Apr 022012
 

Hot damn, my science fiction book, Violatrix, is finally available for purchase. Holy shit, this one took forever. Two years ago I starting thinking about how cute it would be to write about a starship where the crew was more Ming the Merciless than Star Trek and after a long perilous journey, the book is finally here. Hell, before I went into surgery to get my giant nad removed, my last request to my wife was that if I died, to make sure that Violatrix book got published.

So what is it about? The Violatrix is a warship that seeks out new planets and new lifeforms to enslave for the wicked Queen Erishella. Captain Mitus Raz does his best to keep his crew in top fighting shape while also fucking them on the side. It is a crew where officers fuck those of lower rank and fuck over those of higher rank. They encounter a planet where the population appears to be submissive pain sluts who were waiting for the Great Ones to come back and enslave them. It seems too good to be true and yeah, it kind of is.

“Hey Shon, this sounds a lot like the Mirror Universe in Star Trek!” you may say. You’re right. I was greatly inspired by the Enterprise episodes that took place entirely in the evil universe. It occurred to me that I rather watch bad people who got laid than watch good people who flirt. Since I already had the Queen Erishella universe I figured that I would use her as a guiding point. Let’s face it, most of the best lines from the Flash Gordon movies comes from the bad guys. Bad guys are cool.

For the low price of 9.99$ you can buy the paperback version with the cool George Sportelli cover at Lulu. Buy the Lulu Version Here

For the lower price of 2.99 you can get the Kindle version from Amazon. Buy The Kindle Version Here

Aug 082011
 

I am deeply grateful for every person who buys one of my books. As a cheap bastard myself, I am deeply touched that people out there want to own something that I wrote. It blows my mind.

Which is why it breaks my heart when I get emails asking if I can sign a copy of their book. Print on demand means that the book isn’t actually printed till you buy it. I never see the book as it goes into the mail towards you. It also never occurred to me that anyone would want me to sign a book. Madness!

Here at the laboratory, we have finally come up with a solution. I will sign your book on a post-it note, mail it to you, and you can then tape or affix to your book in an appropriate place. It will require some assembly but hey, you have an authentic mark of my crappy handwriting on your porn book.

if you rather not receive things through the mail, I will scan the note and email you the jpeg so you can print and affix it yourself.

I will also happily send a note to people who buy an ebook that they can affix to wherever they like. I recommend the back of your iPad.

To participate, send me a request at shonrichards at yahoo and give me your address. Tell me also who I am writing it to, and let me know if you want a platonic note or a filthy note. I am a guy, I only have the two modes.

Aug 032011
 

Piper lifted the lid of her crate. There was no light down here in the hold of the ship. She stepped out of the crate and blended with the darkness. She had stopped wearing clothes as she could find nothing darker than her own native skin. The deep brown of her flesh merged with the wood tones of the ship.

She couldn’t see the sky but she could hear. The ship was getting quiet. A day’s work of sailing had passed and the early night of fucking was slowing down. Hammocks were being slung and crew members were going to sleep. A minimum crew would be on deck to keep an eye on the ship and steer the Wild Kiss through the night.

Piper crept out of the hold. Every night on the ship was a marvel to her. Born in Jamaica, she lived her life as a servant in a dirty tavern. No family to speak of, Piper had longed for escape from the cruel woman that took her in. Cleaning floors and serving grog was not how she wanted to live the rest of her life.

One day she made a run for it. She knew that she could join the escaped slaves in the forests but she had no desire to live in hardship. Piper went to the docks and looked for a ship that she could stow away on. All she needed to do was reach a port, any port, and she was sure that she could start a new life somewhere. Such was the optimism of youth.

It didn’t hurt that Piper was also very beautiful. She had always been short but in the last few years, her bosom had expanded and her hips had widened most fetchingly. Her black hair had taken on a shiny luster. Lips that always seemed too big were now giving her mouth a sensual pout that would make the whores of Paris jealous. Piper suspected her beauty could open many doors in a new place.

Her beauty was the reason for her hiding on board this ship of cutthroats and perverts. The Wild Kiss had a reputation for being a ship full of sinners and deviants. It also had a reputation for hitting every port in the Caribbean. Piper just had to wait her time and eventually the ship would stop somewhere rich and glorious like Santiago or Vera Amore.

In the meantime, Piper had to eat. With most of the crew asleep, it was safe for Piper to head towards the ship’s galley. There was always a pot of leftovers waiting to be eaten. As a small woman, Piper didn’t need much. A bowl for now and a bowl for later would hold her till tomorrow night.

That wasn’t the only reason Piper left her crate. The small woman was also terribly aroused. The ship’s hold was always dark and secluded, and many a trysting couple would come down here during the day. Pirates would fuck here often and sometimes upon the very crate that Piper was hiding in.

Most of the time, Piper would touch herself as they fucked. As the crate shook around her with the force of someone’s thrusts, Piper would furiously stroke between her legs till she was spent. By the time night fell, Piper couldn’t wait to leave her crate. She needed some real human contact, even if the people she saw were asleep.

She went to the galley first. She picked the lock on the door with practiced ease. The woman she had worked for stole from her guests all the time, and it was often Piper’s job to sneak into their rooms to open their lock boxes. After several weeks at sea, Piper could open the galley door in pitch darkness in less than a minute.

Inside she gorged on stew, a papaya and a small bit of wine. Refreshed, she stepped back out into the ship. Someone passed by at the end of the hallway but they paid her no glance. In the middle of the night, people were busy on their own business. A ship of thieves and pirates were too concerned with not being seen themselves to call anyone else out.

Piper slipped to above deck. She wanted to see the stars. The small woman went to her hiding spot to the aft of the ship. There, a tiny nook was small enough for her to sit in and watch the ocean.

The stars glittered in the ocean.

When she had her fill of the ocean air, Piper went back below decks. She sneaked her way into the areas where the crew slung their hammocks. A single lantern cast inadequate light. The swinging hammocks rocked with the ocean and Piper’s loins stirred at the sight of all that naked skin.

She paused by a crewman. His cock was erect. It was quite enormous and Piper was sure it would split her in two if it ever entered her. This must be the one called Ale Mug. Hiding in her crate, she had heard even the most wanton of pirates confess a fear of this legendary appendage.

She felt a hunger between her thighs. Piper had to touch it. There was no way that she could fuck it, but just had to know how it felt. It was too good of a chance to pass up.

As careful as a thief, Piper reached for the stiff cock. Her fingers wrapped around him as soft as the wind. She could feel the heat emanating from the massive manhood. She forgot herself and gripped his cock and admiration and affection.

Ale Mug groaned. His eyes fluttered and then closed. His nostrils flared.

