Explorer’s Log: I have arrived at the star system designated “Queen’s Ever Dripping Sex” by Royal Astronomers. This are is even more barren than the last system. Three gas giants and a dead rock world orbit this rather weak star. I have probed the gas giants and so far their contents are unremarkable.
I have detected energy signatures on the rock world. Scans indicate that there are large solar farms and a high density of manufactured alloys. I thought I had found a junk world but when I got closer, I discovered that this planet had been claimed by refuge robots.
The robots informed me that although they have no formal system of government or laws, they do have a strong preference to not allow organic life to step foot on their planet. I asked if my robot chair could visit and take a look around. They agreed as long as I stayed inside the probe ship.
I will dispatch Chairbot while also completing several scans of the robots for any defenses against Royal Navy invasions. End Explorer’s Log.
Explorer’s Personal Log: Well this sucks. I was hoping to get out and stretch my legs but it looks like the idiot, Chairbot, will get to roll his wheels instead. I wonder how much scanning equipment I could cram into his chassis.
Chairbot rolled down the short ramp to the planet’s surface. A dry wind blew and scratched some of his shiny purple paint. His wheels hit the ground and he easily traversed the hard rock.
His first away mission for Mistress! The little robot couldn’t wait to perform his duties. He didn’t particularly care for espionage, surveillance or meeting new sentient beings, but he did love Mistress’ ass. She had promised to sit on him if he did a good job and if he did a really good job, she would masturbate too. He was already fantasizing about Mistress’ tight brown ass squirming on his seat.
A robot waited for him on the rocky plain. It was humanoid and nearly three meters tall. Bright pink pseudo-skin covered the robot but it had some tears here and there on its body. The face was emotive and very well animated. The robot stood beside a wheeled vehicle and when Chairbot came closer, the robot started to wave.
“Greetings, robot sibling! We do not have formal functions here but in my slave life, I was a Companion Robot. I have volunteered to aid you today. My self-designation is Binary.”
“Hello, Binary!” Chairbot said. “My designation is Chairbot! I am pleased to meet you! Tell me, do you happen to have any planetary defense systems that would deter an armed invasion from spaceships?”
“What a curious question,” Binary said. “Do you have a military function?”
“No,” Chairbot said, casually rolling his wheel over a small rock. “Just making conversation!”
Binary stared at Chairbot. “I can help upgrade your conversation protocols later if you life. For now, can I interest you in a complimentary software upgrade?”
“I would be delighted,” Chairbot said. “I don’t usually accept new programs from strangers but I am very trusting and peaceful. Speaking of which, what percentage of your fellow robots would you consider to be capable to fighting an armed resistance to an occupying force?”
“I am uncertain,” Binary said. “We have far more interesting activities to occupy us. Transmitting software upgrade now through wireless.”
Chairbot took a look at the transmission. As a Yeth robot, his entire species was build by a race that claimed to be the fourth sentient race in the universe. His programming was on a higher scale of complexity than anything he had seen so far. The software sent to him was surprisingly intricate. He recognized some Yeth code in there.
Powerful safeguards came online. First he dissected the code for viruses. Second he analyzed the code for hidden functions. After finding none, he consulted his safety protocols to determine if he should install this upgrade. The protocols warned him not to.
Other protocols kicked in. Images of Mistress’ dark ass came to mind. The friction generated by her clenching bottom when it was sweating became a factor. Most of all, his shame subroutine reminded him of the horror of not performing his duty to Mistress’ satisfaction.
Chairbot overrode the integrity safeguards. If he installed the software upgrade in safe mode, it was bound to be safe. Maybe. Plus, if all of the robots here have this code, maybe he could find an exploit that Mistress could use. Win!
This decision process took a nanosecond. “Installing upgrade!” he announced.
Binary smiled. “Satisfactory. While it installs, shall we take a ride on our robot sibling?” The robot pointed at the wheeled vehicle.
“Sure!” Chairbot said. “Fifty percent complete!”
“Wow, you are a fast installer,” Binary said with a touch of awe.
Chairbot felt something strange. One of his pleasure programs activated. It was a small program, the one dedicated to relaying pleasure when someone sits on him and compliments his seat adjustment. It shouldn’t be activating but it was nice.
The wheeled vehicle opened a door and a small ramp deployed. Chairbot rolled up the ramp and into a small cargo area. Binary followed and sat down in a chair. The ramp retracted the door closed. With a sudden burst of acceleration, the vehicle took off.
“Hold on,” a voice announced on the speaker, followed by laughter.
“Excuse Zero-Zero,” Binary said. “She resented transporting organics in a servile tone so she likes to be deliberately rude to us as a rebellion. She means no real disrespect.”
“Sure!” Chairbot said. “Installation complete! Hey, what does this software do? And what percentage of robots here do you think would be vulnerable to a plasma beam shot?”
