Jun 252010

Tomorrow will be my one year wedding anniversary with my wife. Time flies when you are having a blast. Because it is my blog, I want to waste your time going over a few reasons why I adore my wife.

When we watch a movie where someone’s blood gets on another person, she loudly screams “Bio-hazard!”

My cat Emma is 18 years old and has been pretty bitchy for all 18 of them. Emma has not exactly warmed up to my wife but damn if my wife doesn’t keep trying.

When we play House of the Dead, I never take any damage because she always shoots the monsters threatening me first.

When we go on vacations, the woman is a packing machine. It is like playing Oregon Trail with a cheat code.

Her breasts are to die for. That is a completely selfish reason to love someone but damn. Golden, brown and delicious.

She saw Six String Samurai in the theater.

There is no one more fun to watch real murder documentaries with.

We have nearly identical tastes in mockery.

She is a monster slaying killing machine in Arkham Horror.

I dragged her to see the Death Race remake and she has never held that against me.

When sales for ‘Cell Phone Slave’ were disappointing, she cheered me out of a black depression.

Ditto when Volleyball Island Madd-ness did not set the internet on fire.

She insists that she carried our kitten around in her belly for nine months and gave birth to it. You have to love that level of dorky crazy.

She gets along with my parents better than I do. Fuck, you know how nice it is that someone else can call my mom and find out what soap opera is happening now?

So here’s to my wife. She has made me a happier person and she has made me a better writer.