Jan 312019
 

I am a big believer that anyone can write porn. Whether you can sell that porn and make money is a whole other topic, but I can guarantee you that you can at least write it. Writing erotica is a fun activity and everyone should do it at least once. With Valentine’s Day coming in two weeks, I suggest you give a gift that no one else can give, the gift of personalized erotica.

But Shon, I only write grocery lists, how can I write porn?

Look, you’ve written letters, right? What about texts? A personal erotic story for a loved one, or lusted one, is just a long text message that you proofread first. You got this. I know you do.

Plus, unless your loved/lusted one is an asshole, no one is going to be critiquing your story for character development or coherent themes. They are going to be delighted that you spent time and effort making something just for them.

Your story has a main character, it is your loved/lusted one. Describe them with every bit of your affection. This is not the time for humor. This is not the time for honesty when it comes to their flaws. Hell, in this story, they have no flaws. Describe them like you are bragging about them.

The setting is wherever you want it to be. This is erotica, so it can be a place with a personal connection like where you first dated, or it could be a place completely out of fiction like your favorite television show about dragons. Pick a setting that works with one of your personal fantasies, or a fantasy that you know the other person likes.

Introduce yourself into the story. Describe what you are wearing or not wearing. Sell yourself as the sexy person you know you are.

Now, do your characters talk? Do they just fuck? Is there a lot of flirting and teasing? You tell me. Better yet, tell the story.

This is the part where some people get uncertain. When writing about real people, there is a tendency to want to accurately predict their actions. The better you know someone, the easier this is but still, I think it is the wrong way to think about it. This is a fantasy. This story is your chance to share your erotic thoughts with someone else. The only thing that needs to be authentic is your desire. It is your desire that you are expressing in this story.

Indulge yourself. Describe the sex as explicitly as you want. Or make it vague and flowery according to your preference. There is no right or wrong way. It is all according to your taste.

One thing I do suggest is that you don’t end the story with an orgasm. This is Valentine’s Day, so end the story after the sex with a declaration of affection and/or lust.

Once your story is written, congratulate yourself! You did it! Now print the story out and put it away somewhere. Put it where it won’t be found. Don’t look at it for a day or two.

Seriously, don’t peek.

After a period of waiting, dig that printed copy out. Give it a read. Better yet, read it out loud. Wince at the typos and bad sentences. Fix them.

Ideally, you would repeat this step six more times but hey, people have lives. Hopefully you caught all the mistakes. Print a final copy and save it for your loved/lusted one.

Personally, I don’t like to watch people read my work. I give someone my story and then I get the fuck out of there to another room. I recommend doing the same as that way you won’t fall into the trap of over-analyzing their reactions as they read it.

What happens next is your business. Hopefully it will give you ideas for the next story you write for them.

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