“Thank you for coming, Dr. Wei,” Dr. Pedwick said. “You come highly recommended for your skills and your discretion.”
Sexual Archeologist Kimberly Wei smiled. “I am always happy to help the High Museum. When we have time later, I would love to browse your collection of Folk Pornography.”
Dr. Pedwick frowned. He also looked disapprovingly at Kimberly’s expansive cleavage. “I am sure something can be arranged, though we prefer to call it Folk Sexual Expression.”
“Of course,” Kimberly said. She decided to release her long black hair from her bun to see if that would upset him too. Her silky hair flew around her head as she gave it a casual toss.
“Let’s go right to the problem, shall we?” Dr. Pedwick said. He turned around and hurried to the basement stairs.
Kimberly suppressed a smile and moved quickly to keep up. “I heard you discovered that the artifact in question has a secret inside?”
“It has several,” Dr. Pedwick said. He unlocked the basement door and led her through twisting corridors of shelves. “We recently x-rayed the artifact along with the others in the collection. We were surprised to discover that the interior was filled with gears and mechanisms that were baffling to understand. Even more interesting was that a scroll appears to be secured inside the artifact. It became obvious that what we thought was a curiosity was in fact a sort of puzzle box.”
“I have cracked a few puzzles in my time,” Kimberly said. Dr. Pedwick froze in his tracks. “And left them intact of course.”
“Good,” Dr. Pedwick said as he resumed walking. He had gone pale for a moment. “I don’t need to remind you that this artifact is priceless and belonged to one of the most important men in history.”
“And yet it might never be shown in an exhibit because of the prudishness of museums and their sponsors,” Kimberly said.
Dr. Pedwick ignored her entirely accurate observation. “Here we are,” he said. He unlocked another door and led them into a small room.
Sitting on a table under a single light was the artifact. It was a foot tall and covered in small metal scales. Two heavy balls formed the base of the artifact that leaned ever so slightly to the left. The tip was as wide as Kimberly’s gasping mouth. Two chairs sat to the side, waiting to be used.
“Da Vinci’s Cock,” she whispered.
“We prefer the term, Da Vinci’s Penile Facsimile,” Dr. Pedwick said.
Kimberly laughed. “Of course. Alright Doctor, I can take it from here. You may go. I will let you know if I unlock it.”
Dr. Pedwick made a face. “I thought I would be assisting you.”
Kimberly shook her head. “I work better alone. Besides, what would your colleagues think if they found out you assisted a sex archeologist?”
“Quite true,” Dr. Pedwick said. “Very well. Be sure to use the gloves in the box there and observe strict handling protocols. It is a priceless artifact.”
“And a pretty cock,” Kimberly said.
Dr. Pedwick made another face and left. The door clicked behind him.
“Be sure to use the gloves,” Kimberly mocked. “I’ve been on more digs and sites than he ever has!” She pulled out the latex gloves and put them on with a simmering fury.
After the gloves were on, Kimberly picked up Da Vinci’s Cock. It was heavy. The metal scales covered it from balls to tip. She tried pressing on a few of the scales and felt a little give. Yes, there were definitely some pressure points.
She tried a few twists like the kind that opened First Emperor’s Chastity Cage. That didn’t work.
She tilted the cock from side to side to see if counterweights would unlock it like it did with Madam Curie’s Radium Vibrator. That didn’t work.
She tried pressed the cock around the shaft to see if there was a secret button like there was on George Washington’s personal handcuffs. That didn’t work.
Kimberly frowned. Well, she didn’t expect it to be easy but it was always nice when it was. She set the cock down on the table and took a seat on a chair.
The cock leaned proudly on the table. The scales caught the light like a phallic disco ball.
Kimberly reached out and cupped one of the balls. They were larger than real life but still exquisitely shaped. It took a craftsman like Leonardo to make balls this realistic.
There was a click from the cock. Kimberly froze, her palm still cupping the ball.
“Hmm,” she said. She put her other hand to work cupping the other ball. Nothing happened.
Kimberly carefully rubbed the two large balls. She could feel the cold metal through her gloves but she was gentle as if she was rubbing flesh. She closed her eyes and imagined that both balls were warm and soft as she rubbed.
