A vortex of laser fire came from the door to the ship’s bridge. It was a steady rain of hot death and already three of my pirates had fallen to the deadly torrent. My crew looked at each other and then at me; none of them were going to try to enter. It was certain death.
I let out a sigh. It wasn’t supposed to be this hard. This was a Ceung Freighter. The hairy talking centipedes were a docile race of traders and cosplayers. Scans showed that their hulls were full of diamond cortexs from gas giants. It was supposed to be a low risk, high yield pirate job. The Ceung were pushovers. The worse they would do to us is unflattering imitations of us when we left.
The Duron mercenaries that the Ceung had hired however were another matter. They were complete bastards and treated every fight as a matter of personal honor. They made us bleed for every inch we had taken of this ship.
I was done bleeding for the day.
“What now, Captain Blastpants?” Morella, my First Mate asked. She was using my full name which meant she was quit tired of kicking her ass kicked too.
“I’m going to toss this plasma grenade through the door,” I said.
Her brow furrowed inside her environmental suit. “You mean one of those defective grenades we got from raiding that trash ship?”
“It’ll work,” I said. “You know how fussy factories are. These grenades probably explode a percentage point out of tolerance of quality recommendations. It’ll be fine.”
Morella was about to say something else but she stopped when I tossed the grenade. An explosion of light came from the bridge. I frowned and she laughed. There was a noticeable lack of superheated matter.
“Fuck it,” I yelled and I was running through the door with pistol and laser sword drawn.
Duron mercenaries stumbled around. The malfunctioning grenade had merely blinded them instead of melting them. I worked with that. I shot a Duron who was clutching his eyes and used my laser sword to skewer a Duron who had tripped over a chair.
“Not so tough now, are you?” I yelled. I could almost feel that post victory blowjob.
My crew ran in behind me. Grim laughter filled the cabin as we slaughtered the blind mercenaries. These assholes had killed our friends and colleagues and now they were helpless. We gave them pirate mercy which is to say none at all.
“The best part is the bridge is still intact!” I said.
Morella let out a sigh. “You’re just lucky the grenade didn’t work like it should have.”
I smiled at her. “I always said I would rather be lucky then good.”
A glow caught my eye. It was coming from under a console. It was a weird orange globe that seemed to slowly be expanding.
It was the grenade. The plasma containment field was collapsing slowly instead of the micro-second that it should have failed.
“Run!” I yelled.
I turned and suddenly I was propelled upwards towards the bridge ceiling. I slammed into the ceiling and darkness engulfed me.
I awoke drifting in space. My suit had sealed itself and warning glyphs flashed before me on the holographic display on my helmet.
Oh fuck. Sixty-three percent of the suit was damaged. The oxygen recycler was offline. The propulsion system was offline. Radiation shielding had been compromised which I didn’t worry about because hey, I wasn’t going to be alive long enough to get space cancer at this rate.
I activated my communicator. Dead silence. A quick scan of the hundred warning glyphs told me that my communicator was offline too.
Well fuck. I was going to have to wait until my pirates looked for me using my suit’s transponder.
A nasty thought crossed my mind. I scanned the warning glyphs.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK! The transponder was melted too!
I was in a slow spin. The guidance thrusters were offline so there was no way to stop my rotation. I was curious about my ship. Hell, I was curious if my ship was even around. How long had I been knocked out? Could my ship had already left without me?
Slowly my body rotated in the right direction. I saw my ship, the Savage Thrust, still connected to the Cueng Freighter. The bridge of the freighter looked like a burst bra. A mess of debris surrounded the bridge but I was a good long distance away from it.
Shit, I must have been blasted out by the explosion. The plasma grenade should have just destroyed the inside of the bridge but instead it created a catastrophic breach. That might be why I was ejected out instead of smeared against a bulkhead.
Yeah, lucky me. I am going to suffocate out here instead of dying instantly. Praise the Lords of Space!
I wondered if Morella died too. Nah, she would survive just so she could bitch about me throwing that grenade. I realized she was going to do a great job taking over as a Captain. She’s smarter than I ever was.
Fuck, it didn’t take long for me to get morose. I stopped that shit right away. I was Captain Blastpants! I had fucked my way across the galaxy! I had a hot blue alien girlfriend! I had slapped more asses and squeezed more tits than any other pirate! I had nothing to be depressed about.
My joy lasted about three minutes. Dying sucked.
I thought about masturbating. I never did get that after battle blowjob. I couldn’t get inside my suit without exposing my flesh to the vacuum of space but maybe I could rub myself. I could dry hump my hand. If I could come one last time, the endorphins would help ease waiting for death.
My hand went to my crotch. The boarding suit armor got in the way. Fuck, most of the suit had been destroyed but of course the shit around my crotch was fine. I couldn’t even jack off before dying.
Was this the sad end of Captain Blastpants? Blown out into space by his own defective grenade?
