Oct 252017
 

Time is the greatest test of quality. You might love something when it first comes out but the real test is if you love it ten years later. An even better test is if you love it after you have read, seen or played it a hundred times.  The best works of art get better with time and repetition.

A Night in the Lonesome October by Roger Zelazny is one of those books that I keep reading every year and I always find something new to delight me. It is the story of Jack the Ripper, A Vampire Count, a Mad Scientist and his Monster, a Great Detective, A Mad Monk, a Sinister Druid, a Witch, an Evil Vicar and others have come together for a great cosmic event set for Halloween night. Some want to use the event to open a gate to the Great Old Ones while others are there to close it. Who is a Closer or an Opener is never clear. The book takes part during the entire month of October and is part mystery and part Battle Royale.

Oh, and the best part is that the entire novel is told from the point of view of Jack the Ripper’s dog, Snuff. Don’t worry, he is probably the smartest character in the book and one of my favorite characters ever.

Since Roger Zelazny is writing it, the story moves along at a brisk pace. There is adventure, mystery and humor every where. There is a scene that never fails to make me knot up in tension and there are always new jokes and play on words that I didn’t catch last time.

It is worth it to seek out the hardcover edition as it includes illustrations by master artist, Gahan Wilson.

Oct 242017
 

When you go trick or treating this Halloween, you may come across a house that you don’t remember being there. It will look old and run down but there will be a light at the door. A silhouette will at the window and the shape of the shadow will make your libido flare.

If you are wise, you will notice that children will refuse to go there. Children are smart. They know things. If you are even wiser, you will follow their lead.

But you might not be wise. The shape in the window is too attractive to ignore. You will think to yourself that maybe you will knock on the door even though you are too old for Halloween. Maybe you will think of a ruse to convince the person in the window to chat with you.

No ruse is needed. Once you knock at the door, the attractive person at the window will answer. They will smile at whatever you say. Their body language will be inviting and open. When they invite you in, it would almost seem rude to ignore them.

That will be the last you see of this mortal world. Once you enter the House, there will be no return. Oh, don’t worry, you will get laid. The lovely person who opened the door will fuck your brains out. So will the slightly less attractive person in the living room and so will the not-quite attractive person in the kitchen.

From there, you will be passed on the strange person in the dining room and after that you will have to fuck the almost hideous person that lurks under the stairs. The people will become less like people and more like things and terrible horrors but the fucking will continue and continue and continue.

When you are a dried husk of the person you used to be and are no longer worth fucking they will add you to the foundation of the building. You’ll join the other damned souls in holding this awful nightmare of a structure together for when it appears next year, in another town, on another street, where a house shouldn’t be.

Whispers from Suckubeth by Anonymous.

Oct 232017
 

Witchazel is an album by comedic actor, Matt Berry. I picked up the album because it had the theme song to Berry’s show, Toast of London, but I had no idea I was actually buying the best folk psychedelic album of the 70’s that wasn’t made in the 70’s. Since Berry is a comedian, I was expecting funny songs but these songs are such pure examples of the kind of music you find in the folk psychedelic scene that I can listen to a song about a pheasant and find it perfectly normal.  Is the joke that Berry created a folk album or is there no joke at all? I can’t tell and I don’t care. It is wonderful for what it is.

The songs themselves are also very lovely. They have a mix of funk and folk along with Berry’s wonderful vocals. It is an overwhelmingly positive album where even a song about everyone ignoring the singer is so damn upbeat you just feel joy listening to it.

Needless to say, I love this album and listen to it constantly.

 

Oct 202017
 

Suk-Ems are strange beings that only appear on Halloween night. They lack very little power on their own and must be ingested in order to affect someone. They appear as hard candy wrapped in packaging that resembles but does not exactly duplicate popular brands. The only thing special about these wrappers is that are remarkably easy to open.

If a child or a virgin consumes a Suk-Em, nothing happens but if they are consumed by an adult with sexual experience, the Suk-Em is able to bond with the eater in a symbiotic manner. A Suk-Em will increase the saliva production in their host as well as strengthen and reinforce their jaw and tongue muscles.

Once these changes are in place, something that usually takes two or three minutes, the host will find they have an incredible oral fixation that far exceeds anything they have previously experienced. They will desire to suck cock, lick pussy, nibble breasts, lick ass, kiss without stopping as well as an incredible urge to eat ass.

The compulsion will be overwhelming and very non-discriminating. The Suk-Em grows stronger with every part that goes into the host’s mouth and if there is ejaculation or squirting, then the Suk-Em grows even stronger still. People infected with Suk-Ems have been known to perform oral feats that become the stuff of local legend.

The only known cure for someone who has eaten a Suk-Em is daylight. Exposure to the sun will eradicate its influence completely. This can make for some very long nights if a Suk-em is consumed early in the evening.

