one hand towards her thigh.

“No!” Vaquel snapped. “No touching, you celibate pervert.”

Captain Hellic moaned in disappointment but he pulled his hand back.

Vaquel’s pussy clenched with desire. Being cruel was as good as being used. Maybe she should reconsider having him inside her? No, this was too good to stop.

“Here, here, here it comes!” Captain Hellic cried. Seed sprayed from his cock. Long streams of come flew in the air and landed across Vaquel’s leg. The hot yellow seed felt good on her brown skin.

“There, you’re done,” Vaquel said, knowing he had more to ejaculate. “Stop and put it away/”

Captain Hellic moaned. He squeezed his cock tightly and the come stopped. Wincing, he tucking his cock back into his overalls and closed the seam.

“Now go,” Vaquel said. “Go now or I’ll tell your crew about your weakness.”

Captain Hellic rushed to the door. He fumbled with the lock and then opened it. The Captain rushed through and the door closed behind him.

Vauquel let out the laugh she had been holding. When she was finished, she spoke to the door.

“Door, if anyone comes by, tell them to go away. I’m done!”

“Privacy mode is now activated,” the door replied.

“Thank the Queen,” Vaquel sighed. She closed her eyes, not bothering to wipe the Captain’s seed from her leg. Within seconds, she was asleep.

Fucking celibates was exhausting.

Apr 302019

In a surprise twist, Amazon agreed with me that my books should not be banned. My account has been restored and you can buy my stuff again.

Wow, this is great news. I am emotionally exhausted but still, great news. I do need to look into alternate outlets as a safety precaution in case this happens again.

Thanks for every one’s support. The messages and comments really kept my spirits up in what was a super anxious time for me.

Apr 292019

Alone Among the Stars is a creative writing game by Takuma Okada. You play a lone space explorer visiting strange new planets. Through a system of six-sided dice and a deck of playing cards, you generate random things to explore. For each place generated, you write a log entry. That is it.

The random prompts generated are very vague and intentionally so. The suit of the card determines what you find and the card value determines where you find it. That means I can pull a card and get something like, “Creatures by a gentle river”. What kind of creatures? Are they hostile? Are they fish, people or monsters? What is the river made of? That is for you to decide.

At first the vagueness bothered me. I wanted more detail but after playing a few days, I see where details could turn into something repetitive. Creatures by a river could mean lots of things, and perhaps it is best that you do the heavy lifting in a creative exercise.

My favorite moments in video games is discovery. I enjoy exploring places more than I enjoy fighting things in those places. The problem with a video game is that there is a finite amount of discovery because everything needs an art asset. This game fixes that by using your imagination.

Personally, I play one session a day of this game, before my usual writing. It is a nice little exercise to warm up with as well as just being fun to do. There are times when I am looking forward more to the game than my actual writing, which is okay. It helps me segue easier than the stuff I should be writing.

I will admit that after one playthrough, I began to tweak and modify some of the rules. I also changed the space setting to one of magical plane exploration. Apparently I am not alone in wanting to alter it as there are dozens of variations out there inspired by Alone Among the Stars. Heck, I will probably be adding my own variation to the mix before long.

Is there any better compliment for a creative writing game than inspiring others to make their own? I don’t think so.

 Have You Played  Comments Off on Have You Played Alone among the Stars?
Apr 252019

Yesterday, Amazon sent me a form letter telling me that “Fight in the Sex Arena” violated their standards. Since this was my second offense, they deleted my kindle publishing account, erased my ebooks and decided to keep all the royalties owed to me.

They didn’t say what was offensive about my book. Was it heart-racing combat followed by humiliating sex? Was it my frequent abuse of the word, “thrust”? Was it the many, many, MANY scenes where the Cocksquid violates the player? Amazon won’t tell me so I can only assume my erotica was so hot that I killed someone.

This is rather depressing news. My Amazon books earned me on average about $500 a month, which was no small thing. I spent that money on Patreon, comics, cover art, bills and so much porn.

It feels a lot like getting fired, except I am fired from a job I love and plan to keep on doing. I will keep writing and I will find another outlet to sell through, but the emotional impact is still there. It sucks.