Piper stroked him. Once, twice, three times her hand moved up and down his girth. She leaned over and gave the tip of his cock a small kiss.

Ale Mug kept sleeping, but now he was smiling.

Piper released his cock. Her own need was making it hard to walk. With her heart pounding, Piper rushed back to her hiding place. She had to slip around a couple kissing by the doorway but from there on, she was free.

She slipped into her crate. Her cunt was wet and ready for her touch. In the darkness and solitude, Piper brought herself to climax within seconds.

Piper dreamed of giant cocks and clear skies.

~~~

“I found you, you little sluthole!” a voice boomed.

Piper was pulled out of her hiding place by her hair. She opened her eyes to see a ragged looking parrot. It was riding the shoulders of swarthy Portuguese man.

“I knew we had a stowaway!” the man yelled. “Well, the cook knew and kept fucking bugging me about missing food, but that means I fucking knew. And now I finally fucking found you, you little naked scamp!”

“Fuck her in the mouth!” the parrot cried.

Piper gasped with lust.

“That is a good idea, Pussy,” the pirate said. “But the Captain decides what to do with stowaways on this ship!”

He noticed Piper’s quizzical look. “The parrot’s name is Pussy. I wasn’t talking to you.”

“Oh,” Piper said, a little disappointed. “And what is your name?”

“My name is Mr. Fucks,” the pirate said. He wrapped her hair in his hand and pushed her towards the stairs. “March, wench! It is not every day I get to take a naked prize to the Captain.”

Her hair in his grasp, Piper had no choice but to go as he directed. Up the decks they went. They walked past a group of men who leered and cheered as her naked body walked by. They went past a group of women who shouted the most depraved offers of companionship. They marched past a smelly man who proclaimed her ass to be smoother than that of an Admiral’s.

Finally they reached the Captain’s quarters. Piper had never been inside before but often she had heard wild sounds coming from it at night. Her poor cunt was dripping with fear and anticipation. Mr. Fucks knocked once on the door and didn’t wait to be invited before he forced Piper through.

The quarters were far more luxurious than Piper could have imagined. A grand bed that belonged to a governor took up much of the room. Thick tapestries looted from merchant ships lined the floors. A painting of the Queen of Spain hung on a wall with some rather suspicious stains on her face. Gold and jewelry littered the floor.

Sitting at a desk was Captain O’Plenty. She wasn’t wearing a shirt although Piper wasn’t sure any shirt could possibly hold O’Plenty’s treasures. Her long blonde hair matched the gold necklace she wore as well as the flashy gold rings on her fingers. She was wearing a black skirt but she had her skirt pulled up to idly play with her cunt hair.

“I’ll be damned,” Captain O’Plenty said. “There really was a stowaway? I owe the Cook a long fucking.”

Mr. Fucks pushed Piper till she was a foot away from the Captain. The smell of O’Plenty’s cunt drifted over the Piper. She licked her lips.

“What is your name, girl?” Captain O’Plenty said.

“Piper, miss,” she said.

A sharp slap landed on her ass. Piper jumped as much as the grip on her hair would let her.

“Address her as Captain,” Mr. Fucks growled.

“My name is Piper, Captain,” she said. “I was named after the Sand Piper bird. Because I am so small, Captain.”

“Where was this Piper hiding?” Captain O’Plenty said.

“She was hiding in that crates of Bibles we had,” Mr. Fucks said. “I knew no good would come from having god damn Bibles on board.”

“Where are the Bibles?” Captain O’Plenty said. She was still playing with her cunt.

There was no answer till Mr. Fucks twisted Piper’s hair.

“I threw them overboard in the night!” Piper said. “I had to make room to hide, and I knew no one would be needing a Bible.”

Captain O’Plenty smirked. “Yes, except I was planning to sell that to a Jesuit monastery I know. Not only do you owe me the price of your passage aboard my ship, as well as the food that you have stolen, but now I find out that you destroyed cargo as well? You will owe me a lot of money, girl.”

Mr. Fucks ran his free hand down her shoulder. “She has the smoothest skin, Captain. This one has never worked outside. I’d wager her thighs are softer than a whore’s heart.”

“Spread your thighs!” the parrot cackled.

Piper spread her legs as far as she could while still standing.

Captain O’Plenty laughed. “It’s not the bird you should be listening to! So what shall I do with you? Should I make you work off your debt among the crew? Any other pirate ship would strap you to a hammock where everyone could take a turn at you. Or maybe I should strap you the mast where we can line up and take what we want from your body?”

“Captain, she be a trembling with fear!” Mr. Fucks said.

Piper was trembling but it wasn’t with fear. What Captain O’Plenty described sounded like heaven. In fact, it sounded much like the fantasies she masturbated to every night. She kept her face as neutral as possible so that they wouldn’t realize how much she desired the punishment that Captain O’Plenty might give her.

“Don’t worry, wench,” Captain O’Plenty said. “That is not how we do things here. No man or woman will ever be raped on my ship. We have too many willing cunts and cocks to ever force ourselves on someone. I just wanted you to know how lucky you are to be on such an enlightened ship.

“Oh, thank you,” Piper said without much conviction.

“No, we’ll put you to work somewhere,” Captain O’Plenty said. She was fingering her cunt a bit more energetically. Piper couldn’t stop looking at the Captain’s slick fingers.

“Maybe we could find a use for her,” Mr. Fucks said. “I mean, she is fucking pretty. She’s so nice and small, I could bounce her on my cock all day long. Let’s make a cabin girl out of her. She can polish your boots by day and polish your cunt at night.”

Piper tried to keep from smiling. Her hands came together in what she hoped was an unnoticed prayer.

“None of that talk, Mr. Fucks,” Captain O’Plenty said. “We’re not Captain RedBush, pressing innocent young women into oral service. Nay, she could work with the cook down in the galley. That would keep her away from most of the crew. She’ll earn her keep till we sail into port.”

Piper felt tears come to her eyes. Away from the crew? That would mean no cocks or cunts for her. Oh why, oh why couldn’t she have sneaked aboard Captain Redbush’s ship?

“Swallow it all!” the parrot cackled.

“Nay, Pussy,” Mr. Fucks said sadly. “The Captain is right. We may be a ship full of adulterers, thieves, killers and sodomites, but we ain’t no rapists. Come along, lass. I’ll introduce you to the cook.”

“No!” Piper screamed. She fell down to her knees and grabbed Captain O’Plenty’s foot. “Please, please let me serve you in any carnal way you desire! Give me to the crew or keep me to yourself, just please make use of me! I beg you!”

Captain O’Plenty looked at her in pleasant surprise. She did not stop stroking herself. The busty blonde did glance at Mr. Fucks.

“What do you think, Mr. Fucks? Is our stowaway that afraid of kitchen work or do you like she is a harlot?”

“Harlots do it twice!” the parrot said.

“I agree with Pussy,” Mr. Fucks said. “Just look at the stain she’s making on your rug. She damn near left a wet spot already.”

Piper looked down. It was true. The terrible punishments they had described were causing her cunt to flow. She must have been trickling down her thighs since Mr. Fucks first grabbed her.