I laughed. As endings went, it was pretty funny. I was bound to be remembered for it. Well, that and my massive cock.
My body rotated away from the ship. A galaxy of stars cascaded around me. The beauty of the cosmos surrounded me.
I thought about opening the environmental seals on my crotch. I wondered if I could jack off fast enough before I died. It was certain suicide but it was better than waiting to suffocate. I was also a little turned on the challenge.
Fuck, I had been a space pirate for so long; I wasn’t sure when I lasted masturbated. That was what Cabin Women were for. Did I even remember how?
There was a green star that caught my eye. Next to it was another green star. I watched them as my body slowly rotated but strangely I didn’t loose track of them. They were following me.
Were they ships? No, that was silly. How could ships even know I was here? Without a transponder, I was a single grain of sand in the vast ocean that is space.
The green stars became brighter. Maybe they were ships.
I got my first good look at them. They were women. Long green hair trailed behind them as they floated towards me. Large green round breasts floated in zero gravity. Long green legs tapered up to hairless pussies. Bright green eyes looked at me as green lips smiled.
Wow, I had gone fucking nuts from oxygen deprivation. I wasn’t expecting that. At least I was hallucinating hot women.
They were close enough to touch. I reached out for a plump breast. My fingers sank into soft flesh. I was impressed by how detailed my hallucination was!
The two green women grabbed me. They stopped my rotation and the stars stopped spinning. One of them smiled at me and touched my faceplate while the other floated down to my crotch.
A warning glyph appeared. Something was attempting to open my environmental seals on my pants.
I remembered an old story told by Captain Crazy Bite. It was about floating women in space. There might have been a butt plug involved. He had a name for them, Qansons, I think. It was a good story but it was just another bullshit space pirate story. You know, like haunted asteroids or brothel workers that paid their customers.
I squeezed the tit again. My other hand reached down and grabbed a handful of ass. The green woman giggled soundlessly in space.
Fuck, Qansons were real.
The other Qanson was still messing with my environmental seal. She was persistently trying to get into my pants. I liked that in a woman but I was worried about the whole vacuum exposure part.
I tried to push her away. She took my hand and guided it to her green lips. Her mouth opened and she took three of my fingers into her. I felt her tongue flick over my fingers as her cheeks sucked inward.
That felt nice. My glove was thick but her tongue was talented. I could only imagine what it would feel like against my bare flesh.
The Qanson near my face stroked her self. I watched her lips open in a soundless moan. Green hair floated around us as she masturbated vigorously.
I tried communicating with her. My fingers let go of her tit and pointed back at my ship. “Take me back there, please!” I yelled.
Of course my communicator was fried but I hoped they could read my lips. Maybe she could sense my message psychically. I thought really hard at her.
The green woman stroked faster. The other Qanson wrapped her thighs around my leg and rubbed herself against me. She kept my fingers in her mouth as she humped my leg.
I tried pantomime. I pointed at myself and then at the ship. I made some vague motion that resembled flying. I grabbed my throat and contorted my face into the act of choking and dying. On a whim, I used the Intergalactic Hand Signal for distress and rescue.
The Qanson nodded and I let out a sigh of relief. She leaned forward and pressed her plump green breast to my faceplate. A green tit with a dark green nipple filled my entire view.
Yeah, I was going to die out here. I wasn’t bitter. It seemed kind of fitting that I would be killed by the neglect of horny space anomalies. This kind of irony made me believe there really were Lords of Space who controlled everything for their amusement.
The Qanson humping my leg humped faster. She also kept sucking on three of my fingers. I was impressed by the width of her mouth.
The other Qanson rubbed her green tits back and forth across my faceplate. I appreciated the view but it was annoying to be so close to tits and not be able to kiss them.
Shit, why was I keeping my helmet on? I was debating killing myself just to jack off earlier; why not do it for a pair of great tits?
I pressed a button on my helmet. I laughed when I got the confirmation glyph for opening my helmet. Every other damn thing in this suit was melted but lock still worked. I pressed the button again to confirm that I wanted to open it.
The faceplate retracted. I winced as I prepared for the cold suck of death to drain the atmosphere of my suit but instead I got a large breast smashing into my face. Instinct took over and I opened my lips and bit down.
I was alive. Despite being exposed to the ravages of space the breast was surprisingly warm. I found her nipple and licked it. The Qanson shivered and her breast jiggled in the zero gravity.
The Qanson pulled her tit away. She smiled at me and leaned in for a kiss. I took a deep breath in an open helmet as she came. Maybe I was already dead and this was the afterlife.
Or maybe the Qansons had their own life support field. That made more sense. I mean, I didn’t know if it was scientifically possible. I’m a space pirate not a scientist.
She kissed me and I forgot about science. Her tongue was soft and fluid inside my mouth. Warm lips kissed mine as her hands wrapped around me. She kissed me softly as we floated in space.