I have sent an email to KDP support asking for clarification, but my experience has been that they rarely respond. I will keep you updated on what they say so that other authors can learn.

Thank you for your support and patience as I consider what to do next,

Apr 052019

Railroad Ink is a game for one to seven players. Each player gets a blank board and a dry-erase marker. Someone rolls dice, and the dice have different railroad tracks and highway shapes on them. The players have to draw on their map, using only what is on the dice. Their goal is to create long stretches of roads and tracks that all link together, but when you can only use the shapes that have been rolled on the dice, your system will look like it has been designed by a very drunk architect. You play for seven rounds and then grade your map according to several criteria. The highest score wins.

That is the whole game. You roll dice and draw tracks and highways. if you play the blue box of Railroad Ink, you also draw lakes and rivers. If you play the red box, you draw volcanoes and meteors. You could probably play with both sets and draw a really weird map with rivers, highways, train tracks and volcanoes.

If you are talented, and use your own collection of markers like my wife, you might end up with a map like this.

I will never make a map this prett

What surprises me about Railroad Ink is how relaxing it is. There is something soothing about drawing, even if it is just little pieces of highway. The game can be challenging but never stressful. It gives me a similar satisfaction to what I get from coloring, but engages my brain just a little more.

Now, nothing in the rules says that when you roll the dice, you shout “ALL ABOARD!” but I think it helps. I also advise shouting “CHOO CHOO MOTHERFUCKER!” when you get a bad roll of the dice. The game is simple enough that you could play it while watching television, but to get the ultimate experience, I suggest putting this on your TV and letting it be your soundtrack.

Apr 032019

Explorer’s Log: This is my third day in the star system designated “Everyone is Aflame When the Queen Walks in the Room” by Royal Astronomers. I have completed my surveys of the five inhabited planets, although patrols of war ships have limited my ability to visit them. Listening to communications have confirmed that these worlds are under the control of the Prober Supreme. Long range scans show that all five worlds are heavily industrialized. Traffic is heavy with transport ships coming to and from the worlds. Despite the presence of war ships, I have not discovered any signs of planetary defenses. The ships must be here to protect against pirates or some sort of space-based threat.

I did discover something interesting on the planet furthest from the sun. It is a little ice rock of a planetoid, but my probe was lucky enough to detect a faint energy reading. On further investigation, I have found a hidden complex deep in a crater. It is curious that none of the war ships come near the planet. It will be easy for me to land near the city and explore it personally.

Of course, I am taking a big risk with this remote location. It could be the home of pirates, or maybe renegades that the war ships are looking for. I will brave these dangers so that my Queen may know as much as possible about this system. Glory to the Queen! End Explorer’s Log.

Explorer’s Personal Log: Since the war ships pussy-blocked me from getting laid on any of the industrial planets, I am hoping to find someone or something to fuck on this hidden base. I really don’t want to leave this system unfucked.

Vaquel Di dropped down from a ventilation panel. She landed on the floor in darkness. The trained space explorer waited a full hundred breathes, listening for any sign that her entry had been discovered.

Nothing happened.

Vaquel stood up and turned on a small light on her wrist. The light was partially absorbed by the tight black space suit clinging to Vaquel’s abundant curves. She took a tool from the belt around her wide hips and activated it. The numbers from the tool reflected on the transparent glassteel helmet she wore. Short pink hair floated in the low gravity along side her pretty brown face.

“This can’t be right,” Vaquel said. “Two billion life forms?”

Vaquel put the tool away and pressed a control on her glove. A stronger beam of light projected from her wrist. She swept the beam from left to right, revealing the area around her.

Giant tubes lined the walls. Inside each tube was a Seed-Walker, the dominant species of the area. The Seed-Walkers floated in an unknown transparent liquid with their eyes closed. Vaquel could tell that they were alive because they twitched or writhed every few minutes.

The Seed-Walkers were humanoids with a plant origin but shared many characteristics with Vaquel’s species. They had two arms, two legs and similar secondary sexual characteristics. Other than their wide variety of hair colors, they were almost dull.

