Jul 182016

The following contains spoilers for my new interactive erotica book, Taken by the Aliens. Before you read any further, you should probably go buy the book, which I am sure that you have already.

When I decided to do a book about alien abductions, I made a conscious decision to draw inspiration from the pre-X-Files period of “real life” alien abductions. I put real life in quotes because alien abduction experiences have an uncanny tendency to follow trends in entertainment and cultural movements. People reported being taken by human looking aliens until “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” came out and wouldn’t you know it, after that movie, people started getting visited by little aliens with big heads.

The aliens in the book fall into three distinct groups plus some extras.

The Greys are the most common aliens in my book and the most famous in popular culture. Mention UFO aliens to a random person and they will picture these frail thin aliens with the big eyes and even bigger heads. Whitley Streiber is a pioneer of chronicling the little perverted bastards which is why your best friend in the book is a UFO fan named Whitney.

In my book, they use a lot of probes. Holy crap, did I make a bunch of alien sex toys for this book. My favorite was the weird house with the multiple tongues. I flip-flopped on giving them genitals and ultimately decided that Grey cock was too good to pass up although their fingers are quite sensitive too.

Before people saw Greys, most alien sightings were of a perfect race of aliens that looked like tall blond humans. Nicknamed the Nordics by UFO experts, these aliens came by to tell you that Earth needs to get their shit together and stop using nuclear weapons, clean their environment and not become communists. They always came from a nearby planet like Venus or Saturn and they also told the abductee that they personally had been chosen to teach the Earth how to be better galactic citizens.

The Nordics presented a problem to me as a writer. On the one hand, the idea of an alien race posing as Galactic Big Brothers really amused me. On the other hand, the fact that this perfect race was a bunch of Aryan white people struck me as racist as fuck.

The solution was easy, I turned to Afrofuturism. I kept the highly superior attitude but swapped Anhk-wearing black men with large skulls for their huge brains for the rather bland Nordic model. I called them Nubians and gave them mental powers which let me skip having to make up yet another hundred kinds of sex probes.

The Nubians are obviously full of shit but they are so damn nice about it. I am especially proud of them claiming to have taught Earth people how to make strip malls.

The last group of aliens are the Reptoids. By far the smallest group of alien reported by abductees, the Reptoids sadly don’t have much consistency in their descriptions. People described them as walking lizard people of various sizes and shapes.

Now, David Ickle claims that Snake People are shape shifters and secretly run the government. As tempting as that was to incorporate, I decided against including it because I am afraid I would end up writing V fan fiction.

I went another direction and just made them lumbering lizard people. Only during my second draft did I realize that I unconsciously based them on the Sleestak from Land of the Lost. Oops.

At some point I was trying desperately to make an oral sex scene with the Reptoids different from the other dozen oral scenes I had written. It occurred to me that the Reptoid’s skin might have hallucinogenic properties like some frogs. That was my happiest innovation as it made all their sex scenes far more interesting.

Once I got the three major alien groups out of the way, I felt free to indulge myself with some non-traditional aliens. The alien with four arms was just me wanting to do a big spanking scene. The tentacle monster in the cell was there because how can you NOT do a tentacle monster on a spaceship? The brains in the jars were just a cool image and the host of robots were for science fiction decoration.

I do want to talk about the man with the Memphis accent. I knew I wanted one celebrity on board the ship and Elvis was the obvious choice. I am not really a fan of Elvis himself as much as I am a fan of fiction about Elvis. Bubba Hotep by Joe Lansdale comes to mind as well as the perfect Come Back tour by Kim Newman. I like the idea of Elvis more than the man and that is why my Elvis is a charming if selfish creature with alien hips from beyond our powers to comprehend.

Wednesday I will continue the autopsy with a look at the structure of the choices.

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