Apr 012015

Explorer’s Log: I have reached the fourth planet of the star system designated “The Queen’s Tortuous Execution of Astronomers Who Doubted She Read Their Work” by Royal Astronomers. Thanks to a damned telepathic transmission that has been fucking repeating non-stop for the last fucking twenty-seven days, I know that this is the home of the fucking cheese eating Idkians.

I planned to have extremely harsh words with these assholes about the telepathic transmission that I am hearing right fucking now as I make this report but initial scans show that there is no life on the planet. No only are the Idkians gone, but scans don’t show any lifeform of a higher nature than bacteria. I will be landing to do a closer examination.

I have also determined the source of the telepathic message. It is emanating from a building on the largest continent. I will be making my landing there. End Explorer’s Log.

Explorer’s Personal Log: As fucking annoying as it has been to have this fucking telepathic message in my head for four weeks, it is kind of sad to think that this message is all that remains of the Idkian civilization. All of their hopes, dreams and achievements in cheese making are contained within this message.

The telepathic broadcast building exploded in a fireball of superheated matter. Delicate psychic machines melted in an instant and were turned to ash. Carefully constructed messages were broken down at the atomic level and converted into light and heat.

Vaquel Di brought the plasma cannon down from her shoulder. The flickering light of the melting debris cast shadows across her skintight green space suit. Ash particles fell on the generous curves of her body. An electromagnetic field on her glasssteel helmet repelled the ash so that she had a clear view of her surroundings but it also gave anyone watching a clear view of her cute face and her cuter short pink hair.

Too bad there was no one to appreciate Vaquel’s beauty except for her loyal robot companion, Chairbot. Initial scans were correct; nothing more complex than bacteria lived in this planet. There were plenty of blood, wreckage and burn marks from laser fire but nothing alive.

Vaquel didn’t care. She stood in the flickering light of the melting building and let out a long relieved sigh. For the first time in weeks, there was quiet within her mind.

“Praise the Queen,” Vaquel whispered. She set the plasma cannon on the ground. She rarely had to break out the heavy weapons from the armory but today was a special occasion.

“Nice shot, Mistress!” Chairbot said. “Would you like to sit on me and relax?”

“Shh,” Vaquel said. She was relishing the moment. The endless descriptions of cheese had stopped. The constant barrage of popular culture minutiae was finally silenced. The only voice in Vaquel’s head was her own.

Of course that meant the really great sex education messages complete with orgasms were gone too but that was okay. Getting mentally fucked every couple of hours had tested even Vaquel’s voracious sexual appetite. She’ll miss the orgasms but it was nice to be alone in her own head.

It took Vaquel less than a minute to get bored.

“So what did happen here?” she asked out loud.

“Looks like an invasion,” Chairbot said. The wheeled chair rolled to a large smear of dried blood. “This kind of blood loss suggests that multiple organics were forced to bleed in this area.”

“But where are the bodies?” Vaquel asked. “And for that matter, where is the blood and bodies of whatever they were fighting?”

“The invading force must have placed a high priority on body recovery,” Chairbot said. “That includes themselves and their enemies.”

“Hmm,” Vaquel said. It didn’t look like any battle she had ever seen. There was a transport vehicle that looked like something bisected it. A metal pole was bent into a circle. A small metal building had been crushed as if something large and strong had squeezed it. Most of the surrounding area was demolished or damaged.

The only things untouched were these off pink crystals. They grew out of the ground wherever there was bare dirt. Most of the crystals were the size of her hand but some were a few meters tall. Vaquel assumed they were some sort of natural occurrence.

“I wonder if there is any cheese left,” Vaquel said. “I’ve craving their stupid cheese ever since we came within telepathy range.”

“I’ll begin searching, Mistress!” Chairbot said. “If I find you some, will you sit on me while you eat it?”

Vaquel sighed. “Yes, I will sit on you if you find me some cheese. Now go!”

Chairbot rolled away, using whatever sensors he had to search for cheese. Vaquel was happy to see him go. She wanted some time to herself and her own thoughts.

She leaned against one of the larger crystals and looked around her. She was no stranger to dead planets but she found it creepy to be in an empty city. The blood certainly added to the creep factor as well. A battle, no, a planet wide invasion had happened and there was no trace of the winners or losers.

At least it was fucking quiet.

A vibration ran down her back. Vaquel jumped off of the pink crystal she was leaning against. It had vibrated but a split moment but was still now.

She placed her hand back on the crystal. Another vibration emanated from the crystal. It was quite pleasant.

Vaquel smiled and leaned back against the crystal. The vibrations worked wonders on a knot she had in her back. Weeks and weeks of psychic messages had exhausted her and pushed her nerves to their limits. She deserved a massage.