Dull was not a word that could apply to the Seed-Walkers in the tubes. Each was different in a radical way. The woman in front of Vaquel had two heads. The man to the right had a giant penis that snaked around one leg. Next to him was a woman whose arms ended in enormous pincers like a crab.

“Queen’s tit,” Vaquel swore. Some of the tube occupiers were monstrous, like the man with eight long legs below his waist. Others were almost beautiful in their strangeness, like the woman with shimmering feathers lining her arms. No two were alike and their placement seemed random.

Vaquel stood in front of a tube containing a busty woman. Her breasts shifted constantly, something forming hands before melting back down into curvy mounds. Nipples would disappear and then rise elsewhere.

“Are you here on your own free will?” Vaquel asked the woman in the tube. She noticed a control panel at the base of the tube. There were no buttons or obvious way to interface. The only markings were a rather long bar code.

“And why are they all the way out here?” Vaquel said to no one. “They are hidden away with no security. Are they being punished, or just being kept?”

“There is security, security, security,” a pleasing voice said from above.

Vaquel aimed her light at the ceiling. Crawling out of the same vent that Vaquel had come out of was a beautiful Seed-Walker woman. Long green and pink hair floated around her head. She had an iridescent blue sparkle to her skin. Her yellow eyes were a little large and her mouth was wide, but she was gorgeous.

“Oh, hello,” Vaquel said.

The woman dropped down lower from the ceiling. Vaquel gasped as she saw the woman’s torso kept extending upwards. It was only when she saw the tail did Vaquel realize the woman’s bottom half resembled a snake. The woman dropped gently through the low gravity. When she reached the floor and rose to her full height, she towered above Vaquel.

“There is no shuttle at the dock, dock, dock,” the woman said. “Have you escaped your tube? I don’t remember you. And where did you get those clothes? No one is allowed clothes here. Who are you?”

“I am Vaquel,” the explorer said. “I didn’t come from a tube. I am an explorer.”

“You came from outside, outside, outside?” the woman said. She waved a hand and lights activated in the ceiling. The hallway was illuminated for about a hundred meters in every direction.

“That’s interesting!” the woman said. “No one ever comes inside awake! You must be very special, special, special.”

“I like to think so,” Vaquel said. “What is your name?”

“I am Jornelia Doorm Angin, Vaquel, Vaquel, Vaquel,” the woman replied. She slithered around Vaquel examined the explorer from every angle. “I have never seen someone like you before. What are you doing here? You probably aren’t allowed here.”

“I didn’t know that,” Vaquel lied. “I am on a mission of exploration and discovery. I go to unknown places and try to figure them out.”

“You go to new places, places, places?” Jornelia said. “I wouldn’t like that. I have been here all my life. I like it here.”

Jornelia pressed her finger against one of Vaquel’s buttocks. The space suit dimpled from her finger poke. Jornelia purred and poked the other buttock.

Vaquel let the woman grope her. “What is this place, Jornelia?”

Jornelia slithered around to Vaquel’s front. “I would love to answer your questions, questions, questions. It is strange to talk to someone who doesn’t live her, but your clothes are too distracting. No one is allowed clothing here. Please, talk off your clothes and we can talk, talk, talk.”

Vaquel checked the environmental readings on her wrist scanner. The air was breathable and the temperature was a bit humid. She pressed a button on her belt and her black space suit retracted from her body. The suit revealed her heavy brown breasts, wide hips, thick legs and a thick bush of pink pubic hair over her sex. She took off her helmet and stepped out of her boots.

“Much better, better, better,” Jornelia said. “But please, take this off too.” She pointed at Vaquel’s belt. “It makes my kokala tingle just to look at it.”

Vaquel hesitated. The belt contained all of her equipment. She would not only be naked, but defenseless as well. It was not the smart move to make.

Jornelia looked at Vaquel with her big yellow eyes. A thin tongue licked her wide lips. The bottom half of her body undulated in a way that was too sexy to ignore.

“Okay,” Vaquel said. She unlocked her belt and let it drift to the floor. “Now you need to tell me what this place is.”

