Jan 252013

Sometimes I just don’t have that creative spark. I am bored with myself, bored with writing and probably bored with life. In these dull moments of sterility, I turn to Professor Elemental. For those who don’t know, Professor Elemental is Britain’s greatest rapping steampunk inventor eccentric.It is impossible to listen to him and not have a new greatest idea. Better yet, he makes me smile and that is as precious as gold.

Fortunately for me, Professor Elemental has a new album out. “Father of Invention” has done the impossible and that is be better than his first album, “The Indifference Engine”. This album covers the usual weirdness like making a robot bride, creating ice cream from animals and apologizing for being British. He also sings the greatest song ever about owning a horse, a cautionary tale about going into the attic where all the old inventions are stored and an insightful essay about comedy, rapping and music. Best of all, he has a wonderful rap battle with long time nemesis, Mr. B that is a tribute to both of their skills.

I listen to a lot of silly music. Often the ambition of the musicians outshines the talent of the musician. Clever jokes are nestled in so-so music. Some musicians try to excuse poor workmanship by saying their music shouldn’t taken seriously in the first place. That isn’t the case with Professor Elemental. The music is top notch. The lyrics tell a story that fit with the beats. He applies the same level of craft as top billboard names. Heck, I would be willing to argue that he applies more craft because he loves what he does.

The Professor also has a one-shot comic book that is a delight and if that isn’t enough, he now has a youtube series about his adventures. He is becoming the total package of entertainment.

Jun 082012

I’m busy writing.  I am on chapter 13 of my possibly 15 chapters Haunted House novella.  Being so close to the end of a novella is freaking exciting.  It is all haunted house all the haunted time in my haunted head right now.

Which means I got jack shit that is new to post today.  I do have a new favorite band and as you well know, this is very important.  Heavy Young Heathens is my new obsession and I listen to their entire album about twice a day.  I am sure they will be my all time favorite band until the next new thing I get obsessed with.  In the meantime, enjoy the song that got me into them.

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Dec 292010

No story this week. I toyed with doing a fan fiction piece but saner heads prevailed.

Instead I would like to present ‘Invisible Light’ by the Scissor Sisters since I wish I had created it. Watch it pretend that it was taken directly from my brain.

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Nov 292010

Professor Elemental is a rapper who raps about normal every day life. You know, things like giant airships, combining animals and humans, exploring distant lands and his orangutan servant. He is what you can call a steampunk rapper except unlike 90% of most indie rappers, he actually has wonderful production values and great music.

Warren Ellis posted this video a few weeks ago and I loved it. I bought the album and it has been playing in my car ever since. My wife loves it as well and we have a pretty good duet going when it comes to ‘Fighting Trousers’. You owe it to yourself to buy his album, ‘Indifference Engine’ at Professor Elemental.com

There is a lot to praise about Professor Elemental but I think the highest praise I can give him is that he made me jealous. Even though I write about sex, mad scientists and pirates, he seemed to be having a little bit more fun. I took that lesson to heart and renewed my dedication to writing about any crazy shit I want to make myself happy.

Nov 082010

‘Music For Supervillains’ is a CD for the special villainous soul in your life. Crafted by the Consortium of Genius and selling for the criminal low price of $9.99, this CD contains a bunch of songs for every evil personality in your confused brain. The CD tells the story of the Consortium of Genius and their rather pathetic failures in the area of zombie creation. In between failures, they segue into songs in the styles of country, metal, lounge songs etc. In other words, it is some crazy shit.

I downloaded the CD because hey, music for supervillains, and I have to say that I was a little unimpressed at first. It won me over however with it’s rather fearless commitment to jokes I would have given up on long ago. There is something wonderfully cheesy about the whole affair that requires the listener to have a drink and chill out. It is like a super extended Mystery Science Theater 3000 skit. I have a feeling that these people would be awesome to see on stage and after a bit, I found myself tickled by their crazy humor. It just goes to show that commitment to a crazy idea can overcome anything.

They are a comedy group but they are also quite good musicians. Some of the songs are just umm, genius. ‘Zombie Apocalypse Barbecue’ is going on my next road trip. ‘Mallet of Metal’ brings a tear to my jaded Dungeons and Dragons soul. I really have to give some special praise to ‘Everybody Dies (But Me)’ as it may be my favorite Femme Fatale song of all time.

As a guy who writes erotic stories about a mad scientist, I recognize that this band has the same insane commitment to their pet project. The wonder of the internet makes it possible to share in their hallucination. Give their album a try at CDBaby at this link here.

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Apr 102009

Why yes, I have nothing to post today. How could you tell?

The Dalek Chicks are three adorable cosplayers who give me hope for costuming again. Seriously, that is damn cute.

Work has been insane. Man was not meant to work 12 hour shifts from home. Dinner is that magical time when I can escape the office, eat something with a fork and then return to my command center. We’re doing this very important non-disclosure thing that amps up our workload for an intense month and a half. Since I am middle management, I’m the guy who tries to keep exhausted employees working when I want to run away from it all and join a folk band.

My folk band would basically rip off Michael Hurley songs but it would be awesome by the way.

I’m pretty proud of Easter Hunt, the story with no comments below me. It’s a mean, bitter story about a submissive suffering through an awful holiday themed kinky event. I violated one of my rules of Holiday Stories but not making it a happy story. Who knows, Easter may come and my story will be on a million web pages. Weirder shit has happened.

While slaving away for the Man, I have snuck out to start a Blip FM page. I haven’t uploaded some of my more personal favorite songs yet, but check it out. I have a Marvin song you must hear, as well as ‘Paint the Line’, my favorite pseudo 80’s song that never was. I might not have time to write but I don’t know, picking songs for you to listen to seems like a creative outlet. Maybe I should run away and become a folk singing DJ.

Thanks for sticking with the blog as I go through this horrific low content period.

Mar 242009

Sometimes when Shon is especially cruel, he makes me sing Darlene’s part in the Dewey Cox song, ‘Duet’. The song is a juvenile sex obsessed parody of country music which means it makes Shon laugh every time. Please share in my humiliation by listening.