Whispers from Suckubeth by Anonymous.

Oct 192017
 

A Dark Song is a 2016 Irish Horror movie. Horror might be too strong of a word though it certainly gets very dark. It is a slow burn of a movie where little happens until the third act but it is easily one of my favorite movies about the occult. Heck, it might be my favorite occult movie.

Sophia is a middle-aged woman who wants to perform a long ritual in order to get her wish. Because of the complexity of the ritual, she hires occult expert, Solomon, to help her. The ritual requires that they stay isolated inside a house for weeks, possibly months until the ritual works. During this time, they are strictly forbidden from leaving the house and they must perform all sorts of labor-intensive tasks.

Being a movie, not everything is straight forward. Both participants have secrets and the rituals they perform offer little in the way of showing progress. This creates tension between the two as Sophia wonders if Solomon knows what he is doing or maybe this magic stuff is bullshit. It also creates weird scenes where a flower petal is discovered in a room and both of them rejoice because they are sure it means SOMETHING is happening.

Which I got to tell you, is pretty much the most occult thing I have ever seen in a movie.  In movies, the occult is special effects, music cues and quick plot developments. In real occult practice, there is no visual special effect. There is just the doubt that you have been wasting your time doing a quirky creative project.  That doubt, that questioning of your sanity and that over-eagerness to interpret something, anything in a positive light is what dealing with the occult has been for me. This is the first movie that reflects that experience.

Being a movie, shit does eventually happen but it is a sideshow to the tension between Sophia and Solomon. This ritual requires honesty and trust and neither are saints. There is a betrayal that made me lose all sympathy for one of the characters but it is also the kind of betrayal you see too much in the occult community.

I wish I could tell you about the ending but much like the ritual they perform in the movie, it is best seen after you put in the work of watching the movie.

Oct 182017
 

Find a deserted place. It can be an empty house, a quiet field or a parking lot long abandoned. Wherever you choose, there must not be a soul, living or unliving around.

On Halloween night, go to your deserted place and pull down your pants or lift your skirt. If you are wearing underwear, pull it down. If you are not wearing underwear at all, even better.

Now bend over and recited the following.

Black Scarecrow, Black Scarecrow,
I am waiting for you.
Black Scarecrow, Black Scarecrow,
I know you want me too.
Black Scarecrow, Black Scarecrow,
I’m ready as you can see.
Black Scarecrow, Black Scarecrow,
Please come enter me.

If you are lucky, you will feel only the cold October wind. But if your pussy is wet, or if lacking a pussy, your ass looks tight, then you might hear the crackle of dry leaves in a sack. You will feel the tip of a monstrous member pushing deep inside you. You will feel the grip of his itchy hands as he grabs hold of your waist. You will feel the thick phallus fill you completely and push you to your very limits. You will know the punishing thrusts as the Black Scarecrow pounds you.

Don’t look back! The sight is not meant for mortals. It is better to look straight ahead as the terrible creature uses you for his hideous lust.

It will hurt. It will feel good. You will scream. You will come.

The Black Scarecrow will come inside you but his tainted seed will not take root. Once his six balls have emptied inside of you, he will pull out and his hands will release you. It is common for most people to fall to the ground at this point.

The monster will be gone but beware. He has known your body and next Halloween, if not enough people go to a deserted place and whisper his chant, then he may return to your familiar hole to relieve his terrible lust.

Whispers from Suckubeth by Anonymous.

 

Oct 172017
 

Amanda Clover is one of, if not the best interactive erotica writer around today. She writes great stories with meaningful choices on various subjects and kinks. She has secured her place among the greats with her interactive fiction but she also writes the Princess to Pleasure Slave series where women in fantasy world settings get dominated, seduced, mind controlled and fucked silly by just about every monster you can think of. Her abundance of talent is deeply unfair to the rest of us.

Escape the Island of Eldritch Lust combines both of her talents like chocolate and peanut butter.  You play Penelope, a scribe and scholar who needs to leave her comfortable life to go rescue her monster hunting mother and sister. You travel to a dread island where a Dark God is stirring and every damn corner hides a terrible insatiable monster of some kind or another. You are not that good with a sword and pistol, but luckily you have some magic and a nerd’s love of knowledge.

This book is huge. Just getting to the island will take awhile. Once on the island, you will engage an epic adventure that would fill a campaign in a tabletop role-playing game. It took me about a week to get to the end and that was just in one play through. Looking at the outline, I see that there are three major branches I didn’t even touch on. It is a giant of a book.