She opened her eyes. It was hard to tell, but the cock looked like it was a little bit straighter. She kept rubbing the balls to see if she could create any more clicks.
Kimberly let go of the balls and reached for the shaft. She got a firm grip and tugged it across the table towards her.
“Oh, you liked that?” she asked the cock. She tightened her grip and slowly stroked down the length of the cock.
“You are a dirty puzzle cock, aren’t you?” Kimberly asked. She tugged up the cock all the way to the tip.
She tugged back down. Nothing happened. She stroked back up. Nothing happened. She quickened her pace and pumped the cock a few times. Nothing.
Leonardo Da Vinci was a master of many things but people were hung up on his drawings and his secret codes about who was married to whom. They overlooked his other skills like his unparalleled work in pressure plates and mechanism sensitivity. Kimberly had a thought on what she needed to do next.
“Oh, just like a man. They are always greedy.”
Kimberly leaned forward. She was glad that Dr. Pedwick wasn’t here. He would lose his shit.
She opened her mouth and her tongue darted out. She gave the tip of the metal cock a single lick.
Kimberly smiled and licked again, this time under the rim of the cock’s tip.
Kimberly kept licking. She licked the slit of the cock’s head. She took a long loving lick of the perimeter of the cock’s tip. She stretched her mouth and managed to get the tip of the cock into her mouth.
Click. Click. Click.
Now she was sure that the cock was moving. It straightened and no longer leaned to the left. The girth increased ever so slightly.
Kimberly kept licking. She ran her tongue down the length of the cock. She planted little kisses on the large balls. She nibbled her way back up the cock’s tip, her teeth biting ever so gently.
Click. Click. Click.
The metal cock wasn’t the only thing changing. Kimberly’s sex was damp. There was a heat between her legs that was responding to the genius of the cock’s crafter. She wished that she was sucking Leonardo’s real cock but this would do.
A gloved hand undid her pants. She shifted as she slipped latex covered fingers down past her panties, down past her trimmed bush and down into her sex.
Kimberly groaned onto the cock.
She opened her mouth as wide as she could and tried to take the cock into her mouth. It was too big. She choked on it as her lips struggled. Spit ran down the sides.
Click. Click. Click.
She plunged her fingers in and out of her sex. She imagined Leonardo looking down on her as she sucked his cock. She pictured his cock growing to immense sizes within her mouth. She fantasized about the groans he would make. Her fingers made wet squishy sounds in the secured basement room.
Squish. Squish. Squish.
Kimberly stopped trying to swallow the cock and instead showered it with kisses. Wet lips rubbed against the head of the cock. Her darting tongue traced facsimiles of veins in the metal shaft. Hot breath washed over the straightening artifact.
Click. Click. Click.
She stopped kissing the cock and pressed it to her cleavage. The heavy cock was slick from her spit. She stroked herself faster as she enjoyed the weight of the metal cock. Her mouth opened her tongue licked the tip as it nestled between her tits.
Squish. Squish. Squish.
The cock expanded in size. The metal scales shifted as she kept licking. Kimberly’s fingers rubbed harder against her clit. Her long black hair fell on the balls and a hinge appeared on the cock. The seat shook as Kimberly fingered herself.
Click. Squish. Click. Squish.
One long suck on the head of the cock and a panel opened. Kimberly kept sucking as a small rolled up scroll fell out of the cock. She trembled as a wave of triumph swept over her followed quickly by an orgasm deep in her sex.
Kimberly moaned. With shaking hands, she pushed the cock away from her mouth. It shined with her spit. With trembling fingers, she pulled her fingers out of her sex. They glistened with her juices.
She pulled her gloves off and put on new ones. Still breathing hard, she reached across and picked up the scroll. She carefully unfolded it to see what Da Vinci had hidden away all these years.
It was a small sketch. The famous face of the Mona Lisa looked back at Kimberly, as well as her bare breasts, wide hips, hairy bush and the deeply embedded metal cock inside of her. Kimberly was amazed. Somehow she had managed to get that monster metal cock inside her.
“Certainly explains the smile,” Kimberly said.