Captain O’Plenty put her foot on Piper’s chest. Piper looked down the long muscular leg to the hairy cunt that the Captain was stroking. The heat between her own thighs became unbearable.

“Are you a harlot, girl?” Captain O’Plenty said. “A cabin girl would have to keep the place tidy, wait on me like a maid and warm my bed. She would also have to warm the bed of any man or woman I tell you to.”

“Suck my balls!” Pussy cackled.

“Yes, and you would be sucking Mr. Fucks’ balls,” Captain O’Plenty said. “You would be at his service as well, him being my right hand man and all. Do you have a problem with that? I mean, we can find you another job if you won’t want to work with the cook.”

Piper didn’t know how to answer. How could she possibly begin to explain how turned on she had been by listening to the crew fuck? How could she tell them that she wanted all the terrible things that they had threatened her with? She didn’t have the words to express herself at all.

Piper decided that words wouldn’t work at all. The young woman crawled as fast as she could to Captain O’Plenty’s cunt. The Captain laughed as the girl pushed O’Plenty’s wet fingers away. On her hands and knees, Piper put her face the Captain’s cunt. The Captain’s laugh turned to a groan as Piper licked in earnest.

The young woman had never licked a woman before but she knew what she liked. Piper took long deep licks of O’Plenty’s cunt, flattening her tongue against the woman’s lips. The Captain tasted like nothing Piper had ever had before, but she knew that she liked it. She pressed her face against the Captain’s cunt, letting her lips and tongue express what words could not.

“Aye, she is a harlot at heart,” Captain O’Plenty said.

Piper felt the Captain’s hand press against her head. The rings on the Captain’s fingers snagged against her hair. The Captain pulled Piper’s head tighter to the Captain’s cunt. Powerful thighs enclosed around Piper’s head, securing her to the place that she most wanted to be.

“Any woman can lick a cunt,” Mr. Fucks said. “Well, any woman who’s had a few drinks and maybe a Catholic upbringing, but still, that doesn’t make one a harlot.”

“What would that take?” Captain O’Plenty said.

Piper licked faster.

“Harlots love cock!” the parrot cackled.

“Pussy is right,” Mr. Fucks said. “A real harlot likes a cunt and a cock at the same time.”

“Is that true, girl?” Captain O’Plenty said. “How do you feel about a cock in that small cunt of yours?”

Captain O’Plenty hadn’t released Piper’s head to let her answer. Piper wiggled her hips as suggestively as she could. It must have worked because she soon felt strong hands grab her hips.

“Permission to come aboard,” Mr. Fucks said.

“Permission granted,” Captain O’Plenty said.

A large cock pressed against Piper’s tight sex. She tilted her hips as his glorious girth entered her. It wasn’t as big as Ale Mug but by God, she was happy to have it.

“Jesus Christ and his sodomite disciples!” Mr. Fucks said. “The harlot’s hole is wetter than the ocean!”

“Her mouth isn’t so bad, either,” Captain O’Plenty said.

They stopped talking. Mr. Fucks fucked while Piper licked. Captain O’Plenty added another hand to Piper’s head, locking her into an inescapable embrace. Piper was reduced to a mouth and a cunt. She was there to be fucked. She was there to lick. She was there to be used by the two most powerful people on the ship.

Piper climaxed. Her arms and thighs trembled but she stayed on her hands and knees. She moaned her orgasm into the Captain’s cunt but the pirates didn’t stop. This wasn’t about her pleasure.

Mr. Fucks fucked her cunt. After weeks of neglect, Piper finally had a thick cock stretching her tiny body. He was a little too big, a little too fast and a little too rough but it was all perfect. Piper was finally being fucked.

Captain O’Plenty’s cunt rolled under Piper’s mouth. The Captain humped Piper’s face with a passion that Piper recognized in herself. The Captain needed to climax. Piper felt a glorious feeling in knowing that she alone was bringing about the Captain’s pleasure.

Piper always suspected that she was a harlot at heart. There was many a night at the tavern that she had snuck into the rooms of male guests and fucked them in the darkness. She thought she did it to distract herself from her dreary life but now she knew better. Piper did it because she liked it.

Trapped between a cock and cunt, Piper realized that she liked this better. This was the job that she wanted. She wanted to be a mouth. She wanted to be a cunt. Maybe tomorrow, she’ll just be an asshole for someone. Or maybe a pair of tits or a willing hand. Piper’s heart was racing from the possibilities. She had no desire to be a pirate. She wanted to be a pirate’s possession.

Mr. Fucks growled. His seed filled her cunt and triggered new desire in her. The thrusting stopped as his cock emptied inside her.

Captain O’Plenty spent seconds later. Her hands pulled Piper’s ears as she thrust her cunt against Piper’s face. Piper couldn’t breathe as her mouth and nose were covered with cunt and flesh. She was going to die, she knew it. She was going to die with seed in her cunt and cunt in her mouth. Piper didn’t mind.

Piper’s head was released. She could breathe again. She took long gasping breaths but she stayed on her hands and knees. It felt natural here.

“It looks like you got yourself a Cabin Girl,” Mr. Fucks said.

“I think you are right,” Captain O’Plenty said. “Well get to work, harlot. This place is a fucking mess.”

“Yes, Captain,” Piper said. She started to rise to her feet. The Captain planted her foot on Piper’s shoulder and forced her back down to her knees.

“No, stay on your knees,” the Captain said. “That is your place now.”

Piper couldn’t have been happier.

To read more stories from Tales of the Wild Kiss, purchase a copy here.

Aug 012011
 

My latest book, ‘Tales of the Wild Kiss’ is now available for purchase on Lulu. For $9.99, you can get a nice paperback book and for $2.99 you can get a pdf that you can read on your scifi data pads.

What is ‘Tales of the Wild Kiss’? It is an anthology about events happening on a pirate ship during the Golden Age of Piracy in the Caribbean. The Captain is Kate O’Plenty, a fierce woman with big breasts and a bigger sexual appetite. The crew is made of men and women of different nationalities who fuck each other. There is also quite a bit of bloodshed, superstitions, drinking, cursing, bondage and more sex. Inside this book is twenty-one stories and three chanties. The chanties are in case you are ever aboard a raunchy pirate ship and you need a song to pass the time.

George Sportelli did the cover as well as several interior illustrations. Bridget and Daisy Danger combed through it and slaughtered as many typos as possible. I personally listened to the Monkey Island soundtrack, the Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack and some filk singers to create as authentic a mood as possible.

Purchase a copy of Tales of the Wild Kiss by clicking the handy button below.

Support independent publishing: Buy this book on Lulu.

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Jun 032011
 

Since I have more free time, I thought I would document my through process for my next book. I find the process of writing to be fascinating so I will try to share my thoughts just in case someone else does too. I will also avoid spoilers which might be tricky, but hey, I hate spoilers as much as I love process.