A tremor ran down to her sex. Vaquel moaned and pressed her ass back against the crystal. That felt nice. The psychic transmissions had subjected her to endless oral sex and penetrations but it was nice to have sensations that were physically real. More importantly, they were something she was doing to herself.

The vibrations grew stronger. They pulsed from the bottom of the crystal up towards the top. Her buttocks clenched against the crystal and her sex grew wetter.

Vaquel needed to fuck. She pressed a button on her belt and her glassteel helmet popped free. The thought that this was biologically hazardous crossed her mind but it was soon banished by the next pulsing vibration. She took her helmet off and tossed it to the ground.

She turned around and pressed the front of her body against the tall crystal. Her cheek touched the crystal and an erotic jolt travelled through her body. That felt nice. It was an erotic shiver that went all the way down to her toes. She felt her pussy soak the inside of her spacesuit with new desire.

That was just from touching her cheek to the crystal. What if she did more of her body?

Vaquel pressed another button on her spacesuit. The green fabric retracted up her legs and down her chest. The entirety of her spacesuit pulled into her belt to reveal her dark brown body and pink pubic hair. She was nude except for her boots and belt.

She pressed the front of her body back against the crystal. Dimly she thought about what a bad idea this was. A lot of people had died here. There was no telling what kind of contaminants was in the air and on this crystal. She should get back to her ship for a full decontamination.

Then the crystal pulsed. The vibration first touched her shins which tingled as if kissed. It travelled up her thighs which clenched around the hard crystal. The vibration touched her sex briefly and Vaquel cried out with pleasure. It travelled past her stomach and Vaquel felt butterflies in her stomach. The vibration touched her breasts and her nipples hardened instantly. It touched her lips and Vaquel felt her breath get stolen.

What was this thing? As much as the Idkians loved cheese and sex, this must have been one of their many sex aids. Why else would it be here? It was meant to be touched. It had to be a part of their society and culture.

Vaquel knew there was something wrong with that thought but she couldn’t think of what it was.

The vibrations continued. Slowly they travelled up the crystal and slowly it stimulated her body. Vaquel trembled as she felt her juices running down her thighs.

Vaquel wanted more. She lifted one leg and wrapped it around the crystal as best she could. Her arms went around the crystal and squeezed it tight. She grinded her wet sex lips against the crystal.

She felt a ridge that hadn’t been there before. Her hips grinded and the ridge ran between the lips of her sex. The vibration pulse touched her sex and Vaquel nearly climaxed.

“Fuck,” she whispered. She wondered how she could have missed that ridge earlier but it didn’t matter. Her leg locked around the crystal and she grinded. She humped the crystal as the vibrations brought her body closer to orgasm.

Vaquel’s leg wrapped around a protrusion on the other side of the crystal. She hooked her leg around it and used it to pull herself higher up. A vibration passed over her body and it was twice as strong as before. It made her toes curl, her breasts tingle and her sex gush with new desire.

“The higher, the better,” Vaquel whispered. She was so close to coming and she needed more.

She brought her other leg up. Her boot found another protrusion that she had missed earlier. She was fully straddling the crystal now. A vibration worked up her body and when it reached her sex, an intense flood of sensation struck her sex.

But still no orgasm.

Vaquel reached up. The pink crystal looked smooth but her fingers found a handhold. Again a suspicion rose in her mind but it was banished as the vibration rolled over her breasts. Smashed against the crystal as she was, the vibration stimulated the entire surface area of her tits. Pleasure washed over her and a moan erupted from her throat.

She needed to keep climbing.

Vaquel reached and found another handhold. She pulled herself up and her knee found an indentation that wasn’t there before. It supported her as she pulled her body up still straddling the pulsing pink crystal.

The vibrations were much stronger. Her toes tingled as if being sucked on. Her thighs clenched tightly around the pleasure they felt. The vibrations made her pussy quiver with desire. Her nipples ached as the pulse continued upwards. Her cheek tingled and a single tear rolled down her eye. The vibrations made her fingers numb and she struggled to hold on.

Vaquel was in a daze. Every part of her body that touched the crystal was in bliss. She wished there was a crystal behind her so she could press her ass and back to it. She briefly considered rolling over and somehow climbing the rest of her way on her back but she pushed the thought away. That would mean denying her pussy the power of the crystal.

“Higher,” a voice said inside Vaquel’s head.

“Yes,” she replied and pulled herself up. She was near the top.

Another vibration pulsed. Vaquel screamed as the overwhelming pleasure moved up her body. Her thighs clenched painfully tight around the crystal. Her pussy was a soaked mess as the vibration brought so frustratingly close to orgasm once more. Her heart skipped a beat as the vibrations made her tits jiggle with unnatural force.

“Higher,” the voice and Vaquel whispered together.

She reached the top. Vaquel pulled her brown body on top of the pink megalith. She swung her legs over the top and was not surprised to see that the crystal was almost shaped like a seat. A ridge waited for her pussy and Vaquel shifted her weight onto it.