“This is a storage post for the Prober Supreme’s experiments, experiments, experiments” Jornelia replied. “Every tube contains someone the Prober Supreme has altered, mutated, enhanced or indulged a whim of science on. Every specimen is kept alive in case they are needed for further experimentation.”

“Queen’s tit,” Vaquel whispered. “Are there other posts?”

“That is classified but I am sure that there are, are, are,” Jornelia said. She tentatively reached for Vaquel’s thigh. Her long fingers wrapped around the thigh and squeezed. “All of our specimens started as Seed-Walkers, so there must be places where the Prober Supreme stores his animals, his bacteria and artificial creatures, creatures, creatures.”

Since Jornelia was touching Vaquel’s thigh, Vaquel felt it was safe to touch Jornelia in return. She reached for a small breast and cupped it. The skin looked smooth but she could feel tiny scales. A small nipple hardened from Vaquel’s touch.

“You said that you live here,” Vaquel said. “Are you one of the Prober Supreme’s creations?”

“The Prober Supreme has blessed my genes, yes, yes, yes,” Jornnelia said. “My brothers and sisters have all been improved so that we may guard his specimens.”

Jornelia lowered herself so that her face was level with Vaquel’s crotch. She wrapped her other hand around Vaquel’s other thigh. Her tongue extended and fluttered over Vaquel’s dark skin.

Vaquel shuddered from the light touch. Reptiles smell with their noses, right? The modified woman was probably just fascinated with Vaquel’s legs.

“Brothers and sisters? Are they here too?” Vaquel asked.

“My entire meta-species lives here, here, here,” Jornelia said. “Every storage post has their own security species. This place is our home and our birthright.”

Jornelia’s long tongue took a careful lick of Vaquel’s thigh. When Vaquel’s muscle quivered from the touch, Jornelia licked again. The woman giggled at Vaquel’s shudders.

“I am sure that you are good at your job,” Vaquel said. “Although I think I would get bored if I had to stay in one location all the time.”

Jornelia shook her head. Green and pink hair swirled around her. “It is hard to be bored with so many specimens to play with, with, with.”

“Wait, you take people out of their tubes?” Vaquel said. “Doesn’t that mess with their storage?”

“No, no, no,” Jornelia said as she took another lick of Vaquel’s thigh. “The tubes are clearly marked on which specimens can be played with and which are left alone. We take them out for a short time and they are very confused. After we are done, we put them back in and they go back to sleep, sleep, sleep.”

Vaquel looked up at one of the tubes. It showed a man with a head that resembled a feline. His cock twitched and seed was expelled.

“They look like they are doing more than sleeping,” Vaquel said. “That one just climaxed.”

“The stasis fluids keep them aroused, aroused, aroused,” Jornelia said. “It makes them very pliable when we take them out. You are not a Seed-Walker, are you, you, you?”

“No,” Vaquel said distractedly. Jornelia’s tongue was tantalizingly close to her sex. The tip of the tongue kept exploring the crease where Vaquel’s thigh joined her crotch. She wondered if it would be rude to push the woman’s head to her pussy.

“And with of all your questions, I don’t think you were made by the Prober Supreme, right, right, right?” Jornelia asked. She looked up at Vaquel with her mesmerizing yellow eyes.

“No,” Vaquel said. Her hips moved and her crotch leaned closer to Jornelia.

“Good,” Jornelia said. “I have always enjoying tasting new people, people, people.”

Jornelia pressed her face against Vaquel’s pubic bush. The long tongue lapped at the right side of Vaquel’s sex lips and then the left. Soft licks moved back and forth, crisscrossing the explorer’s mound.

“More,” Vaquel moaned. She reached down and grabbed Jornelia’s floating hair. The woman’s hair was stiffer than Vaquel expected. More surprising was when the hair wrapped around Vaquel’s hand on their own accord. It didn’t stop Vaquel from pulling the woman’s head to her crotch.

Jornelia didn’t resist. Her face pressed against Vaquel’s sensitive sex. Her lips opened Vaquel’s pussy and the long tongue darted in. It pushed deep inside of her, the nimble tip flailing like a whip inside of Vaquel.

“Oh fuck!” Vaquel cried out. She shuddered and the low gravity sent her body floating upwards. Jornelia reached around and grabbed Vaquel’s ass. She held a buttock in each hand as her long fingers cinched tightly.