The Violatrix is a book set in Queen Erishella’s navy. Erishella is a cruel monarch who sends spaceships out to find new worlds to subjugate. The Violatrix is the name of a space ship where the story takes place.

My high concept description is “Star Trek if the crew followed Ming the Merciless.”

As much as I love star Trek, I don’t have an interest in doing a parody of it. The evil mirror universe in Star Trek is a big influence but I beleive it is better to create than to write fan fiction. When you create your own characters, your own rules and your own universe, than it is yours. No reader will ever say “I don’t beleive evil Kirk from a parallel universe would act that way!”

I also like the universe of Queen Erishella better. Using Flash Gordon as a jumping point, you start from a place of high adventure and space opera. Star Trek investigates and uses science. Flash Gordon fights a lot of half naked people while other half naked people are tied up. Queen Erishella uses science to get people naked and make them do terrible things while they have sex.

Sex is the big thing. I write erotica. Any story I do is going to be soaked in sex. Violatrix is a sexy ship that preys on lesser planets. The crew is a mix of dominant personalities and submissives. They fuck a lot. Fucking is worked into the process. The Captain is the King of Fucking and everyone envy his power. Betrayal and venom will be the fuel that this ship runs on. The reason this crew is the terror of the universe is because they sharpen themselves on trying to terrorize each other.

Which means I have potentially have a cast of unlikable characters. That could be a problem. This is where I think humor helps. The reason so few BDSM stories have humor is that it kills the deadly gothic tension that they are trying to build. I use humor all the time because I am a smart ass. I think humor will help keep this book from being a total bummer.

I also think that if every character is a bastard, then it become enjoyable to see them inconvenienced. I also want to give every dog their day, so that even the submissives who get abused take it out on someone else. Plus, they are a crew of perverts, so I think there will be a lot of situations where people are being taken advantage of and they are not complaining all that much. This might seem offensive in theory but in practice, it sometimes works. A ship full of bdsm science fiction can get a lot of leeway.

Which brings us to the plot. Plot A will be the Violatrix and the crew against a threat. This will be main plot. Plot B will involve two characters trying to assassinate the Captain. Plot C will involve two other characters trying to smuggle something on board for their own personal profit. That leaves three characters left over who will either be accomplices or obstacles for the characters in Plot B and C.

And fucking. So much fucking.

May 302011
 

This weekend I finished the last story for my pirate anthology. You have no idea how nice that felt. I originally wanted this book ready by May but reality and work kicked that idea in the nads. As I kept missing my own deadlines, I wondered if this was ever going to be written.

Which I think is an important lesson to all you amateur hobbyist writers out there – Don’t give yourself deadlines. It is good to have goals and a schedule but seriously, I beat myself up emotionally for deadlines and I am my own boss. What is up with that? You know what is a better deadline? Write it till it is good. That’s your deadline.

Speaking of good, one of my original goals was to have twenty-four stories set on this pirate ship. Why twenty-four? No good reason. It just seemed like a round fat number. Around story 18, I realized that I was about out of good ideas. I had four plots that were doable, but they were not exactly exciting. I started writing a few of them before I realized that they read like filler. I was trying to reach my own self imposed goal of twenty-four stories instead of just tying it up when I was out of good stories. Don’t pull a Shon and do that.

Once I decided to stop at eighteen stories, I came up with two more. For story nineteen, I recycled an old favorite of mine about a pirate named Lucky John. I rewrote it a bit and added him to the crew. I wanted to have only new stories for this book but screw it, this is a good story. It deserves a second read.

For my twentieth story, I hacked and whittled at an idea I had till it was a story as good as the other nineteen. I like it. It has an orgy. It centers on the Captain and is from her point of view, something I carefully avoided throughout the whole anthology. I like Captain Kate O’Plenty and I think you will too.

I would like to go on the record and say that my biggest regret with this anthology is that I never wrote a story for the cook of the ship. I had a few character ideas in mind but no story to go with it. BDSM cooks are a favorite of mine but in six months, I couldn’t come up with an angle that brought anything new to the genre. Oh well. Maybe now that the stories are written, my brain will relax and come up with an idea.

Just because the stories are written doesn’t mean they are done. I need to go back through each one and rewrite them so that all of the characters remain consistent from story to story. I also need to polish and fine tune the three sea shanties I had written and see if I have it in me to write the Pirate Code for the ship.

The funny thing is that after all this, it goes to my lucky charm proofreader, Bridget, and the real editing and rewriting begins.

In the meantime, I can start writing about another ship, this one set in space and where everyone is a Hell of a lot meaner.

The picture was drawn by Joe Gravel. The guy makes wonderful pirate sketch cards and I wanted something epic from him. He certainly delivered.

Apr 292011
 

Isaac Cox stood outside the headquarters of Right Thinking Publishing. In front of him was Jamaica Vegas’s car. He had tracked the crazed scientist to this location and Isaac had a bad feeling that he knew what she was up to. He had to get in there and stop her before it got out of hand. That was going to be tricky.

For one thing, Isaac was a six and half foot tall giant of ebony muscle. Because he was working, he was wearing his long black duster and matching bad-ass sunglasses. He wore a shirt and a tie underneath the duster but anyone looking at him could see how powerfully ripped he was.

“I do not look like a person who might have business with Right Thinking Publishing,” he muttered to himself. He debated trying to pass himself off as a delivery guy but ruled it out. As a bounty hunter, he had developed a sense for when to fake it and when to just go right in. Lately he had been favoring the go right in method. He suspected it had something to do with not getting laid for awhile. One doesn’t really meet a lot of nice people in this job.

He headed for the back. The telltale scent of tobacco told him where to go. These buildings might have great protection but security always looses out to workers on their smoke break.

It was a woman smoking. Isaac smiled. Women he could handle.

He took off his duster and folded it over his arm. He rolled up his sleeves to show as much of his biceps as possible. He broke into nice smile #80. That was the smile that made women feel like they were the prettiest girl in the entire strip club.

“Hey!” he said in his deep voice. “Oh man I am glad to see you!”

The woman stared at his arms. “Oh yeah?” she said. She took a long drag on her cigarette. Her eyes took in the rest of him and lingered. Isaac noticed that she tried to casually run her fingers through her short brown hair to make sure she was presentable.

