Sep 252017
 

Before I get into this episode of Blood Drive, I want to take a moment and praise how much freaking action and plot goes into every episode. Blood Drive will never get the respect of a Walking Dead or a Game of Thrones but I would argue that those shows like to kill a lot of time and then throw in an exciting five minutes at the end to get trending on social media. Blood Drive is the exact opposite, they have a lot of shit to do and a short time to get there and it shows in every episode. The entertainment calue per minute of Blood Drive puts the prestige shows to shame.

This episode of Blood Drive promises the finale of the Blood Drive race. what could it be? A demolition derby with the last racers? One last race through some hellish obstacle course? No! This is the SyFy channel and they don’t have that kind of a budget so we get a battle royal inside a warehouse.

Having said that, it is a nice looking arena they have there. They make the most of their limitations and we get a cool fighting area. My favorite bit is the stands which have mannequins with the heads of TV cameras to represent the Heart employees looking on. There is a small VIP area complete with velvet ropes for the higher executives. At least Slink gets a stage to look fabulous.

This is a super busy episode. We find out that simultaneous Blood Drives have been happening around the world and the survivors are participating in the grand finale. That translates into a ton of guys with masks and one super hot Evil Nun. Hot Cop gets thrown into the battle royal first where he kicks ass but refuses to kill anyone because he is noble and shit.

The Heart CEO knows how to get Hot Cop to kill. He captures Karma, throws her in a cage and threatens to kill Grace if Hot cop doesn’t murder folks. Grace talks shit, which might be her other superpower, and in a fit of rage, the Heart CEO pulls off his blody body to reveal that he is in face, Karma, Grace’s long lost and thought dead sister!

Wha?

Yes, Karma survived the riot at the asylum and then umm, became CEO. They don’t explain much but fuck it, this is Blood Drive and shit happens. Also, Karma is a Bitch.

Karma and Grace and fight and due to a misunderstanding, Hot Cop thinks Karma kills Grace. Grace is actually fine, but Hot Cop doesn’t know that and he loses his shit. Hot Cop becomes Hot Killer and slaughters just about damn near everybody. Grace appears later and kills Karma. When Hot Killer finds out that Grace is still alive, it is too late. He has gone Complete Psycho and seems willing to kill Grace to claim the final prize. Grace walks away in disgust, which means Hot Killer, AKA Dumbest Man in the Apocalypse is the new Primo!

Well, now. We have two episodes to go so it will be interesting to see what happens next. Karma is alive because of a machine that got referenced way back in the Sex Zombie episode. Tortured Cop and Evil Robot Woman did some sneaking around and breaking into shit and are still the cutest fucked up couple, especially now that the other murder couple killed themselves in a final act of love. Hot Killer is really nuts now and Grace, well who knows what happens with Grace now.

I am really curious what happens to Slink now. His show is over although the CEO that cancelled it is presumed dead. As we all know, Slink is the real hero of this show.

Drive by thoughts,

Murder couple truly did have a wonder murder-suicide sequence as they realize that deep down, they want to make sure they are murdered by each other. True psycho love.

My laugh-out-loud moment was when Tortured Cop is looking at the Soul Reclaimator. He has no idea what it does but we see a guy with a hat get fed into a blood engine, and then his hat pops out at the Soul Machine. Tortured Cop looks at it and goes, “I think it makes hats!” Holy shit that was funny.

Speaking of which, Karma gets fed into an engine and pops out of the Soul Machine. Since she is the only one who does, we have to assume it is some sort of CEO perk.

Blood Drive proves that your security is only as good as your dumbest guard.

Evil Nun had a simple shtick but in her brief time, she proved that she should have been in the show all along.

I loved Slink’s relationship with his henchman and how fickle the henchman’s loyalty was. Sheesh, Slink truly is a tragic figure.

I nearly forgot about the ads! The fake ad for the Blood Drive action figures nearly made me cry as I realized I would never get a Grace or Slink figure. Also, the board game! Kudos to Blood Drive having a family with two gay dads playing with their kids.

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