Pinned by Jornelia’s hands and mouth, Vaquel relaxed and enjoyed the woman’s mouth. Her breasts jiggled in the low gravity and collided against one another. Strands of Jornelia’s hair reached up and wrapped around Vaquel’s brown mounds. They tightened and the little jolt of pain travelled all the way down to Vaquel’s wet sex.

Jornelia licked harder. The woman grunted into Vaquel’s sex in a very non-reptile manner. Her tongue coiled within Vaquel’s sex, creating false impressions of girth before uncoiling and returning to lick Vaquel’s depths.

All around Jornelia and Vaquel, the specimens in their tubes continued to writhe. A woman with four breasts humped the empty area in front of her. A man covered in spines twitched as his cock expelled a load into the stasis fluid. Someone with a gender outside Vaquel’s immediate recognition convulsed in the universal signs of a climax.

“Lick harder,” Vaquel requested.

Jornelia looked up with her hypnotic yellow eyes. The bottom half of her jaw unhinged, and she had the entirety of Vaquel’s pubic region in her mouth. The fluttering tongue slowed and took long hard licks of Vaquel’s wet walls.

“Fuck!” Vaquel cried.

Jornelia rose to her full height, still holding onto Vaquel with her hands, hair and mouth. The tail half of her body began to slowly turn. She spun Vaquel’s body around in a slow orbit, all the while still licking at the explorer’s flowing sex.

Vaquel shuddered with pleasure. Dimly she aware of the tubes passing by her. Stranger and stranger specimens distracted her from the fact that Jornelia was steadily moving down the hallway.

“You have to teach me how to use my mouth on you,” Vaquel moaned.

Jornelia laughed onto Vaquel’s pussy. One of her hands moved towards Vaquel’s asshole and pressed down. Her slender finger easily entered Vaquel’s tight anus.

“Oh, fuck yes!” Vaquel cried out.

Jornelia came to a stop. Vaquel floated limply in her grip. The slender finger pushed deep inside of Vaquel, the smooth scales easing the way in. As her finger probed, Jornelia’s tongue flicked rapidly at inhuman speeds.

“Oh, Sweet Queen!” Vaquel cried out. She tried to raise her hands but Jornelia’s hair held onto them. The hair around Vaquel’s breasts also tightened, crushing Vaquel’s plentiful brown breasts in delightful ways. Vaquel was trapped, eaten, penetrated and squeezed in all the ways that she loved.

“Glory to the Queen!” Vaquel climaxed with a shout. Her ass clenched tightly around Jornelia’s limber finger. Juices gushed from Vaquel’s sex and down Jornelia’s throat.

Lost in orgasmic bliss, Vaquel was unprepared for Jornelia to suddenly move. The woman’s long hair released Vaquel’s breasts and hands while at the same time, spinning Vaquel away from Jornelia’s mouth. As Vaquel shot forward, Jornelia’s finger exited Vaquel’s ass at a distressing speed.

Vaquel slammed into the wall of a glass tube. Her large breasts took most of the impact but the air was still knocked from Vaquel. By the time she spun around, the front half of the tube had sealed shut.

Jornelia stood outside the tube with a large smile on her wet face.

“Let me out!” Vaquel said. She slammed her hand on the tube wall. It was as strong as glassteel.

“Why would I do that, that, that?” Jornelia asked. “Your breasts are nice and pliable while your ass is strong and firm. I like the way you taste. It is quite different from Seed-Walkers. I can’t wait to share you with my brothers and sisters, sisters, sisters.”

“But I didn’t get to lick you!” Vaquel said. “Don’t you want to be the first to experience my mouth?”

Jornelia shrugged. “Not really, really, really. I will be happy to share. I will be happier when we present you to the next specimen ship. The Prober Supreme will be happy to have a new species to experiment with. I can’t wait to see how he rewards us, us, us!”

As Vaquel processed the idea of being handed over as a test subject, Jornelia performed a complicated hand gesture over the base of the tube. Small spouts emerged above Vaquel and a clear, thick liquid sprayed down onto her.