The other Qanson kept humping my leg. Her lips opened and released my fingers. I reached out and cupped her neck instead. She rode my leg with an increasing passion. Her sex pressed tightly against my knee as she rubbed back and forth.
She climaxed. I felt a pulse of energy shoot up my leg and fill my body with warmth. She suddenly stopped humping my leg and I felt the literal afterglow of her orgasm.
The Qanson that was kissing me whimpered in my mouth. It was a jealous sound. She wanted to come too.
She broke the kiss and glided up my body. I saw every perfect inch of her smooth green body. Her thighs opened in front of me and then closed around my head. My lips opened and my tongue sought her sex.
The Qanson’s pussy was hot to the touch. My tongue parted her sex lips and delved inside. She tasted sweet with a faint touch of ozone. Her pussy juice tingled as it went down my throat.
The other Qanson messed with my crotch again. This time I helped her. I pressed a button and my pants opened like a first time pirate. My cock was free in the vacuum of space.
But not for long. The Qanson’s mouth engulfed my cock. An electric charge shocked my cock but it was brief. Warm wetness surrounded my cock and I groaned into the other Qanson’s pussy. I was finally getting my post battle blowjob.
We drifted in space together. I licked one Qanson while the other sucked me. The Qanson I ate humped my face while her friend bounced her face on my cock.
I stripped off my gloves so I could feel their soft flesh. They stripped off my remaining clothes so they could touch me. I sank my fingers into firm asses while they gripped my hairy arms and thighs. We writhed and grinded our hips in each others’ mouths.
The Qanson’s thighs tightened around my head. A glow came from deep within her sex. I licked faster and harder until the glow flashed into a green star.
The thighs released me. The green woman arched her back and drifted away from me in orgasmic bliss. The green glow radiated from her sex like beacon in the dark of space.
The Qanson sucking my cock stopped. She held onto my cock with one hand as she spun around. Her ass was presented to me and her legs parted. It was clear what she wanted.
I grabbed her hips and completed a docking maneuver. My cock slid into her from behind and the Qanson clenched tightly around me. Another jolt travelled up my cock and up my spine.
There is a trick to fucking in zero gravity and it just comes down to practice. Being a space pirate I had the skills and the Qanson did as well. I wondered how many people these two had fucked in space.
We fucked in the dark emptiness. She reached back and I grabbed her arms for support. Our bodies humped in a slow economy of motion. Her long green hair floated around us while our sexes merged.
The other Qanson recovered and floated back to us. She came up along side me and kissed my chest. Tiny sparks flew with each kiss. Her other hand went under her friend and I felt fingers at her sex. She rubbed her friend while she sucked on my nipple.
A new surge went through me. It came from her mouth on my nipple, shot down my body and travelled through my cock into the other Qanson’s pussy. It was a powerful force and I felt my heart skip a beat. We were completing some strange circuit.
It came again, running from tongue to nipple, to cock to pussy once more. This time I swore my heart skipped two beats.
It came again. My vision got a little fuzzy. I realized this was probably unhealthy. It was most likely going to kill me.
Ha! I should already be dead; naked as I was in space! Every thrust was an extra bonus of pleasure I had cheated from my certain doom. I wasn’t going to quit now.
I fucked the Qanson faster. Her green back arched beautifully. If she screamed something I couldn’t hear it in space. The other Qanson kept rubbing and sucking; sending a near constant surge of energy through me.
The Qansons climaxed. A green light exploded from the area of her pussy. I clenched my eyes shut but I couldn’t shut the green star out.
She dismounted from my cock. The circuit was broken. As soon as her pussy left my cock, the green woman beside me grabbed my cock. It was slick with her friend’s juices and her grip slid easily over me.
One tug, two tug and I came on the third. I shouted and it was a soundless cry. My seed fired from my body and froze instantly in the cold of space.
I came for a long time. Streams of come turned into glittering ice. The Qanson kept stroking me until every drop had turned into a comet.
I was exhausted. Darkness crept around my vision. I was dying. Shit, maybe I was already dead and this was the tail end of my death hallucination. That was cool. At least I came.
I felt warm flesh take both my arms. Two sets of breasts pressed against my ribs. As my eyes closed, I saw my seed twisting in space like strange diamonds.
“Lords of Space!” someone yelled.
I woke up. I was in an airlock. My naked ass felt the cold metal beneath me. I was looking up into the eyes of several of my crew.
“Captain, we thought you blew yourself up on the bridge!” it was Morella. Was their concern in her voice?
“Technically someone else blew me,” I said as I sat up. “Wait, how did I get here?”
Morella frowned at me. “You tell us! The airlock alarm went off and said we had an intruder. And why are you naked?”
I laughed. I could still taste ozone on my lips. My cock had a layer of frost around it from where the Qanson’s pussy juices had frozen. It was going to be one hell of a story to tell.
Shit, who was I kidding? They were never going to believe me.