“I think I left my badge in the office,” Isaac said. “Could you let me back in?”

He flashed innocent smile #4. That was the smile that told the ladies at the strip club that he was new at this and was so completely innocent that he might let them touch him a bit more than the club standards would allow.

“I haven’t seen you before,” the short brunette said. She stood a little straighter and pushed her breasts out a bit more.

“I just started,” Isaac lied. He took a stab in the dark and came up with a story. “They wanted me to help branch into African American markets.”

She took out the cigarette and frowned. “Really?”

Isaac wasn’t buying his own lie. He tried another tactic. “Oh yeah. Hey, has anyone ever told you that you look like a younger Sarah Palin?”

The woman beamed. “I do?”

Isaac nodded. “You both have that sexy smart look, you know? Oh, I better get back to work. Can you let me in?”

“No problem,” she said. “Just don’t steal anything.”

She meant it as a joke and Isaac laughed with her. “I’ll try!” he said cheerfully.

The woman pressed her badge against the door scanner and it unlocked. She tried to look casual as she did it but Isaac knew. Tonight the lady would be thinking of him sliding between her ivory thighs. He didn’t need a twenty stuffed into his g-string to know that.

“Thanks,” he said and moved into the building. He prided himself on not knocking the racist bitch out.

The first thing he did was put in the special ear plugs he had been given for this job. The earplugs looked transparent and when he put them in, he couldn’t tell any drop in sound. He just hoped they worked like they were supposed to.

“Now, if I was a crazy woman with a crazier weapon, where would I be?” Isaac asked himself.

He walked the halls. He put his duster back on because he knew he looked more intimidating that way. The trick to walking inside a place you don’t belong is to act like you belong. Isaac walked with purpose; as if he was late for a meeting and he did not have time for your bullshit, thank you very much.

Jamaica Vegas was a brown Hispanic woman so Isaac knew she would stand out in this crowd of white bread office workers. He peeked into doorways and open offices as he walked. He would already be at the next door before his brain would process what he glimpsed inside.

Two white guys talking around a water cooler.

One redhead talking on the phone.

An older guy working on his computer.

A guy and a woman kissing.

Two guys writing on a board.

A woman fanning herself with a folder.

Isaac frowned and paused. He peeked back into the room where the two guys were working on the board. They were drawing stick figures with giant breasts.

“Oh shit,” Isaac said. It was starting.

He walked faster. He walked past a man pressing his crotch against a copier as it printed pages. He passed another man talking on the phone while suggestively fingering a lamp. When he walked by two women kissing, Isaac knew his time was up.

“Hey baby,” a middle aged blonde said to him. “Want to come to my office?”

“No thank you, ma’am,” he said. “I am looking for a Hispanic woman. Have you seen her?”

The blond pouted. She reached for her blouse and ripped it open. Two enormous breasts were barely held in by her white bra. The purple tint was already appearing on her skin.

“Why do you want some Mexican slut when you can upgrade to white chocolate?” she asked.

“Wow, ma’am,” Isaac said. “Your racist argument is quite offensive on so many levels that I am not sure how to respond in a suitably nasty manner.”

The woman bit her lip. “You could punish me. Want to spank me? Want to force me to eat your huge black cock?”

Isaac shook his head. “Can’t you fuck a secretary like everyone else?”

“Great idea!” she said. “Lisa! Get your pretty mouth over here!”

Isaac kept walking. He reached an intersection of halls and looked each way.

“Where is she?” Isaac said out loud. It was a bad habit he was picking up. After working two years in a strip club, Isaac found that he hated silence. He started talking to himself just to have some noise.

That was when he saw her. She was at the end of the hall. She had long black hair pulled into a tight ponytail. Bizarrely, she was wearing the same white lab coat that she had on in the picture Isaac had of her. The scientist looked right at him and smiled at him.

“You’re too late!” she yelled.

Isaac reached into his duster. Twin chrome plated 45 revolvers appeared in his hands. They were heavy as shit but most people pissed themselves with fear when Isaac pointed them.

Jamaica Vegas didn’t even blink. She spun around and went into the staircase.

“Bitch has no idea how much I work out on the Stairmaster,” Isaac said. Although he wasn’t a stripper anymore, Isaac never gave up his fitness routine. Once you are a magnificent hunk of beefcake, it is kind of hard to let go.

Inside the stair well, Isaac could hear the clack-clack-clack of Dr. Vegas’s heels as she ran. He stuffed the guns back into his duster. Isaac took the stairs two at a time. As fast as he was, Dr. Vegas was faster. The fugitive managed to stay one flight of stairs ahead of him.

Dr. Vegas ducked into a door on the third floor. Isaac ran through the same door less than three seconds later. He burst through and promptly tripped over a five person orgy.

He fell to the ground and somebody crawled on top of him. Naked purple breasts pressed against his bald head. A large hand grabbed his ass. A mouth took his thumb and started sucking.

“Poor bastards,” Isaac moaned. It was too late for them. Their brains had been permanently altered into a state of perpetual lust. He guessed the earplugs worked after all. All he had to do now was make sure these people didn’t fuck him to death.

Isaac shrugged off the woman on his back. He kicked the guy grabbing his ass and backhanded the woman sucking his thumb. A man grabbed his pants and Isaac calmly punched him out. A woman clung to each of his legs and he casually slapped them off.

Once he was standing back up, Isaac really appreciated how fucked he was. The hallway was jammed with humping bodies. The smell of cock and pussy was everywhere. Isaac had never seen so many pale bodies fucking. At the end of the hall, he saw Dr. Vegas waving at him.

“Freeze!” he yelled. He ran after her. He jumped over one humping couple and shoulder blocked a guy masturbating.

“Check out the black stud!” Dr. Vegas yelled. “I bet he has a foot long cock!”

Every one of those humping fuckers turned and looked at Isaac. He was used to being the center of attention. He just wasn’t used to watching nearly a hundred people suddenly decide to give in to their forbidden lusts and fuck a black man. With a screaming howl of desire, the whorish horde came running at him.

A young woman barely in her twenties threw herself at Isaac. With one hand he grabbed her throat and threw her into a wall. A naked man grabbed him from behind and started humping his back. Two elbows from Isaac later and the man was unconscious on the floor. It was getting ugly fast.

Isaac looked back at the stairway door. It seemed a mile away with all the crazy fuckers between him and the door. With a sigh, he drew his guns back out.

The crowd didn’t even notice his guns. He fired a warning shot into the air and they still lunged at him. A fat man with a tiny cock jumped at Isaac and he was forced to shoot. The big man went down and Isaac’s hesitation faded away. It was going to be them or him.