“Enjoy yourself,” Jornelia said. “When next you wake up, you will be played with by my brothers and sisters, sisters, sisters.”

Rage boiled within Vaquel as she watched Jornelia slither away. The rage softened into desire as she watched the sexy undulations of the woman’s tail. By the time Jornelia was out of sight, Vaquel was rubbing her pussy.

“Fuck, the aphrodisiacs are already kicking in,” Vaquel said. The liquid was barely up to her ankles. It clung to her body like oil. She was already feeling a tingling in her skin.

Vaquel thought about Jornelia and her talented mouth. Would it be so bad to be a new toy for her people? They would probably use her at the same time, licking her body with twenty or thirty nimble tongues. Would they be as fascinated with her ass as Jornelia was? What would it be like to be groped and licked by an entire species?

“No!” Vaquel shouted. She tried to focus. The liquid was up to her knees now. Queen’s tit, as slow as the liquid is flowing, how long did she spend thinking about it?

The tingling was more intense now. Her legs felt almost euphoric. It was tempting to sit down in the liquid and let it rise over her sex. She wondered if she would climax before she fell asleep. Oh, she certainly hoped so!

The liquid was up to her thighs. Vaquel swore and braced herself against the far wall. She placed one foot on the side of the tube and pushed with everything she had.

The tube wall didn’t move. The liquid continued to shower over her. With Vaquel’s leg up like this, some of the fluid was flowing against her sex.

A delightful warmth spread through Vaquel’s sex. She realized that she never saw Jornelia’s genitals. Were they like a humanoid, or were they like a reptile? What was a reptile’s genitals like? Vaquel thought she knew but she couldn’t think of it. She couldn’t think of much of anything to be honest.

The liquid came up to Vaquel’s hips. The warmth in her pussy became a smoldering fire. Vaquel put her leg down and felt like she was on the verge of coming.

Vaquel pressed her palm to her sex. She came instantly. Her knees went weak and she slid down the side of the tube. The liquid came up to her shoulders as she sat down.

A thousand sensations came to life on Vaquel’s breasts. She cried out and relished the feelings. It was not quite biting, not quite groping, not quite kissing, not quite pinching but it was all wonderful.

The fluid rose to Vaquel’s chin. Her heart pounded with panic, but she wasn’t sure why. Everything felt nice. She was going to come again. Too bad Jornelia wasn’t here so Vaquel could soak her face again.

Jornelia! Hot rage washed over Vaquel. She stood up inside the tube, the liquid sloshing against her sensitive skin. The alien woman had out-smarted and betrayed Vaquel. That was unacceptable!

The volume from the spouts doubled. Buckets of sticky fluid dumped onto Vaquel. She braced herself against the wall as the liquid rose to her breasts. There was no more time!

Wait! Vaquel remembered something from her training at the Explorer Academy. There was actually a protocol for this! Vaquel had never needed to use it because she had never been foolish enough to take off her belt before.

“Belt!” Vaquel shouted. “Authorize V-A-Q-D!”

Did it work? Vaquel pressed her face against the wall of the tube. All she saw was an empty hallway.

“Belt!” Vaquel shouted again. “Authorize V-A-Q-D, damn it!”

Vaquel climaxed again. There was no build up. She suddenly went over the edge and experienced an orgasm. As her body shuddered in bliss, the liquid rose over her chin, her lips and then over her head.

Exhaustion came over Vaquel. She was extremely tired. It would be so easy to sleep.

As Vaquel’s eyes began to close, she saw something dark zipping through the air. It was her belt, using precious power for its anti-gravity drive. The belt slammed into Vaquel’s tube, outer buckle flat against the glass.

An orange light glowed from the buckle. Vaquel felt the urge to duck but she couldn’t remember why. Besides, she just wanted to go to sleep.

KRAK! The controlled plasma charge detonated, vaporizing a large portion of the glass wall. Stress and inside pressure from the stasis liquid did the rest. The glass exploded outward with the shards ricocheting in the low gravity.