Like a previous book, Dungeon of the Monster Breeder, you are often given the same five choices for monster encounters. These are Wait, Parley, Magic, Fight and Surrender. The familiarity of these choices give the book the feeling that you are playing a tabletop game. The Surrender option almost always triggers your defeat which is really nice to have when you are just curious about the worse that could happen in an encounter. It is a nice system and one that is easy for the player to pick up on.

Needless to say, this is an amazing book. If you like interactive fiction or cute girls getting dominated by monsters, then you have to own this book.

 

 

Oct 162017
 

Halloween costumes that are sold in stores are notoriously for falling part as the night goes on. Many a poor man or woman have been enjoying themselves in public when their outfit tears in such a way to expose themselves to friends and strangers alike. People tend to blame their humiliating exposures on cheap costumes and drunken adventures.

Few people know that the source of their accidental nudity is because of creatures known as Enfies.

Enfies are magical entities that lurk in some distant outer plane of existence. They rarely come to Earth unless but on Halloween, when the veils between words are at their weakest, Enfies cross freely into our world to work their mischief. While here, an Enfie is invisible and formless but they are still able to affect the world with their telekinesis and psychic vampirism.

Enfies feed on the psychic energy of other people’s sexual embarrassment. To provoke this feeling, the Enfie will use their telekinesis to ruin a Halloween costume. Skirts will ride up, zippers will come undone, panties will tear, shorts will drop and tight tops will pop open. The costume will come part at the worse moment for the victim for maximum embarrassment.

There is only one known defense from an Enfie’s attention. If a person feels that an Enfie may be nearby, they should immediately expose themselves to a stranger as soon as possible. This should satisfy the Enfie enough that they will move on to a more unsuspecting target. It is unfortunate that the victim is subjecting themselves to embarrassment, but at least they get to keep their costume intact.

Whispers from Suckubeth by Anonymous.

Oct 132017
 

Halloween is a special time of the year. It is a time for creepy fun, spooky chills and sexy monsters. As far as I am concerned, Halloween is a month long party that maybe doesn’t end until Christmas day. Every party needs music and here is my personal playlist for my favorite holiday.

  1. This is Halloween from the Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack.
  2. Psycho Killer by The Talking Heads.
  3. Two Big Pumpkins by Elvira.
  4. Walk Like a Zombie by the Horror Pops.
  5. Swamp Witch by Jim Stafford.
  6. Nightmare on My Street by DJ Jazzy smith and the Fresh Prince.
  7. Theme from John Carpenter’s Halloween.
  8. Nature Trail to Hell by Weird Al.
  9. Halloween by Aqua.
  10. Theme from Tales From the Crypt.
  11. Creepy Doll by Johnathan Coulton.
  12. Wolf Like Me by TV on the Radio.
  13. We’re Out For Blood by Marian Call.
  14. Dragula by Rob Zombie
  15. (Party at the) House on Haunted Hill by the Rifftones.
  16. Marty Beller Mask by They Might Be Giants.
  17. Halloween by Stephen Lynch.
  18. Drinkin’stein by Sylvester Stallone.
  19. The Killing Moon by Echo and the Bunnymen.
  20. Mistress of the Dark by Ghoultown.
  21. Halloween (Remix) by the Coffinshakers.
  22. The Monster Mash by Bobby Pickett
Oct 122017
 

Cherry Delight is a secret agent who works for N.Y.M.P.H.O. (The New York Mafia Prosecution and Harassment Organization) as a combination call girl/assassin. She’s a hot chick with red hair, giant boobs and a high sex drive. Her vaginal muscles are also impossible to escape. She fights the Mafia during the dangerous free sex era of the 1970’s.

You may be wondering why in the world would I recommend such a piece of dated sleaze? The anwser is that the writer, Glen Chases, is actually a pseudonym for superstar writer, Gardener F. Fox. This is the man who created and wrote many of the comic book characters of the Golden and Silver Ages of comics. He also wrote a ton of pulp books including one of my favorite Conan knock-offs, Kothar. He is a fantastic writer who knows how to keep a plot moving and he has creativity and innovation to spare, even when writing spy porn like this.

Not only was this book fun to read, but it had a few surprising qualities that set it apart from most action-porn of the era. For one thing, there wasn’t a rape scene. Sleaze of this time period always had rape scenes of one kind or another but the closest we get in this book is Cherry tricking two of her captors into having sex with her while she is at their mercy. There is also an emphasis on foreplay that surprised me as mobsters and henchmen spend a lot of time making sure women are turned on before sex scenes. Although it is technically a porn book, the action scenes are top notch and the plot was mostly believable.

Best of all, this book was a fun breezy read that I finished in a single day. Cherry Delight paperbacks can be pricey to find but if you like erotic pulp like I do, this one is worth the price. Fortunately, this book has recently been released on Kindle at a reasonable price. I hope this means they will do the entire series.