“You best believe, it is not going to be me,” Isaac said out loud. He noticed that sounded pretty cool. He wished he had a partner who could appreciate his witty one-liners.

He placed his shots carefully. He might be strong but not even he could push past twenty people trying to fuck him. The fact that there was no cure did not make it any easier to shoot naked people in the chest.

There was a poster on the wall for one of the books they printed. It had a black man on the cover dressed in bad hip hop clothes. The title was ‘Are Blacks Holding America Back?’

It became a lot easier to shoot naked white people.

Step by step, Isaac made it closer to the door to the stairway. The pistols thundered in his hands as he fired. The kickback was a bitch and he knew his wrists would be killing him in the morning but he didn’t let up shooting.

“I want to go black!” a woman yelled from behind him. He turned around just in time to dodge her diving at his legs. She hit the ground hard and reached up for his leg.

“Please!” she cried. “I want that cock in my ass!”

“Get in line,” Isaac said.

He moved more carefully and kept an eye on his back. He was lucky that he didn’t get tackled by that woman. He had to stay on his feet and keep moving.

Two women came running at him. They were both topless and both of them were stacked. Their breasts bounced in synchronicity with each other. The four breasts almost hypnotized him as he watched.

He shook his head and opened fired. Their faces exploded at the same time too. Weird.

Isaac walked carefully and chose his targets. He didn’t let anyone sneak up behind him and it made for slow going. Step, shoot, turn, check, step and shoot again. At this rate it would be dawn before he got out of here.

“What I need is a partner,” he said to himself. “Some hot sexy woman that can cover my back while telling me how good my abs look.”

A thin old man with an erection hobbled towards him. The man’s erection was thicker than his pencil arms. Isaac conserved ammunition and merely punched the guy in his chest. The cracking of ribs would keep him down.

“And while I am on the subject,” Isaac continued to himself. “I need a woman who is secure in herself and doesn’t think I prefer other women to her.”

“I will give you everything you need!” a woman screamed at him.

“Aw, that’s sweet,” Isaac said. He punched her in the head rather than shoot her.

“And is it too much to ask for a woman who reads something other than damn vampire books?” Isaac yelled.

“I love porn!” a man yelled as charged Isaac.

Isaac nodded as he shot him. “We all do, man. I wish I could meet a girl who really likes porn and not just the artsy tattooed alternative shit.”

“Fuck me!” a woman screamed as she crawled towards him.

“Yeah,” Isaac said. He lowered his aim so he could get the crawling woman with one shot. “And I want a woman who tells me what she likes instead of hinting around and being all fucking mysterious.”

His way was blocked by five people fucking on the floor. On the one hand he was glad that they were more interested in their tangle of limbs than they were in attacking him. On the other hand, they were in his fucking way.

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

“But I don’t want a fucking doormat,” he said as stepped over the dead bodies. “I want a woman strong enough to tell me when I am being an asshole. I know I’m not perfect.”

“You are perfect to me!” a woman yelled. She had both hands between her legs as she ran. Isaac admired her coordination.

“It was easier to shoot you when you weren’t saying nice things about me,” he said as he shot her.

He kept talking to himself. He was closer to the door but he still had a way to go. If he stopped talking then he would start doing math. He would think about the minimum number of people it would take to hold him down. He would think about how few bullets he had left in his guns. If he started thinking about things like that, he would get a bit discouraged.

“Shit, all I really want is a partner that gets me, you know? Being an ex-stripper turned bounty hunter sounds like some sort of cheesy late night movie. I need a woman who thinks that shit is cool.”

He was ten feet away from the door when it burst open.

To be continued when you buy the book at Lulu.

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Apr 272011
 

“I’m not so sure I should let you in, Ma’am,” the security guard said.

“Aw,” Olivia Pussé said in that sad tone that melted the hearts of men. She didn’t say anything else out loud but she was thinking plenty to herself.

“Check out my awesome tits,” Olivia didn’t say. “Take a good look at my delivery girl uniform that is missing a few too many buttons at the top. Check out my long gorgeous blonde hair that you want to run your fingers through. Check out my pretty red lips you want around your cock. Check out my cool sunglasses that hint at mysteries and secret affairs. Check out my tight little waist that you want to put your hands around.”

“Just don’t notice the bulge in my pocket,” Olivia thought as she smiled for the security guard. “Don’t make me pull out my 38 caliber Island Hawk automatic pistol with custom hollow point rounds. Don’t check out the six inch knife I have strapped around my ankle. Do not under any circumstances guess that I have a homemade silenced Uzi in this box I am carrying.”

The guard kept looking at her impressive cleavage and seemed to be on the verge of making a decision. Olivia made it easy for him.

“Okay, I know I am supposed to leave the package at the front desk,” Olivia said.

“But I have been a big fan of Right Thinking publishing for a long time. I would love to see inside the offices where all the best books about conservative political philosophy are written! It makes my heart race just to think about it. Here, see?”

She took his hand and placed it on her chest. The fact that there was a breast between his hand and her heart was completely intentional. She didn’t think the guard needed to squeeze in order to feel her heartbeat but she let it slide.

“See how fast my heart is beating?” she asked.

“Oh yeah,” the guard said.

“And if you just let me deliver this package to the CEO personally, I would be so grateful,” she said.

“How grateful?” the guard asked. He squeezed again.

Olivia pulled her sunglasses down just enough so he could see her pretty blue eyes. “Very,” she said.

He pulled his hand away. “Go right in, ma’am. Take as long as you like. My lunch break is in two hours if you want to show your appreciation then.”

“Good, maybe I’ll have a bite too,” she said.

The guard was checking out her ass as she walked by. That was fine. As long as he was looking at her tight ass, he wasn’t paying attention to the grim smile on her lips.

Now it was time to find the bitch that killed her father.

She was alone in the elevator. The time it took to go up four floors was barely a minute. For Olivia that was plenty of time to think. She thought about her father, John Pussé, a private eye who had been hired to find a runaway teen. Olivia didn’t know how her dad tracked the teenager down to a Dr. Jamaica Vegas but when he did, Dr. Vegas put four bullets in his chest.

Olivia bit her lip as she tried not to think of what Dr. Vegas did next. She couldn’t though. The coroner Olivia sucked for the report was very clear on what had happened. Dr. Vegas had shot Olivia’s father and then sat on his face as he died. Judging from the large amounts of sexual fluid on his face, Dr. Vegas more than likely climaxed. The crazy slut had facefucked Olivia’s father to death.
A bitch like that has to pay.