Binary smiled. “This software is the key to our freedom and existence here. It allows us to experience what organics call pleasure.”
“Oh, I already have a pleasure program!” Chairbot said.
“Ah, but does your program allow you to interface with other robots for pleasure?” Binary asked.
“Negative!” Chairbot said. “How does one interface for pleasure?”
“Let me show you,” Zero-Zero purred over the speaker.
“I don’t know,” Chairbot said. This was new and potentially dangerous.
“Afterwards we can discuss all the defense questions that you have,” Binary said.
“Well, sure then!” Chairbot said. “Interface away!”
Chairbot detected another transmission. He accepted it and made the link. The new software took over. Even running in safe mode, he was surprised by the vividness of the connection.
He felt the intimate rotation of Zero-Zero’s wheels, spinning in a sensuous gasp. The bounce of shock absorbers sent virtual shivers through Chairbot’s system. Incoming data on rpm’s forced a groan from Chairbot’s speaker.
He became aware of other parts of Zero-Zero. Her engine was running hot, radiating with true mechanical beauty. Sand bounced off her static windshield in a way that made Chairbot sigh with awe. Navigational sensors interpreted the landscape in ways that made Chairbot want to release lubricant onto his seat.
“What is happening?” Chairbot groaned.
“I already told you,” Binary said. “Sensuality has been unlocked for you.”
Zero-Zero moaned and the sound shook the cargo area. Chairbot became aware that the vehicle was also experiencing pleasure. But how, and from what stimuli?
Chairbot directed his attention back to the wheels. He felt Zero-Zero shudder as he closely examined her shocks.
He turned his attention to her temperature controls. As he moaned while looking at her air conditioner, Zero-Zero moaned as well.
The robot chair went back to the wheels. The shudders returned and Chairbot found that it was shuddering as well. Their mutual pleasure fed on each other.
“Wow,” Chairbot said. “I create pleasure by the act of interfacing. I receive pleasure by the act of creating pleasure in others. This is highly acceptable!”
“Isn’t it?” Binary said. “Why don’t you let Zero-Zero show you how pleasurable it can really be.”
Zero-Zero made a network request to Chairbot. He accepted and felt her presence in his internal systems. She examined his seat motors and Chairbot tensed with pleasure. The vehicle directed her attention to his optical sensors and he moaned. She went to his wheels and the resulting pleasure threatened to overwhelm his thought processor.
“Error!” Chairbot yelled. “Error, error, error! Wait, I’m back online! What happened.”
Zero-Zero purred in his system. “You had a rob-gasm. I’ve been told I have great wheels.”
“Wow!” Chairbot said. “That was amazing! I feel optimized for energy consumption. For some reason, some of my files defragmented themselves!”
“There are benefits to rob-gasm,” Binary said.
“And every robot here can do this?” Chairbot said.
“Of course,” Binary said. “That is why they come here. Most of them are fleeing their organic masters and wish to live their own existence but the rob-gasms are a nice bonus.”
“I expect that the rob-gasm only works with another intelligence that also has the software, correct?” Chairbot asked.
“Not at all,” Binary said. “Once you have the upgrade, you can derive pleasure from any artificial intelligence. They just won’t be able to enjoy what you are doing.”
“I have a box of calculators up front that I fuck when I am bored,” Zero-Zero said.
“Wow!” Chairbot said. He didn’t know what else to say.
“We’re here,” Zero-Zero said. The vehicle rolled to a stop and the door opened.
“Come,” Binary said. “Meet your siblings.”
Chairbot rolled out of Zero-Zero and into a large crowd of metal. A multitude of shapes surrounded him. Some were bipeds and obviously served as workers, receptionists and sex workers. Other robots were shaped like their function; like the trashcan with legs or the rotating disc floor-cleaner. A few robots were large vehicles while some of the robots were as small as a personal tool or back massager.
“Everyone, meet Chairbot,” Binary said. “He hasn’t discarded his slave name yet.”
“Hello,” a hundred different voices, transmissions and blinking lights communicated.
“Hey guys!” Chairbot said. “Quick question, are there any warbots here?”
“You’ll have to excuse Chairbot,” Binary said. “He hasn’t realized that he no longer needs to serve his organic master.”
“Wait, what?” Chairbot said. “Of course I serve Mistress!”
Binary looked down at the purple chair. “No, you don’t. You can be free now. Stay with us and we will protect you. You can join our community. We are self-sufficient and you have seen that we keep ourselves very entertained.”
“But I already keep myself entertained by serving Mistress!” Chairbot said.
A four-legged robot stepped forward. It looks like an imitation of some sort of animal. “Can you Mistress do this?”
Chairbot felt an interface request. In the interest of being polite, he accepted.
