Apr 102009

Why yes, I have nothing to post today. How could you tell?

The Dalek Chicks are three adorable cosplayers who give me hope for costuming again. Seriously, that is damn cute.

Work has been insane. Man was not meant to work 12 hour shifts from home. Dinner is that magical time when I can escape the office, eat something with a fork and then return to my command center. We’re doing this very important non-disclosure thing that amps up our workload for an intense month and a half. Since I am middle management, I’m the guy who tries to keep exhausted employees working when I want to run away from it all and join a folk band.

My folk band would basically rip off Michael Hurley songs but it would be awesome by the way.

I’m pretty proud of Easter Hunt, the story with no comments below me. It’s a mean, bitter story about a submissive suffering through an awful holiday themed kinky event. I violated one of my rules of Holiday Stories but not making it a happy story. Who knows, Easter may come and my story will be on a million web pages. Weirder shit has happened.

While slaving away for the Man, I have snuck out to start a Blip FM page. I haven’t uploaded some of my more personal favorite songs yet, but check it out. I have a Marvin song you must hear, as well as ‘Paint the Line’, my favorite pseudo 80’s song that never was. I might not have time to write but I don’t know, picking songs for you to listen to seems like a creative outlet. Maybe I should run away and become a folk singing DJ.

Thanks for sticking with the blog as I go through this horrific low content period.

Mar 242009

Sometimes when Shon is especially cruel, he makes me sing Darlene’s part in the Dewey Cox song, ‘Duet’. The song is a juvenile sex obsessed parody of country music which means it makes Shon laugh every time. Please share in my humiliation by listening.

Feb 132009

I want to tell you about my girlfriend. She’s funny, she’s sweet, she’s both insecure and very confident at the same time. She’s pretty, she’s smart and she loves murder mysteries. She also sings Willie Nelson like she means it, which isn’t easy to do. She saw ‘Six String Samurai’ in the theater and watches ‘Deadwood’ at home. She thinks I am a sadistic mother fucker and she thinks that’s a good thing.

It’s been a year since my divorce. I feel like I have aged ten years as a person in that time. I’ve learned to like myself and I’ve learned to trust myself, which are two things I didn’t even know I had lost. I love myself too much to not marry this wonderful girl. I’m fucking 35 and that is too long to have been without this woman.

Being a cerebral type, I didn’t realize this until I heard Gnarls Barkley’s ‘Blind Mary’. The first time I heard it, I loved it. It’s simple but aren’t the best love songs simple? The song rattled around in my head and I kept singing it to myself. It was the only song I knew that captured the feelings I was going through. She doesn’t know that I am ugly.

And one morning, I came out of the shower and walked into the bedroom. My girlfriend was awake but still in bed. I was still singing but I had substituted her name for Mary.

And I sang to her,

I lo-ve Mary,
Blind Mary marry me.
I lo-ve Mary,
Blind Mary marry me

The pure joy on my girlfriend’s face was beautiful. “Are you asking me to marry you?”

“Yes,” I said quickly. It wasn’t my intention at the moment but what the Hell. You learn not to pause in moments like these. “Yes I am.”

Jul 262008

The Red Elvises are one of those things that I completely irrational about. I love these guys and have all their albums. I listen to them when I am blue, when I am happy and when I just want to dance. I also think they make great music to listen to when you are rewriting stories, which is what I am doing today.

Jul 062008

My long story is finished. Well, the first draft is finished. I still have rewriting to do and editing and other bits of work. I think first drafts are a lot like getting your lover naked: you have a lot to be happy about but you still have to do something with it all.

I have bitched about this story non stop and now that it is over I feel a little sad. I love these characters and I don’t know when I will see them again. This story works for them and I can’t imagine what kind of future story they could serve in. I’m going to miss them.

So since I am feeling tired, drained and all melancholy, you get Kate Bush. Did you know she put out an album in 2005? Cripes, I should be notified of these things.

Jan 182008

Let’s start the weekend early. I have a crap load of work to do and my new story needs the kind of editing you can only do on the weekend. As always in times of trouble and despair, I turn to Kylie Minogue. Her polished dance beats, her international sexuality and Technicolor hair makes me feel all funky in my good places.

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Nov 012007

What a wild and crazy ride that was. I had a friend buy a new car yesterday and then spend the rest of the day freaking out because it was her first brand new car ever. Atlanta traffic was more horrible than ‘Hostel 2’. My wife had a near nervous breakdown because of work and spent the night being upset. Wohoo! The fun never ends around here.

Tonight I am running away from home with said wife on our 11th wedding anniversary. I *might* be back Monday. It depends on how many hot hitchhikers we pick up along the way. 11th Anniversary is celebrated with threesomes, right?

So instead of actual content, I will direct you to other places so you don’t get too bored. Yes, I am delegating entertainment to other blogs but it’s cool cause it’s the holidays.

Kevin is a very funny guy on most days but this is by far my current favorite right now. Click and read Samuel L. Jackson’s Young Reader Line.

Once you’re giggling, then head over to Will Pfiefer’s X-Ray Spex and read his very comprehensive Horror Movie Marathon. Find some good movies to watch instead of ‘Saw’, okay? You deserve it.

Do you like H.P. Lovecraft? Do you want to see the very best in current Lovecraft writing? Then you have to read Footnotes to a Species Once Called Humanity. His ‘Trois Freres’ series is making me get off my ass and do some serious writing.

If all this fictional horror is starting to bore you, then go over to Atlanta Water Shortage and watch an ecological disaster happen in real time. Wohoo!

Now that you are shell shocked, confused and maybe whimpering, your mind is finally ready for the glory that is Cobra Starship.