Aug 062017

This episode of Blood Drive sends our Heroes into a wasteland that also just happens to have the women’s penitentiary where Grace’s sister is being held.  I thought we were going to have a parody of women’s prisons but the show throws us a curveball by doing a parody of Amazon culture when we discover the women prisoners have escaped and are running a female Utopia/Spa. barbie gets beat up a lot and thrown into a cell to be milked later while Grace gets a spa treatment and is told how great her sister was.

You see, Karma apparently led a revolt against the prison guards and is the reason the woman have a spa lair today. Now that gets me thinking. What if Karma is the Mad Maxine of this world? She could be a lone wanderer, going from place to place, doing good deeds and defeating evil gangs and staying one step ahead of the sister that she doesn’t know is looking for her?

Now the Amazons try to spoil this idea by saying Karma fell in the rebellion and all they have of her is her ID bracelet and a really nice shrine. Nice try Amazon ladies! We all know that if there is not a body, then a character isn’t really dead.

The other plot involves the Murder Couple still having martial problems. I feel kind of foolish for thinking they had resolved their problems a few episodes ago. Anyone who has ever been married knows that no issues ever get resolved in a single episode. Murder Couple gets seperated by the Amazons and Murder Wife is seriously considering staying with the Amazons but her husband’s heartfelt plea for them to murder together wins her over. She slaughters some Amazons and creates enough chaos for the Heroes to take advantage of. Oh Murder Couple, you truly are the heart of the show.

Speaking of Heart, Tortured Cop is now a Security Guard and living in strange Stockholm domestic bliss with Evil Robot lady.  Tortured Cop almost immediately uses his new position to break into the wonderfully named Hall of Secrets to find out anything. What he finds out is Evil Robot Lady can spy on him through his eyes and she presses some buttons to make him projectile vomit until he submits.

Side note, if you wanted to write a grim dystopian BDSM story, you could gather enough ideas for a series of novels from Tortured Cop/Evil Robot Lady’s arc.

Meanwhile, the best character, Slink, endures another executive meeting. Sweet Vincent Price, watching Slink explain the appeal to the Blood Drive and what he is trying to do to clueless artless executives warms a place in my writer’s heart. In this executive meeting, Slink throws a knife into an executive, Slink gets fired and the head executive discovers that he can;t kill slink outright because Slink has a “Holding Contract”.

Let’s take a moment to think about how a contract prevents Slink from being killed by the head of the worse company on Earth. Why would a contract hold so much power? Could it be because that contract is infernal which would prove my earlier theory that Heart gets their technology straight from Hell? Hmmm?

Favorite random bits.

Barbie gets beat up by women alot in this episode and it is awesome.

The amazons have a milking machine to extract seed from men and it is wonderfully awful.

The Milked Men are douchebros who are placated with junk food, beer and video games.

Our Heroes get tricked by a painting of a wreck, which Grace calls “Getting Wile Coyoted”.

Some new drivers show up, without names, and pretty much die in 15 minutes.

  3 Responses to “Blood Drive: Booby Traps”

  1. Tried watching it. Keep thinking of Dom DeLuise.

  2. Marama Corlett’s hips are killing me.

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