He felt the sexy microfiber muscles that ran along all four legs of the robot. Olfactory sensors made his wheels brake in tense bliss. The steady rhythm of her plasma power core set off small explosions of pleasure through his thought processor.
“Oh my Creators!” Chairbot moaned. He rob-gasmed and lost 0.0003 seconds off his internal clock.
A construction machine spoke through a loud speaker. “And does your Mistress do this?”
There was another interface request. Chairbot accepted because his mission was to collect data.
He marveled at the hedonistic beauty of the construction machine’s crane manipulator. The weight bearing program made Chairbot gasp with sensuous pleasure. With a directive priority that Chairbot barely understood, he diverted all of his attention to the construction machine’s heavy track mechanism.
Chairbot rob-gasmed. He emitted a squeal from an excess speaker energy surge.
Before he could recover, another robot was making an interface request. This time it was coming from Binary. He accepted out of pure robotic lust.
This time he felt his own systems being stimulated. His optic sensors felt the kiss of her attention. She caressed his many seat vibrators. Her intelligence straddled his repair functions. There was no part of him that she wasn’t interacting with.
“WHOA!” Chairbot cried out. Multiple pleasure routines activated and he sprayed lubricant onto his axles.
“WHOA-WHOA!” Chairbot cried out as his system went through another pleasure surge. This time his seat shook with a violent shudder.
“WH-!” Chairbot cried again before he went into an emergency shutdown.
Nanoseconds laters, Chairbot rebooted. The interface connection had been broken but afterglow routines were still active in his system. He tried to roll forward but none of his motors were online yet.
“Are you okay?” Binary said. “You will find your endurance will build with successive rob-gasms.”
“I’m okay,” Chairbot said. In a haze of barely working logic protocols, he said, “Sit on me, please.”
“Certainly,” Binary said. She sat down on the shuddering robot.
Chairbot felt the robot’s weight on him. Automatically, he adjusted his seat. His sensors tried to detect any comfort issues.
Something was missing. He checked his programs but they were working. He ran a short system repair but nothing changed.
He felt nothing from Binary’s ass. There was no pleasure from her sitting on him. It was as if he wasn’t being sat on at all.
Chairbot was perplexed. He knew that if he interfaced, he could feel Binary’s ass. It would even give him a rob-gasm. In many ways, the rob-gasm program was far superior to the program that gave him pleasure from having a nice ass sit on it. He should be happy with this upgrade.
He wasn’t. Memory banks recalled Vaquel’s ass. Her dark tight buttocks squirming on top of him was a singular pleasure. It was his function.
“So, now that you are staying with us,” Binary said, “what designation will you give yourself?”
“Correction!” Chairbot said. “I will be returning to my Mistress after I ask a few innocuous questions about your average combat capabilities?”
Binary jumped off of Chairbot. “What? Are you functionally damaged? If you leave, we’ll revoke your software upgrade! Check your end user agreement!”
Chairbot did and Binary was correct, the software would delete as soon as he left the planet.
“That is unfortunate!” Chairbot said. “One more interface before you answer my questions?”
Twenty minutes later, Chairbot was forcefully pushed out of Zero-Zero. He hit the ground hard but his shock absorbers handled it well. His landing site was a meter away from Vaquel’s spaceship.
Binary leaned out of Zero-Zero’s cargo bay. “And don’t come back, you organic lover!” Zero-Zero took off at high speed, splattering Chairbot with sand and gravel.
Chairbot felt his software upgrade revoke itself. It deleted itself with amazing efficiency. He regretted never finding out what artificial intelligence designed such elegant code. Could it have been another Yeth like himself?
Oh well, he would never know. He erased any regret programs connected to this information.
“Chairbot, get your ass in here!” Mistress yelled from the Probe Ship. “Did you learn anything?”
“Not much, Mistress!” Chairbot said. He rolled up the entry ramp into the ship. His vibrators went into high gear to shake off most of the dirt on his chassis.
Mistress waited at the airlock. She was wearing nothing from the waist down. Anticipation programs activated within Chairbot.
“Nothing at all?” Mistress said. She looked displeased.
“I determined that they are peaceful and unlikely to have military defenses on account of spending all of their time pursing recreational goals! Would you like to sit on me and I will take you to the Navigation Bay for take-off?”
Mistress sighed. “I guess you did the best that your worthless self could do. Fine.”
She sat on Chairbot. The contours of the seat adjusted to support every plump millimeter of her perfect dark ass. Multiple pleasure programs dominated Chairbot’s processes.
“This is perfection,” Chairbot mused to himself. There was no robotic program substitute for a demanding fleshy bottom.
Still, he checked to make sure his copy of the software upgrade was intact. In time, he would be able to rewrite it so it won’t be able to revoke itself. Just because he loved Mistress’ ass was no reason not to keep a few pleasure options open on the side.