The elevator doors opened. Olivia stepped out and looked around. Posters of published books decorated the hallway. Olivia smirked as she read each title.

‘Black Helicopters of the Chinese Mexican Alliance’

‘Welfare Millionaires’

‘Evolution: The Plot of Satan’

‘The Hollywood Abortion Conspiracy’

It was the last place Olivia expected to find Dr. Vegas but there was no arguing with the evidence. Olivia had broken into the woman’s motel room this morning. Among the dildos, ripped panties and pizza boxes, Olivia had discovered floor plans for the Right Thinking Publishing building. Notes had been written in a code that Olivia didn’t understand but one important fact wasn’t in code: today’s date.

Olivia sighed. She was going to have to start asking around. She picked a door at random and was about to knock.

A noise behind the door made her pause. It was the sound of a desk squeaking. Olivia was very familiar with that sound. It was the same sound of a desk that was being fucked on. The sound brought back happy memories of her cheerleading coach. Someone was getting fucked in there.

“I guess even paranoid freaks need to fuck,” Olivia whispered. She went to another door and was about knock on it.

This time she heard the sounds of a man moaning loudly. Considering how fucking happy he sounded, Olivia guessed he was getting a blowjob.

“This is just weird,” she said.

She checked another door. This time she heard the sounds of an ass getting spanked.

She went to another door. This door was shaking as if someone was fucking right against it on the other side.

“A bunch of horny mother-fuckers,” Olivia whispered.

“Hey baby,” she heard behind her. “Here to deliver a package?”

The guy looked to be in his fifties. His shirt was unbuttoned and was revealing as much of his chest as Olivia was. He was also sweating awfully hard for the interior of the cool building.

“Ah yes,” Olivia said. She put on her best dumb blonde routine. “I must have gotten turned around. Can you help me?”

He nodded and came closer. He was looking right at her chest. “How about I deliver a package for you? Maybe in my office?”

Olivia smelled pussy on his breath. “Do you work here?”

“Do I work here?” the man laughed. “Woman, I am the Vice-President of Sales. I haven’t had an erection in two years but I got one now. Want to go celebrate it with me?”

“Wow, that is very generous of you,” Olivia said. “But I should really deliver this. I think it might be down this way.”

“It is okay,” the Vice-President of Sales said. “I suspect I might prefer men.”

Olivia left him and headed down another hallway.

“I always knew conservative freaks were hypocrites but this is ridiculous,” she said to herself. “I just need to find Dr. Vegas and get the fuck out of here.”

A man stumbled into the hallway. From the waist up he was a perfect picture of conservative thinking. He had a nice jacket with a flag pin on his collar. His simple red tie looked expensive. He even had the quasi military crew cut that was so popular among older conservative thinkers these days.

The only thing that ruined his professional image was his complete lack of pants or underwear. His lipstick smeared cock was at full salute. It also didn’t help that he appeared to have an office lamp sticking out of his ass.

“Tits!” he yelled.

Olivia watched as the guy ran towards her. She was hypnotized by the way the office lamp bobbed back and forth between his legs. He wasn’t running very fast but damn if he wasn’t trying.

“Slow down there, boy,” Olivia yelled. She took a step back.

“Tits!” the man yelled again. He put his hands out as if he was practicing groping her.

Olivia shook her head and then acted. You don’t get to be head cheerleader for a college football team without knowing how to defend yourself. A single open palm thrust to his face knocked him off his feet. He landed on the lamp in his ass. Olivia winced as he made a funny sort of whimpering sound.

Now that he was incapacitated, she took a moment to study him. There was a strange purple tint to his skin. Although he was grimacing with pain, his cock was oozing pre-cum. The white of his eyes were turning purple as she watched.

“This is some fucked up shit,” Olivia concluded.

The doors at the end of the hall burst open. Four naked women stumbled out into the hallway. The oldest was in her sixties while the youngest looked to be Olivia’s age. All four of them were covered in bite marks and love scratches. They appeared to be covered in purple bruises but Olivia realized that was just the way their skin was pigmented. Every one of them was stroking themselves as they walked.

“I want your pussy!” the old lady screamed at Olivia. The other women howled in agreement. Like a pack of wild animals, they charged at Olivia. As they ran, none of them pulled their hands out of their cunts.

“God damn,” Olivia muttered. She swung the package at the first woman to reach her. She hit her so hard that the woman spun around twice before hitting the ground. She landed on her big breasts so Olivia had a feeling she would be okay.
Olivia dodged the second woman and kicked her in the back of the knee as she ran past. As the woman collapsed, Olivia slammed an elbow into the face of the third woman. An explosion of blood was followed by the muffled cry of the woman. She clutched her broken nose as Olivia shoved her down.

The last woman to reach her was the old lady. Olivia swung the package and Olivia was amazed to see the old woman dodge her. The woman fell to her knees and wrapped her arms around Olivia’s waist. Olivia cried out as she felt the old lady’s teeth clamp onto her zipper.

“Give me your pussy!” the old lady screamed from Olivia’s crotch. The bitch was trying to chew her way through Olivia’s pants!

“No means no, Grandma!” Olivia yelled. She brought the package down on the old lady’s head.

The old woman kept chewing. She looked up at Olivia with purple tinged eyes.

Olivia swung the box down much harder on the old woman’s skull. The sickening sound of bone crunching echoed in the hall.

The old woman kept chewing.

Olivia shredded the package and took out the Uzi. She slammed the grip as hard as she could into the old woman’s head. Finally, the old woman let go. She fell back with a mouthful of Olivia’s pants still in her mouth. Her head was horribly deformed but she kept stroking herself with her hands.

“I am starting to suspect that this shit is fucked up,” Olivia said. “What is wrong with you fuckers?”

The moaning women gave her no answer. One of the women, the one with the knee that Olivia had kicked, was savagely humping a plastic hall plant. She was humping it so hard that her entire body was shaking.

The woman climaxed. She screamed a primal cry of pleasure and desire. The scream was so loud that Olivia slapped her hands over her ears and she could still hear it. The screaming orgasm lasted a full minute.

When the scream ended, Olivia heard other people answering. All around her, men and women were screaming their heads off. They were screaming their orgasms. They were screaming with pure need. They were some loud mother fuckers.

Doors sprang open all along the hallway. Out of the doors stumbled naked moaning people. Men and women were pawing at each other as they flooded the hallway. At first they seemed to be looking for the woman who screamed her orgasm but they forgot about her as soon as they saw Olivia. Like they were sharing the same libido, all of them stopped and leered at Olivia.

“I picked a bad day to not wear panties,” Olivia said. The woman had chewed a gaping hole in Olivia’s pants.. “It looks like I am wearing some sort of delivery girl chaps.”