Pleasure coursed through Vaquel’s body. She was at the apex. The vibrations were going to be the strongest here. Her brown legs clenched tightly around the crystal as she awaited her pleasure.

Sweat covered Vaquel’s body. The vibration was moments away and she couldn’t wait. She groaned with urgent need as she waited for the pleasure to come.

She looked out at the city around her. All of the pink crystals around her were glowing. In fact, so was her’s. When did that happen? She wasn’t sure.

The surrounding area was laid out before her. Vaquel looked at the blood, the carnage and weapons fire with a new perspective. The blood was around the crystals. The carnage surrounded the larger crystals. The laser burns and explosive craters were in areas near the crystals.

The slow vibration pulse reached her toes. Even through her boots she could feel pleasure permeating her body. It travelled up her shins and she felt pleasure there that she didn’t think was possible.

There was something Vaquel knew but she could remember.

“Relax and come,” the voice said. Vaquel thought that was reasonable.

The vibration reached her knees. A million erogenous zones on the back of her knees sprang to life.

“Soon you shall come,” the voice said. Vaquel wanted that.

The vibrations reached her thighs. She squeezed so hard with her thighs around the crystal that she knew she was bruising herself. It didn’t matter. The vibration turned the pain into pleasure.

The vibration slowly crept towards her sex. She was so slick that could feel the juices running down the crystal. her orgasm was imminent.

Vaquel realized what she should have known. For four weeks, the Idkians told her everything about their civilization. They explained their music, their fucking, their politics and their cheese.

They never mentioned the crystals.

Instinct kicked in before sexual desire. Vaquel launched herself off the tall pink crystal before the vibration reached her sex. She fell down to the ground and quickly slapped the anti-gravity button on her belt. Her fall was stopped just short of the ground.

A small pink crystal the size of a decent cock vibrated inches from her face. Vaquel was tempted to sit on it.

The crystal shattered. A pink tentacle writhed and reached for her.

“Queen’s tit!” Vaquel yelled. She scrambled to her feet.

The sound of shattering crystals filled the city. Shards flew everywhere. Vaquel raised her arms to protect her head. Tiny fragments grazed her tits, ass, legs, back and arms.

“Mistress! Unusual activity is occurring in my vicinity!” Chairbot announced over the communicator.

“No shit!” Vaquel yelled. “Get back to the probe ship!”

There was a whistling sound and Vaquel jumped to the left. Something crashed into the ground that she had been moments before. It was the tentacle that had been inside the crystal she had been climbing. Now it was active and wiggling towards her.

Vaquel dodged away from it. The tentacle was slow and clumsy. It smashed into a building and created a familiar looking hole in it.

“Fuck this,” Vaquel said. She looked for her plasma cannon. It was a few meters away. She was going to show these asshole a lesson about teasing her.

She ran towards it. Another giant tentacle smashed down on it. A small explosion knocked Vaquel from her feet. The plasma generator must have exploded.

When the smoke cleared, a crater was all that remained of the cannon. The pink tentacle however was perfectly fine.

“Oh yes, fuck this,” Vaquel said.

She ran. Tentacles the size of cocks tired to trip her. Tentacles a meter long tried to grab her. Tentacles the size of buildings tried to crush her.

The naked brown space explorer dodged them all. Heavy tits bounced as she jumped. Her round firm butt clenched as she ran as fast as she could. Pussy juices ran down her legs as she evaded tentacles after tentacles.

Chairbot was waiting at the ship entrance. A crate was strapped to its seat. The little robot wheeled back and forth in excitement.

“Hurry, Mistress! The engines are ready for takeoff!” Chairbot said.

Vaquel was about to shout back when another voice spoke. It was from inside her mind.

“Stay. Come. Stay. Come.”

“Fucking cunt tease,” Vaquel swore and kept running.

She dived through the door. She hit the inside hard. Her heavy tits slammed into her chest and nearly knocked the wind from her.

The door shut. She felt the ship take off immediately. Within seconds they were in orbit.

“Are you okay, Mistress?” Chairbot asked. “I got your cheese.”

Vaquel pulled herself to her feet. She kicked the crate off of Chairbot’s seat and took it’s place. Sensors within the robot’s seat detected a high level of sexual juices and automatically activated the vibrating function.

She came instantly. “Glory to the Queen!” she yelled. She quivered with relieved frustration.

There was a word spoken in her head but it was too faint to make out. As Vaquel grinded and began her second orgasm, the voice stopped altogether.

  4 Responses to “Fiction: Last of the Idkian Cheese”

  1. Destruction to the psychic messages! And yay for chairbot orgasms (and cheese).

    xx Dee

  2. I squeed at the name of the planet. The tentacles were pretty awesome too.

    • It took awhile to get to the punchline on the star system name but it was totally worth it.

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