Aug 282017
 

In this episode of Blood Drive, the Gentleman becomes the new Master of Mayhem while Slink is demoted to janitor. The Gentlemen proceeds to over-compensate by blowing up three unnamed drivers and then trying to hold a management meeting where he emphasizes having class as well as sadism. He also gives Grace and Arthur a hard time and is annoyed to discover he just can’t murder people who are not actively racing. We are also treated to the most awkward seduction attempt of all time as Arthur tries to seduce the Gentleman so Grace can steal the control box.

Meanwhile, Slink lurks around corporate headquarters somehow managing to upstage executives while wearing a janitor’s outfit. He stabs my favorite corporate executive in the cafeteria showing once more that Heart Enterprises has a very slack employee-on-employee violence policy. Slink quickly tricks Tortured Cop into doing something stupid like opening a vault door while on camera because hey, Tortured Cop wouldn’t be Tortured Cop if he wasn’t so gullible.

Speaking of Tortured Cop, he has a subplot where he discovers that Evil Robot Woman is also fucking his former Cop Boss who I had totally forgotten about. He kills Cop Boss and Aki helps him get away with it. Is the cold robot having feelings? Probably!

Inside the Vault is a terrible monster with the best origin story ever. Dr. Vermaak, heart’s mad scientist, put all the nasty chemicals he had on hand, put them in one beaker and planned to inject it into a test subject. Before he could do that, he got startled and spilled the crap in the face of the test subject who became a Brute or Hulk depending on your mythology. A Brute that is traumatically susceptible to freaking out when something wet gets on his face.

The Brute is teleported to the Blood Drive where he fucks shit up. The Gentleman begs Grace and Arthur to stop it and they sure try in an awesome fight sequence between two heroes and an unstoppable muscle machine. My favorite part of the fight is when they slam a giant blade inside the monster who then later SHITS IT OUT of his body.

The Blood Drive executives are pissed that the Brute is killing the Blood Drive and Slink offers to fix it. They know he caused it but have no choice but to put him back in charge. Slink then uses the Gentleman’s own car to ram the Brute and after popping the hood, Grace and Barbie are able to feed the monster to the engine. Problem solved!

Oh wait, there is still the matter of the Gentleman vs Slink. Slink put it best when he said, “Oh please. You can’t out-dandy me!” As Slink whips the Gentleman’s ass, Slink also brags about how he manipulated everyone into the Blood drive with years of planning and secret scheming. That scheming includes getting Grace’s sister committed to Grace would do the Blood Drive, which I really would not have done in front of Grace. Oops!

The Gentleman ends up blowing his own head off thanks to some sabotage from the Scholar and one of the Blood Drive’s best characters comes to an end. Oh well, at least we keep the Scholar who might be the show’s most sympathetic character.

Stray thoughts,

At one point, the Heart CEO gives this speech.

“This race is the greatest sacrifice in human history. It’s a blood-stained altar. The gore-soaked peak of a Mayan temple. The smoke from an erupting volcano on Mount Olympus. And that pleasing aroma is not for a god, it’s for Heart Enterprises, the most powerful corporation in the known universe.”

Now maybe I am still buzzing from American Gods but this reinforces my idea that Heart gets their power from a supernatural source. There is a dark god in that Gap and he wants sacrifices.

Grace and Arthur’s battle with the Brute was awesome mostly because it was something happening in the background and off-screen while more important shit was happening on screen. Most shows would have made the Brute fight the centerpiece of the show but Blood Drive saved that for Slink vs the Gentleman.

It looks like Tortured cop and Evil Robot Woman might become a couple which would be my favorite wicked romance in a long time.

 

 

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