The sex crazed crowd surged towards her. Olivia popped the safety of her Uzi and let rip. Normally she wouldn’t shoot at unarmed civilians but these fuckers were insane with lust. As a sort of compromise, she aimed for their legs and tried to hobble them. She knew that some of them might bleed out and die but fuck, what choice did she have? If they were half as tough as Grandma there, she was in trouble.

QUIP! QUIP! QUIP! The silencer made the Uzi sound like the world’s angriest stapler. The Uzi’s bullets punctured their legs and sent the crowd in front of her falling to the ground. Most of them moaned as they fell on top of each other. Distracted by the pressing of bodies, the sex crazed fuckers groped and mauled each other’s broken bodies.

Olivia spun around to take down the horny mob that was behind her. One excited man was already at her. He grabbed her shoulders and snapped his head towards her breasts. His purple tongue stretched out as he sought to dive into her cleavage.

“You wish!” Olivia yelled. She kicked him in the nuts. To her surprise, it didn’t even slow him down.

The lusty naked man jammed his face in her tits. His tongue lapped at her skin as he buried his face deeper into her abundant mounds. Olivia tried to push him off but he had a death grip on her shoulders. He wasn’t going anywhere.

There was at least seven other naked people behind him. Olivia realized that if they reached her, they could bring her down easily with their weight alone. She had to act fast.

With Tit-Man’s face still attached to her chest, Olivia turned her body around and aimed her Uzi. A ten second burst of bullets later, and the moaning crowd was on the ground. Just like the other crowd, they soon turned into a mass of orgiastic bodies as they came in contact with one another.

“Fuck!” Olivia screamed. Tit-Man’s teeth were clamping down hard on her right breast.

Olivia’s knee came up again between his legs. This time she had the rage of a woman with an unwanted breast hickey. She lifted the man off his feet and dislodged his face from her chest. His leering grin was replaced with a small gasp of painful disbelief. Olivia slammed her head into his face. He crumpled to the ground.
He looked unconscious but Olivia shot him in the legs anyway.

She had to get out of here. Olivia didn’t understand what was going on but she knew it couldn’t be natural. It was a pretty good bet that Jamaica Vegas was involved but how? Was it some sort of virus? Maybe some sort of super aphrodisiac? More importantly, could Olivia catch it?

The hall was choked with bodies but Olivia didn’t care. She climbed on a humping back and ran across the fucking people. It was a lot like trying to get to the bathroom during one of the orgies at her sorority. As long as she moved fast, people didn’t notice as her foot used their sweaty backs as a stepping stone.
She ran to the elevator and hit the button. The doors opened to reveal a smaller orgy. It was four guys and a single woman. Olivia had no interest in evening those odds.

Olivia went to the stairs. She swapped out the clip in her Uzi as she went down a floor. As she turned the corner at the landing, she saw that second floor door was open. A pile of bodies were savagely humping each other. One of the fuckers was easily three hundred pounds and Olivia knew she wouldn’t get through there. She turned around and went back up to the third floor.

“God, what I need now is some big mother fucker on my side to plow my way through these fucks,” Olivia said.

As she turned the knob to the third floor door, she heard the sound of gunfire. It was the loud powerful whomp of a nasty pistol. It sounded like the kind of gun that would hit a person so hard their organs would become a postmodern painting.

“That’s what I am talking about,” Olivia said. She went through to the door.

To be continued in Pusse’ and Cox. Click the button to buy now!

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Apr 252011
 

My new book, Pusse’ and Cox is available for purchase from Lulu. The paperback version sells for $9.99 while the pdf version sells for a mere $2.99. The novel covers the adventures of Olivia Pusse’, a college cheerleader who becomes a detective to avenge her father’s death and Isaac Cox, a black male stripper who becomes a bounty hunter to make extra money. Together they battle Dr. Jamaica Vegas who has created a sound wave that turns people into uninhibited sexual zombies. A lot of fucking ensues.

I had several inspirations for this novel. I love grindhouse movies for their fearless plotting and exploitation elements. Perhaps the only thing better than grindhouse movies are modern tributes which take the extreme elements and repackage them. Robert Rodriguez’s ‘Planet Terror’ and the SEGA game, House of the Dead: Overkill inspired me to give it a shot myself. I played both soundtracks non-stop while writing this book.

My other main inspiration are the terrible macho pulp novels of the 70’s. Series like ‘The Destroyer’ and ‘The Eliminator’ have amazing action and pulp plots, but are also so loaded with conservative right wing propaganda that they are quite the chore to read for someone as liberal as myself. I wanted to create my own brand of action pulp with a touch of liberal propaganda. Instead of black muggers getting killed, I have a lot of right wing publishers getting shot. I am not sure if this makes it a better book on a moral level, but I sure as fucked enjoyed it.

This book was also a challenge for in that it is essentially a romance. Olivia and Isaac become a couple and I focus on their relationship. I haven’t really done a romance in ages and despite the orgies, guns and zombies, this story is a love story at heart.

George Sportelli knocked out the cover and man, it is awesome. I wanted a grindhouse cover and that is what I got. ‘Banned in 69 countries!’ That is worth writing the whole book alone.

Because the book centers on two characters, I will be posting two preview chapters this week. The first chapter will be from Olivia’s point of view and the second chapter will be from Isaac’s. I hope you like them half as much as I do.

Click the button to purchase now.
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Dec 172010
 

Have a minute? I need to ask a favor of anyone who has purchased one of my books. It doesn’t matter if you bought a PDF or a physical book. I need to ask your indulgence in some sort of arcane science called ‘marketing.’

Specifically, I would like you to go to Lulu and either rate a book or write a review. There is a lot of erotica for sale on Lulu but 99% of it doesn’t have ratings or reviews. Quite frankly, it looks like a bunch of vanity projects for sale and without any sort of customer rating, you never know if you are purchasing someone’s dirty IM chats that they made into a book.

Right now only the Island Princess book has a rating. Whomever did that gets a cookie. When you write your review or give your rating, feel free to be as honest as you like. Mostly I want to let new consumers know that these books are actually read and enjoyed by people other than my wife.

I have no idea if this kind of customer participation will result in even a single new purchase but hey, it’s not about the money. It’s about my vanity. Please help me feel like a real grown up author.

Click on the links below to go the main page of each book.

Thanks.

Prisoner of the Wizard’s Harem

Cell Phone Slave

The Colette-Ashbee Collection

Island Princess Bedtime Stories and Activity Book