Vaquel lunged for the belt. She was still in a euphoric daze but her training took over. She slapped the belt around her waist. A low energy alert beeped but she ignored it. She pressed a button and the black space suit emerged from the suit to cover her body. The micro-thin material pushed away the bulk of the stasis fluid and covered her skin.

“Queen’s tit,” Vaquel said. Her entire body was sensitive. She needed a fuck and a nap, and the order didn’t really matter.

An alarm screamed through the corridors. Vaquel rose to her feet. There was no time to rest. Jornelia and her kind would be here soon.

Vaquel ran down the hallway. The euphoria faded with every step. The tingling in her pussy was slower to fade. Vaquel pressed her hand to her crotch. She almost climaxed just from pressing down on the thin spacesuit.

The alarm continued. Yellow eyes glowed in the darkness. The smell of reptiles grew stronger.

Vaquel saw her helmet lying on the floor. Looking up, she could see the ventilation shaft that she had dropped from. She grabbed her helmet and slapped it on. As the seals locked around her neck, Vaquel hunched down for a leap towards the ceiling.

One of the tube captives caught her eye. The woman with the crab claws floated in her tube. She arched her back as she climaxed; her large claws opening and closing. Vaquel wondered how many times the woman had come without ever seeing her captors.

Shapes slithered down both ends of the hallway. Jornelia and her siblings were almost here.

Vaquel opened a slot on her belt. A tiny marble fell into her hand. She squeezed it and threw it at the claw woman’s tube. The marble adhered to the surface.

“Stop in the name of the Prober Supreme!” Jornelia yelled from down the hall.

Vaquel leaped into the air. She sailed through the low gravity with ease. A hundred voices hissed as she flew through the shaft opening.

SKREEEE! A high-pitched note filled the shaft as the marble Vaquel left behind detonated. The sonic grenade shattered the claw woman’s glass tube. It also shattered hundreds of tubes as the sound blasted down the hallway. The breaking of so much glass was louder than the blast of the grenade.

Vaquel’s rising body slowed in momentum. She put her arms out and braced herself inside the shaft. Shining her wrist light downwards, she checked to see if she was being followed.

There was no one in the shaft. Down below, was the sound of combat. Mixed with the thuds, slashing and crunching were the sounds of screams and angry hisses.

Vaquel grinned. “No one puts Vaquel in a test tube,” she said. She kicked upwards and began the long climb back to her ship.

Apr 012019
Honestly, the cat gets into more trouble

Anita is a collection of short stories by Keith Roberts. Published in 1970, these stories tell of Anita, a witch who may be a thousand years old but has the body of a young woman and the sex drive and recklessness to match. Anita lives with her Granny out in the woods but frequently comes to town to ride in the cars of handsome boys or make friends among the outcasts.

It is a lovely collection. The stories range from comedy like when Granny and Anita get a television, to really dark mood pieces like when Anita’s town friend commits suicide so Anita gets revenge on the town with a nasty curse. The stories were published in a magazine so they are self-contained with some continuity and one story is a direct sequel of another.

This book feels like a strange time capsule that shouldn’t exist. The stories remind me a lot of Vertigo comics in the 90’s and modern paranormal romances. Granny appears to be a distant relative of Pratchett’s Granny Weatherwax. Anita’s encounter with a mermaid reads like someone describing a Charles Vess painting. I would not be surprised if Anita was an inspiration for any of these.

Although the original book cover suggests the book is a sex book, it really isn’t by today’s standards. Anita has a lot of casual sex but it is never explicit. That doesn’t mean the book isn’t a sensual delight at times, as the imagery is quite lush. I imagine when this book was published, the idea of a woman fucking whoever takes her fancy must have seemed like porn to mainstream audiences.

My only criticism is that sometimes the witchcraft strays into satire. Hell has a bureaucracy and there is an Infernal Controller who regulates the movement of supernatural creatures like an air traffic controller. It is a shame because mixed with these satirical elements are some really good creepy magic moments that would fit perfectly into a horror novel or a modern supernatural romance. There are quite a few bits I plan to steal for my own fiction.

My copy was published in 1970 but it was reprinted in a lovely hardcover in 1990. The hardcover has illustrations and I am tempted to get it. There is also a cheaper no-frills Kindle version available.